The Crossing Community Church
“Transforming Love”
Pastor Jim Botts
June 16th, 2002
-1 Corinthians 13:13 There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love (NLT).
Love is a very popular word in our society. Amazon.com lists 2,652 book titles regarding “Heaven,” 10,304 for “Money,” 16,765 for “Sex,” 18,818 for “God,” and 30,066 for “Love.” Love is one of the deepest human needs of all, yet it is also a very misunderstood and misused concept.
Consider the following love letter:
Dearest Jimmy,
No words could ever express the great unhappiness I’ve felt since breaking off our engagement. Please say you’ll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart, so please forgive me. I love you, I love you, I love you!
Yours Forever, Marie
P.S. And congratulations on winning the state lottery!!!
Genuine love is a powerful reality, a biblical reality, and a family transformation reality. The Bible has a lot to say about love, the word occurs at least 650 times. Scripture extols the transforming power of love, what it can do for broken marriage, a severed relationship or a struggling family.
BIBLICAL LOVE = UB4ME
We will be looking into one of the most beautiful sections of God’s Word, the great love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13. It must be understood in its context as a portion of letter written by the Apostle Paul to help a church in Corinth Greece to keep on track with God. The chapters before and after it are about God’s family using their spiritual gifts to build up the church family. Paul’s main point is that our becoming more loving people is more important than being spiritual busy and active people.
Goal for today: To maintain God’s on-going work in my home by practicing the principles of God’s transforming love in my family relationships.
**READ 1 Corinthians 13:1-8**
My family can access on-going transformation as I…
1. MAKE LOVE A TOP PRIORITY IN MY LIFE (v1-3)
When it comes to family life, we try many other things to affect change than love.
But God says that love is the greatest thing! Greater than…
**Talk (v1): Many people think that talk will change their family; rely on words like, “We need to talk, you don’t appreciate me, why are you late again?”
I’m all for communication, but it doesn’t matter how eloquent you are. It doesn’t matter how clear you can make the issues, if there is no love.
If my communication is not backed up by love, I’M A NOISEMAKER! Talk without love is not only useless but counter productive to the real transformation that God longs to bring into my family.
**Knowledge (v2a): Some people try to reason their way out of family problems. We are a truth church: committed to live it, share it, experience it.
Jesus said the truth will set you free…for what? Free to love God, free to love others and especially free to love my family.
Some of the most unloving Christians are veritable storehouses of Biblical knowledge, notebooks full, but lives devoid of God’s love. If the truth doesn’t yield a greater love harvest in my life and in my family than my knowledge is useless.
**Faith (v2b): Faith is big time on God’s agenda – without it you cant please God. But you can have all of the faith in the world and still not have love.
Think of the families that shove God down their kid’s throat sideways, but did not have love – these kids are far from God as a result. If I have knowledge and faith without love, I’M A NOTHING!
**Service (v3a): There are families that generously meet other people’s needs, but at home there are scores of unmet needs to those who are the closest.
If your family fed people at the soup kitchen, or gave up ALL possessions, but lacked love – at home - it doesn’t count.
**Sacrifice (v3b): Here is a reference to martyrdom in the early church. Some families try to sacrifice their way to better days. “Do you know how many hours I work, how much effort I’ve put into this family, do you realize what I’m giving!” If I literally gave me life for my family, and they did not know my love I GAIN NOTHING!
In God’s mind, love is the greatest thing!
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied, "’You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ (38) This is the first and greatest commandment. (39) A second is equally important: ’Love your neighbor as yourself’ (NLT).
Priority #1: Love God! The first four commandments drive us to put God first!
God made you and me. He has given us life and has set His love on us. This vertical relationship is the most important since we will stand before Him an give an account for our lives.
Priority #2: Love Others! The next six commandments drive us to love others! Loving others is the outflow of embracing God’s love for me. But got how?
2. REMOVE THE BARRIERS TO LOVE FROM MY LIFE (v4-6)
Love is a daily, practical thing. We should be growing in our love capacity.
Here is a test to see if you’re growing in love: YES or NO answers.
1. Do I love more people? how many people do you really love – and they know it? How long is the list, four people? We should be adding more and more people to it as we grow through life.
2. Do I love different kinds of people? Are people from different cultures, backgrounds, ages and economic standings finding their way to your love relationships? My dream is that The Crossing be a place where all different kinds of people get loved.
3. Do I love over longer periods of time? Pastors leave, church members leave - you can change jobs, you can change neighborhoods, but is there a growing capacity to love the same people over the long haul. Face it - you’re not getting a different wife or family! The grass is greener where it is watered!
Identify the traits of love: Look at the three positives to have.
(v4) Love is patient: this word is always used with people not circumstances. It means to “suffer long” with people, to patiently work things out.
Love is kind: this means courteous, gracious and pleasant to people.
**Love rejoices with the truth (v6b): not sloppy compromise, but pure joy in truth.
These are the measure of genuine love – insert your name before each Check the ones you need to deal with!
Identify the barriers to remove: Look at the negatives to remove
**Love is not jealous (v4): we are often impatient and unkind due to jealousy. This word means to envy or have an intense desire for other’s stuff
Love does not brag: being so into yourself that you have to vaunt yourself.
Love is not arrogant: this is when you puff yourself up and assert yourself
**Love does not act unbecomingly (rude)(v5): cutting sarcasm directed at others
Love does not seek its own: inflexible, insisting that everyone else adjust to you
Love is not provoked: easily stirred up or a person with a short tolerance.
Love does not take into account a wrong suffered: no record keeping of sins!
**Love does not rejoices in unrighteousness (v6): gloating over others’ failures.
These are the barriers of genuine love – insert your name before each one as a self test.
Check the ones you need to improve!
3. APPLY THE PRINCIPLES OF LOVE IN MY FAMILY (v7-8)
There are five principles to apply for transforming love (v7-8)
1. Don’t focus on the failures of others: “Bears all things” (from the word “roof”) Means to bear with a person, to cover all things. Loving my family means that I put up with ALL their failures and keep from focusing on them.
- 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins (NASB)
2. Assume the best in people: “Believes all things” (give credit - the benefit of the doubt).
Being willing to start over and trust people anew. In ALL things, I must be willing to assume the best, and grant others a fresh start(that is transforming).
3. Regard no one as hopeless: “Hopes all things.” The word indicates having a positive expectation for people. Think of no family situation or person as beyond hope – never give up hope!
4. Never give up on anyone: “Endures all things” Real love never stops trying to work things out. Your family is too important to give up.
5. Draw regularly upon the power of love: “Love never fails” We are too familiar with these words. Think of it – here’s something that will never fail in your life or in your family. Never fails to what? TO EVERYTHING, but you’ve got to draw upon it!
Love never fails to win back the heart of a distant loved one. Never fails to conquer the years of neglect – to bring a stubborn, willful child back into the fold. Whatever your family burden – love never fails!
All that we’ve studied over the past weeks flows from this transforming love.
Forgiveness is possible only if you have God’s love and love others. Blessing is love directed at your children, and honor is love returned to the parents. Truth is love’s greatest ally. The church is the place where we practice giving and receiving love. And commitments are kept when love is the fuel.
HEADS BOWED: Invite God to bring up before you the reality of your own life in this matter of love. What barriers did you identify? You’re in a phenomenal place if you can say in your heart, “I don’t have this kind of love – say it, God I don’t have it!” It comes only through a relationship with Jesus Christ!
- 1 John 4:10 This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins (NLT).
You can know the love of God and enter into a personal relationship with Jesus if you’ll trust Him as the only basis for the forgiveness of your sins. The Bible says that forgiveness of sins and eternal life in heaven are free gifts that Jesus died to provide. All you must do is transfer your trust from every thing you’ve ever hoped in and rely completely upon Him as you receive Him as your Savior.
