Introduction:
We sometimes call someone who is in love with himself a narcissist. What you may not know, though, is the story from Greek mythology from which we get that word. There are actually two Greek characters in the myth -- Narcissus and Echo. As the story goes, the goddess Hera got angry with Echo and cursed her by saying that she was doomed to repeat whatever she heard anyone else say.
One day Echo was hiding in the woods when the young man Narcissus was hunting and got lost. He called out to his friends, “Where are you?” Echo was forced to say, “Where are you?” He said, “I’m over here.” Echo said, “I’m over here.” So Narcissus started toward her and she got scared and ran away. Every time he called out to her, she answered.
She ran until she came to a clearing with a pool of water. When Narcissus came to the pool, he looked down and saw his own reflection for the first time and immediately feel in love with the beautiful young man he saw. He said, “I love you.” Echo who was hiding said, “I love you.” Narcissus thought it was this young man calling back to him. He wanted to be with him, so he jumped in the water, dove to the bottom of the pool and drowned.
The Bible has much about pride and about having too high an opinion of ourselves. But I suspect that more Christians struggle with the opposite problem -- not thinking highly enough of themselves.
In Romans 12:3, Paul said, “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly…” It is significant to me that Paul said we are not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think, meaning that there is a level of self-esteem which is proper.
When Jesus taught in Luke 10:27, "You shall love....your neighbor as yourself", that suggests that there is an extent to which we should love ourselves. In fact, it may well be accurate to say that we’re going to have difficulty loving others if we don’t have a proper respect and love for ourselves to begin with.
James Dobson once took a survey of women and concluded that the number-one source of depression among women is low self-esteem. Studies indeed seem to show that women suffer more from low self-esteem than men do but it’s certainly a problem faced by both.
Low self-esteem, simply stated, is the inability to feel good about yourself. It is usually characterized by feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness and a lack of self-confidence. People with low self-esteem feel inferior and just simply don’t feel good about themselves. It is wondering why other people have so much more talent and ability than you do. It is feeling incredibly unattractive. It is disliking everything about yourself and wishing, constantly wishing, you could be someone else.
Which of us, men or women, have not experienced some of those feelings?
We need to develop a high self-esteem. Now, what I mean by high self-esteem is not a boastful spirit or a self-righteous attitude. It is simply a feeling of self-worth. It is self-confidence in your abilities or talents, whatever they may be.
I. Why is Self-Esteem Important?
We need to develop self-esteem because it affects so many areas of our lives. It affects our home life, it affects our relationship with others. But it also affects our work in the church. A Christian with high self-esteem is more likely to become involved in various programs of the church and in teaching Bible classes. He recognizes what his talents are and seeks to use them for the Lord. On the other hand, Christians with a low self-esteem are like the man who hid his one talent (Luke 19). They won’t use their talents because they are afraid of failure or criticism. They compare themselves with others and say, "Let So-and-So do it. He can do a much better job than I. I just don’t feel qualified."
Remember when Moses told God, “I really don’t feel qualified to do this job of leading your people out of Egypt. I really think you ought to get somebody else to do it.” And God said, “Who do you think gave you that tongue? I gave it to you. I expect you to use it.” (Exodus 4:11). Granted that a rather loose translation, but it gives you the idea.
The same thing happened when God picked Gideon to lead the Israelites into battle. Gideon said, “I’m a nobody.” God said, “Go in this might of yours!” (Judges 6:14).
You see, having a proper view of ourselves can make us better Christians. We can become more confident servants of God. I’m not interested this morning in boosting our egos. But hopefully a better self-esteem will cause us to be willing to do more for God and for others.
II. Why Do We Have Such a Low Self-Esteem?
There are several things that may contribute to a lack of self-esteem -- guilt over past sins, worry and anxiety, criticism and a lack of encouragement from others. But one of the greatest reasons for a Christian having a low self-esteem has to be the value system of the world around us.
God said, "Do not love the world or the things in the world." (I John 2:15). But, Satan is going to do his best to make us want to love the world and he uses many different ways to accomplish that. He makes us afraid to be different from the world even though God tells us not to be "conformed to this world" (Romans 12:2). When Satan makes us feel embarrassed because we are different from the world in the way we think and live and dress and talk, he has succeeded in attacking our self-esteem. Satan wants the world to determine how we feel about ourselves rather than God.
The problem becomes evident at a very early age. We call it "peer pressure". The desire among teen-agers to be accepted and popular is very strong. When non-Christians begin to ask, "Why don’t you drink, or smoke, or have sex?", the Christian teen-ager feels his self-esteem on the line. He wants to feel important, he wants to be a part of the crowd, but on the other hand, he knows that he has to make a choice based on what’s right and what’s wrong. And no matter what his choice, his self-esteem is bound to be a bit lower simply because of the peer pressure.
The mass media has gone a long ways toward promoting the values of the world. When you open your newspaper, or turn on your television set, or read a magazine, you are introduced to the "important" people of the world -- the superstars, celebrities and well-known people.
We look to entertainment and the attention that is received by only a few actors and actresses and singers -- people like Tom Hanks, Barbara Streisand and Julia Roberts.
We read in the paper about Al Gore and George W. Bush, about Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey and Tiger Woods.
Somehow all these people seem to be different from the rest of us. They are special. They live with an excitement and a level of importance which most of us don’t experience. And we are made to feel that because our lifestyle is not that of the rich and the famous, that somehow we are insignificant and worthless.
But there is something terribly wrong with this value system. I think of all the boys who have their hearts set on being a professional football player and making $500,000 a year. And all the girls who dream of becoming Miss America. There’s nothing wrong with setting goals and aiming for them, but if we fail to achieve that highest level that is recognized by society, do we cease to be important?
You see, if we live by the standards of our culture which tells us who is special, we are going to be frustrated. Our normal routine seems so dull and uneventful. We fall under what we consider to be the curse of being average.
They tell us that one of life’s most severe crises comes when we approach the age of forty. This crisis grows out of a sense of frustration that we have not achieved the level of accomplishment we had expected. We had thought we would do better. Suddenly we’re faced with the fact that we are only "average". Our frustration comes from accepting the common view of who is special.
But when we hang our self-worth on the possession of power, talent or wealth, we are doomed to unhappiness. Abraham Lincoln once said, "God must have loved the average people. He created so many of them."
If we base our worth on a standard like that, we will always be frustrated, because it is a false system of values. But the Bible has a perspective on "important people" that is quite different from the one you get from newspapers, magazines and television.
III. The Basis of Self-Esteem
There are several things that the Bible teaches us that help us to realize how important we really are.
A. We were made in the image of God.
In the very first pages of the Bible, we get a feeling of self-worth. The world was created by God. Then, on the sixth day, we read, "Then God said, ’Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness." (Genesis 1:26).
And the same thing that was true of Adam is true of each and every one of us. We are made "in the image of God". We are not descendants of a monkey or of a jellyfish, but were created by Jehovah God himself. As Job said, "The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life." (Job 33:4).
I’ve sure you’ve all seen the little plague around that says something like, "I’m somebody special, cause God don’t make no junk." There’s a great deal of truth in that.
Remember a number of years ago when a little girl named Jessica fell into a well and couldn’t get out. People from all over showed up to help. Equipment was donated, people neglected their jobs to help that little girl. People all over that town waited anxiously. Eventually she was rescued. People were relieved. Everyone was happy. It was the featured news story in that town....and across the country.
Why all the fuss over one little girl? And why were we so concerned about a handful of fellow-Americans who were captured in Iraq? Because something deep within us tells us that every human life is special.
I like the words of T. S. Eliot: "...There’s something in us, In all of us which isn’t just heredity, But something unique. Something we have been from eternity. Something... straight from God."
The values of our society may look down on the average person. Maybe you’re not as fast as others, or as strong, or as good-looking, or as smart. But you were formed by the hands of God in his own likeness. And you are very special to Him.
B. God knows each and every one of us.
Listen to the psalm of a man whose value system was based on faith. It isn’t the statement of a superstar, but of a man who saw his own worth in view of his relationship with God. "O Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; you understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, you know it all together." (Psalm 139:1-4). In verse six, David goes on to say "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me."
Here was a man who wasn’t frustrated. He knew his value didn’t depend on playing the leading role or being able to alter the course of history (although he did that). He was special because God knew him. And you are special for the same reason!
Jesus made some statements which show the value he placed on us. "Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." (Luke 12:6-7). A sparrow seems practically worthless. Yet, God knows the whereabouts of every sparrow. But he is much more concerned about you than he is about a sparrow. The whole design of Jesus’ statement is to make you see how valuable you are in the eyes of God.
And "even the hairs of your head are all numbered," he said. How many hairs are growing from your scalp? You couldn’t even come close to guessing the count. Of course, with some people God has more to keep up with than others. But God cares for you that he keeps a daily count of such a seemingly insignificant thing.
There are over 5 billion people on the face of this the world today. It’s easy to feel that that makes us insignificant. We’re just one more. But God knows you and He knows you by name. He knows where you live, where you go, what you do, what you say and even what you think. Because you matter to God. You are special to him. And his judgment of your worth has nothing to do with your financial status, or with how fast you can run 100 yards. You are one of His children and He loves you very much.
We are not mass-produced on an assembly line. We are individuals. So Lincoln wasn’t totally correct when he spoke of God making so many average people. In truth he made no ordinary people. The newspapers may not know your name, but God does. There’s nothing ordinary about you. You’re very special!
C. God loves us -- enough to die for us.
In the early part of the third century, a critic of the church criticized Christianity because "they take in just anybody. They have no standards." But he missed the point. He was the one using the wrong standards. According to God’s standards, each of us is truly "someone special".
Jesus had a capacity to show a special love to everyone he met -- and it is especially apparent when he dealt with people who probably didn’t have a very high self-esteem, people who were considered nobodies by everyone around them, and who very likely came to believe it themselves. But to Jesus, they were important.
There was the Samaritan woman who had had five husbands. There was Zaccheus and the other tax collectors who were looked down upon by everyone. There was the woman caught in the act of adultery. There were the prostitutes who wanted to find a new life. Jesus gave each of them a feeling of self-worth, a whole new outlook on life because he loved them.
And he loves us in the same way. Paul wrote, "But God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8). This is the ultimate proof that you are special.
One of the most beautiful thoughts in all the world is that if you were the only person in the world, Jesus would have come and died on the cross just for you. That’s how much he loves you. And that’s how special you are to him.
You see, God’s evaluation of your worth doesn’t depend upon what others think, nor upon the standards of measurement we often use. He loves you just as you are, with all your shortcomings and inabilities.
The story is told of a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter:
Dear IRS:
Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a "1.5 inch screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
A satisfied taxpayer
I don’t recommend trying this yourself. Is a toilet seat worth $600? Not to me! (and I suspect not to the IRS either). Ultimately, though, what determines the "worth" of a toilet seat,
or anything else, is how much someone is willing to pay for it.
How much is a Beanie Baby worth? In terms of the material involved, only a few cents. But, if someone is willing to pay several hundred dollars for it, that’s what it’s worth!
Several years ago, someone calculated the "worth" of a human being by figuring out how much it would cost to buy the elements that compose our body and came up with an amount of several dollars. But our true worth is determined by how much someone was willing to pay for us.
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45)
Consider the fact that Jesus Christ regarded you as valuable enough to die on the cross for you. That tells us that we are worth a great deal.
Conclusion:
You are someone special. You were created in the image of God. He knows you by name and loves you. He loved you enough to die for you -- that makes you worth a great deal. If you’ve been feeling inadequate and worthless, may God grant you the strength today to turn that around.
While all humans are born in the image of God, those who are Christians are born again in the image of God and have even more reason to have a high self-esteem. We are the children of God. Now, that doesn’t make us any better than anyone else, but it does give us an even greater sense of value.
Maybe you’re not a Christian. Maybe you feel like, "If I could just start over. If I could only put my mistakes and my sins behind me and start things out right." In II Corinthians 5:17, Paul said, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." Here’s your chance. Repent of your sins, be baptized into Christ and begin a brand new life.
God thought you were worth dying for? Do you think this morning he’s worth living for?
