Traits of A True Friend
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
This message was a dual preached sermon. As one person preached the other braided a cord of three strands.
OPENING:
RYAN:* I wonder why it’s such a compliment to tell a woman she looks like a breath of spring, but not to tell her she looks like the end of hard winter. Isn’t it the same thing?
Karl* I wonder why it pleases her to say time stands still when you look into her face, but not to say her face would stop a clock. Why?
RYAN; Karl I would love a true friend that tells me the truth wouldn’t you?
Karl:Yes I would and today lets discuss how we can spot a true friend
Read Text Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Intro:
R: A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out
K: Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You, too? I thought I was the only one."
C.S. Lewis.
R:A friend is someone who know exactly what you are and loves you anyway
K: Oscar Wilde wrote, "A true friend always stabs you in the front."
R: Lawrence Peters says you can tell a real friend by the fact that when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
Context of chapter4
Traits of a True Friend…
1.) Friends Partners (9)
Verse 9,” Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work
A farmer was detained for questioning about an election scandal. "Did you sell your vote?" the attorney asked. "No sir, not me," the farmer protested. "I voted for that there fella ’cause I liked him." "Come, now," threatened the attorney. "I have evidence that he gave you fifty dollars for a vote." "Well, now," the farmer said, "it’s plain common sense that when a fella gives you fifty dollars you like him."
Now this is not the partnership Solomon is writing about in verse9.
Solomon is speaking of the law of synergy. Where as one 1 horse can pull a 1,000 pounds 2 can pull 3,000.
This partnership is more than business partners . These friends have one goal in mind for life.
For example, Jimmy and Lauries –PLAY VIDEO: This illustrationis a HS buddy of ours that got saved the weekend of this message. Karl led him in repentance and I baptized him
Transition….
*ILL- Ryan raised Money for my dad’s funeral.1,500 raised at OCC chapel for karl’s dad’s funeral. True friend picks you up in dark times of life
2.) Friends Pick-up ( verse 10)
If one falls down, his friend can help him up!
Why should you pick up fallen friends?
a. You will eventually fall and need help getting up.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (Proverbs 17:17)
Now isn’t that something? We think a friend is for the good times, someone with whom we laugh and have fun. Here the Bible tells us a friend is to help us get over the tough times in life.
Do any of us want friends SOLELY for the purpose of sharing the good times?
If you are naive enough to believe that, then tell me what you think of a so-called friend when they avoid you when you get in a tight spot?
Quite honestly my "best" friends are not the ones who just laughed with me - no, my best friends are the ones who have cried with me!
Wal-mart------------Pick-up Karl when Him and Ryan got into a fight. Karl got out of car. Walked like a bay throwing a fit. Ryan left him and later returned. Karl got back in car and cried together.
3.) Friends Persevere(verse 11)
11 "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?")
I Pyschology Today of June 1982, 40,00 people were surveyed and asked what qualities were most valued in a friendship the the 3rd most important quality was warmth and affection.
People need to have someone stand close to them during the cold-times of life
There are a lot of "cold times" in life when folks need a friend:
a. When they are having relationship problems.
b. When they are having health problems.
c. When they are having financial problems.
The associate press 1994 OCEANSlDE, Calif. (AP)
In Mr. Alter’s fifth-grade class. Everyone is bald
"If everybody has their head shaved, sometimes people don’t know who’s who. They don’t know who has cancer, and who just shaved their head" said 11-yeat-old Scott Sebelius, one of the baldies at Lake Elementary School.
For the record, Ian O’Gorman is the sick one.
Doctors recently removed a malignant tumor from his small intestine, and a week ago he started chemotherapy to treat the disease, called lymphoma.
Ian decided to get his head shaved before all his hair fell out in clumps. To his surprise, his friends wanted to join him –
"The last thing he would want is to not fit in, to be made fun of, so we just wanted to make him feel better and not left out" said 10-year-old Kyle Hanslik.
Kyle started talking to other boys about the idea, and then one of their parents started a list. Last week, they all went to the barber shop together.
"It’s hard to put words to," said Ian’s father, Shawn, choking back tears as he talked about the boys.
"It’s very emotional to think about kids like that who would come together, to have them do such a thing to support Ian." The boys’ teacher, Jim Alter, was so inspired that be, too, shaved his head.
They persevered together….
Ryan was beat up Mark Waver for drugs. Karl stood up with him.
4.) Friends Protect (12)
Verse 12, “Though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves.”
In the study of 40,000 people who were asked what they valued most in a friendship the Number one answer was the ability to keep confidences
We protect people when we protect the secrets of their hearts
-Prov 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
-16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension,
- and a gossip separates close friends.
Consider these thoughts from Chuck Swindoll:
"An old Marine Corp buddy of mine, to my pleasant surprise, came to know Christ after he was discharged. I say surprise because he cursed loudly, fought hard, chased women, drank heavily, loved war and weapons, and hated chapel services.
A number of months ago, I ran into this fellow, and after we’d talked awhile, he put his hand on my shoulder and said,
’You know, Chuck, the only thing I still miss is that old fellowship I used to have with all the guys down at the tavern. I remember how we used to sit around and let our hair down.
I can’t find anything like that for Christians. I no longer have a place to admit my faults and talk about my battles -- where somebody won’t preach at me and frown and quote me a verse.’
’The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit that there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give his church.
It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality -- but it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. It is democratic.
You can tell people secrets, and they usually don’t tell others or even want to.
The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers.
With all my heart I believe that Christ wants his church to be unshockable, a fellowship where people can come in and say, ’I’m sunk, I’m beat, I’ve had it.’ "
stop and ask yourself some tough questions.
ö Make a list of some possible embarassing situations people may not know how to handle.
ö A woman discovers her husband is a practicing homosexual. Where in the church can she find help where she’s secure with her secret?
ö Your mate talks about separation or divorce. To whom do you tell it?
ö Your daughter is pregnant and she’s run away -- for the third time. She’s no longer listening to you. Who do you tell that to?
ö You lost your job, and it was your fault. You blew it, so there’s shame mixed with unemployment. Who do you tell that to?
ö Financially, you were unwise, and you’re in deep trouble.
ö Or a man’s wife is an alcoholic.
ö Or something as horrible as getting back the biopsy from the surgeon, and it reveals cancer, and the prognosis isn’t good.. To whom do you tell it?
We’re the only outfit I know that shoots its wounded.
An Arabian Proverb says: "A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."
Conclusion:
Lets see if our opening quotes fit the description of Jesus?
A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone
- Jesus said,” I will never leave you nor forsake you
A friend is someone who know exactly what you are and loves you anyway
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends" (John 15:13).
Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball.
While breaking baseball’s "color barrier," he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error.
His own fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered.
Then shortstop "Pee Wee" Reese came over and stood next to him.
He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd.
The fans grew quiet.
Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career.
Jesus did not just walk out on the mound and put his arms around you
He walked on the mound of Calvary and starched his arms out for you.
He did not take a stand to save your career
He became a sacrifice to save your Life.
BRING CORD UP FRONT.
FRIENDS WILL FAIL WITHOUT CHRIST AS THE CENTER FRIEND
HE CALLS US HIS FRIENDS IN JOHN 15
Is your friendships fragile? Then the question stand is Christ woven into he fabric of your friendships?
