MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
(REVISED: 2016)
TEXT: Ephesians 4:29-32; Titus 3:3-4
ILL. A number of years ago a cosmetic company sponsored a promotion in which people were asked to submit pictures & letters about the most beautiful women they knew. Thousands of letters & pictures poured in.
But one particular letter from a young boy captured a lot of attention, & it was shown to the president of the company. From what the boy wrote it was obvious that he was from a broken home & living with his father in an old & run-down neighborhood.
Writing about the woman, he said, “A beautiful woman lives down the street from me. I visit her every day. She makes me feel like the most important kid in the world. We play checkers & she listens to my problems. She understands me, & when I leave she yells out the door that she’s proud of me.”
He enclosed her picture & wrote, “This picture shows you that she is the most beautiful woman.”
Intrigued, the president asked to see her picture. His secretary handed him a photograph of a smiling, toothless woman, well-advanced in years, sitting in a wheelchair. Her sparse gray hair was pulled back in a bun, & the wrinkles on her face seemed to fade away beneath the twinkle in her eyes.
Smiling, the president said, “It’s a good letter, but we can’t use it. It would show the world that our products aren’t necessary to be beautiful.” (Adapted - SC)
A. I think he’s right. There’s a beauty, an attractiveness that’s completely unrelated to physical appearance. There’s a kindness, a gentleness, a concern, a love that can be seen & experienced in the lives of those around us.
ILL. Listen to this letter that was written to Ann Landers.
"Dear Ann, I’m a 46 year old woman, divorced, with 3 grown children. After several months of chemotherapy following a mastectomy for breast cancer, I was starting to put my life back together when my doctor called with the results of my last checkup. They had found more cancer, & I was devastated.
"My relatives had not been very supportive. I was the first person in the family to have cancer & they didn't know how to behave toward me. They tried to be kind, but I had the feeling they were afraid that it was contagious. They called on the phone to see how I was doing, but kept their distance. And that really hurt.
"Last Saturday I headed for the laundromat. You see the same people there almost every week. We exchange greetings, & make small talk. So I pulled into the parking lot, determined not to look depressed, but my spirits were really low.
"While taking my laundry out of the car, I looked up & saw a man, one of the regulars, leaving with his bundle. He smiled & said, ‘Good morning. How are you today?' Suddenly I lost control of myself & blurted out, ‘This is the worst day of my life! I have more cancer!' Then I began to cry.
"He put his arms around me & just let me sob. Then he said, ‘I understand. My wife has been through it, too.' After a few minutes I felt better, stammered out my thanks, & proceeded on into the laundromat.
"About 15 minutes later, here he came back with his wife. Without saying a word, she walked over & hugged me. Then she said, ‘I've been there, too. Feel free to talk to me. I know what you're going through.'
"Ann, I can't tell you how much that meant to me. Here was this total stranger, taking her time to give me emotional support & courage to face the future at a time when I was ready to give up.
"Oh, I hope God gives me a chance to do for someone else what that wonderful woman & her husband did for me. Meanwhile, Ann, please let your readers know that even though there are a lot of hard hearted people in this world, there are some incredibly generous & loving ones, too."
There are a lot of different kinds of people, aren't there? The apostle Paul wrote these words in Ephesians 4:29 & 31, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen...
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage & anger, brawling & slander, along with every form of malice."
B. We see people all around us bitter & angry: angry at the world because it hasn't given them enough; angry at God because they think He hasn't treated them fairly; angry at their spouses because marriage is not everything they expected it to be; angry at their children; angry at their neighbors; angry at their job. Angry!
So Paul gives a survival message that says, "If you want to make it, you can't live like that because it'll eat you alive."
Then in the very next verse he gives the antidote. To get rid of your hostility, your anger, do this "Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
PROP. Did you catch that? The 3 essential ingredients in getting rid of bitterness, hostility, & anger are: #1, be kind to one another; #2, be compassionate towards one another; & #3, forgive each other.
I. BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER
#1, "Be kind to one another." Kindness is almost a lost art today, isn't it? So many people are rude & self centered, worried about themselves, & not worried very much about others.
Listen to these words of the Apostle Paul in Titus 3:3, "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved by all kinds of passions & pleasures. We lived in malice & envy, being hated & hating one another."
Sounds rather contemporary, doesn't it? And Paul even includes himself. He said, "We were hated & we hated one another." That's the way much of the world behaves.
Then he goes on to say in Titus 3:4, "But when the kindness & love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy."
Did you hear that? It is because of the kindness & mercy of God that we are saved. If God reacted to us the way we often react to one another, He would have washed his hands of us long ago. But instead, He reached out in love to save us.
ILL. A missionary returning home after serving many years in the jungles of New Guinea was asked, "What was it like? Tell us what you found there."
"Found? I found a mission field that looked more hopeless than if I had been sent into a jungle of wild animals." "What do you mean?" he was asked.
"The people were so brutal & depraved that they seemed utterly devoid of any moral feelings. If a mother were carrying her little baby & the child was crying & wouldn't stop, she would simply throw it into the ditch & let it die.
"If a man saw his own father break his leg, he would just leave him to suffer by himself. They had no compassion whatever. They didn't even know what the word meant." “Well, what were you able to do? Did you preach to them?"
"No, not at first. I thought it better to show them my faith by my works! When I saw a baby crying, I picked it up & took care of it. When I saw a man with a broken leg, I sought to mend it. When I found people distressed & hungry, I took them in, comforted & fed them.
"Finally they began to ask, ‘Why are you doing this for us?' Then I had my chance. I told them about Jesus & His love, & gradually many of them came to know & love Jesus, too."
SUM. Paul said, "Be kind to one another because God has been kind to us."
II. BE COMPASSIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER
Paul then says, "Be compassionate to one another." The word "compassion" simply means that your feelings become a part of my life, & I begin to share & understand what you feel, & what is going on inside of you.
ILL. Listen to this true story about what happened to a 10-year-old Jewish boy in Poland during WW2. For generations his family had been a part of this small village.
But when the Nazis occupied Poland SS troops came to the village & rounded up all the Jews there for execution.
They were forced to dig their own graves – a long shallow ditch. Then they were lined up along the ditch & machine-gunned. The impact of the bullets knocked their bodies into the ditch & the Nazis shoveled dirt on top of them.
But none of the bullets had hit this little boy. Splattered with the blood of his parents, when they fell into the ditch he fell with them, pretending to be dead. The layer of dirt that was shoveled on top of him was so thin that it didn’t prevent air from getting to him, so he could still breathe.
The Nazis left, & when darkness fell several hours later this 10-year-old boy clawed his way out of the grave. With blood & dirt caked to his little body he made his way to the nearest house & begged for help.
Recognizing him as one of the Jewish boys marked for death by the SS the woman screamed at him to go away, & slammed the door in his face. He was turned away at the next house, & the one after that also. In each case their fear of the Nazis overpowered any feelings of compassion they might have had.
Dirty, bloody & shivering the little boy went on. Then something inside guided him to say something very strange for a Jewish boy to say. When the next family he approached opened their door he cried out, “Don’t you recognize me? I’m the Jesus you say you love.”
After a startled pause the woman who stood in the doorway swept him into her arms & kissed him. From that day on that family cared for him as if he were one of their very own. (Adapted from David Yarbrough – SC)
APPL. “Be kind & compassionate to one another…” Remember, it is Jesus who said in Matthew 25:40, “Whatever you did for the least of these…, you did for me.”
That’s where it starts. In a family torn by dissension & argument - "Be kind & compassionate to one another…” In a business where the rule seems to be “dog eat dog” - "Be kind & compassionate to one another…”
In a nation where one race is pitted against another - "Be kind & compassionate to one another…” In a world torn apart by deep & long-standing hatreds that never seem to end - "Be kind & compassionate to one another…”
We long for peace, real peace, lasting peace. But I’m convinced that there will be no such peace, as long as the Prince of Peace is ignored or unknown.
III. FORGIVE EACH OTHER
Listen again to Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
The third item in Paul’s survival message is to forgive each other, & I believe he had a reason for putting this last, because I don't think we can really forgive somebody until we have learned to be kind & compassionate toward them.
ILL. The wife of a Zulu chief happened to attend a meeting of Christians & heard for the very first time in her life about Jesus.
The message of a God who loves us & forgives our sins was something new & wonderful for her to consider. She had never heard of such a God before. And it wasn’t long until she became a Christian, too.
When her husband learned of this he angrily forbade her, on pain of death, ever to attend a Christian meeting again. However, eager to hear more about Jesus, she dared to go, & when her husband found out what she had done he met her on the trail & beat her so savagely that he left her for dead.
But it wasn’t long until curiosity got the better of him & he went back to look for her. She was not on the trail where he had left her. But he did see broken twigs & other signs to indicate where she had crawled away. Following them he finally found her lying under a bush.
Cruelly, he asked, “And just what is your Jesus Christ doing for you now?” She opened her eyes, & looking at him, said gently, “He is helping me to forgive you!” (Adapted from David Yarbrough – SC)
Paul said, "Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you"
CONCL. I wonder if we can behave like that today? I wonder this morning if you need the kindness of God, if you need to feel His tender touch?
He understands you. He knows what you think. He knows your worries, your concerns, your disappointments, your joys. And He is anxious to forgive you & forget your sins.
INVITATION
We offer His invitation because we know God is waiting for you to respond to His love. Will you come now as we stand & as we sing?
