Why It is Important to Learn to Cope With Imperfections - 2 Cor. 12:9,10
Quote:Don’t let the littleness in others bring out the
littleness in you.
The following types of people have a difficult time coping because of their inability to cope with imperfections of various types.
1. Perfectionism - Perfectionists have a hard time coping with anything less than perfection in themselves, in others or their circumstances. We all know people who insist that nearly everything must be without flaws or it is unacceptable. God’s grace allows us to realize that He accepts us as less than perfect and so we should be so gracious in overcoming any perfectionistic tendency in ourself, others or our situation.
Quote:To belittle is to be little.
2. Idealists - Idealists struggle to see the bad in any situation as they tend to see everything through rose colored glasses. Some men can only see how beautiful their girlfriend is only to be shocked by all of the flaws that are slightly below the surface after time passes. God’s grace gives us the ability to see people with a touch of reality so that we recognize we are all sinners in need of God’s grace to be found acceptable, useful and dignified.
3. Holy Rollers - Some people refuse to tolerate anything less than holiness, purity and total sanctification in others. Pharisaical people refuse to accept the fact that some people are yet to be complete mature in Christ. God’s grace helps us accept people just as Jesus accepts us for the glory of the Lord. (Rom. 15:7)
4. god complex people - Some people have an inability to tolerate any form of human weakness. These people have a god-like complex that refuses to have to deal with peoples’ vulnerability, inefficiencies or ineffectiveness of any kind. God’s grace helps us learn that just as the Lord tolerates our weaknesses so we should cope with others vulnerabilities as God has allowed these weaknesses in some people to teach them greater dependence upon Him.
Quote:God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Submit yourselves, then to God. Resist the deil and he will flee from you. (James 4:6,7)
5. Avoider of negatives - Some people refuse to deal with any negative emotions because they have been hurt in the past. By moving away from any negative feelings these individuals try to shut themselves off from fears, anger or sadness of any type. Disappointments, discouragements or unrequited love is something they refuse to deal with. God’s grace helps us work through these negative emotions so we can appreciate how pain refines us more in to Christ’s image of what He wants us to become. People who are dependent upon God’s grace are more sensitive to the needs of others.
6. Depressed people - These individuals have such wild swings of their moods that the no longer can process sadness or anger without feeling overly burdened down by the weight of their emotions. Moody people are sometimes failing to appropriate how God’s grace is sufficient for the good times and the rough times. Let the grace of God remind you how He is with us even when we are walking through the dark valleys and shadows of death.
Quote:Remember, even when there are shadows it means that there is light just over the next hill.
7. Self-Image Problem People - These individuals have a hard time bringing the less than ideal parts of themselves into relationship with others and experience acceptance. As a result of the fear of being rejected, hurt or criticized for a perceived deficiency, these folks struggle to love themselves the way God has made them.
Quote: Paul wrote, "I can do everything God asks me to do with the help of Christ who gives me the strength, power and identity to accomplish His will." (Phil. 4:13)
8. People who are plagued with anxiety - These folks alow negatives to overwhelm them to a point where they react out of fear rather than by faith. When people are afraid of what others will think when some of their weaknesses are shown, they panic.
Quote: Paul wrote, "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore, judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes." (I Cor. 4:3-5)
9. Narcissists - These individuals have an excessive self-interest in their own appearance, comfort and importance. Narcissists have a complete preoccupation with their own idealized image of themselves. Admiration from others is so important that they often fear men more than they fear God.
Quote: Paul wrote, "Am I now trying to win the approval of me, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men. I would not be a servant of Christ." (Gal. 1:10)
10. Guilty People - These individuals struggle to admit their faults, weaknesses or mistakes. As a result they fail to overcome their critical conscience and they do not reach a point of feeling like they "Have no condemnation now that they are in Christ Jesus." (Rom. 8:1) Since they are preoccupied with feelings of their own goodness, accomplishments or deficiency they are always compensating instead of drawing of the love of God to make them whole.
Quote: Paul wrote,"In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." (Gal. 1:12) "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9)
11. Sexually Addicted People - These individuals use sex to compulsively cover over their unprocessed pain or faulty ideals. They try to use sex as a way of relieving their pain, problem or unrealized desires.
Quote:Love not the world, or the things in the world, for all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." (I John 2:15-17)
12. Broken Relationships - These individuals have gone through a number of broken relationships with people, jobs or family members. Whenever negative aspects come up these folks tend to break off relationships for fear of being hurt. They individuals cannot cope with good and bad in relationships as they tend to see all good or all bad.
Quote: Paul wrote, "I have learned to be content in all situations, with the good and the bad, with abundance and with little. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:12,13)
13. Excessive Rage - Many people in our society struggle to control their anger. They tend to have a low threshold of frustration. Whenever bad things happen they tend to not have the ability to draw upon the goodness of the Lord, His word or His Spirit to replace a negative thought with a positive one. They fail to infuse love to temper their anger because they are operating more out of the flesh than the Spirit.
Quote: Paul wrote, "Put away anger, jealousy , wrath and clamor and Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Forgiving one another just as Christ has forgiven you for the glory of God." (Eph. 4:22-32)
14. All Bad Me - These individuals have a hard time seeing any good, positive or worthwhile in themselves. Many Americans struggle with depression because they fail to appropriate the good gifts, abilities and resources they have in Christ.
Quote: Paul wrote,"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!(Rom 7:24,25)
15. All Good Me - These individuals tend to be defensive about taking responsibility for any fault. They may reluctantly admit to being sinners just like everyone but are unwilling to admit to their own personal sins of commission, omission, wrong dispositions or faulty assumptions.
Conclusion:John wrote,"For whatever is born of God is victorious over the world, and this is the victory that conquers the world, even our faith. Who is it that is victorious and conquers the world but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God (who adheres to, trusts in and relies on that fact). (I John 5:4,5)
The best way to overcome and cope with imperfections in others and ourselves is to who say like Paul, "Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him who loved us." (Rom. 8:37) Appropriate the love of Christ in you by His love help you cope, overcome and utilize imperfections to bring you to more filled up with the love of God that copes with trillions of imperfections everyday. Lord grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference and the love to cope with all imperfections for your greater purposes, glory and kingdom’s sake. Amen!
Illustration:Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.
Alexander Maclaren
Know that the kindness of God leads you to repentance. (Rom. 2:4)
Concluding Illustration:Joe is a 68 year-old former Marine with a peg leg, who shows up each morning at the local swimming pool to work out. Years ago during training maneuvers the wind blew his parachute into high-tension wires. As thousands of volts coursed through his body, his leg was burned off and a significant portion of his flesh sustained severe burns. Clinically, Joe died, but the crash to the ground revived his heart and somehow he survived!
From all appearances, Joe has made peace with his peg leg, as he hobbles from place to place, swims, and generally gets on with his life.
Perhaps Joe’s experience illustrates the paradox of the Christian’s earthly pilgrimage: We live with pain and imperfection. Yet we learn to get on with our lives.
The Psalmist wrestled with life’s peg leg - our pain and imperfections - when he cried out: How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? (Psa. 13:1,2)
Yet amidst his anguish, he tasted faith and joy: I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me. (Psa. 13:5,6)
The reality is that even with Christ, we will live life with a peg leg, so to speak, in our: Struggle to gain victory over sin: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Rom. 7:15,18b,24,25a) Striving for
triumph surrounded as we are by crushing pressure: We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor. 4:8,9)
Could it be that our biggest problem with discontentment or disillusionment is that we want - even demand Utopia with Christ while on this earth? And could it be that God allows imperfection, pain, and struggles into our lives - a peg leg if you please - to teach us the uncommon traits of patience and contentment?
It is comforting to know that Christ assures us of His conquering power and inner peace amidst life’s afflictions: In Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (Jn. 16:33b)
QUESTION: With His help, are you "Marine" enough to choose to live graciously with your "peg leg?"
Note:The above guidelines were distilled from Dr. Henry Cloud’s outstanding book Changes That Heal, Zondervan, pages 242-246,
