Standing in the Gap
The Ministry of Mediation (Reconcilliation)
Have you ever found yourself “standing in the gap”?
No, not the store. A different gap – one that separates two believers.
Two Christians (relatives, friends, co-workers, or maybe even co-laborers in Christ) who have set themselves up against one another. So much so that there is a continental divide between the two. They are estranged.
Estranged? Mutual enmity or indifference in where there had formerly been love, affection - fellowship
And you find yourself in the middle of the two // standing in the gap.
What do you do? What can you do to be a bridge so that both can cross, meet in the middle and reconcile?
What we are talking about is what I would call “the ministry of mediation”
· Intervening between two hostile parties in order to reconcile them.
· “Injecting godly counsel into a diseased relationship in order to bring about healthy biblical restoration
It’s not just a job for elders, pastors or counselors ONLY– it’s a job that we can all do if we are born again.
2 Cor 5 – Ministry of Roncilliation
The Apostle Paul found himself in this gap (review)
REVIEW:
A. The Background (v.1-3)
1. Writer (v.1)
2. Recipient (v.1-2)
3. Reason (v.10, 17)
B. Insight Into a Forgiver’s Heart (v.4-7) (Philemon)
1. A faith in Jesus Christ
1. An unconditional love toward others
3. A demonstrable fellowship
4. A refreshment for others
III. Standing in the Gap (the ministry of mediation)
In Philemon 8-16, Paul demonstrates four principals of biblical mediation so that you can be equipped to reconcile two estranged believers
A. Appeal out of Love (v.8-9)
B. Acknowledge the Positive Changes (v.10-11)
C. Advocate Reconciliation (v.12-14)
D. Affirm the Sovereignty of God (v. 15-16)
1. APPEAL OUT OF LOVE (8-9)
(v .8-9)“Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you – since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ –
The first principle in being a mediator is to make an appeal out of love. Paul begins by writing,
“Therefore…”
Looks back at v. 4-7
· Describe
· The theme that flows though those verses is a forgivers heat born out of the love.
· Keep that in mind…
“…though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper,”
Paul had confidence (parrhsi]an)
· Lit. “freedom of all speech”
· Used originally in the sphere of politics to signify the democratic right of a full citizen of a Greek city-state to speak one’s own opinions.
· It was frank, honest, direct – held nothing back
But Paul’s confidence (his direct, hold nothing back, speech) in this verse, is described in three ways:
a. In terms of sufficiency – enough
o Could also be translated much, great, enough
o In other words his confidence was sufficient
o Paul was supremely confident
b. In terms of origin – in Christ
o Here was the source of Paul’s sufficient confidence
o It wasn’t in himself, but it was in Christ
c. In terms of application – to order you to do what is proper
o Paul was supremely confident by his commission from Christ command Philemon to do what was appropriate as a Christian. AND he had commanded people in the past
§ In the Epistle to the Philippians, when there was material need, the apostle did not hesitate to command them to supply that which was lacking
§ When the apostle saw a wrong doctrine, as he did in Corinth, he did not hesitate to issue commands concerning the separation of unbelievers from the assembly of believers
§ Where there was malpractice among the saints, the apostle did not hesitate to issue commands concerning setting these practices aright
o Authority was given to Paul by his appointment as an apostle and he was not lax in the administration of the responsibility that rested upon him
You get the sense that Paul is mustering his apostolic authority – he is unsheathing the massive sword of authoratative power; ready to come down on Philemon.
- “Philemon, by the power that Christ has given me as an apostle – you will obey me.
- And he would have every right to do that. Forgiveness was a matter of obedience.
- Paul had used that sword in the past…. but not here, not with Philemon, that wasn’t his preference.
(v. 9) “yet for love’s sake I rather appeal to you…”
Paul puts the sword away. Instead of commanding, he appeals
The principle behind the appeal (not command) was love; that which should govern Christians in their dealings and relations with each other. Two reasons he appealed out of love
1. Paul appealed out of love because Philemon had the L of God within him.
Further, the mention of love points directly back to Philemon’s love demonstrated in verses 4-7. Because Paul knows that Philemon is a Christian (had the love of God within him), and because he has displayed this godly, agape love in the past, Paul is able to make a plea for that type of love to be manifest toward Onesimus.
2. Paul appealed out of love because he wanted heart centered forgiveness
Paul appealed to Philemon because he desired Philemon to forgive, not out of stone-cold, mechanical obedience - but from his heart.
· Paul wanted the type of forgiveness that Jesus commanded us
· Matt 18:34 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from the heart
“…since I am such a person as Paul, the aged and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus”
Paul here adds some information about himself. Namely that he is advanced in years and in prison. I believe he does this to persuade Philemon to receive Onesimus by eliciting sympathy for Philemon
Aged
· He was now about 60 years old
· Paul looked a lot older than his years – all of the beatings, imprisonments, travel, persecution and the concern for all the churches had taken its toll on his exhausted body.
· It should have caused Philemon to respond with sympathy and love for this old warrior who had led him to Christ
A prisoner of Christ Jesus
· Paul, suffering and incarcerated in a Roman prison for Jesus Christ has a simple request from Philemon
· How could Philemon deny this request from one whom has done so much for him and suffered so much for Christ?
So Paul could have commanded Philemon to forgive – but that was not his first option. He would rather appeal out of love.
When you find yourself in a mediatory role (caught between two believer who are at odds with one another) the first option is to make an appeal to each
· The love of God in your hearts
· Demonstrated in the past
· Time to apply that love toward one another and forgive “from the heart”
2. ACKNOWLEDGE THE POSITIVE CHANGES (V. 10-11)
“I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment, who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me.”
After Paul appeals on behalf of Onesimus again, he makes an interesting statement about he relationship with Onesimus. Paul says regarding Onesimus
“…my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment…”
Begotten
· Whom I have given birth to…
· To understand the birth that Onesimus had experienced we have to go back to John 3:3-7
· What did he mean by water and Spirit
o OT – Ezekiel 36:24-27
o NT – Titus 3:5 “He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to his mercy – by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit.
· So what did Paul mean? He meant the Onesimus had a radical change in his life – he had experience the new birth and now was a new person. (2 Cor. 5:17).
o He had a new appetite for godliness
o He had a new desire to serve Christ
o He became useful to Paul in ministry.
(v.11) “…who was formerly useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me.”
At one time Onesimus was useless
· it could be that he was an ineffective worker (lazy)
· it could be that after he ran away, Philemon could not get any use out of him at all
· Paul meant that Onesimus wasn’t useful to Philemon in regards to Christian service and ministry (because he wasn’t a believer)
· Regardless, at one time Onesimus was as useful as a screen door on a submarine
But now Onesimus returns useful both to Philemon and Paul
· Philemon
o Man of God, submissive to his Word. No doubt Paul would have given Philemon the same instruction of that he gave in the letter to the Colossians:
o Col. 3:22 “Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, noth with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men… It is the Lord whom you serve.
· Onesimus had already proves useful to Paul
o Philemon 13
o Colossians 4:7-9 (Philemon is a messenger for Paul. Serving in ministry)
Here was a changed man. Paul saw in him the potential to do great things for the Kingdom of God. He acknowledged the positive changes in Onesimus’ life.
After all, Onesimus’ name meant = “useful”
In a broken relationship, it is easy to focus on all the faults and wrongdoings of the past. The challenge is getting the two parties to see that both are not only image bearers of God, but called by God to serve Him and serve one another. If we are truly in Christ, there has been some significant things that God has done with our life in the process of sanctification.
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Each of us, no matter what the past shortcomings have been, has enormous potential to do great things for the King.
There was a man who lived in a totalitarian nation. He hated the Church. He did everything in his power to destroy it. He would find local churches meeting in secret and turn them in. He sought church leaders and tried to have them arrested or even killed. The Church began to pray to God to take this man out of the way. One day the man was traveling to another city and as he walked down the road suddenly he was knocked to the ground. He had a vision of the Holy God and he was changed. The local church couldn’t believe it. They doubted his conversion. One man reached out to him and believed in him. Through that one man’s forgiveness and encouragement, Saul of Tarsus became Paul of the New Testament
While standing in the gap between two estranged believers, not only are we to make appeal out of love, help the two sides acknowledge the positive changes in each other, but also advocate reconciliation.
3. ADVOCATE RECONCILIATION (V. 12-14)
“I have sent him back to you in person, that is, sending my very heart, whom I wished to keep with me, so that on your behalf he might minister to me in my imprisonment for the gospel; but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but out of your own free will.”
Paul had a difficult time sending Onesimus back to his master; and he gives two reasons why he wished to keep Onesimus with him:
1.) Paul and Onesimus were close
2.) Onesimus was helpful to Paul in ministry
1. Paul and Onesimus’ Close Relationship (v. 12)
· “my child” (v.10)
· “I have begotten” (v.10)
· “whom I wished to keep with me” (v.13)
· “a beloved brother, especially to me” (v. 16)
· “accept him as you would me” (v.17)
That thought is picked here very clearly when Paul writes…
“I have sent him back to you in person, that is sending my very heart”
Sending Onesimus back was to his master was like sending Paul’s very heart.
· spla[gcna
· Literally “the inward parts” – heart, lungs, liver, spleen and kidneys (v. 7)
· Core of who you are, your deepest feelings – that is why the translators went with “heart”
· Paul’s feelings ran deep for Onesimus – he was very much attached. Onesimus was Paul’s very heart.
So was it any wonder that it was Paul’s personal preference to retain Onesimus by his side. But not only was Onesimus dear to Paul’s heart, he was useful in ministry-
2. Onesimus was Useful to Paul in Ministry (v. 13-14)
(v.13) “whom I wished to keep with me…”
Paul’s desire was for Onesimus to stay by his side while in prison - but why?
“…so that on your behalf he might minister to me in my imprisonment for the gospel;”
Paul knew Philemon would have loved to be there in Rome; in person to minister to him while Paul was in chains. And for certain reasons, Philemon could not be there with Paul. But, Paul’s point here is that having Onesimus there in Philemon’s place was the next best thing.
“he ministered…”
· diakenew
· deacon – that is was a deacon does – he serves
· Onesimus was effective at that
(v. 14) “…but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but of your own free will.”
What is he saying here?
Paul did not want to presume on his friendship with Philemon. He didn’t want retain Onesimus without having Philemon in on the discussion.
Further, Paul wanted Philemon to be in on the decision making process. He didn’t want to force Philemon to do anything.
Paul could have said “Philemon, Onesimus is close to me and very helpful – I am retaining him for service – I know you will understand”. “Deal with it:
Instead, Paul puts the decision in Philemon’s hands. Paul has presented a convincing case why Onesimus should return to Paul to serve him, but it is going to be up to Philemon free will to choose – not under apostolic compulsion.
Now, with that explanation in hand, we need to ask the question – what was the overriding reason for sending Onesimus back? After all, he had a lot of good reasons to keep Onesimus by his side:
a. They were close
b. Onesimus was serving Paul and effective in ministry
c. Paul had the apostolic right keep Onesimus with him – although clearly, he wanted Philemon’s consent
d. Paul, had legal rights to keep Onesimus
Roman Law Regarding Fugitive Slaves:
In the eastern part of the Roman Empire during this period, fugitive slaves who sought sanctuary in a household were likely to be given temporary protection by the household until reconciliation with the master had been effected or else the slave had been put up for sale in the marked and the resulting price paid to the owner
Jewish Law Regarding Fugitive Slaves
Deuteronomy 23:15,16 “You shall not hand over to his master a slave who has escaped from his master to you. He shall live with you in your midst, in the palace which he shall choose in one of your towns where it pleases him; you shall not mistreat him.”
Those are all good reasons to keep the two separate. But one overriding reason caused Paul to send him back. That reason is this – Paul as a mediator is advocating reconciliation!
That’s what we are about right? Reconciliation; restoring broken relationships!
· 2 Cor. 5:18-20 (vertical reconciliation)
· Matthew 5:23-24 (horizontal reconciliation)
Like Paul, you may have a lot of good reasons not to be brought face to face with an estranged believer.
· things are a lot smoother in my life
· I’m more effective in serving Christ without this guy hanging around
·
A good mediator, like Paul will advocate, even if it costs him personally, reconciliation.
Standing in the gap – appeal out of love, acknowledge the changes, advocate reconciliation and finally
4. AFFIRM THE PROVIDENCE OF GOD (V. 15-16)
perhaps
There is a hint of facetiousness here
He has been separated from you for this reason
What reason?
That you would have him back forever
For all eternity Philemon and Onesimus would be brothers in Christ.
Do you mean to tell me that Onesimus stole and fled from Philemon in order for Onesimus to come to Christ? Exactly.
· What did Joseph say to his brothers after they had sold him into slavery and Joseph rose to power Egypt? “You intended it for evil, but God intended it for _________”
Do you mean to tell me that the reason my wife left me with my children was for me to come to know Jesus Christ? Exactly.
Nothing happens that God does not intend to. As he is sovereign and omnipotent – God indeed does cause all things to work together for the good of those who love Him.
It may look bad, it may be uncomfortable, you may have been deeply hurt – but God’s providence is in that situation. It happened for a reason.
Philemon would have Onesimus back now
“no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but oh – how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”
This is not a request for emancipation.
· It simply applies to what is said about the relationships between Christian masters and Christian slaves.
· (1 Cor. 7:21-23) “Were you called as a slave? Do not worry about that… for he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman.
When Onesimus left – he was an unbelieving fugitive theif. Upon his return, he is a believing, reconciled brother in Christ.
What a great story! All brought about by the providence of God.
A mediator will be adamant about affirming the providence of God, even in the most difficult of circumstances.
