INSIGHT INTO A FORGIVER’S HEART
(Philemon 4-7)
I. Introduction
A few years ago I was deeply hurt by a fellow believer (Bob)
· I was slandered
· Lied to
· Eventually lost my job largely due to this one man.
For 6 months after the event, the effects of the intensity of that situation would linger
· I would have frequent nightmares
· I would replay conversations I have with this man in my mind, thinking of what I could have said or should have said
· Every time his face or name was mentioned, my heart rate would increase and my stomach would churn
· Have you ever been there?
One day I found myself on a long car ride with my wife and two great friends. One of my friends asked me “Have you forgiven him?”
· Since Bob had never asked for my forgiveness and most likely never will – what my friend was really asking me was “Would I be willing to forgive Bob if he asked?”
· I thought about that question – “Am I ready to forgive?”
o I think so
o I guess I’ll never know for certain unless I see him again
o Now Bob lived half way across the country – the odds of me seeing him again were a million to 1.
5 months ago, I was checking into a LA Hotel when a familiar face passed me in the lobby
· my heart rate increased
· stomach churned
· only one person could have that affect on me – Bob
He didn’t see me. Or maybe he did, and continued past.
I could have done nothing and he would have walked out of the lobby; play the odds that we would never see each other again
But something compelled me to run after him. Tap him on the shoulder and as he turned. I said Bob, it’s great to see you and give him a hug.
That something that compelled me was the grace of God. And as we spoke with a smile on my face, I sincerely meant everything I said as aI wished him well.
He never asked for my forgiveness. But if he had, I know I would have in a heart beat extended him the forgiveness that he asked for.
Through that experience God taught me about the power of forgiveness – that a forgiving heart can heal 100x faster than a heart that takes into account wrong suffered.
Transition
- What about you (stories differ – common denominator is forigiveness)
If you don’t have something to forgive at present, you soon will. (back to Philemon)
C.S. Lewis once said “Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea, until he has something to forgive.”
Are you are ready to forgive when the time comes?
In Philemon 4-7, we want to examine 4 characteristics from the heart of a forgiver so that you and I will be ready and able to forgive when the time comes.
STAND AND READ PHILEMON 1-7
II. Review
A. Writer: Paul (writing from a Roman prison)
B. Recipient: Philemon (explain others who would read)
C. Reason: forgive Onesimus (explain)
Background:
Paul’s first comment to Philemon is one of thanksgiving. He wants to let Philemon know that he has thanked God on a continual basis by making mention of Philemon’s name in his prayers.
Thanksgiving in prayer was a common practice of Paul.
· Rom 8:8 “First, I thank my God though Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being proclaimed throughout the whole world”
· 1 Cor. 1:4 “I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus
· Phil. 1:3 “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all
· Col. 1:3 “We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you”
Paul found delight in praying continually for his flock. Philemon wan no exception. But the insight into a forgivers heart lies in what Paul was thankful for.
The first characteristic of a forgiver’s heart:
A. YOUR FAITH IS IN CHRIST (V. 5)
“…because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus…” (chiasmus)
Paul had a basis for his praying on behalf of Philemon. He tells of two things that encouraged him in his continued prayer for Philemon; first, “hearing of the faith”
Paul was continually hearing of Philemon’s faith in Jesus Christ.
· Akouwn – Present tense – indicates a continual action. It could have been that Paul was receiving up to date information about Philemon from more than one source, or that he was getting regular reports about how Philemon was progressing in his faith.
· Paul had a vested interest in Philemon. Remember that Philemon had come to Christ under Paul’s ministry (v.19) most likely in Ephesus, two years prior to this letter.
The fact that Philemon was a Christian was important.
· He trusted Jesus Christ to forgive his sin, so that he can be reconciled to God
· Therefore, Philemon’s ability to forgive stemed from the forgiveness that he himself had received when he placed his faith in Christ.
It’s quite logical when you think about it
· GOD Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.” (God is omniscient – he can’t forget. What he means is that he will not remember them against us anymore.)
· WE ARE TO Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
· Can we who have been forgiven so much not forgive the relatively small things done against us? We of all people should always be eager to forgive.
· Turn to Matthew 18:21-35
A seminary student at Trinity Evangelical Seminary in Chicago preferred to work in some kind of ministry during his course of study but the only job he could find was driving a bus on Chicago’s south side. One day a gang of tough teens got on board and refused to pay the fare. After a few days of this, the seminarian spotted a policeman on the corner, stopped the bus, and reported them. The officer boarded the bus and made them pay, but then he got off. When the bus rounded a corner, the gang robbed the seminarian and beat him severely. He pressed charges and the gang was rounded up. They were found guilty. But as soon as the jail sentence was given, the young Christian saw their spiritual need and felt pity for them. So he asked the judge if he could serve their sentences for them. The gang members and the judge were dumbfounded. “Because Christ has forgiven me, I forgive you,” he explained. His request was denied, but he visited the young men in jail and led several of them to faith in Christ
Martin Lloyd Jones once said “I say to the glory of God and in utter humility that whenever I see myself before God and realize even something of what my blessed Lord has done for me, I am ready to forgive anybody and anything”
Philemon’s ability to forgive stemmed from the forgiveness that he himself had personally received from Jesus Christ.
B. YOUR LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL TOWARD OTHER BELIEVERS (V. 5)
“…because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints.”
The second characteristic of Philemon that caused the Apostle to thank God was Philemon’s continual love toward all the saints.
Paul could have used a number of Greek words here for love
1. filew – to love or regard with affection.
a. It is an attraction of people to one another who are close together both inside and outside the family
b. it includes concern, care and hospitality
2. stergw – to love and feel affection, especially of the mutual love of parents and children
Hospitality, concern, even the love between a mother or father and their children – those two words wouldn’t do. Philemon demonstrated a stronger love – a love that could only come from outside himself; The love of Christ in Him.
3. agaph – to love by will or by choice, of self sacrifice and humility. Unconditional.
JI Packer writes: “Agape draws its meaning directly from the revelation of God in Christ. It is not a form of natural affection, however intense; but a supernatural fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). It is a matter of will rather than feeling (for Christians must love even those they dislike—Matt. 5:44-48 – “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”). It is the basic element in Christ likeness.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love Is Patient - We must not make impatient demands but allow people to grow at their own pace
Love Is Kind - We must be gentle and sensitive to the needs of others
Love Is Not Jealous – A concern for others best, despite my own circumstances
Love Does Not Brag and Is Not Arrogant – Selflessness, no time for self-exaltation
Love Does Not Act Unbecomingly
Love Does Not Seek Its Own – It’s not about me and my feelings. It’s about God’s glory and another sanctification
Love Is Not Provoked – A hostile situation is when a Christian’s love is most gloriously displayed
Love Does Not Take Into Account a Wrong Suffered – there are no lists.
Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.” Can we not do the same
Love Rejoices With the Truth – primary concern is being obedient to the Word of God
Love Bears and Believes All Things – There is no limit to our forgiveness, because our love bears all things. We must expect the best in people, even if they continually fail us. Just like Christ sees us.
Love Hopes All Things
Love Endures All Things – Any situation, no matter how long or difficult, a Christian’s love can endure
With this type of supernatural love that we have, there can be no room for unforgiveness.
Practically - you are so focused on Christ and in addition to Christ the spiritual growth of others – you have no time to think about yourself.
· My rights have been violated
· My pride has been tarnished
I want to be like Christ. If you have the capacity to forgive the sins of the world, certainly I have the capacity to forgive this one who has hurt me - Because the same love that you have abides in me.
Paul heard of Philemon’s agape love – not just for a select few, but for all the saints.
· Regardless of who they were or what they’ve done
· His love was not based on conditions that need to be met. It was free and unlimited
· And it was extended even to a thief and a runaway slave
C. YOUR FELLOWSHIP IS DEMONSTRABLE (V. 6) [capable of being demonstrated, evident, apparent]
“…and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake”
Fellowship
koinonia communion, fellowship, participation, sharing
For some people when they hear the word “fellowship” their first thought is eating Crispy Cream donuts and drinking coffee.
More than just a club, or a group of people gathered together in one place. The idea of an earthly society grounded in human nature is foreign to Paul. For Paul koinonia refers strictly to the relationship of faith to Christ.
· “the fellowship of his Son (1 Cor. 1:9)
· “the fellowship of the Holy Spirit (2 Cor. 13:13)
· “fellowship in the gospel” (Phil 1:5)
· “the right hand of fellowship” (Gal 2:9)
o given to Paul and Barnabas by James was more than a hand shake closing a deal. But a mutual recognition of being in Christ.
Taken in context then fellowship refers to the mutual sharing of life in Christ.
The fellowship of your faith
“Of your faith” indicates the origin of Philemon’s fellowship. In other words, his fellowship with others (mutual sharing of life in Christ) sprung forth from Philemon’s personal faith in Jesus Christ.
Before I was a Christian
I had friends in High School that were believers. Although we were friends, there was something separating us. I did not have fellowship with them like they had with each other. That’s because I did not possess the basis for that fellowship –life in Christ.
(1 John 1:3-4) Apostle John indicates to the churches in Asia Minor that fellowship with Him was contingent upon fellowship with Christ
may become effective
Paul prays and expects that Philemon’s fellowship with other believers may be effective.
· Literally here may become powerful
Philemon’s concern for fellowship was to be a powerful demonstration to the Colossian church. As Onesimus returns now as a believer, they have fellowship with one another; that fellowship was going to be upheld through Onesimus’ request of forgiveness and Philemon’s response in granting forgiveness.
Fellowship was the utmost concern for Philemon. Onesimus was a believer and thus now entered into that fellowship with Philemon and the rest of the church.
· Denying Onesimus’ request was not an option.
· For a true believer in Jesus Christ, denying forgiveness is an impossibility (Matt 18:34 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from the heat”)
When you are demonstrating a concern for fellowship with other Christians, there is no room for unforgiveness. Because fellowship, by its’ definition is the coming together and mutual sharing of Christ likeness.
Through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake
Simply put, Philemon’s concern for demonstrating fellowship and reconciliation was based upon the knowledge of the truth that he had been taught.
Philemon had not only learned of the command to forgive, but he had also experienced it himself when he came to Christ. The ability to forgive was inside of him because the Holy Spirit was inside of him.
Maintaining and demonstrating fellowship with other believers is at the core of a forgiving heart. (2x)
Philemon was going to be a powerful example to his wife (Apphia), his son (Archippus) and those in the church as his concern for fellowship drove him to forgive Onesimus.
D. Your Presence Brings Refreshment to Others (v. 7)
“For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.”
Paul, rotting in a Roman prison experienced much delight and comfort in Philemon’s love.
But the reason for Paul’s joy and comfort come from the knowledge that Philemon was a blessing to others.
Because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.
Hearts of the saints
· Literally “the inward parts” – heart, lungs, liver, spleen and kidneys
· Paul uses this word to refer to the core of a man. The most inward parts.
· In Philemon, (v.7, 12, 20)
Have been refreshed by you, brother.
1. to take one’s rest from bodily activity
a. military term that speaks of an army rest
b. intermission at a play
2. to refresh by giving comfort or compensation
Many of you are going away to be on vacation to get some rest and relaxation. When you are there on that beach – think about how you feel. Now that is the effect we are to have on other believers.
The refreshment that we receive when we come before Christ should be the similar to the refreshmen others receive when they are in our presence
Matt 11:28 “Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yolk upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest of your souls
Jesus says that by coming to him and laying our burdens upon him, he will take those burdens and give us rest.
Philemon was a man who hosted the Colossian church in his home, had tremendous faith in Christ, unconditionally loved the believers in his church and was continually demonstrating fellowship in the local assembly.
Is it any wonder that he was a refreshment to be around? Don’t you find refreshment around people like that?
WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU THIS MORNING?
DO YOU POSSESS A FORGIVER”S HEART LIKE PHIL?
Is your…
Your faith is in Christ?
Your love unconditional toward others?
Your fellowship demonstrable?
Your presence a spiritual refreshment to others?
That was Philemon – he had the heart of a forgiver.
C.S. Lewis said “Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea, until he has something to forgive.”
I pray that we see forgiveness as a lovely idea especially when we have something to forgive.
As you take on these characteristics, demonstrated by Philemon, I am confident that when the time comes, you will, as Jesus told us, “I forgive you from the heart
