The Fear Factor
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Fear Factor
Fear is one of the primary weapons of the enemy. This has turned out to be a lot tougher series of messages to bring than I thought it would be.
There is an oppressive burden whenever I have preached or taught on the enemy. Fear is one of the primary tools of Satan and the burden has been present. Please keep me in your prayers as we continue this series the next couple of weeks.
Fear is a terrible thing!!! Especially the fear of loneliness. Loneliness is a terrible burden to carry.
Show Tom Hanks in the Castaway clip on the ocean as "Wilson" floats away.
It seems crazy but he really cried over a volley ball.
Why? Because he needed to be with people.
The Fear of Loneliness
Max Lucado records this Mini-Biography. The epitaph did not give the dates of her birth or death. It included only her name, the names of her two husbands:
Sleeps, but rests not.
Loved, but was loved not.
Tried to please, but pleased not.
Died as she lived -- alone.
She is not particularly unique!
Sting, a singer and musician?? Wrote, "Seems I not alone at being alone. Hundred million castaways searching for a home."
Facing Loneliness
You and I were created for community. You were created for community. We need other people in our lives.
Gen 2:18-19 CEV The LORD God said, "It isn’t good for the man to live alone. I need to make a suitable partner for him."
Gen 2:19 So the LORD took some soil and made animals and birds. He brought them to the man to see what names he would give each of them. Then the man named the tame animals and the birds and the wild animals. That’s how they got their names. None of these was the right kind of partner for the man.
None was good enough for man. And aren’t we glad!
Yet, 54 % would pick an animal over a people to live with as a companion if stranded on a desert island! (According to the American Animal Hospital, cited in American Demographics (7/96))
God gave us Marriage. It is a gift designed to give us a taste of heaven! Ephesians 5:21 talks about marriage as a picture of the kind of relationship that God wants to have with every one of us.
How? Through the church!
The Church is the community you need. I’m sold out on church! The church is the bride of Jesus. He died for her and she is absolutely beaurtiful.
There was a time when I was in Bible College that my generation viewed the church as an institution rather than an organism. (That’s ORGANISM not ORGANIZATION. One is alive and the other is a collection of information.) Many in my generation rejected the church because it was to them a collection of rules and traditions.
Let me say this as nicely as I can. They were wrong then and those who reject the church today as irrelevant, tired, or useless are wrong now.
Jesus gave everything for the church. He’s sold out on the church and He wants you to be sold out on His church too!
It is the community of believers, those who have been called from a life in the world and of the world.
There is nothing in the world as good as CHURCH!
Here is where you will find real community!
The Five Characteristics of a Real Community
Affinity
Affinity means that you have something in common.
Amos 3:3 (NLT)
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?
You’ve got to start with affinity. Does this mean you’ll never disagree and will always see eye to eye? Of course not. But you will have large areas of commonality. This is why the church makes one of the best places to build enduring friendships. As we cross the line of faith and become members and grow spiritually we develop a unity. There’s a common sense of purpose and mission and vision. If you’re a person of faith begin looking for building friendships with like-minded individuals.
Acceptance
"A friend loves at all times"
Pro 17:17 CEV
A friend is always a friend, and relatives are born to share our troubles. Without this ingredient you’ll never go deeper in your relationships than acquaintance level.
The Bible tells us this about true friendships:
Babe Ruth: One of the all-time greats in baseball was Babe Ruth. His bat had the power of a cannon, and his record of 714 home runs remained unbroken until Hank Aaron came along. The Babe was the idol of sports fans, but in time age took its toll, and his popularity began to wane. Finally the Yankees traded him to the Braves. In one of his last games in Cincinnati, Babe Ruth began to falter. He struck out and made several misplays that allowed the Reds to score five runs in one inning. As the Babe walked toward the dugout, chin down and dejected, there rose from the stands an enormous storm of boos and catcalls. Some fans actually shook their fists. Then a wonderful thing happened. A little boy jumped over the railing, and with tears streaming down his cheeks he ran out to the great athlete. Unashamedly, he flung his arms around the Babe’s legs and held on tightly. Babe Ruth scooped him up, hugged him, and set him down again. Patting him gently on the head, he took his hand and the two of them walked off the field together.
Our Daily Bread, June 5
Can you remain a friend in the best and worst of times?
Can you love people warts and all? Or do you drop them like a hot potato when there’s a disagreement or a hurt? Deep relationships require that we accept those significant others even when they’re in a slump.
This doesn’t mean that you become a human doormat or that you affirm sin or anything like that. It means you accept the person no matter what and actively seek their healing and restoration. This is especially true of followers of Jesus Christ in their relationships.
"...if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you may also be tempted."
Galatians 6:1 (NIV)
We can accept others, even in their worst sin, if we remember that we are sinners too. Given the right circumstances we’re vulnerable to temptation. We’ve been forgiven and accepted by God and therefore return the favor to other people.
Authenticity
Authenticity means that you’re real. You are honest about who you are and how you feel. Perhaps we can understand it better if we look at an inauthentic person.
In Becoming a Contagious Christian, Bill Hybels and Mark Mittelberg tell this story:
A newly promoted colonel had moved into a makeshift office during the Gulf War. He was just getting unpacked when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a private with a toolbox coming his way.
Wanting to seem important, he grabbed the phone: "Yes, General Schwartzkopf. Of course, I think that’s an excellent plan." He continued: "You’ve got my support on it. Thanks for checking with me. Let’s touch base again soon, Norm. Goodbye."
"And what can I do for you?" he asked the private.
"Uhhh, I’m just here to hook up your phone."
If we’re all about making good impressions and keeping up appearances we’ll never go deep in our relationships.
Why do we put up the fronts? Even Jesus, the Son of God, admitted to his closest friends when he was in need. The night before his execution, knowing what was about to take place, Jesus revealed his feeling to his friends.
He took Peter and …James and John, and he began to be filled with anguish and deep distress. He told them, "My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death." Matthew 26:37-38 (NLT)
Jesus was real. He admitted his fears and expressed his emotions and he reached out for his friends. To experience enduring relationships we’ve got to be real with one another. Not only is authenticity essential for friendships it’s apparently the path to wholeness.
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
James 5:16 (NLT)
Now this is really scary and risky. You could be rejected and hurt. They might talk about you instead of talking to you.
Assistance
Friends???
In November of 1992, Donald DeGreve, 65, suffered a fatal heart attack while playing golf in Winter Haven, Fla. As his body lay on the 16th green, covered with a sheet, and while course officials tried to contact his wife and funeral home personnel, a steady stream of DeGreve’s friends, playing in the Swiss Village Mobile Home Park league, passed from the 15th green to the 17th tee to continue their games. "Life goes on," said one man, "so we had to keep going."
How deep do imagine those relationships went? They were shallow because real friends put aside self-serving agenda and help where it’s needed. Here’s the attitude you must adopt to build enduring friendships.
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Romans 12:10 (NIV)
Really caring about one another costs effort and energy. It takes time and it takes risks.
"Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy."
Proverbs 27:6 (NLT)
"A true friend always stabs you in the front."
Oscar Wilde
"As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend."
Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)
Affirmation
To build enduring relationships you must also learn to affirm. Tell the other person how much they mean to you. Let them know by your words and actions that they are cherished.
"So encourage one another and build each other up..."
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)
Stu Weber, "Some One to Lean On" Focus on the Family Magazine (June 1996).
Writing in a recent issue of Focus on the Family magazine author Stu Weber illustrates the need for a Christian "buddy" to help us survive the tough times.
In 1967 a grizzled old noncom at Fort Benning, Ga. taught [the soul-buttressing impact of "mutual mentoring"] ... to a formation of ramrod-straight troops: "Never go into battle alone!"
The war in Vietnam was building to its peak, and one stop for young army officers was the U.S. Army Ranger School at Fort Benning. The venerable, steely-eyed veteran told us the next nine weeks would test out mettle as it had never been tested.
The sergeant said many wouldn’t make the grade--it was just too tough. (Turned out he was right. Of 287 in the formation that day, only 110 finished the nine weeks.)
I can still hear that raspy voice cutting through the morning humidity like a serrated blade. "We are here to save your lives," he preached. "We’re going to see to it that you overcome all your natural fears--especially of height and water. We’re going to show you just how much incredible stress the human mind and body can endure. And when we’re finished with you, you will be the U.S. Army’s best. You will not only survive in combat, you will accomplish your mission!"
Then, before he dismissed the formation, the hardened Ranger sergeant announced our first assignment. We’d steeled ourselves for something really tough -- running 10 miles in full battle gear or rappelling down a sheer cliff. So the noncoms first order caught us off guard.
He told us to find a buddy. Some of us would have preferred the cliff. "This is step one," he growled. "You need to find yourself a Ranger buddy. You will stick together. You will never leave each other. You will encourage each other, and, as necessary, you will carry each other.
It was the Army’s way of saying, "Difficult assignments require a friend. Together is better. You need someone to help you accomplish the tough course ahead."
We all need buddies to help us "take the hill." We cannot "do" life alone. That’s not the way God designed us. The question is, "Will we begin building those crucial relationships or keep playing it safe?"
There are many kinds of communities. Fraternal Organizations abound. Groups like Kiwanis; Lions; Jaycee’s; and the Masons. Even Fred Flintstone was part of the “Water Buffaloes”. There are many Local Clubs and Youth Gangs - all of which have community. Even prisons become communities
COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa (Sept. 19) - A lonely 76-year-old ex-convict demanded two $50 bills from a bank teller on Monday and then announced he would be outside in his car smoking a cigarette -- waiting to be returned to prison.
Police said Marvin Stewart walked into the People’s National Bank in this western Iowa city and handed a teller a note demanding the two $50 bills and no more.
Bank employees were not sure he was serious, but they gave him the money. As Stewart left the bank, he said he would be in his car, smoking a cigarette, which is where police found him.
Stewart said he robbed the bank because he had no family and wanted to go back to federal prison.
"It is a little odd," said Police Sgt. Ray Mabbitt.
Stewart, of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, may get his wish. Federal bank robbery charges could land him back in prison.
Prison is a poor substitute for real community! Youth Gangs are a poor substitute for real community as are local clubs like lions and rotary. Now some of these are good and some are not but there is nothing on earth like God’s community - the church!
The Church is the Real Thing
Let’s build this kind of community!
