Funeral Sermon For
Robert Lee Gray
28 June 2002
I would like to begin by expressing my appreciation to each of you for comeing to this memorial service today. Each of you by your words and/or your presence have demonstrated a critical virtue of humanity that we need to see expressed more in our fast pace society. That virtue is “Friendship”.
I did not know Robert, but words of remembrance spoken by those of you who knew him well speak highly of him as a person. By definition, a “Eulogy” is a “tribute or acclamation” to the character of the one gone on. A eulogy is obviously more appropriately given by those who knew the deceased best. And I thank you for your kind words.
My purpose in being here is to share with you from a Biblical and Spiritual perspective some thoughts that will hopefully bring comfort and closure to your hearts and minds in respects to the tragedy of Roberts’s untimely death. I did not come here to user him into heaven, nor to condemn him to hell. That is the job of the Judge of the Universe, and I assure you I am not He. I didn’t come to pronounce Robert a Saint or a Sinner. I didn’t know him, so it would be foolish of me to attempt to do so.
I heard about the death of a man who was the worse scoundrel in a particular community. In fact he was part of a scurrilous family, notorious for their wicked lives. The entire family had lived totally irreligious lives; been in and out of jail; were constantly involved in brawls, fights, and general mayhem; and were just rotten to the core. When this particular fellow died, his brothers searched in vain for a pastor willing to perform the funeral, until finally they offered a local minister $10,000 if he would officiate and somehow pronounce the deceased a “Saint”. Well, for $10,000 this pastor would just have to figure a way. So as he began his funeral message he said, “I want you to know that the man laying before us today was the worse man I’ve ever known. He regularly beat his wife and kids and cursed his neighbors. He was a drunkard and constantly stirred up trouble for everyone who knew him. He was a foulmouthed brawler who spurned God, the law and everything right. But compared to his brothers, He was a ‘Saint’.”
Well, today, I want try to compare Robert to any of you. Though from what I’ve heard about him, he’d probably look OK if I did.
What I want to do for a few minutes is try to help you answers some of the “Whys?” and the “What nows?”. For those who knew Robert well and loved and cared for him, the good memories will long be with you. There will no doubt be times years from now when something he said or did will bring a smile to your face, and you’ll think, “Thanks, Robert!” And nothing can take those memories from you.
Please allow me just a few minutes to ask some pertinent questions for a time like this and attempt to give you some answers.
First, maybe we should consider the question, “What is death?”.
Death is in reality a mere separation. It is separation of a person’s life from his body. At one moment, life fills the body; a moment later it is no longer there. Now I know that physiologically there are certain function of the various organs of the body that make this so, but in essence, when death comes, life goes.
The Bible speaks of three types of death.
1. Physical death – when the physical body no longer possesses the life given it by God. That is when we go to the morgue, pick out a casket, or cremate a body and hold a funeral service.
2. Spiritual death – when a person, because of sin and rebellion is separated from God. Such a person is very much alive physically, but spiritually there is no connection between him and the God who made him.
3. Eternal Death – When a person who is spiritually separated from God dies physically, he is then eternally separated from God.
So, Death is Separation. And that is what makes it so traumatic for us. Someone we love and care about is no longer with us.
The second question we will consider is, “How do people die?”.
Again, physiologically the heart ceases to pump blood and brain wave activity is interrupted for a sufficiently long enough period of time that irreparable damage is done. But that is a bit of a sterile summary.
We know that some people die of what is usually referred to as “natural causes”. Their once strong and healthy bodies over a period of time begin to deteriorate. They may slowly wither away due to age or disease. Or, they may be suddenly taken via a stroke or heart attack. I had a good Pastor friend about 70+ years of age who mowed his yard one Saturday, took a shower, ate supper, reviewed his sermon for the next day and went to bed. His wife joined him about 10 minutes later and he was dead. His heart failed, and he was gone.
Some folks die “unexpectedly”. My niece was 27 years old; married with a 1-year-old son. She put him to bed one night about 9 o’clock, but never returned to her own bedroom. When my nephew checked on her, she lay dead at the foot of her son’s bed. Not a sound, no previous warning of ill health. She just died, unexpectedly.
Some people die “accidentally”. Just a few hundred feet from here is a small cross on the median of El Camino Real marking the spot where a young man about 20 years of age lost control of his cat and hit a tree. Just around the corner from my home two years ago a teenage young man was riding his new motorcycle that he got for Christmas. He had logged 6 miles on the bike. He lost control, and lost his life. It shouldn’t have happened. But it did, it was a tragic accident.
Others die “violently”. Whether in an act of war, or terrorism, through gang violence, homicide, reckless driving, or at their own hands, violence claims too many of our people.
The problem is we usually don’t know how or when we are going to die. But we know we will.
The third question I’d like to ask is, “Why do people die?”.
In a sense this a tough question to answer. Who would attempt to offer a “rational explanation” for the sudden death of an infant; the ravaging of a body by cancer; the stupidity of a drunk driver plowing down the highway; or someone feeling so helpless and alone that they would take their own life?
I received an e-mail today that I felt was very pertinent to this particular occasion. Nothing we say or do will bring Robert back, but may this will help us understand why we are here, and how we may avoid this type of setting in the future.
Friends
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, " boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found him self during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I did and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.
"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. Thankfully, I was saved doing the unspeakable. I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw His Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions with one small gesture you can change a person’s life, for better or for worse. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. "Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
By: Brian J. Boone
While we certainly don’t have all the “Why” answers to the tragedy of death, the Bible does give an answer as to the “Why” of all death –SIN. Scripture declares, “The wages of sin is death” (Rom 6:23). (Rom 5:12) Sin came into the world through one man, and his sin brought death with it. As a result, death has spread to the whole human race because everyone has sinned. It is not that every death is the direct result of some specific sin, though some obviously are. But the Bible teaches that the sin principle in each of us ultimately results in death. That is why the Bible says, (Heb 9:27) … it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:…
One final question that I’d like to address with you is, “How can one be prepared for that inevitable appointment with death”?.
That is the Good New of the Christian Gospel. God loved you and me so much that He willing sent His only Son, Jesus, to this planet to provide a means of escape from the penalty of death. Not that we would escape the physical experience of death, but that we could be saved from death’s awful sting. Jesus accepted the deserved punishment of the sins of humanity and bore that penalty for us when He hung on the Cross. And now, as a result of His willing sacrifice, we can be made right with God.
It isn’t a matter of our decision to do better. Those decisions at a time like this are usually short lived.
It is not a matter of our decision to adopt some religious creed or participate in some religious ceremony. Most of our religious activity is little more that self-righteous attempts to make us feel better.
What it is is a matter of establishing a right relationship with God through faith in Christ. The Bible says, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Rom 10:13)
If in a simple act of faith you are willing to acknowledge your need of a Savior, and trust in the completed work of Jesus on your behalf, the Bible says that God will accept you, forgive you, and make you His own child.
Let’s close this moment with a prayer. And, let me give you and opportunity to make peace with God.
Heavenly Father, we are saddened by the tragedy that brings us to this place today. Those who knew and loved Robert are better today for having had the pleasure of his friendship. As we today commit him to You, we also take inventory of our own lives and come before You as needy people. We need Your strength, Your comfort, Your grace, and we need Your forgiveness.
Now – If you have never settled things with God in your own heart, but would like to do so now, may I invite you to pray with me the following prayer?
Lord Jesus, I need you. I am lost without You. I believe that You died and rose again so I could be made right with the Heavenly Father. I now ask You to come into my life and be my Savior and Lord. ……… Thank-You Lord Jesus for Your forgiveness and grace.
