The Fear Factor
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
TOP 14 FEARS OF AMERICANS
(before 9/11)
1) Public speaking
2) Heights
3) Insects and bugs
4) Financial problems
5) Deep water
6) Sickness
7) Death
9) Loneliness
8) Flying
10) Dogs
11) Driving/riding in a car
12) Darkness
13) Elevators
14) Escalators
Fear is not bad
Fear is a God Given Emotion that prepares your body and mind to deal with a challenge in life. There is nothing wrong with having fear in most instances. In fact, it can be a very health emotion to have. It can keep you alive. The adrenalin prepares your body to deal with the possible battle or flight from danger. With fear comes the ability to do far more than we ever dreamed because of the power of fear.
Four guys in a jeep on a jungle trail in Viet Nam
I was told several years ago about four guys in a jeep on a jungle trail in Viet Nam. All was well until they were suddenly under fire from Viet Cong all around them. Bullets were flying at them from every direction. The driver tried frantically to turn the jeep around rather than simply go in reverse. In the process the road was too narrow the shoulders too soft and the jeep was stuck.
The driver yelled for every to jump out and grab a corner of the jeep. They did so and physically lifted the jeep off the ground and turned around in the space of a few seconds. The task accomplished they jumped back into the jeep and drove out of harms way.
When they arrived back at the base camp – wide eyed and filled with a mixture of excitement and terror – they told their unbelieving buddies what had happened. When challenged as the veracity of their story they said, “We’ll show you.” And when they grabbed the four corners of the jeep they couldn’t lift it off the ground.
This is the power of fear.
But Fear uncontrolled is destructive
Dr. Walter Cannon, a pioneer researcher in psychosomatic medicine at Harvard Univ., describes what happens to the human body when it becomes angry or fearful: "Respiration deepens; the heart beats more rapidly; the arterial pressure rises; the blood is shifted from the stomach and intestines to the heart, central nervous system, and the muscles; the processes of the alimentary canal cease; sugar is freed from the reserves in the liver; the spleen contracts and discharges its contents of concentrated corpuscles, and adrenalin is secreted." You don’t want to hold all of that in! It will make you sick!
Fear paralyzes; Fear tortures; Fear destroys and debilitates.
We are going to look at many of the things we fear over the next several weeks – and why you don’t need to live in fear!
What Fear Does…
Today: a fear that is just as paralyzing as any of the others and a fear that is universally felt… The fear of rejection
FEAR of REJECTION
Daniel 5:25-28
THE WORDS WRITTEN THERE ARE MENE, WHICH MEANS "NUMBERED," TEKEL, WHICH MEANS "WEIGHED," AND PARSIN, WHICH MEANS "DIVIDED." GOD HAS NUMBERED THE DAYS OF YOUR KINGDOM AND HAS BROUGHT IT TO AN END. HE HAS WEIGHED YOU ON HIS BALANCE SCALES, AND YOU FALL SHORT OF WHAT IT TAKES TO BE KING. SO GOD HAS DIVIDED YOUR KINGDOM BETWEEN THE MEDES AND THE PERSIANS.
In the book of Daniel a story is told about a king.
His name was Belshazzar. He was partying with his friends and drinking out of the holy and sacred vessels looted from the temple in Jerusalem when there appeared a hand and it wrote on the wall.
What it wrote was a phrase “mene, mene, tekel upharsin”. Translated it means: money, money, tickles the parson… No! That’s not right!
The part of the translation is, “You have been measured and found wanting.” Can you imagine the fear inside of that man that night?
No one wants to be REJECTED.
The potential for rejection is real and comes in many forms.
Guys, do you remember the first time you called a girl for a date? You picked up to the phone to call, but before you could dial the number a thousand butterflies took flight inside your gut. You decided to count to three and then dial but your mind couldn’t get beyond the number two. Did you make that phone call or did you bail at the last second? Did you let your fear of the word "no" stop you from even trying?
And you fellows know the fear of rejection that turned your stomach into a caldron of boiling acid when you asked that special woman for her hand in marriage. You were pretty sure she would say yes but what if she didn’t! REJECTED
In sales they could turn down your product. REJECTED
In sports you might get cut from the team. REJECTED
In the committee meeting they might reject your presentation. REJECTED
In a marriage they might tell you they want a divorce. REJECTED
If you’re a Christian you may bump into one or two people who could tell you they aren’t interested in hearing about your faith. REJECTED
Facing Rejection is not Easy
I’ll never forget being rejected by a friend as a Pastor & as a friend.
We had worked together, vacationed with our families together, even gone on a missions trip to Venezula together. Then one day after a really tough six months at breakfast one Thursday morning he said "I’ve decided that you are not a good enough minister and leader for me and my family". REJECTED
Everyone of us has had that experience at some time in our lives. In one way or another - someone we loved; someone we worked with; someone we worked for; someone that taught us; someone that we cared about rejected us.
If you want to become a Minister – Lay or Called - It takes a Tough Skin – and a tender heart. Skin as tough as a rhinoceros – a heart as tender as Jesus’.
Your ability to Face Rejection and Overcome Fear Depends on you understanding some critical facts:
#1: Understand What it is that will be Measured When It Really Counts!
Right now there are lots of ways fail to measure up to the standards of others. We have gone through intensive training on what it takes to be accepted. It started in kindergarten by the time we hit High School we had learned our lessons well. In college and on the job the lessons continued and the message was loud and clear.
Acceptance depends on many things. Our clothes. The car we drive. The home we live in and where it is located. Even more important is our job and how successful we have become.
In church – there are often unwritten rules of how we look and dress. I had a guy in Marquette who visited the church there and later told me that he could never come back to church there because he was served the Lord’s Supper by someone in blue jeans. Huh? What’s that got to do with my relationship with Jesus?
The wrong measurement and the when it doesn’t count
But none of those really matter in the end!
How many of us on our deathbeds will honestly wish we had spent more time in the office or cleaning house! I mean really! Is it that important to have a lawn without dandelions???
And besides we miss out on the really parts of life – the magic moments and the wonderful people.
Peter Marshall wrote a little poem worth recalling:
We have the nicest garbage man.
He empties out our garbage can.
He’s just as nice as he can be.
He always stops and talks to me.
My mother doesn’t like his smell.
But mother doesn’t know him well.
What really counts at the end of our time is this...
1 CORINTHIANS 4:1
“A PERSON SHOULD THINK OF US AS SERVANTS OF CHRIST AND MANAGERS ENTRUSTED WITH GOD’S SECRETS.”
Being a Servant of Christ And Managing Well the Secrets things of God
THIS IS WHAT COUNTS! THIS IS WHAT WILL BE MEASURED
The secret things of God were revealed in the good news of Jesus Christ. This is what counts. How well are we doing these things? This is what counts in the end!
THE GOSPEL IS SECRET FROM THE WORLD!
Regular, normal people don’t get it. They think we are in church because we have to be. They think we endure a hot auditorium on a summer day because we are afraid of God and are doing or duty.
But I’m here and you are here because you love being in God’s presence. We love worshiping him. We love singing his praises and we love communing with him at his Supper.
At least many of you are here for those reasons. But not all of you! Some of you are here because of duty. I pray that you will let go of that and hang on to Jesus. Some of you are here because you are hungry for meaning and whatever is happening in this place is attractive to you! I pray that you let go of your inhibitions and fears of rejection and will just open yourself to knowing Jesus as your friend. You’ll fall in love with him like we have! And you will know the secret!
2nd: Understand How you Will be Measured
1 Corinthians 4:2
“NOW IT IS REQUIRED OF MANAGERS THAT EACH ONE SHOULD PROVE TO BE TRUSTWORTHY”
It’s not about being successful. This is a tough lesson for us. We think our acceptance is based on our success. In school, at work, in our relationships
Dave Simmons
In his men’s seminar, David Simmons, a former cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys, tells about his childhood home.
His father, a military man, was extremely demanding, rarely saying a kind word, always pushing him with harsh criticism to do better. The father had decided that he would never permit his son to feel any satisfaction from his accomplishments, reminding him there were always new goals ahead.
When Dave was a little boy, his dad gave him a bicycle, unassembled, with the command that he put it together. After Dave struggled to the point of tears with the difficult instructions and many parts, his father said, "I knew you couldn’t do it." Then he assembled it for him.
When Dave played football in high school, his father was unrelenting in his criticisms. In the backyard of his home, after every game, his dad would go over every play and point out Dave’s errors. "Most boys got butterflies in the stomach before the game; I got them afterwards.
Facing my father was more stressful than facing any opposing team."
By the time he entered college, Dave hated his father and his harsh discipline. He chose to play football at the University of Georgia because its campus was further from home than any school that offered him a scholarship. After college, he became the second round draft pick of the St. Louis cardinal’s professional football club. Joe Namath (who later signed with the New York Jets), was the club’s first round pick that year. "Excited, I telephoned my father to tell him the good news. He said, ’How does it feel to be second?’"
Unfinished Business, Charles Sell, Multnomah, 1989, pp. 171ff
This carries over to our spiritual world. Got to meet the minimums in prayer. Got to do the basics. But then our spiritual life becomes one of religion instead of conviction.
God doesn’t need you to do your duty. He doesn’t want your empty meaningless, go through the motions, presence on Sunday mornings doing “church”. That’s religion. The world has way too much of that!
He wants you – lock stock and barrel
It’s about being faithful to what has been entrusted to us. Faithfulness is about staying true to the job we’ve been given. We are not paid on commission – paid in advance on the basis of trust and love. That is pretty amazing. God trusts us. And He expects us to be worthy of the trust.
Remember the Movie, Ben Hur? When Charlton Heston was concerned about not being able to win the chariot race in the movie Ben Hur, Cecil B. DeMille told him, "Your job is to stay on [the chariot]. It’s my job to make sure you win."
So too for us - we’re just to do what God has asked us to do and leave the winning up to Him! He trusts us with his business… his ministry… his work. WE HAVE A WONDERFUL MISSION – TELLING OTHERS!
What are we doing with it? What are we doing with his children? What are we doing to reach out to friends and neighbors? What are we doing with the love that’s been invested in us?
It’s not about US – it is about HIM
3rd: Understand the Importance of the Person doing the Measuring
1 Corinthians 4:3-4
IT IS A VERY SMALL THING TO ME THAT I SHOULD BE EXAMINED BY YOU OR BY ANY HUMAN COURT. IN FACT, I DON’T EVEN EXAMINE MYSELF. FOR MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR, BUT THAT DOES NOT VINDICATE ME. IT IS THE LORD WHO EXAMINES ME.
The person doing the weighing matters! We aren’t very good at measuring!! - Our Values are wrong!
The Butcher and chicken:
There is a story about a lady that went to the butcher to buy a chicken for her family’s dinner. The butcher had but one chicken left. She asked him to weigh it and it was clear that it was on the small side. When she asked if he hand another chicken he said sure and took the chicken with him into the back room. A few minutes later he returned with the same chicken and laid it on the scale along with a little extra pressure from his thumb.
The lady was not overly impressed with this bird either so she said, I’ll take both chickens…
When man makes the judgment the result is never clear. Man measure poorly for he gets his own values involved.
Man measures poorly – God Measures Well
Look at all the things that don’t matter. Appearance, etc all get in our way of what is really important.
God judges very well!
Listen and Mark this well in your mind and soul!
What YOU think of me is not very important. What the HUMAN COURT of opinion thinks of me is not very important. What I think of me is doesn’t even count for much. What GOD thinks of me is HUGE.
What God Thinks About You is very simple, He Loves you.
God will Never Reject You – As Long as you Come to Him!
JOHN 6:37
EVERYTHING THE FATHER GIVES ME WILL COME TO ME, AND THE ONE WHO COMES TO ME I WILL NEVER TURN AWAY.
Now that is security! – you will never be rejected as long as you don’t reject him
You are the bee’s knees, you are the apple of his eye, you are the pride of his very life, God is crazy about you! If he had a refrigerator your pictures would be all over it. Your prayers would be attached by magnets to the front of it. You will never be set aside by him.
