Intro: I remember as a little boy not any older than six years old playing football in my friend Michael Holman’s front yard. He said, “My dad can punt this football almost as high as that tree”, pointing to a tall pine tree in his front yard. Then I said “My dad can punt that football over that tree.” To that he replied, “My dad can punt it twice as high as that tree”. Then I said, “My dad can punt a football higher than your dad.” Then he started for his front saying, “I’ll get my dad and show you.” So I turned and ran for my grandparent’s house. I had never seen my dad punt a football, but one thing was for sure I wasn’t going to let his dad out do my dad. For most children their dad is their first hero.
It’s been said that childhood is when you think your parents are perfect. Adolescence is when you realize they’re not perfect, and you become an adult when you accept them for who they are imperfections and all.
What is a real man? According to TV commercials and sit-coms the dad is the fool of the family, he’s portrayed as a narrow-minded bigot, a buffoon, the butt of all jokes, the one the whole family looks down on. A real man is a Godly man; he’s the spiritual leader of his home, he loves his family with a self-sacrificing unconditional love. He is honest and faithful and a model of integrity to his children. This is quite a contradiction from what we see on TV today and the sad thing is we as Americans are taking our Q’s from the media as a culture.
Today it is my desire to honor dads, and I believe the best way to do that is to raise a Biblical standard for fatherhood before us all to shoot at. Being a dad is a difficult task and of all people I’m far from having it all figured out, but I want us to look to the Bible this morning for not only instruction on what to do, but also warning on what not to do as fathers.
As men there are two things that are certain: 1. We are always going through trials. If I could pass around a clipboard to all the dads and have them list the trials they going through, I’m certain every man would have something to write. 2. We are always being tempted.
Our children today need for us to be real with them. One of my greatest desires as a father is for my children to know the real me. Not some facade of a man who never shows weakness, or admits to failure, or never says I’m sorry. I want them to know me, just as I believe God wants us to know Him as our heavenly Father. This leads me to the first temptation that we as dad face.
1. THE DESIRE TO BE PERFECT.
As I searched the Bible for the perfect example of a father I only found one, that being God. Apart from God as our heavenly Father there is no such thing as a perfect father, because there are no perfect people. Even though we know this our culture is always pushing us in every area of our life to be perfect, if you’re not perfect you just don’t measure up. Well I’m here to say that’s not Biblical God does not expect us to be perfect He has called us to be Godly. And in turn we shouldn’t expect our families to be perfect. Our children need room for failure, and when they do fail the knowledge that you still love them and support them. Failure is where we learn our life lessons the most effectively. As a dad you might need to lighten up, perfectionism is counter productive.
This morning I would like for us to take a trip back in time to the home of a very busy man who lived in a town in Israel called Shiloh. His name was Eli; he was not only the High Priest of Israel but also served as judge of Israel for 40 years. No doubt a Godly, good man…so we would expect him to be the perfect example of fatherhood with two Godly sons in Hophni and Phinehas. But as we visit this home and little Hophni answers the door and informs us that his father Eli isn’t home nor is he ever home with the exception of sleeping and a few meals here and there. We realize that this Godly man is neglecting the most important aspect of his life that being his family.
This is where we find our first temptation that all fathers face.
2. TO GIVE OUR BEST TO THE WORKPLACE AND OUR LEFTOVERS TO OUR FAMILIES.
We all have a limited amount of our emotional being to give. We only have so much enthusiasm, creativity and emotional strength to give and when we give it all to the work place there is nothing left for our families. Some people say it’s not the quantity of time we give our children it’s the quality time we give them that matters. That’s simply not true, how much of our time we give someone equates our value of him or her.
We find the next temptations all fathers face in 2:12-17.
Hophni and Phinehas were spoiled. They were accustom to getting what they wanted when they wanted it. They didn’t want the meat that had the fat boiled off because it wasn’t as tasty as it would be if it were roasted with the fat. And also they had their servants pick out the choice meat instead of taking whatever came out by chance. This way they got what they wanted – the best – the way they wanted it roasted not boiled. They cared more for what they wanted instead of what God prescribed for them. I’m sure that with Eli’s busy schedule he faced the second temptation that all fathers are up against.
3. AREA OF MATERIAL POSSESSIONS.
Substitute what I purchase my family for my presence with my family. Toys instead of time! It’s a Biblical principle for the father to provide for his children, but when he is buying stuff to make up for not being they’re for his children then it becomes damaging to the child. Many dads think that if they work longer they can give more to their families. And this is true he can give more material possessions at the cost of less time, which equals less influence. I can’t remember what my dad made for a living, and I can’t forget the life he modeled for me.
In verse 22 we find the third temptation.
4. SEXUAL TEMPTATION
James 1:13-15
13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
“Dragged away” means to lure away from a place of safety to a place of danger. God was not leading Phinehas and Hophni to commit fornication with the women who served this was a result of their own evil desire’s that were controlling them.
Genesis 4:7
7If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
When sin is crouching at your door instruction won’t keep you from having an affair – “you must master it.” Charles Swindoll says that all husbands and fathers need to keep a picture of their children in their wallet, when a woman is tempting them all they need to do is take the picture out of their wallets and tell her all about their wife and kids. At the point of temptation it’s not that we become angry with God, it’s that God becomes very unreal to us. If you go down your children go down with you.
5. The temptation to deliver lectures rather than listening and learning and earning the respect of my family.
(v.22-24) Respect comes because you earn it. How do you react dad when things get out of whack at home? Eli gave his sons a lecture when he should have taken their priestly robs and kicked them out of the tabernacle. Their lack of respect for their earthly father rolled right over to their heavenly father.
James 1:19
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Is it to get angry…lecture…and set everybody straight. One thing God has really been driving home to me lately is WHEN I’M ABRASIVE I’M NOT PERSUASIVE. When we get out of line with God He doesn’t just want to correct our immediate behavior, He wants to correct our heart. To get our heart in line is to prevent the misbehavior from recurring. As a parent the worst thing we can do is react. Because when we react our emotions are in the drivers seat and they can get out of control and cause a wreck. We must respond and to respond we must be prepared this takes time and effort to prepare ourselves and think through all possibilities and potential problems.
6. TO UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF CULTIVATING A SPIRITUAL APPETITE IN YOUR CHILDREN.
(v.34-35) The unknown prophet tells Eli the fate of not only his two sons but also all his descendants after him. At this point I feel sorry for Eli because I truly believe that Eli was a good man but he was a week man. Every time we read about him in the Bible the personalities that surround him dominate the story and here Hophni and Phinehas dominate his family in a negative way. To develop a spiritual appetite in our children it must be fun and attractive. Our kids for the most part don’t the long-term benefits of a spiritually productive life. When we have a hard time making it fun and attractive that says more about us than our God. We also must be careful not to get caught up in overkill. Raising our kids in a religious legalistic manner can drive them away from God when our whole goal is for them to be attracted to Him.
What if (God forbid) you where taken in an accident? What would be the spiritual void in your family?
How did you score? Ask your wife; if she’s a woman of God she won’t take advantage of this.
If you’re a father this morning I want to ask you to stand. (Pray for fathers)
