Fathers: Build Up Sacred Walls Around Your Family
Nehemiah 2:11-18
Nehemiah is well known for his abilities as a leader. He not only built up walls to protect families he also built up people. Nehemiah built sacred walls to provide security for the people of Jerusalem. This is the calling of all fathers – to build sacred walls to protect their families.
From the life of Nehemiah - fathers can learn helpful principles on how to build and provide protection for their family from enemies that would tear down the very moral fabric of the home.
How do you spell success? For Nehemiah success was not fame and fortune with financial independence. Success was knowing what God wanted him to do and doing it. Do you want to be successful? Then find God’s will for your life and your family and doing it.
The leadership of Nehemiah is an example of what action steps are needed to be successful fathers.
Effective Fathers are men of prayer. Nehemiah was foremost a man of prayer. Nehemiah 1:3 – News came to him that his hometown of Jerusalem was in crisis. The walls and gates were broken down and burned. The city was open to attach without protection of walls. Nehemiah 1:4 Nehemiah wept, mourned, fasted and prayed. Nehemiah 1:5-11 Nehemiah prayed that God would remember the Jewish remnant in Jerusalem. He prayed, “Dear Lord show me how I can help. I’m available.”
When Nehemiah heard about Jerusalem’s problem he was in exile in Babylon – Persia. He is serving as King Artaxerxes cup bearer, a position of high honor.
Dads regardless of how busy your are – take time to pray with your children. Praying with your children while they are small implants memories that last a life-time.
Effective fathers know how to plan. Nehemiah was an excellent strategic planner. He had a goal in mind and he knew what strategic steps were needed to accomplish the goal.
Nehemiah waited for the proper time when he was called before the King to serve him and he used that opportunity to approach the king and share his passion. The King Artaxerxes noticed Nehemiah was sad and asked him why he was so sad. Nehemiah answered with keen insight: Nehemiah 2:3 “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city my fathers are buried les in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire.”
The king asked how he what he could do to help. Nehemiah breathed a prayer as he responded. He asked the king to send him to Jerusalem so he could help rebuild the walls.
Effective fathers plan to take care of their family. By prayerful planning you can meet the needs of your wife and children.
Effective Fathers are problem solvers. Nehemiah saw the problem, 1:3, the walls or Jerusalem were broken down and needed to be rebuilt. Nehemiah took the problem to God in prayer. He sat down and wept for some days he mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. He had a Plan. 2:1-10 – Nehemiah secured permission from the King and asked for an official letter for safe travel and materials to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. The process. 2:11-16 – Nehemiah traveled to Jerusalem and for three days scouted out the city. At night he surveyed the walls and gave his analysis of the situation. The next step was A Call to Action. 2:17-18 “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem les in ruins and the gates have been burned with fire. Come let us rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace. I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me.” Response – 2:18b – they replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.
The response of the people to Nehemiah’s leadership was electric. They said, “Let us rise up and build.” Through spirit anointed leadership one of the greatest obstacles to any work of God is overcome. Visionary leadership overcomes apathy and inertia. The very people who had been so lethargic and indifferent were now ready to get involved in the task, and all because of a God-sent-God-inspired leader.
Dad, you are called by God to be the spiritual leader in the home. Take the initiative and give spiritual leadership.
#It’s a fascinating story that comes out of the 1989 earthquake which almost flattened Armenia. This deadly tremor killed over 30,000 people in less than four minutes. In the midst of all the confusion of the earthquake, a father rushed to his son’s school. When he arrived there he discovered the building was flat as a pancake.
Standing there looking at what was left of the school, the father remembered a promise he made to his son, "No matter what, I’ll always be there for you!" Tears began to fill his eyes. It looked like a hopeless situation, but he could not take his mind off his promise.
Remembering that his son’s classroom was in the back right corner of the building, the father rushed there and started digging through the rubble. As he was digging other grieving parents arrived, clutching their hearts, saying: "My son! "My daughter!" They tried to pull him off of what was left of the school saying: "It’s too late!" "They’re dead!" "You can’t help!" "Go home!" Even a police officer and a fire-fighter told him he should go home.
To everyone who tried to stop him he said, "Are you going to help me now?" They did not answer him and he continued digging for his son stone by stone.
He needed to know for himself: "Is my boy alive or is he dead?" This man dug for eight hours and then twelve and then twenty-four and then thirty-six. Finally in the thirty-eighth hour, as he pulled back a boulder, he heard his son’s voice. He screamed his son’s name, "ARMAND!" and a voice answered him,
"Dad?" It’s me Dad!" Then the boy added these priceless words, "I told the other kids not to worry. I told ’em that if you were alive, you’d save me and when you saved me, they’d be saved. You promised that, Dad. ’No matter what,’ you said, ’I’ll always be there for you!’ And here you are Dad. You kept your promise!"
Nehemiah demonstrated effective qualities of leadership:
Ø He established a reasonable and attainable goal
Ø He had a sense of mission
Ø He was willing to get involved
Ø He rearranged his priorities in order to accomplish his goal
Ø He patiently waited for God’s timing
More than anything else Nehemiah built up families. Without his building up people and developing a partnership in accomplishing the task - the sacred protective walls of Jerusalem would not have been rebuilt.
There are many ways to build up your family.
I. BUILD UP YOUR FAMILY WITH SACRED WALLS OF PROTECTION
Sacred walls don’t cause alienation of people. Sacred walls bring unity and protect from evil.
Build sacred walls to protect your marriage.
The walls of faithful marriages needed rebuilding.
In Jerusalem the identity of the people of God had become fuzzy. Years of exile and intermarriage had taken its toll.
Today many sacred walls have given way and crumbled. The sacred walls of marriage also need rebuilding today. It wasn’t that long ago that Christians were those who remained married (in the good and bad times) as opposed to nonbelievers, who tended to opt for divorce. But the walls around matrimony have crumbled. Today, one out of every two marriages ends in divorce for Christians and non-Christians alike. Let me suggest to excellent books to read to keep your marriage relationship on the growing edge: His Needs Her Needs and Fall in Love Stay in Love, both books by Willard F. Harley.Jr.
The walls of moral conscience have given way as well. Without moral and Biblical absolutes virtues of sexual purity and sanctity of life are being washed away. With no moral absolutes anything goes.
#A friend of W. C. Fields once walked into his dressing room unannounced and caught him reading the Bible. Knowing Fields’ cynical attitude toward religion, he was surprised. Fields himself seemed embarrassed and quickly shut the book: “Just looking for loopholes,” he explained. There are still many people today looking for loopholes in God’s Word.
The walls that separate a weekly Sabbath from the rest of the week have also eroded and fallen. Christians are no longer characterized by the unique way they spend the first day of the week. Gone are the days when gas stations and supermarkets were closed on Sundays according to the fourth commandment. Take a look around. Swim meets and soccer games are just as prominent on Sunday mornings as they are on Saturdays. Christians and non-Christians alike find reasons to make an appearance in the office on Sundays (or at least open up their briefcase instead of lying down for a nap).
A couple decades ago, a beer company spent big bucks in a TV ad campaign to convince the country that “weekends were made for Michelob,” as opposed to spending increased time with God and their families. That was about the same time that professional football found a crack in the wall around Sunday observances and began chipping away at the traditional ways families spent the Lord’s Day. The rituals of worship, family meals, newspaper reading, jigsaw and crossword puzzles, car trips, bike rides, walks, naps, table games, and visits with relatives were gradually replaced by rituals related to goalposts and pigskin balls.
For the Jewish community, the solidarity of identity and protection from outside influences that city walls achieved tangibly, the Sabbath achieved spiritually. By building a wall around a time of quiet, reflection, and worship in the midst of routine busyness and day-to-day business, they found a way to recalibrate their fragmented lives. Holy ground was fenced off in order that faith, family, and a sense of the presence of God might be guarded, be watered, and grow. The Sabbath was a figurative wall built each week to reestablish boundaries of communal identity and to separate the holy from the secular.
Nehemiah gave leadership to protect the Sabbath Day. He was diligent in keeping the 4 Commandment – “Remember the Sabbath Day an keep it holy.” “ You can build a sacred wall to protect a Day of Rest in your life.
If you are familiar with the book of Nehemiah, you know that the years without city walls resulted in the disappearance of Sabbath walls. It was a tragic consequence, rendering God’s people as vulnerable spiritually as they were politically.
Listen to what Nehemiah says in chapter 13: “In those days I saw men in Judah treading winepresses on the Sabbath and bringing in grain and loading it on donkeys, together with wine, grapes, figs and all other kinds of loads. And they were bringing all this into Jerusalem on the Sabbath. . . . I rebuked the nobles of Judah and said to them, ‘What is this wicked thing you are doing—desecrating the Sabbath day? . . .’ When evening shadows fell on the gates of Jerusalem before the Sabbath, I ordered the doors to be shut and not opened until the Sabbath was over. . . . Then I commanded the Levites to purify themselves and go and guard the gates in order to keep the Sabbath day holy” (15–22).
In Nehemiah’s day, the Lord’s Day had become just another workday. Nehemiah succeeded in locking the gates at sunset on Fridays. There’s no way we’ll get back to Sunday blue laws. In a culture that is often referred to as post-Christian, there’s no way we can realistically think of Sunday like we used to. Never again will it be entirely different from the rest of the week. But we can learn from Nehemiah a few lessons in recapturing the spirit of what God intends for his people each week.
How do you handle pressure to give in to secular views and disregard keep a special day of worship and rest for the Lord?
According to Jay Kesler, there are two ways of handling pressure. One is illustrated by a bathysphere, the miniature submarine used to explore the ocean in places so deep that the water pressure would crush a conventional submarine like it were an aluminum can.
Bathyspheres compensate with plate steel several inches thick, which keeps the water out but also makes them heavy and hard to maneuver. Inside, they’re cramped.
When these crafts descend to the ocean floor, however, they find they’re not alone. When their lights are turned on and you look through the tiny, thick plate-glass windows, what do you see? Fish!
These fish cope with extreme pressure in an entirely different way. They don’t build thick skins: They remain supple and free. They compensate for the outside pressure through equal and opposite pressure inside themselves. Christians, likewise, don’t have to be hard and thick-skinned. When you approach the fourth commandment as a gift from God, you can discover how a weekly Sabbath provides you with the inner resources to maintain the purpose, power and freedom God intends for his people.
I heard a story about African missionaries who hired local villagers to help carry supplies to a distant station. The locals went at a slower pace than the missionaries desired, so they pushed them to go faster. On day three of the trek, the group went twice as far as day two. Around the campfire that evening, the missionaries congratulated themselves for their leadership abilities. But on day four the workers would not budge.
“What’s wrong?” asked the missionary.
“We cannot go any further today,” replied the villager’s spokesperson.
“Why not? Everyone appears well.”
“Yes,” said the African, “but we went so quickly yesterday that we must wait here for our souls to catch up with us.”
II. BUILD UP YOUR FAMILY THORUGH PRAISE
From the life of Nehemiah we learn the importance of building sacred walls. We also learn the importance of building up people through praise.
Nehemiah gave the people in Jerusalem the challenge to rise up and rebuild the walls. He might have said, “You can’t do it alone, but together we can do it.” Each family was to rebuild the wall closest to his home. Everyone was to help with wall building. From Eliashib the High Priest to the merchant, goldsmith and countrymen all were assigned a place to work. No one was too good not to work.
Can’t you see Nehemiah going from house to house giving each worker a pet talk? “Your wall is looking good. You’re doing a great job. Keep up the good work.” Here’s a truth to remember: “When you are praised for what you do, work doesn’t seem like work.”
The Proverb writer wrote in Proverbs 15:23, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply and how good is a timely word!”
Proverbs 12:25, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good words makes it glad.”
In the book, Especially for a Woman, Ann Kiemel Anderson writes about her sister Jan that taught 3 grade. One bright boy admired Jan his teacher. He enjoyed talking to her, but he did poorly in his work assignments and daily quizzes.
One day, Jan stopped, looked at him, and said, “Rodney, you are very smart. You could be doing so well in school. In fact you are one of my finest students. Before she could finish he looked up with sober large blue eyes and said: “I did not know that!”
From that moment on, Rodney began to change. His papers were neater, his spelling improved and he became one of the top students in the class. All because the teacher affirmed him. She told him something no one ever had said before. It changed his life.
No one ever became ill or died from receiving too much genuine praise and encouragement. But there are thousands of wounded souls scattered along the highway of life because no one gave them an encouraging word. Give an encouraging word every change you get. Remember, what you sow, you will also reap!
Friday, April 26th, Daily Bread gives the story of a man who was invited to the home of some friends for dinner. The food was superb, except for the apple pie. Even so, he found something good to say about the pie.
Several weeks later, the man visited the friends again for dinner. This time they had a cherry pie that was absolutely delicious. The visitor didn’t say a word about it. The hostess couldn’t contain her said and blurted out: “The last time you were her, I served apple that I was ashamed of, yet you were complimentary. Tonight I served what I think is the best pie I ever made, and you haven’t said a word. Why?”
The man smiled and replied, “The cherry pie tonight was fantastic, and the apple pie you served last time was not as good as this one. So you see, the apple pie needed more praise.”
Every Dad can find something to be thankful for. The man who seldom finds himself in hot water is the one with a wife, several daughters and one bathroom.
When Chris Spielman played for the Buffalo Bills, he was everything a middle linebacker should be: tough, strong and smart, with passion, total commitment, and loyalty to the game. He played the entire 1995 season with a torn pectoral muscle that he sustained in the season opener. But the game took a distant second place in his thinking during the 1998 season. He chose to stay home. He cooked, took care of his kids, and cared for his wife—by choice. Stephanie, Chris’ wife, was struggling through the stark reality of breast cancer. Surgery, chemotherapy, and nausea were Stephanie’s opponents. During her fight, Chris was at her side. His actions supported his "family before job" credo. Asked by a reporter from the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle if he’d consider a return to the Bills late in the season, Spielman said, "I’d play in a heartbeat, but what kind of man would I be if I backed out on my word to her? I wouldn’t be a man at all."Football fans saw Spielman as a man because of his aggressive, leave-it-all-on-the-field style of play. But what really makes him a man? It’s his personal sacrifice and unending commitment and loyalty to his wife.
Chris Spielman felt called to encourage his wife above his own career in football.
Dad, look for ways to encourage your family. All around you are discouraged people. No matter how poorly a person performs you can find something to give them an encouraging word. Look for ways to give people encouragement. If you see a person without a smile, give them one of yours.
Michael W. Smith is a very popular contemporary Christian soloist. Here is what he said about his father. "WHEN MY DAD COMES UP missing at a dinner party, I always know where to find him: in the kitchen. He’ll be in there, apron around his waist, washing dishes. That’s just one example of his servant’s heart. Serving seems to come naturally and effortlessly for my father. I remember one time he was working in the garage and he saw an elderly lady carrying a bag of groceries by our house. He immediately went out to help her. Time and again, I’ve watched him drop whatever he was doing to help someone carry a bag of groceries, fix a car or repair a broken appliance. I hope someday I’ll be as good at serving others as he is. If that happens, I’ll have to say, ‘I learned it from my dad.’"
From a national survey of strong families conducted by the Human Development and Family Department at the University of Nebraska- Lincoln, a profile of a strong family:
Appreciation: "Family members gave one another compliments and sincere demonstrations of approval. They tried to make the others feel appreciated and good about themselves."
Ability to Deal with Crises in a Positive Manner: "They were willing to take a bad situation, see something positive in it and focus on that."
Time Together. "In all areas of their lives--meals, work, recreation--they structured their schedules to spend time together."
High Degree of Commitment: "Families promoted each person’s happiness and welfare, invested time and energy in each other and made family their number one priority."
Good Communication Patterns: "These families spent time talking with each other. They also listened well, which shows respect."
Bronwen Dickey is the 16 year old daughter of the late poet and novelist James Dickey. She was quoted by an article in Newsweek magazine reflecting on her Father’s death last year and in the impact he made on her life.
Describing the last day she spent with her dad, Bronwen wrote, "I can’t remember exactly what I said to him, but I remember him looking up at me. . . with tears in his eyes. I think he knew it would be the last time we saw each other.
Here was a man who changed my diapers, made me peanut butter sandwiches, read me poetry, stayed up with me all night when I was sick, came to all my recitals, braided my hair, watched movies with me, checked my homework and here he was dying."
Then she wrote. "I think grieve for him because every day I am overwhelmed with the fact that I will never see him again, talk to him, ask him questions or listen to the answers again. He was my mentor and the dominant force in my life. So I am left with memories of greatness. Not the greatness of the writer but the greatness of the one I called, `father’."
Without a doubt, our Fathers are unforgettable figures in our lives. Counselors often refer to the "tapes" that play in our minds that originated from the words and phrases our fathers used as we were being raised.
For many, those tapes are filled with upbuilding and encouraging phrases; words which create security and confidence that gave to us a capacity to love and be loved.
But tragically, some tapes are filled with destructive, hurtful phrases. And those tapes often foster an experience of pain and confusion.
On this Father’s Day Weekend, I want to talk with father’s, about the words and the phrases we are both imparting and therefore imprinting on the minds and the hearts of our children. But let me be clear - - this sermon is not directed only to the hearing of those of us who are called Father, Dad, or Daddy. These words and phrases need to be said by brothers to sisters, parents to children, children to parents and to grandparents, family to family and friend to friend.
Dads think of ways you can show practical love to your family and by your actions build sacred walls of protection around your home:
Here are some ideas to get you thinking-
1. Pay off your credit cards. .
2Eat dinner together as a family for seven days in a row.
3 Take your wife on a dialogue date (no movie, guys).
4. Read your kids a classic book (Twain’s a good start).
5. Memorize the Twenty-third Psalm as a family.
6. Give each family member a hug for twenty-one days in a row (that’s how long the experts say it takes to develop a habit).
8. Pick a night of the week in which the television will remain unplugged.
9. Go out for a non-fast food dinner as a family.
10. Pray for your spouse and children every day.
11. Plan a vacation together.
12. Take a vacation together.
