“A wise child makes a glad father, but a foolish child is a
mother’s grief.” Would you agree? I wrote that, you know.
“Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not
stray.” Ah, but how do we train them? That is the question.
Just by commands? Or do we train them by example?
“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches.” It’s
nice if you can have both. But I am learning that going after
riches and power tarnishes my name.
“My child, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of
his reproof, for the Lord reproves the one he loves, as a
father the son in whom he delights.” I have not always
believed that. But I have come to see its truth.
Oh – have you heard these sayings of mine before? I am
known for the proverbs I have written. I have a reputation for
being wise. Throughout Israel and even beyond our borders,
they tell stories about my wisdom. King Solomon, they say,
has a proverb for everything. He has a wise saying for every
need. The queen of a great African country heard of me,
and came all the way from Sheba to test me with riddles! No
problem; I enjoyed the contest, and we pulled off some
lucrative deals while she was here. It hasn’t hurt to have this
kind of reputation.
Yes, I’ve spoken many wise sayings. I’ve pronounced my
ideas on several issues, many of them having to do with
family life. If it’s about husbands and wives, I once said, “It is
better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and
fretful wife.” Actually, there’s nothing special about that.
Listen, I have upwards of a thousand wives and harem girls.
It should be obvious where that proverb came from!
Once I even had to decide between two women arguing over
the custody of a child. My tongue was in my cheek when I
suggested that we just cut the child in half and give each one
a share, but it did sort things out in a hurry! It’s really rather
fun to be the one everyone comes to for advice.
But some things about family life I have had to learn the hard
way – by bitter experience. I have come to see that the
example set by my father David fell short of wisdom. Maybe
today I can help some father here to see that when he thinks
he is doing good things for his children, he may actually be
serving his own needs more than theirs.
But I have also come to appreciate my father’s humility. He
was willing to change his ways and to start over. I have
come to see that there is hope for me to get out of my mess,
if I can learn from my father. Maybe today I can help you to
get beyond what your father did or did not do for you.
Now there are some things about my family that you will
need to understand. I was born, shall we say, under a cloud.
There is no getting around it. When somebody tries to keep
family secrets, they just get more and more ugly. So let me
come clean with my family secret: my father and my mother
had had an affair before I was born. They knew that God’s
will is for sexual behavior to be confined to marriage, but
they did what they felt like doing anyway. Nothing about that
is pretty. It is very ugly indeed. And yet, there is a wonderful
side to it as well.
My father, David, who had cobbled together this kingdom of
Israel out of practically nothing, became restless. His eye
wandered, and he thought he was above the law. After all,
was he not king? Who would call him to account? So one
day he noticed a young woman, Bathsheba, and wanted her.
Never mind that he was a married man; never mind that she
was another man’s wife. He wanted her, and so he took her.
Worse yet, when it became clear that their love nest was
going to produce a child, David arranged for Bathsheba’s
husband, Uriah, to be killed. If you have an inconvenience,
get it out of the way; that’s what I learned from my father.
And I have done that myself, many times. When I came to
this throne, I found that were certain great men who were
against me. I eliminated them. I got rid of my problems.
Joab the general, Abiathar my half-brother, Shimei the
palace official who broke away from house arrest – all of
them I had killed. I got rid of the problem. Do you think I am
harsh and calculating? Maybe I am. But I learned it from my
father. If you have a problem, make it go away, and you can
get away with it.
Or can you? Or can you? I feel less than certain about that.
Something nags at my soul about all the people I have
destroyed in order to keep this throne. It seems as though it
may not have been worth so much blood.
Ah, but wait. Wait. Let me not go soft. I have many plans. I
know I can make this kingdom hum with activity. Just wait
until I get it right. I will break down the administration of the
kingdom into twelve districts, and over each I will put one of
my trusted men, who will bring me taxes and slaves and
soldiers. I will mine the iron and the copper in the Negeb
desert, and I will ship it from Ezion-Geber to the nations
along the Red Sea. I will breed fine horses and will equip my
army with swift chariots, so that we will be invincible. You
will hear of the glory of Solomon before I am finished!
Just one thing has stood in my way. Just one problem had
to be solved. And that is that the people did not at first
accept me. Though some I arrested and some I executed,
they did not accept me. Too many of them resisted. Too
many of them could not find it in their hearts to follow my
lead. If I was to be king – indeed if I was to be taken
seriously as a man – some things had to change. Would you
believe that the chief one of those things that had to change
was my father David? My problems began as my father’s
problems. His issues became my issues. And if I were ever
going to resolve those issues, the answer would have to
begin with my relationship to my father.
Let me show you what I am talking about. First of all,
remember that I have come to the throne even though my
father is not yet dead. We share the power. It is unusual, I
know, but then kingship in Israel is still new. It is not clear
that a son will always succeed his father. David became
king, but was not the son of Saul, our first king. And I am not
the eldest of David’s sons. I am king because David named
me king, and tried to force me on the people even before he
dies. But it hasn’t worked. And therein lies the point I am
about to make.
David had in mind a great project. For years he had wanted
to construct a Temple for our God here in this capital city of
Jerusalem. He drew up plans, he talked it out with his
advisors, he sketched out a vision. But in a dream, God told
my father that he was not to build the Temple; rather, David’s
son would build the Temple. God had other things for David
to accomplish, but not this. The Temple was to be left to his
son and heir.
That was a bitter pill to swallow for my father. He thought of
building the Temple as the capstone of his career. It would
be the architectural masterpiece, the spiritual center of the
Mount Zion. It would be his monument. Men of a certain
age, you know, need to feel that they have nailed something
down, that they have accomplished something lasting.
Maybe that is why God stopped him. Far better for others to
create our monuments. So David was stopped in his tracks
and was not permitted to dig a single foundation or to lay one
brick on another. He would not be permitted to build this
Temple. That was to be my privilege and my responsibility.
But then what did my determined father do, though frustrated
by God’s command? He did everything short of the actual
construction. He gathered materials in huge quantities –
timber and stone more than we could measure, bronze and
iron more than we could weigh. He called in enormous sums
of money – a hundred thousand talents of gold, a million
talents of silver. You know what they say: a million here, a
million there, and pretty soon you are talking about serious
money! “Solomon”, he said; “Solomon, you are young and
inexperienced, -- oh, let me tell you I loved hearing that! --
you are young and inexperienced, and so I have pulled
everything together for you. Since you will of course not
know what you are doing, I’ve set it up so that you cannot
fail. Go to it, my boy”.
Set it up so that I could not fail. Right. What do you think
happened? Two things, two crucial things, with results that
now I understand. At first I didn’t, but now I do. Two things:
first, David commanded all the leaders of Israel to help in the
work. Commanded them, did you hear that? And second,
David made me king over Israel. Just declared it and made
it happen.
What do you suppose was the outcome? Did Israel jump to
the task and go to work on the Temple? They did not. Did
the people acclaim me as their new king and pledge their
loyalty? They did not. They sat on their hands. They said
neither yea nor nay. The timber lay rotting, the bronze
tarnished. The Temple project did not go forward. And
neither did my standing as king. Nothing happened.
And why not? Because my father David had relied on his old
pattern of taking what he wanted and commanding his way
through. And the time comes when that will not work. Never
mind that God had said, “You will not build this Temple.”
David thought he could almost build it by getting all the
materials together and then commanding people to work on
it, and commanding them to accept me as their king.
It almost works, you know. It almost works. I have been
doing it too. I have been wiping out others who disagreed
with me. I have been using my intellect, my authority, my
words, and my weapons to push my way on others. I am my
father’s son. But it never really works.
Oh, but how hard it is for me to be anything but my father’s
son! His example has spoken so loud that I can scarcely
hear anything else. I like to say it, “Train children in the right
way, and when old, they will not stray.” But the other side of
that coin is true also. Train children in the wrong way, and
when old, they will hew to that path, even when it is not
working! To this day, even though I know that you cannot
shape a child just by imposing your will and by giving him
everything under the sun, I try to do it. Yet I do see the folly
of it – Israel sat on its collective hands. They did not build
the Temple, and they did not accept their king.
Ah, but there is good news. There is very good news. When
my father David, old and weak as he was, saw what was
happening, he repented. He changed. He began getting it
right. David saw that you do not command respect, either
from your child or your people. You earn it. You bring it out
by respecting them. And David saw also that you
accomplish very little with your child if you do not involve the
Lord in that child’s growth.
And so when the men of Israel dragged their feet, David
came at the task in a whole different way. Getting it right.
First, my father drew me to God. He reminded me of all the
mercy that God had shown him. By rights he ought to have
died, and my mother too ought to have been judged. In fact,
my older brother’s life was forfeited because of their sin. But
my father taught me passionately one day about the grace,
mercy, and love of God, and led me to the Lord. I’ve written
down what he said to me: “The Lord searches every mind,
and understands every plan and thought. If you seek Him,
He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will
abandon you forever .. The Lord has chosen you [you and
not me] to build .. a sanctuary. Be strong and act.”
Do you see? My father now was getting it right. He drew me
to the Lord and so empowered me. If I am God’s man and
not just David’s son, I will be able to carry on my life no
matter what the old man was or was not. He gave up trying
to control me. He gave up trying to make his dreams my
dreams. He just drew me to the Lord and let God’s plan for
my life take shape. What a powerful change that was! And
how that gave me a whole new direction! I am not just the
old man’s son, for good or for ill. I am God’s child, I am
God’s man, free to live out my life as God would have it. My
father drew me to the Lord, and there is no finer gift he could
have given. Fathers’ if you do not lead your children to the
Lord, you can forget all the other gifts you give. They pale
into insignificance.
And then my father turned to the people of Israel to get it
right with them too. He asked them, “Who then will offer
willingly ... to the Lord?” Did you catch it? The first time he
had commanded them to work on the project. Commanded
them, from on high, and they resisted. Now he invites them.
He offers them an opportunity. A completely different thing!
And do you know what happened? When my father drew me
to the Lord and then invited others to participate in God’s
plan for my life, what happened? The people made their
freewill offerings and rejoiced. And this time they made me
king. Not David by royal decree. But they, the people, made
me king, and anointed me. We were at last getting it right.
What a joy! What a wonderful joy – to know that I do not
have to be trapped into repeating David’s mistakes, just
bullying my way through life, as he did. What a great joy to
see that despite his mistakes, because he repented and
drew me to the Lord, now I can live in freedom and cherish
the love of others. Praise God! Praise God! Praise God for
a father who will change his ways and love his children into
the ways of the Lord. And praise God that none of us are
trapped in our fathers’ foolishness, but are freed by God to
live and to love. Praise God! We can get it right. Praise
God! Praise God!
As I always have liked to say, “The fear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom; [only] fools -- some of whom are
fathers and some of whom are the sons and daughters of
fathers -- only fools despise wisdom and instruction”. Get it
right!
