Learning the Secrets of Being Self-Controlled – 2 Tim. 3:3
Illustration: During his term as President of the U.S., Lyndon Johnson was somewhat overweight. One day his wife challenged him with this blunt assertion: "You can’t run the country if you can’t run yourself." Respecting Mrs. Johnson’s wise observation, the President lost 23 pounds.
We are warned in 2 Tim. 3:3 that in the last days there will be increasing godlessness. Paul writes, “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, …without self-control along with eleven other ungodly characteristics. We have recently seen a scandal in the Catholic Church among priests who have failed to exhibit self-control and all of the consequential pain, misery and self-destructive behavior. The lack of self-control on the part of some Catholic priests now threatens the credibility of the entire Roman Catholic Church.
We read that the surgeon general now warns that more than 30% of Americans are obese so that overweight diseases are now at epidemic proportions. We daily see in the media how immorality has become rampant through television to the point where it is joked about as something frivolous and a mere expression of individual freedom. Consider the proliferation of pornography on the Internet. Do you know that of all the words searched for on the Internet the one that is most sought after, 32 million times a day is sex. Even some Christians have succumbed to the temptations to lose self-control of their passions and the constructive use of their spare time.
The Greek word egkrateia (eng-krat’-i-ah), means “self-control” or “continence.” Self-control consists of the right use of the will under the controlling power and performance of the Holy Spirit who indwells the believer. The Greek word egkrateia is derived from another Greek word, kratos. Kratos means “strength.” Kratos is translated power in Eph. 1:19.
“...According to the working of his mighty power, which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead . . .” (Eph. 1:19,20).
But an available resource (resurrection power) does not guarantee an applied resource. An available but unused resource can spell the difference between success and failure in the Christian life. This is especially true regarding an area (or areas) in life where things are out of control.
It is not easy to talk about long suffering in a day when we grow annoyed if we have to wait more than 2 minutes at the grocery checkout line. Yet, without self-control we cannot have successful relationships, carry out our basic responsibilities or maintain a personal life that fruitful. Paul purposely places these nine virtues in one setting to paint a picture of a fully furnished inner life of the complete Christian. In the process he makes clear a very important principle.
It is a principle that applies to all fruit. The principle is this: the fruit of the Holy Spirit is, “the work which His presence within accomplishes” (Amplified Bible). Or, as the Living Bible puts it, “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives He will produce this kind of fruit in us . . ." and lists “self-control” or “self-restraint, continence” (Amplified Bible) as a product or result of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling influence.
God’s will is clear on this subject. According to Jesus it is His will that we bear fruit--”much fruit” (John 15). His will is for us to manifest these traits that comprise the complete Christian life (Gal. 5:22-24). The potential is present within each believer. The possibility exists for every one who names Jesus as Savior and Lord. The ability is available because the raw material for making it happen lies within and flows out of one’s relationship with Him Who calls Himself “the Vine” (John 15).
For example, how many people do you suppose there are who think that because it is the “fruit of the Holy Spirit (i.e., HIS fruit)” which HE produces in the life of the Christian it means that, “HE is responsible for it . . . not ME.” Therefore if the Christian doesn’t have fruit it is because HE didn’t put it there. In other words, if I’m not acting in a loving or kind way or, if I’m not practicing self-control-- it’s because GOD hasn’t put love and kindness in me. God’s hasn’t given me the grip or grit that it takes to restrain my habits so it’s His fault--not mine. “Oh,” we say, “it would be very good to have those things, I suppose . . . but I’m not responsible because that’s just the way I naturally am and if God intended for me to be any other way He would have made me that way!” “Why,” some might sincerely say, “I’ve even asked for it a couple of times and nothing changed . . . So, don’t blame me. It’s not my fault!” That’s a neat way for one to dodge personal responsibility by shifting blame. But, as the saying goes, “that ‘ole dog ain’t gonna hunt here!” (Charles Holt – Orange, Texas)
Let us depend on the Spirit to help us exercise self-control in all areas of our relationships, activities and personal thoughts.
1. The Holy Spirit works to produce in the Christian’s experience--the daily walk--His fruit of self-control because Christ’s victory broke the controlling power of the sinful nature.
2. The Holy Spirit helps us focus our emotional, mental, and spiritual energies on following Jesus Christ in all areas of our life. The writer of Hebrews wrote, "Looking away from all that will distract us, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." (Heb. 12:1,2) Only the Spirit of God can keep you from getting distracted by the worries, riches or pleasures of this life. Ask the Lord to help you concentrate all of your resources on loving Jesus Christ and obeying His will.
3. The Holy Spirit helps renew, refresh and restore our willingness to do God’s will as we pray and study God’s word. David wrote, "As the deer pants for the water, so my soul cries out for you Oh God." (Psa. 42:1) Ask the Lord to help you spend at least thirty minutes alone with the Lord every morning to allow Him to replenish your willingness to do ALL of His will.
4. The Holy Spirit helps us resist the temptation to lash back at people who criticize our ideas or us. The Spirit of God has a way of helping us not taking accusations personally. Jesus said, "If they reject you, they are rejecting me." (Luke 10:16) Ask the Lord to help you to avoid allowing faultfinders to get to you emotionally, mentally or spiritually.
5. The Holy Spirit helps us remember that God can work all things together for good when we feel overwhelmed by problems. The Spirit of God is able to take all adverse factors and synergistically blend them together to create in us a greater Godly character, a wiser mind a more fruitful long term outcome. Ask God to help you remember that He can use everything for your best interests when you feel like quitting.
6. The Holy Spirit brings to mind important scriptural truths that remind us that our own lack of self-control is our chief obstacle to success. (James 4:1-4) Ask the Lord to help you remember that it is not what is on the outside of a person that defiles them, but what comes out of a person’s heart and mind.
7. The Holy Spirit helps us concentrate our efforts on pleasing the Lord rather than trying to please people or our own selfish desires. Paul wrote, "Work wholeheartedly as to the Lord and not to please men (including yourself)." (Col. 3:23) Ask the Lord to help you direct all of your attention to pleasing God instead of people or yourself.
8. The Holy Spirit helps us associate with Godly people who can encourage us to discipline ourselves for the purpose of Godliness. Solomon wrote, "He who walks with wise men, will be wise. But the companion of fools will suffer harm." Ask the Lord to help you consistently associate with Godly people who can help you practice self-control in your speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity of life. Trust the Lord to help you avoid spending a lot of time with people who are undisciplined, lazy or prone to anger or fearful reactions.
9. The Holy Spirit endues us with a sense of calmness to help us remain self-controlled even though our associates may tend to lose their cool. While nailed to the cross of Calvary, Jesus endured insults from the chief priests and teachers of the law and the elders as they mockingly shouted, "He saved others, but he can’t save himself!" (Matt. 27:42) Ask the Lord to give you the peace of mind and an attitude of self-control when you are provoked to become angry or resentful.
10. The Holy Spirit keeps us alert to how we might grow in all aspects into Christ. Paul wrote, "Let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. Let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate and the hope of salvation as a helmet." (I Thes. 5:6) Ask the Lord to keep you alert to all that He is doing in your personal life, your relationships and your ministries.
11. The Holy Spirit gives us a special grace of self-discipline that comes with being completely controlled by the Spirit of God. Paul wrote, "God has not given us the spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Tim. 1:7) Ask the Lord to help you overcome your natural tendency to shy away from what God what you to think, do and become.
12. The Holy Spirit urges us to pray in a way that prepares our minds for all that God expects us to accomplish. Paul wrote, "The grace of God teaches us to say, ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age." (Titus 2:12) Ask God to help you to pray in a way that prepares your body, soul, mind and spirit for all that God wants you to achieve.
13. The Holy Spirit blesses us with the knowledge, wisdom and insights that are necessary to practice self-control in any situation. Peter wrote, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Christ who called us by his own glory and goodness. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge and to knowledge, self-control." (2 Pet. 1:3-6) Ask God to help you utilize ALL of His power for more self-control in your personal life, relationships and
But all of this is conditional. It depends upon one’s response to His working. The Holy Spirit is able to accomplish His work of producing fruit in a full and rich measure as we put ourselves definitely under subjection to Him. In other words, as we
“ . . . go forward walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25, Amplified Bible).
The lack of self-control is filling waiting rooms and therapy chambers of mental health workers, psychologists, psychiatrists and counselors. Lack of self-control is at the root of any number of mental, emotional and spiritual ills. For example, consider some ways we almost flippantly talk about our own lack of control.
Our temper might alienate us when we do not practice self-control. Some of you may say, “I do not pray enough or I do not spend enough time alone with God in my devotions or I do not have enough discipline to study the scriptures as I should or I eat too much or I allow my fears to get to me or a give in to disappointment and frustration too easily.”
All of these can be answer with the exercise of the self-discipline given to us by the Holy Spirit. (2 Tim. 1:7) Paul writes, “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline.” Paul writes, “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness as it is profitable for all things, not only in this life but also in the life to come.”
Overindulgence characterizes a lack of self-control. At the root of all kinds of abuse--mental, physical, and emotional --is a lack of self-control. This is not a new problem. It is as old as the human race. It’s not what somebody else does: it is what I do; what you do; what we do.
We must count, think and believe that the Lord’s power will help us exercise our responsibilities we will fall into the temptations of being irresponsible.
The Bible teaches us to be self-controlled not to do self-control. It must be an outgrowth of the Spirit’s working in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (Phil. 2:13) He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32). I especially love the way the Living Bible paraphrases it.” It is better to be slow-tempered than famous; it is better to have self-control than to control an army."
In simple, straightforward terms this verse from Proverbs establishes the priority for the exercise of self-control.
Prov. 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” In other words a person without self-control is always vulnerable to attack from the world’s influences, the devil and as well as his own self-destructive desires. That person is defenseless and bound to be defeated.
Practical Ways of Exercising Spirit led Self-Control
Paul met with resistance when he talked about self-control just as most people resist its message today. “As Paul discoursed on righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, “That’s enough for now! You may leave.” (Acts 24:25)
1. Expect opposition to calls of self-control. Many people will reject calls to God’s righteous working in their lives. They do not want or choose to be self-controlled, instead they have such a desire for the things of this life that it chokes out the life of God’s word and ends up producing nothing but thorns. The consequence of that choice will be judgment by God.
2. Self-control is especially necessary for those who want to be influencers and leaders in the church. Paul tells the young pastor Timothy: “keep thyself pure” (1 Tim. 5:22). Although the word “temperance” is not used in this verse the underlying idea is here. I should point out that the word “temperance” as used by Paul and Peter was understood by the Greeks of that day to mean holding the passions and desires in hand. The word was used of the purity of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites. Sensual appetites include (but is not limited to) sexual desires. It applies equally to overindulgence in food and drink.
3. Those who fail to practice self-control risk ending up as losers, failure and rejects. In 1 Cor. 9:24-27 Paul makes clear that failure to bring “my body” (vs. 27), i.e., “myself" into subjection is to risk being “unapproved--and rejected [as a counterfeit] (Amplified Bible). It’s the risk of not obtaining the prize for which one runs the race.
Church leaders (in this case a Bishop) are to be “just, holy, temperate” (Titus 1:8), that is, self-controlled, mastering, restraining, and controlling one’s self.
4. Senior citizens are especially admonished to practice self-control or they will become ornery, cranky and bitter curmudgeons. Older men are to be, “sober, grave, temperate” (Titus 2:2), that is, of a sound mind, sane; curbing one’s desires and impulses; self-controlled.
5. People in our churches should exercise self-control or they will fall into a number of destructive traps. Writing to the Christians at Corinth, Paul uses ancient Israel as an example of the lack of self-control (1 Cor. 10:1-12). They were guilty of four areas of abuse: 1). Idolatry--Exodus 20:4,5. According to Colossians 3:4, covetousness is the same as idolatry. What are some things we “idolize” in our lives?
What are some things we just “can’t do without?” What are the things that have a higher priority than developing our knowledge of and walk with the Lord Jesus Christ? 2). Fornication--James 4:4 says that friendship with the world amounts to spiritual fornication (see 1 John 2:15-17).
Although we are in the world we are not of the world. Self-control will enable us to live in this world without being conformed to it (see Rom. 12:2).
3). Tempting Christ--An example of Israel tempting God is found in Numbers 21:5,6.
4). They spoke against rightful authority. Paul lists “seditions” (Gal. 5:19-21) as one of the works of the flesh. Sedition is defined as “incitement of resistance to or insurrection against lawful authority.” Could a “seditious attitude” explain the unrest and acts of lawlessness that characterizes so much activity in the streets and homes of our communities today?
6. People who lack self-control tend to fall into the trap of complaining and arguing over non-essentials. Paul used the word to murmur which means to grumble. The Israelites complained, and grumbled, about their leaders and their situation in life. No matter how unpleasant our circumstances there is no justification from Scripture for us to grumble or murmur. Consider what James 3:5,6 says about the potency of the tongue. This whole passage refers to the effect of negative speech.
Remember:
I talk too much. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” According to this verse all our negative confessions of weakness, inability, and failure result in a host of troubles. Could this be a key to the many troubles experienced by some believers today?
7. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus who is the author, perfecter and example of our faith. (Heb. 12:1,2) The incredible example set by our Lord Jesus Christ on the night of His infamous trial before his murder-minded accusers is an inspiration to everyone. After they had screamed several blatant lies against Him,
. . .the High priest arose and said to Him,’ Do You answer nothing? What is that these
men testify against you?’ But Jesus kept silent.” (Mt. 26:62-63).
Later, before Pilate,
. . . he was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He answered nothing. Then Pilate said to Him, ‘Do you not hear how many things they testify against you?’ And He answered him not one
word, so that the governor marveled greatly” (Mt. 27:12-14 NKJV).
8. Ask the Lord to help you love Him more so you can avoid loving the world. (I John 2:15,16) “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world.” The reason why so many people fail to exercise self-control is that they do not fill themselves us by loving God, praising Him and getting to know Him better moment by moment.
i.e. – I’ve learned that at long traffic lights I spend the time praising God for one of his attributes and it refreshes my soul and take my mind away from the frustration of being held up by congestion.
9. I need to prepare my mind to pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart while fleeing youthful lusts.’ (2 Tim. 2:22-24) "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish" (Gal. 5:17).
10. Self-control means the exercise of one’s free will to make good or bad choices. Our creator has endowed every person with the ability to make good choices. Obeying the Holy Spirit’s instructions and receiving His strength is a bonus benefit to the believer. The Christian man or woman, however, has an advantage over others because they have learned to surrender their will to the controlling power and strength of the Holy Spirit Who indwells them.
Illustration: Ask the Lord to help you to be self-controlled for the purpose of expanding His kingdom and righteousness not just for our own self-aggrandizement.
A while back on "The Merv Griffin Show," the guest was a body builder. During the interview, Merv asked "Why do you develop those particular muscles?" The body builder simply stepped forward and flexed a series of well-defined muscles from chest to calf. The audience applauded. "What do you use all those muscles for?" Merv asked. Again, the muscular specimen flexed, and biceps and triceps sprouted to impressive proportions. "But what do you USE those muscles for?" Merv persisted. The body builder was bewildered. He didn’t have an answer other than to display his well-developed frame. I was reminded that our spiritual exercises--Bible study, prayer, reading Christian books, listening to Christian radio and tapes--are also for a purpose. They’re meant to strengthen our ability to build God’s kingdom, not simply to improve our pose before an admiring audience.
Gary Gulbranson, Leadership, summer, 1989, p. 43.
