“Sticks and Stones...”
There is a familiar old saying that we’ve all heard, it goes like this; “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Now, this is a response that probably everyone in this room today has uttered in the wake of some terrible barrage of name calling inflicted by someone else who was more than likely much bigger or stronger than we were. It was
a phrase that we interjected with much feeling where as after we said it, we abrubtly turned to walk away as if we had just won some sort of psychological victory over our opponent. But as you may remember, it was impossible to walk away though, before we signified our ‘supposed victory’ by the ritualistic sticking out of the tongue.
But later on, long after these words ‘that could never hurt us’ were said....we found ourselves hearing them over and over again in our head, and many times these ‘harmless’ words, true or untrue, would even bring us to tears and sometimes leave us, though not physically injured but emotionally scarred.
Sticks and stones may break my bones....but words can never hurt me?
How powerful can mere words be? Well, in Genesis chapter one we read that God used words to create the entire universe. The bible says that He literally spoke our world into existence. In fact, the only part of our creation that He didn’t merely “speak into existence” is man. And this is not because he couldn’t but because He wanted to create a special bond between Himself and us, so He actually formed us with his hands and made man in His own image. And though our words are in no way as powerful as God’s, the ability that He has given us
to communicate with each other by way of speech is perhaps the most powerful gift -- aside from Jesus-- that He has bestowed upon the human race. For it is through words, that we are able to communicate with one another--with words we are able to express our innermost feelings and by hearing and interpreting the words of others, we are able to understand to a certain degree their feelings.
Whether it be verbal, signed, or written, language is indeed a vital asset to all of mankind. But, as with any gift or ability so powerful, it is extremely important that our words are used in a very careful and responsible manner. Because you see, our words can be used for good.......or they can be used for evil. They can build up.....or they can tear down.
For instance, there are three words in the English language that have the power to warm the human heart and bring a feeling unequaled by perhaps any other combination of words in our vocabulary; those three special words are: I love you. Do you remember how you felt when you heard these three words for the very first time from the person that you loved.
Words are powerful. But, you can change only one of those three words in that sentence and a totally different feeling is invoked. The mere words; I hate you-- especially from someone you love can have quite the opposite affect, instead of warming our heart, these words can seem to pierce our chest and rip it out. Words are powerful.
Why are words so powerful? Well, Jesus gives us some insight into this question; In Matthew 12:34 He says; “It is out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks.” If your heart is extremely glad or happy, even if we have no words at the time, it seems impossible to restrain at least a cheerful whistle. But, if your heart is full of anger; the mouth serves as a “pressure relief valve” or the whistle valve on a tea pot, it’s eager to get those feelings out in the open. And believe me friends; when it’s out there....it’s OUT THERE and no matter how much
we wish we could suck those words back in......once they fall from our lips, the damage is already done and we are forced to deal with it.
Solomon says in Proverbs 12:18; “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” The Holy Spirit grants us many wonderful gifts, each according to our faith and abilities but some of us have been granted the gift of putting our foot in our mouth.....and this gift by the way is not from the Holy Spirit. On the contrary, it is through the power of the Holy Spirit that we can rid ourselves of that “special gift” that we all at times seem to possess. Turn with me to the book of James 3:2-12
“2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of
the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”
How much damage can our words do? Well, we all remember the Columbine school massacre in Littleton, Colorado where fifteen people lost their lives. You may say; those people were killed with guns -- not words. Well, I’m a firm believer that guns don’t kill people.... people kill people. And people kill for many different reasons; in the case of the Columine High School killings and others of the like, students and psychologists alike agree that one of the main catalysts that drove those two young gunmen over the edge was all the teasing and
ridicule that they had endured for some time before. And no, all the name-calling in the world does not in any way justify murder..., but it is indeed a good example of how our words, which we sometimes utter without even thinking, can bring about unwarranted and catastrophic results.
“Words can never hurt me?” In Job 19:2, Job asked his three friends; “How long will you torment and crush me with your words?” And that sentiment is still true today, there is not an adult present here who hasn’t been truly and deeply hurt by the words of someone else. Nor is there an adult here today who hasn’t themselves hurt someone else with his or her own words. What does Jesus tell us about this tendency that we have to say hurtful words to and about one another? Lets look at Matthew 12:33-37
Matthew 12:33-37
“33 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.””
James tells us in Chapter one and verse 26 of his letter to his churches that; “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”
Spiritually speaking my friends, this is a very bold statement! James is saying that if evil comes out of our mouths......then, like Jesus said, it is coming from the evil stored up inside of us and if we allow that evil to remain in us.... then we have decided to hinder or reject the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit.
In Proverbs chapter 13:3 Solomon says for good reason that; “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”
Our tongues have to be kept in check. Paul tells us in Romans chapter 12 that we should offer our bodies to God as living sacrifices.. but sometimes, without realizing it, we offer the smallest but most powerful part of our bodies to Satan as a living and “very” active sacrifice. And believe me that the devil can accomplish more evil with our tongues than any other part of our bodies.
And that brings us to the question of exactly what kind of talk is from Satan---what kind of conversation does our Lord command that we steer clear of? Well, let’s turn to the scriptures and find out:
Romans 1:29-32
“29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant
and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.”
Colossians 3:5-10
“5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
James 4:11 says this; “Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the Law and judges it.”
For instance, if I see Jimmy Joe Bob picking up a woman who is a known prostitute.....and I start spreading the word that Jimmy Joe Bob is sleeping with prostitutes, then I am committing as great a sin as he MAY be committing because I have not only judged him but I have already convicted him.
And Peter tells us this in 1Peter 3:8-11; “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil
with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. (And then Peter quotes from the 34th Psalm when he says;) ‘For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.’
Remember, Jesus says; “blessed are the peacemakers..” Not "long live the instigators"
I was amazed at just how much the scriptures had to say about how we should control our tongue. Just from the few passages that we just read, we are told that Christians shouldn’t: lie, slander one another, gossip which is a type of judging, and of course we shouldn’t indulge in filthy or crude talk.
But, there is another type of conversation that the bible says that we, as Christians should not take part in. In 2Timothy chapter two Paul instructs Timothy how to deal with others who are in error about doctrinal beliefs. He says in verse 14; “Keep reminding them (the church) of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.” He says; “Avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.”
We, as Christians, because we are such a minority and hold to some doctrinal beliefs that seem like foolishness to the rest of the world, find ourselves often times taking a very defensive attitude with others who question our beliefs and convictions. Has it ever happened to you? You are in a discussion with someone and they say something that you take offense at and all of a sudden the conversation is no longer Christ centered but is now about proving that you are right and they are wrong. This is where we need to remember to keep a tight reign on our tongue.
One of the wisest things we can do when we find ourselves in those kinds of situations, when Satan tries to tempt us to taint our lips with arrogance or angry words, we need to ask ourselves this question; do I want to win the argument.....or the person? You see, Jesus reached people with the ultimate message of love WITH love and we should do the same.
Maybe the old saying should go; sticks and stones may break my bones.....but words can break my heart. Yes, brothers and sisters, our words can have a devastating affect on each other and we need to be ever conscious of that. The tongue is without a doubt the hardest member of our bodies to control but with God all things are possible and if we only allow the good to come out, then the evil that is inside us will eventually die of suffocation and is itself replaced with good because Proverbs 12:14 says that; “From the fruit of his lips, a man is filled
with good things as surly as the work of his hands rewards him.”
Throughout the Scripture, we are told to use our words to uplift, encourage and inspire one another. In Colossians 4:6 Paul says; “Let your conversation always be full of grace and seasoned with salt...” Now how do you season your conversation with salt? Well just for example: Let’s say you are in a long line at Wal-Mart waiting to be checked out; it’s finally your turn and the cashier says “how are you” and “thank you and have a nice day” but she is about as insincere as she can possibly be and still have a job! She needs the salt shaker....... Seasoning our
conversations with salt is to make them more “palatable” by mixing in some sincerity and feeling--- just as Jesus did. You see with power from on High, Jesus showed the people His Father, but
the love of the Father was also manifested through Him by His words of kindness and mercy.
Brothers and sisters, Jesus has passed on to us this amazing ability to minister with words---so you don’t have the gift of laying on of hands; maybe you can’t teach, preach or sing.....but if you can talk then you have in your possession a gift that can bring about a lot of good.
And the scriptures say in the book of James that; “..if we know the good that we ought to do and yet fail to do it, then we sin.”
And also, a wise man named Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes chapter six .... “...the more the words, the less the meaning..” so I’ll close with two quotes from two totally different people; one that we’ve already read is from James where he says in chapter 3:6 that the tongue is like a small spark that has the potential to set a great forest on fire.
The last quote that I want to leave you with is from a certain bear who wears a forest ranger hat and holds a shovel. He reminds us of a most important fact, and that is; “only YOU can prevent forest fires.” God bless...
