HOW TO TREAT A NEW CHRISTIAN
Acts 9:19-31
INTRO.- ILL.- Bob Russell of the large Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY, tells this story about a young man he baptized while in college.
Bob said, "In my senior year at Bible college I met a tall, gangly basketball player from the University of Cincinnati. Neil stood 6’ 11" and weighed only 190 lbs. He had been a high school All-American from New York State.
"We struck up an unusual friendship, not only because of the contrast in our height (Bob is probably 5’ 8") but also because of our moral values. I’d grown up in a Christian home and was studying for the preaching ministry, but Neil had no Christian background at all. In fact, he was one of the most foul-mouthed persons I had ever met. When we would meet to go to a basketball game, for the first ten minutes he would just spew out profanity until he would remember that I was a Christian.
"About the only common interest we had was basketball, and we went to each other’s games. But as that friendship grew, I invited Neil to go with me to the country church where I was preaching on weekends. He was an instant hit with the people because of his height and they were an instant hit with him because they fed him every Sunday afternoon.
"He came with me several times and finally, the basics of the Christian life began to sink in. I had opportunities to study the Bible with him seriously on several occasions. Then one Sunday morning in that country church, Neil walked forward to give his life to Christ.
"His baptism was one of the most unusual I had ever participated in. The baptistery was right under the pulpit area. The pulpit had to be moved to get to the trap door. The candidate had to walk across the platform from the changing room. When Neil came out of the changing room, I could hardly keep from laughing. He had put on the longest baptismal robe we had and it still looked like a miniskirt. It came down to the middle of his thighs.
"He got into the baptistery and I baptized him in sections. (reminds me of a few I’ve had!) I thought I would never get him under the water. He probably thought I would never get him back up! But it was a great day of rejoicing as Neil surrendered his life to Christ.
"About two weeks later, a group of us from the Bible college were playing basketball at the local ‘Y.’ Neil was playing with us. He took an elbow to the ribs and winced with pain and then let fly a four-letter word. He shouldn’t have done that, but I was kind of proud of him because I had heard him use a lot worse than the one he selected! But one of the young preacher boys stopped the game and put the ball under his arm and said to Neil, ‘WELL, IS THAT ANY WAY FOR A CHRISTIAN TO TALK?’"
Bob said, "No, it wasn’t, but it wasn’t any way for a new Christian to be treated either! That young preacher boy failed to understand where Neil was coming from. He failed to be sensitive to his needs at that moment."
I agree with Bob Russell. That young preacher failed to demonstrate love!
Rom. 14:1 "Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters."
I Pet. 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
The demonstration of love toward one another is what we need most of all in life. We do far more good by demonstrating love than by demanding life or a certain way of life from someone.
That young preacher would have done better had he ignored that new convert’s foul speech. I suspect that the new convert felt bad enough without someone trying to make him feel even worse.
ILL.- Henry Drummond once wrote, "How many prodigals are kept out of the Kingdom of God by the unlovely character of those who profess to be on the inside."
There are times when we keep people out of the church and out of kingdom of God by our lack of love, by our unloveliness, by our bad disposition, not particularly our position on a certain subject.
ILL.- Preacher Wayne Smith said one time, "I’ve never apologized for my position, but I’ve had to apologize many times for my disposition."
Matthew 28:18-20 Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you..."
Jesus commanded us to make disciples, followers. He wants us to lead people to Him anyway we can: in the church, outside the church, on the street, in the mall, at the post office, in the grocery store, and especially, one-to-one.
Jesus not only wants us to make disciples, HE ALSO WANTS US TO SHAPE DISCIPLES. He wants us to help disciples grow in their relationship to Christ. Why? Because no one should stay where they are spiritually. No one should stay in infancy.
We need to help people grow in Christ! We need to do what we can in this area. It is said that the average church loses 50% of their people after a five-year period. That’s astounding!
Some people fall through the cracks, so to speak. They are not welcomed properly and made to feel at home. Some come into the church and just stay on the fringe. They never grow or go anywhere in their faith. They never get involved. Fringe people often stay away or stray away and for unknown reasons.
I’ve seen some people leave the church and for the life of me, I could never figure out why they left. That really bothers me. Of course, I will admit that I have been in some churches where I have been bothered because some people stayed in the church!
ILL.- I served in one church where the chairman of the elders thought he was a four-star general. All he did is create havoc and hellishness in the church. After the period of about a year the other elders had to dismiss him from his duties as an elder because of all the trouble he caused. If they hadn’t he could have split the church. And to divide a church is wrong as wrong can be!
Why do people leave the church? Sometimes it’s the fault of the church and sometimes it’s not. I have discovered that most people are going to do whatever they make up their mind to do, regardless of what the preacher preaches or what the church believes or what the leaders might do.
I am not saying that we don’t influence one another. We do, but perhaps not as much as we would like. Or perhaps not as positively as we would like.
I want to influence people for the good, for their good, for their betterment, for their spiritual growth. And when people grow in their relationship to Christ the more they will serve and get involved in the Lord’s work. And every Christian should be involved in the Lord’s work in some form or another.
HOW TO TREAT A NEW CHRISTIAN. This is a rather appropriate subject for our church because we’ve seen a lot of people come into our church over the last several years. What are we doing for these people? How do we treat them? Do we treat as well as we did when they first came to church?
Saul the persecutor became Paul the preacher, the missionary, etc. He did not come to believe in the resurrected Christ until he met him on the Damascus road. But he not only came to believe in him, he also came to believe in Him fully! He submitted himself to Christ and was baptized and later began preaching Christ.
PROP.- As a new Christian, Saul had several basic needs which all new Christians have. Let’s consider what we can do to meet these needs.
1- He had a need for acceptance
2- He had a need for understanding
I. THE NEED FOR ACCEPTANCE
Acts 9:19b "Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus." This verse doesn’t say much, but it says enough. Saul spent time with the disciples. He became accepted by them.
ILL.- A little boy had made his mom and dad very upset with him. So they made him sit by himself at a different table during the evening meal. After the meal was finished and everyone was getting up, the boy quickly bowed his head and prayed, "Thank you, Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
Brothers and sisters, in the family and the family of God, we are not to be enemies, but rather we are to embrace one another. We need to accept one another, regardless of differences or even different backgrounds.
Saul needed acceptance. He needed Christian friends and Christian fellowship, because his former friends were threatened by his new found faith and wanted to kill him.
When people leave the world and come into the church they need acceptance in a big way.
Rom. 14:1 "Accept him who faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters."
Rom. 15:1 "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves."
If a person becomes a Christian and has a strong worldly background, they often need even more love and acceptance.
ILL.- I heard about one young man who had come from a pretty wild life to accept Christ. And even though he had been wild he was very friendly, funny and everybody seemed to like him. People couldn’t help but like him. He wasn’t in the church very long when a man from his Sunday School class called him on the phone and said, "I was just wondering how you were doing tonight."
The new convert replied, "Well, I’m just sitting here all by myself realizing that I can’t have any women and can’t go out with my old drinking buddies. I was just thinking about the joy of the Christian life!"
I’m sure his words made an impact on his caller. And they should make a impact on us.
New Christians come out of the world and into the church and they need to be accepted, not left alone. They should be included as much as possible in all kinds of activities: food functions, fun times, and all kinds of fellowship, from our Spring Fling to Bible studies!
ILL.- Here is something very close to home to me. My son Shane moved to Arlington, TX, last August. He had a job when he moved there and he had my twin sister and her family as something of a support group, but no one else. We have a rather large Christian Church in Arlington. In fact, they run about 2,000 in attendance in two services. They seemed to be thriving and on top of things.
I contacted that church and asked them if they could help Shane move in. I figured that out of 2,000 people they could get somebody to help him unload his rental truck one evening. I actually called one of the ministers the day before. He said he would try to get someone to help, but sad to say, no one showed up to help. Shane moved most of his furniture into his apartment all by himself. After my sister and her husband got off work they went to help, but Shane had most things done by then.
Shane did attend the Christian church a number of times, but I felt he needed to be involved, he needed personal contact by the church. I called and contacted that church at least 12 to 15 times by phone or by email and asked them to please call and go see Shane.
I do know that they tried to call him on the phone and I think they got him one time and that was while he was at work. But I only know of one time that someone went by to see him and then he was either not at home or sleeping. I repeatedly tried to encourage them to contact Shane. Here was a young man, 21 years old, in a strange and very large city and no friends at all. Only my sister and her family.
I am not trying to be negative about that Christian Church. I think Shane was lost in the midst of all their members and their activities. I am just saying that we must do our best to make people feel welcome and accepted.
Acts 9:26-27 "When he (Saul) came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord...."
People were afraid of Saul. They weren’t sure about him, etc., but Barnabas befriended Saul, saying, "This man’s conversion is for real."
The church needs more encouragers and helpers like Barnabas. WHY NOT BE A BARNABAS? Why not be the first to step up to a new person, give them a hug and say, "We’re glad to have you. Would you like to go eat with us? What can we do for you? How may we help you? Would you like to go to a movie? How about a ball game? Or a game of golf? Or shopping? Or let’s go for a cup of coffee or a coke," etc.
New people need acceptance. We need to do all what we can to make them feel at home in the family of God.
II. THE NEED FOR UNDERSTANDING
ILL.- A lady said, "We accompanied our son and his fiancé when they met with her priest to sign some pre-wedding ceremony papers. While filling out the form, our son read out loud a few questions. When he got to the last one, which read: ‘Are you entering this marriage at your own will?’ he looked over at his fiancé. ‘Put down Yes,’ she said."
ILL.- One lady said, "On her golden wedding anniversary, my grandmother revealed the secret of her long and happy marriage." Her grandmother said "On my wedding day, I decided to choose ten of my husband’s faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook," she explained. A guest asked her to name some of the faults. "To tell the truth," she replied, "I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, ’Lucky for him that’s one of the ten.’"
ILL.- Someone said that marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
I think we all would agree that marriage is sometimes tough, even for the best of marriages. There are days when we just don’t see eye-to-eye and we don’t want to see eye-to-eye!
It takes work, hard work to keep a marriage in decent shape. There is no magic wand to improve a marriage or make it work.
ILL.- A man from the mountains of Tennessee made a trip one day to a large city. He walked into a fancy hotel to look around, since he’d never seen anything like it before. Suddenly, he found himself standing outside an elevator. He watched as an old, broken down woman hobbled into the elevator and the doors closed. A few minutes later the doors opened and a young, beautiful woman walked out. The father hollered to his youngest son, "Hey Billy, go get your mother!"
Brothers and sisters, there is no instant way to make a person better or a marriage better. It takes a lot of work, never-ending work. Hard work.
You get out of bed in the morning and go to work even if you don’t go to work. That is, you go to work on your marriage. You work at your marriage. You consider what needs to be done and you do it. And that’s the only way it will last or get better.
ILL.- A lady said, "Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. ‘You know, honey,’ I said sweetly, ‘without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married.’ ‘Honey,’ he replied with a grin, ‘without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!’"
In the marriage relationship, we must learn to "bear with one another in love." We must learn to overlook some things, physical or otherwise.
ILL.- Have you ever gone bowling? A perfect game is a score of 300. Did you ever come close? It’s doubtful. It is said that the odds of bowling a perfect game of 300 are about 225,000 to one.
Your chances of making a perfect marriage are probably even less. There is no perfect mate. If you are looking for a perfect mate. Well...good luck! There is no such creature.
The same principle applies to the church and our relationship to one another. If we are going to make it work, we must work at it. We must exhibit understanding and patience.
Acts 9:20-22 "At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. All those who heard him were astonished and asked, ‘isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on his name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?’ Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Christ."
Not many people start preaching soon after their conversion, but Saul did. He could have been classified as over-achiever. He could have been something of a nuisance, saying, "Let me preach! I want to preach! Let me! Please, please, please!"
No matter how the people looked at Saul, they needed to deal with him with understanding and patience. And the same thing holds true for us in regard to new converts. They will not always do right or do things that are right. We must be as understanding and patient as possible.
Listen to these Scriptures.
Rom. 12:10 "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another ABOVE yourselves."
Rom. 12:16 "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud..."
Rom. 14:19 "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."
Rom. 15:1-2 "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."
Some people have the thinking or the attitude, "I can’t please everybody and I’m not going to. I’m not here to please anybody but me." WRONG! God put us here to do things that will please, bless, edify, and help others!
We are in the "people business." If we’re not then something is wrong with our thinking. Jesus was in the "people business." He lived and died for people! He lived to serve people, to bless them, to bring healing into their lives, to soothe their aching hearts, etc.
Col. 3:12-14 "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
No relationship, marriage or otherwise, will be perfect, but it must be worked at in order to be maintained and improved.
ILL.- A couple married for 15 years began having more than usual disagreements. They wanted to make their marriage work and agreed on an idea the wife had. For one month they planned to drop a slip in a "Fault" box. The boxes would provide a place to let the other know about daily irritations. The wife was diligent in her efforts and approach: "leaving the jelly top off the jar," "wet towels on the shower floor," "dirty socks not in hamper," on and on until the end of the month.
After dinner, at the end of the month, they exchanged boxes. The husband reflected on what he had done wrong. Then the wife opened her box and began reading. They were all the same, the message on each slip was, "I love you!"
That’s exactly how we should be toward new converts and toward everyone in the church! There are times when we should overlook the faults of others and say, "I love you!" Those words will do more to bring healing, restoration, and reformation than almost anything else we can do.
I Cor. 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
I Pet. 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
We need to be understanding and patient with one and that will only happen when we love people genuinely.
CONCLUSION------------------------------------
ILL.- After a long absence from the stage, pianist Vladimir Horowitz was to perform in Chicago. Franz Mohr, the chief concert technician for Steinway and Sons, was assigned to make sure the piano was in perfect condition. He did so to the best of his ability, but wasn’t able to relax until Horowitz had given a brilliant rendering of his first number. As was his custom, the pianist left the stage -- but didn’t return.
Mohr was summoned backstage. "Where have you been?" exclaimed Horowitz. "I cannot play again. The piano stool is far too high!" Mohr nervously inquired at to the size of the problem. Horowitz held up his hand, his thumb and forefinger about a quarter of an inch apart.
If we are expecting perfection in everything in life, including people, we are going to be sadly disappointed. Our Heavenly Father is patient and understanding toward us in our imperfections. He accepts us in spite of our imperfections and we should do the same with one another. It’s called grace. It’s called love.
