We need to think not only about the way we relate to other
people, but also about how we receive them. It is not
enough simply to be friendly and cordial. We also need to
look at how we receive people when they extend themselves
to us.
I went to a meeting this week, where all the participants were
arranged at round tables. I did not see anyone in the room
that I knew, so I just sat down where there was a vacant
seat. It did not take me long to discover that all the other
people at that table knew each other, and were, in fact, all
from the same church. They had a conversation going about
some forthcoming church activity and were all abuzz with
that. But the four of them did acknowledge that there was
someone who was not in the loop, and they began to reach
out. They asked me who I was and where I was from, they
told me about their church activity, and just brought me into
their circle. It felt good, inclusive, loving. I noticed that my
own comfort level improved and that my ability to reach out
to them increased. I not only felt accepted; I felt ready to
reach out. Just because these folks had broken out of their
inner circle and had included me, I felt loved and thus ready
to give love.
We need to think not only about the way we relate to people,
but also about how we receive them. Not only about how we
love, but also about how we receive love. For the truth is
that some of us receive love, reject it for a time, but then
come back to it; and some of us have never known that we
are loved. God wants us today to know that whoever we
are, we have never been unloved.
These two kinds of people I have mentioned – people who
receive love, reject love for a time, and then grow to accept
it; and people who were loved, but never knew it – these two
kinds of people are not only addressed in today’s Scripture.
They are also illustrated in one of Jesus’ great parables. We
know it as the parable of the prodigal son, the young man
who wasted his share of his father’s gifts in reckless living.
There is another character who is important, too, and that is
the elder brother, who stands over in the corner, grumbling,
complaining, and feeling rejected. And then there is a third
character in the story – maybe the central character. One
Bible scholar says we should call the story the parable of the
waiting father. Jesus’ wonderful story illustrates so
beautifully the theme for today that I have asked these three
folks to climb off the printed page and to tell us their stories.
It was not easy, but we did persuade the waiting father, the
wasteful younger son, and the skeptical older son, to come
today and share their stories.
Let me ask them, first, to introduce themselves. Father, we
give priority to age. Will you be first?
The Father: Like many of you, I’ve spent most of my adult
years on two things: my work and my children. I have
worked hard and have achieved some success. I have
enough to live on and be comfortable, and I have enough to
give my sons a good start. I have enjoyed my work, and,
although it was not always easy, I have felt fulfilled in all that
I have done.
I was blessed with two sons. I saw in each of them, different
as they were, something of myself. They worked, as I had
worked. They succeeded, as I had succeeded. I was
pleased with my sons. But they are different personalities.
My older son was like my shadow. Whatever I did, he did.
Wherever I went, he went. It seemed he wanted to be
exactly like me. I loved this boy, and I love him now.
My younger son was different. He experimented. He tried
things. He went out on the edge and attempted things his
older brother never even dreamed of. He has been a
challenge. But I love him too. Always have and always will.
Thank you. Which of you brothers would like to go first to
introduce yourself?
Younger son: I will. I like to be out front. I’ll enjoy speaking
to this crowd !
As my father has told you, there are two of us, and I’m the
younger. I guess I’ve always felt restless, because my
brother was allowed to do things that they said I wasn’t ready
for. I wanted to tend the sheep, but they said I couldn’t, not
yet. I wanted to go to the village dances, but they said I was
too young for girls, and so he went. All I could do was sit at
my window and listen to the music. It just seemed to me, as
I was growing up, that nobody much cared whether I had a
good time. So one day I got my courage together, and
asked my father for my share of the inheritance, and I set out
to have a grand old time. I must tell you, I was surprised that
he would give me the money, but he did! I didn’t waste any
time getting out of here.
All right. Thank you. Now, older brother?
Older son: Well, I suppose. If I have to. But this is all very
confusing to me. I am not sure why I am here in the first
place. You want to talk about receiving love, and I don’t
think I have any experience with that. I don’t get into that. I
just do my job, do what’s right, and let it go. So what’s all the
fuss about loving and being loved? All I know is that when
this one over here went berserk for a while and then came
back home, my father fell all over himself welcoming him. I
didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now.
Father never did anything like that for me.
We’ll hear from this family again. Remember where we are
going today – that some of us receive love, reject it for a
time, but come back to it; and some of us have never known
that we have been loved. But God wants to tell us that none
of us have never been unloved.
I
Jesus spoke first to those of us who receive love, reject it for
a time, but then come back to it. He said what every
rebellious heart needs to hear:
They who have my commandments and keep them are those who
love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I
will love them and reveal myself to them.
I ask you not to read these words in a legalistic way. Don’t
read them as Jesus saying, “Well, if you do the right thing,
only then I will love you.” Read these words as a rhapsody
of love. Read them as spoken by one who throws himself
into love for us. I am not concerned with whether this
passage means that if we do not keep God’s
commandments, we forfeit God’s love. It doesn’t say that. It
speaks about an ecstasy of love where you and I and the
Father and Jesus – we’re all just basking in one another.
But the story of the prodigal son reminds us that getting there
is often a road through some swamps and some dismal
places. Getting to this place where loves abounds takes
many of us through some long byways and detours. This
younger brother was never unloved; he just rejected that
love for a while. He never killed it. He never stopped his
father’s love. He just didn’t accept it. And yet, the good
news is that because he was never unloved, love got
through to that young man and brought him out of that far
country.
I believe that most of us know, deep down, that God has
never stopped loving us. When things get tough and our
experiments get us into trouble, we’ll listen to our hearts and
we’ll understand that we were never unloved. You cannot
destroy the love of God, no matter how far away you go!
Young man, maybe you can help me preach this point just by
telling your own story. What made you think you could go
home again, after you had spent all the money your father
gave you?
Younger son: That was it! That was it! Remembering his
incredible generosity. You think about it – what I asked for
was ridiculous. I asked him to give me half of his property
long before he was in the grave. ‘Father, you are going to
die someday, and half of this will be mine. Since you do not
seem to be in a hurry to die, and I am in a hurry to live, how
about letting me have it right now?’ And he did! He did!
Isn’t that incredible?
So when my so-called friends deserted me, and my so-called
fun vanished, and there was nothing more in my so-called
life, I wondered who would care enough to help me. And
only one face came to mind. My father. Not because he had
to; not because I thought he ought to; but just because, as I
looked back on all that he had done, I knew that I had never
been unloved. And so I hoped that his love would take me
in, mistakes and all. And he did. He did, with far more
generosity than I could have imagined.
Younger son has told us what many of us need to do.
Whoever you are, wherever you have been, whatever you
have done, whatever you are doing now – and you know it’s
not right, you know it’s running from God, you know it’s
disobedient – whatever it is, look back on all that God has
given – life, health, opportunity – and you will know that you
have never been unloved.
So isn’t it time to come home? Isn’t it time to let the love
flood in? It’s time to turn from where you are. It’s time to be
obedient, for he says, “They who have my commandments
and keep them are those who love me; and those who love
me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them ..." It’s
time to accept the unending love of God, time to jump up out
of your seat, hurry in from the far country, climb out of the
pigsty, and become obedient to what God commands. For
you, younger sons and younger daughters, have never been
unloved. Grace has brought you safe thus far, and grace will
lead you home.
II
But there is that other sort of person. That one who has
done everything he is supposed to do, but isn’t happy. The
one who is just as correct as the day is long, but in whose
heart there is a block of ice, an emptiness. Some of us, you
see, are deficit personalities. We did not get our share of
human love when we were children, and down deep in us
there lingers a suspicion that no one could ever love us.
Maybe we were born into a home where father was absent or
mother was overtired. Maybe we lived in a community where
others around us put us down as different – different look,
different values, different attitudes. We just never got filled
up with our share of love. We became deficit personalities.
One of those deficit personalities spoke up when Jesus was
instructing his disciples:
[A disciple] said to him, "Lord, how is it that you will reveal
yourself to us, and not to the world?" Jesus answered him, "Those
who love me will keep my word, and my Father will love them, and
we will come to them and make our home with them. ...
This disciples couldn’t see the expanding circle of love. He
raised a question. He opened up his doubt. Can’t you just
see him lifting a quizzical eyebrow, “How is it...?” I can’t
believe this love stuff. I don’t feel anything. And how can
you love all these others out here? Suspicious, defensive,
troubled. These are the words of a deficit personality.
But we have someone here who knows about this first-hand.
Elder brother, can you tell us what you felt when younger
brother came home and your father welcomed him?
Older son: Felt? You want to know what I felt? How about
insulted? Devalued. Disrespected. It’s not right. It’s just
not right. He goes out there and makes a mess of everything
and gets the royal treatment when he crawls back. As for
me, I’ve done what was expected of me. I did my chores,
followed the rules, did all I was asked to do, and I got no
credit for it at all. To tell the truth, I don’t even think of
what’s-his-name as my brother any more. He may be our
father’s son, if that’s the way father chooses to have it, but I
don’t need him as my brother. He could go back to that far
country again as far as I’m concerned; in fact, I’ll bet he will.
I’ll just absolutely bet he will. And so where does that leave
me? Still hanging around here, doing the right thing, but not
appreciated? It’s not right, I tell you; it’s just not right that
anybody like him should get so much attention, and I get
nothing.
How hard it is for some of us to believe that in the heart of
God, we are never unloved! We are never unloved. But
some of us have, for one reason or another, been so
damaged that we never really feel loved. And if somebody
else gets love that does not deserve it, we worry that we’ll
get less than we deserve. It’s as though we think there is
only one little bucket of love, and if he steals a dipper’s
worth, there’s nothing for me.
Brothers and sisters, there is no competition for the love of
God! It’s not about whether if you get something, I don’t get
it. It’s not an either-or proposition, it’s a both-and story.
Some of us were so deprived of affection when we were
small, or we were in such damaging relationships, that we
just don’t believe it when God’s love is poured out on us.
And more, we don’t have room for others to fit into God’s
grace. Lifelong Christians, stalwart church folks, people who
were carried to church in a basket when they were two
weeks old and have not stopped coming since – I know,
because I am one of those – and suddenly there are all these
new members around, there all these folks who have not
paid their dues, and some of them have problems – what’s
that all about? It’s not about other folks, the new ones, the
ones from shady backgrounds, and so on. It’s about us. It’s
about how deficit personalities are afraid to trust themselves.
Brothers and sisters, if I had the eloquence of angels to
persuade you of any one thing, it would be this: that you are
never unloved. Elder brothers, older sisters, experienced
Christians, yet complaining, whining, chronically unhappy,
always suspicious, always worrying that somebody unworthy
is getting attention – oh, I pray that you will know today that
you have never been unloved. The father says to you as he
said to the elder brother, “Son, you have always been with
me, and all that I have is yours.” The love of God is not a
competition. “The love of God is greater far than tongue or
pen can ever tell; it goes beyond the highest star, and
reaches to the lowest hell. O love of God, how rich and
pure! How measureless and strong! It shall forever more
endure, the saints’ and angels’ song.”
III
Jesus promised us that we are never unloved. He promised:
I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you.
And then He guaranteed His promise:
Because I live, you also will live.
Jesus announces, with all the fervor of His heart, that we are
never unloved. Why don’t we just let the father assure us
that his love is enough for all of us? Why don’t we just hear
it directly from the father himself?
Father: All that I have is yours. If you have run off and have
done unspeakable things, still, if you acknowledge your sin
and start your way home, while you are still a way off, I will
see you and I will love you and we will celebrate. Or it may
be that you have never been away, you have worked for all
the right things, but still you feel dead inside. I tell you that if
you will set aside your pride, which is like filthy rags anyway,
and will open your heart to this your brother, together we will
rejoice. For what was lost can be found, and what was dead
can live.
What was lost can be found, and what was dead can live.
We are never unloved. The evidence is the Cross, where
God so loved the world – the world, that’s you and me, that’s
elder brothers and younger sons, that’s wayward daughters
and prim church ladies, – God so loved the world that He
gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever – whosoever,
that’s you and me, that’s elder brothers and younger sons,
that’s wayward daughters and prim church ladies – that
whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have
everlasting life. We are never unloved.
Because He lives, we too shall live.
