God’s Plan For Intimacy
Genesis 2:18-25
A small child came home from Sunday School and told his mother: "The teacher told us how God made the first man and the first woman. He made man first, but the man was very lonely with no one to talk to, so God put the man to sleep, and while he was asleep, God took out his brains and made a woman out of them.”
That teacher needs to go back and re-read the story of Creation. We’re going to go back to the beginning today also. To re-discover why God made things they way that He did, and why He made us the way we are.
I. The Dilemma of Adam
a. On six different occasions, God made the comment that what He had created was “good.” When he had completed all of the days of creation, He stepped back and looked at it all, and said it was “very good.”
b. But then, in Genesis 2, God made a startling statement. God saw something in His creation that caused Him to say, “it is not good.” And when God says something isn’t good – it’s not good.
c. What wasn’t good about it? Haven’t you ever wished that you could have walked with Adam? Imagine what it must have been like for Adam.
i. He had a perfect environment. No pollution, no traffic jams, no disease. His mind was not corrupt, his heart was pure. What wasn’t good about this perfect place?
ii. He possessed everything. He had access to anything and everything he wanted. No worries about food or clothes, no bills to pay, no IRS, no budgets, no retirement funds. Everything that His Father had created was his. What wasn’t good about that?
iii. He had an exalted position. God had put him in charge of….everything. He had dominion over all of the creation. There was no need to climb the ladder, he was already at the top. No insecurities, no jealousies, no pressure to perform. What wasn’t good about this place God had created for Adam?
d. Pay close attention to this. Adam had everything most modern people think is important. Yet, if something didn’t change, God knew that Adam wouldn’t be fulfilled. He might not even survive.
e. We live in a society that tries to con us into believing that a perfect environment, more possessions, and an exalted position, are what you need to live a happy and fulfilling life. The lesson we learn from Adam is that he had all of these things and yet it was “not good.”
f. Does this mean that if you achieve an exalted position – CEO, president, superintendent, chief, senior executive, professor, whatever – you still might not be happy? Does this mean that if you accumulate unlimited resources – stocks, bonds, 401K, real estate, automobiles, houses, etc. – you still might not be fulfilled? Evidently so.
g. What I had overlooked for many years, until it was finally pointed out to me, was that Adam had a perfect relationship with God. He walked and talked with God on a daily basis. He had intimacy with God! Some of you may want to stone me for this or label me a heretic, but just here me out. Although Adam had a perfect, intimate relationship with the Father, that relationship alone could not fulfill his deepest needs. There are needs in our lives that only God can meet, but there are other needs that God alone cannot meet. That was what God saw when He looked at Adam, and said “it’s not good.”
h. So what was not good about Adam’s situation? What was his dilemma? Apparently just one thing: Adam was alone. Adam’s aloneness was a significant problem that had to be addressed. God had created him with certain needs – physical, emotional and spiritual needs – and Adam could not meet his own needs. They could only be met through meaningful relationships with someone like himself, and a relationship with his Father God.
i. Let’s face it, we’re no different than Adam. We all have the same physical, emotional and spiritual needs as he did. We are born into this world needing attention, affection, approval, and comfort. And these needs don’t go away with age or maturity.
j. Yes, we all have needs. The problem we all face is how we’re motivated to have these needs met. Sometime these needs can pull so hard that, if we’re not careful, we’ll fall into one of three traps.
· Self-centeredness… can be seen in the person who is feeling “needy” and begins using every method at their disposal to have their needs met. They may use manipulation, demands, threats, and even conditional love. The tragedy is that “taking” will never bring the satisfaction we crave. Here’s a “reflection of life” scenario that illustrates the futility of “taking” to have your needs met.
Wife: “You never spend time with me; you’re always doing your own thing. This Friday night, could we go out for a date – just the two of us, without the kids?
Husband: “You know I’m busier now than I’ve ever been.”
Wife: “What about this Friday?”
Husband: “I have an appointment.”
Wife: “I knew it!”
Husband: Alright…I’ll rearrange it!”
Wife: “Oh, don’t bother.”
Husband: “No, you and me, Friday night, time alone.”
Chances are they’ll go out together, but the wife’s need for attention won’t be met because she had to demand that it be met. The husband wasn’t giving out of a loving, caring heart, he merely acquiesced to the pressure he felt from his wife.
· A take/take relationship is devastating
· A give/take relationship is frustrating
· A give/give relationship is fulfilling
· Self-Sufficiency…is believing we don’t have any needs, or believing that we can meet our needs all by ourselves. The church at Laodicea said, “We are rich, increased with goods and have need of nothing” (Rev. 3:17). Ironically, churches often propagate two very dangerous teachings in this area. The first goes like this: “If you were just spiritually ‘mature,’ you wouldn’t have any needs,” or “If you just had real faith then you wouldn’t have any needs.” The second sounds like this: “You don’t need anyone but God to meet your needs. You should never need anyone but Him.” Don’t you think the God who saw Adam’s need is the same God who sees your need? Don’t you think that God sometimes uses human relationships to meet many of our needs? If we swallow these false teachings we’re going to cut ourselves off from the gifts of grace God has for us. Everything He wanted us to receive from others, we’ll miss because we deceived ourselves into believing we didn’t need anyone else. And if we think we don’t need others, the we won’t realize that they need us. “I don’t need you, so why do you need me?” The truth is, we do need each other, and if we persist in our pride and self-sufficiency, God will resist us and we’ll miss out on the flow of His grace.
· Self-Condemnation…is a subtle trap that says, “I know I have needs, but I feel guilty because I do,” or, “What’s wrong with me – why am I lonely?” The truth is, if God created you with needs, then you’re not selfish just because you’re needy. In our natural selves we may choose to behave selfishly by demanding from others. But our sin is in the selfishness, not the neediness. Even the Son of God had needs. Jesus was not only a sinless Savior, but a person who expressed a need to relate intimately with His Father and with others. So Adam’s dilemma was his aloneness. But God solved Adam’s dilemma.
II. God’s Declaration of Interdependence
a. In Genesis 2:18 God declared that He would solve man’s dilemma. How did He do it? By creating another human that Adam could be intimate with on an equal level. God said, “I will make a helper suitable for him.”
b. What ought to be obvious to us from this declaration is this – we need each other! God never intended for us to live as hermits. He doesn’t expect us to be self-sufficient. Needs draw us together. Needs are the catalyst for intimacy!
c. Adam not only needed to relate intimately with his Maker, but God created him with a need to relate intimately on a horizontal level – with other people. Therefore, God ordained three divine relationships to fulfill this need:
· Marriage
· Family
· The church
d. Since God’s method of meeting our needs come through marriage, the family and the church, does it surprise you that our adversary will make every effort to steal, kill, and destroy these three institutions? Just as surely as God says, “I will create,” the Devil says, “I will destroy.”
e. Satan has been on the attack against marriage since the first marriage, and he continues his assault against marriage today.
f. Satan attacked the first family, and tempted one brother to kill the other. He hasn’t stopped.
g. Satan attacked the early church by killing Stephen. Today the church in America is rocked by scandals, inefficiency, wrong priorities, lukewarmness and worldliness.
h. In all of Satan’s attacks Jesus still promises us victory. Though Satan may rage, Jesus still provides a way of escape.
III. God’s Perfect Design to minister to our aloneness
a. These three divine relationships have been ordained by God to minister to our “aloneness.”
b. Marriage will not be for everyone, but God can minister His love and comfort to us through family and the church. Marriages may break apart and families be dysfunctional, but the body of Christ can and should minister as God’s “safety net” to meet people at the point of their need.
c. A wonderful thing happens in marriages, the family, and in the church when each one of us joyfully give to meet the needs of others. We are cooperating with God when we minister to one another. We are fulfilling His perfect design.
d. In 1 Thess. 2:8-9, Paul says, “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” Intimacy involves this “sharing of one’s life.”
e. Jesus portrays the perfect example of this. He portrays for us not only how to live intimately with the Father, but also how to give life to others. Think about it like this:
· Jesus had needs. For air, food, and water, and He also needed comfort, companionship, love and affection.
· Jesus communicated His needs. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he told his disciples. “Stay here and keep watch with me.” Communicating a need is a statement of humility and faith.
· Jesus experienced the pain of unmet needs. “Could you not watch with me for one hour?” He was a man acquainted with sorrows and grief, despised and forsaken. Jesus experienced the emotional pain of rejection, loss , disappointment and loneliness. Why? So that he could be a great high priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses.
· Jesus received from others. When Mary anointed Him with costly perfume, the disciples rebuked her for such extravagance, but Jesus received it without shame. Receiving from others produces humility and challenges our pride. When we refuse to receive from others we’re cutting off God’s grace in our own lives, and removing a blessing from the life of the giver. When there’s no receiving there’s no gratefulness, no praise, no worship.
· Jesus looked beyond others’ faults and saw their needs. Jesus never excused sin, but He always looked beyond people’s sin and saw their need. His unconditional love could separate a person’s “worth” from their sinful behavior. In fact, He demonstrated His love toward us in that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
If these three divine relationships function as God intended, we experience the intimacy of two becoming one in marriage, the joy of children truly being gifts from the Lord, and the church operating as one body. It’s this intimacy that turns the “not good” of our aloneness into the abundance of “it is very good.”
