WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN
EPHESIANS 5:25-33
(From song recorded by Percy Sledge & Michael Bolton)
Let me start this message by saying that I have discovered that there are a lot of men and women who really don’t know what to expect when a man loves a woman… Many of us have an idea based on what society tells us, but in the text. Paul helps us see what really takes place when a man loves a woman… (Question: Anybody in herein love…? Are there any married folk in the house who are in love…?) I need to ask, because when I look at the text, I discover that there are a lot of folks (especially women) who are looking for love in all the wrong places… And as a result, they are finding love in fake and fictitious people… When we examine the text, Paul allows us to see (1) What type of love it is when a man loves a woman and (2) Who exemplifies this kind of love, when a man loves a woman…
In the Greek, there are four words that explain love:
1. Eros Love: It is that sensual and sexual love… Makes your palms sweat, affectionate love, the kind that makes your heart go pitter-pat; It’s that romantic kind of love that when he comes through the door/ she steps in the place; your heart skips a beat… That’s not the kind of love that Paul’s talking about… But if you are married there ought to be some romance in your marriage… There ought to be some quiet time, when the kids are sleep, the dog is in out for the night… There ought to be some time for you to cuddle and tell her how she makes you feel… How you’ve been waiting for this moment all day…
But that’s not the kind of love Paul is talking about, because that kind of love is a fickled love… (Why) Because sometimes you do and she doesn’t… Sometimes the hustle and bustle of life will cause you not to feel romantic… (Eros love…)
2. Phileos Love: Where we get the word Philadelphia. It is a friendship kind of love… But that’s not the kind of love Paul is talking about either, because there are sometimes when friends will fall out…! There are some friends of yours (or so you thought) that you fell out with or they fell out with you! They’ve moved, left no forwarding address and even changed their number… But Paul isn’t describing that kind of fickled friendship love (Phileos love…)
3. Surgase Love: Family love… Those with biological connection to you… But Paul’s not talking about that kind of love either, because if the truth be told, you’ve got some kinfolk that if it were up to you, you wouldn’t claim them… You’ve got some cousins that when they show up, you want to just run and hide… But because they’re biologically tied to you, you put up with them… And since we’re being honest, there are some marriages that only because they have been going so long… (Cheaper to keep her… Surgase love…)
But that’s not what Paul is talking about here… Paul is trying to show us that when a man loves a woman, it ought to be an
4. Agape Love: A love that looks beyond your faults and sees my needs… A love that gives (commends) itself toward me… (Why?) Because Paul tells me that, “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us…”
(Trying to say…) When a man loves a woman, he ought to love her not with an Eros Love, not with Phileos Love, not with Surgase Love, but with an Agape Love…
So what happens… When A Man Loves A Woman…? IOW, what kind of love is it that’s demonstrated… When A Man Loves A Woman…? What is Paul trying to get us to see in this text…? When I look at Paul’s letter, the first thing I see concerning the example of When A Man Loves A Woman, is that it is…
I. A SACRIFICING LOVE (V 25)
(Text…) Husbands: Comes form the Greek word, which means a male species… It sets one apart from being immature… It’s a Sacrificing Love that can only be done by a man… ‘Love Your Wife…’ Notice that he uses the word ‘your…’ a personal pronoun… It doesn’t say love women, but love your wife…! Too many men are loving women and not loving their own wife…! Brothers get mad and say, “Preachers get all the sugar from the women…” But if you would love your wife, maybe she would stop running to the preacher for attention…! We’ll compliment every women we she, but talk about our own like she’s a dog… (What does make you…?) But the text says…
As Christ Loved… I don’t know about you, but to me, that sounds like a Sacrificing Love…! (Why…?) Because the text says that, “He gave Himself...” (Question: When was the last time you gave yourself for your wife [not to, but for]…?)
Gave: Comes from the Greek word meaning surrender… one who is willing to sacrifice self… (Help you women) Don’t ever marry a man who is not willing to die for you… Because a man who’s not willing to die for you is a man who is not worthy of you... You see Jesus Christ laid down His life for the church, and a man who is not willing to die for you.... Who’s not willing to give his all for you... Not willing to spend his last dime on you... (Trying to help...) Not willing to forsake all others for you... Is not worthy of you...! (Like the song said...) When A Man Loves A Woman... He can’t keep his mind on nothing else... He’ll spend his last dime... He’ll sacrifice for her... Because he understand that she is his joy...” (Trying to say...) When A Man Loves A Woman... It’s A Sacrificing Love... He’ll give himself for her... But not only is it a Sacrificing Love but it’s...
II. A SANCTIFYING LOVE (V 26)
When a man loves a woman, he takes her out of the chaotic situations of life... He takes her out of the chaotic situations of dating and meeting and sets her apart... (He sanctifies her...) He sets her apart from the hustle and bustle and sanctifies her because he has something invested in her... IOW, he sanctifies so that he might present her to himself...! (Help you men...) You need to learn how to sanctify (set her apart)... You say, “She just won’t do right...?” Sanctify Her...! “But she’s always...” Sanctify Her...! “But every time I try to...” Sanctify Her...!
Understand that when you sanctify her, you’re doing it in the expectation not of what she IS, but what she WILL BE...! (Help you again...) None of us are perfect...! But thank God that when He looks at us, He’s not looking at us based on where we are now... But He looks at us based on what we shall be...!
When a man loves a woman, he will sanctify her... He will set her apart... It doesn’t matter if she’s not perfect because he’s standing there in anticipation of what she will become... (What will she become...?) She will become glorious...
(Text) IOW, she will become all that God has invested in her... (Trying to say...) When A Man Loves A Woman... It is A Sacrificing Love... A Sanctifying Love... But it’s also...
III. A SUSTAINING LOVE (V29)
(Text...) Nourishes Her: Comes from the Greek word that means: to provide for... (Not trying to offend...) God set it up so that the man would be the provider...! I’m not saying that women can’t do it, but it’s out of God’s will for the woman to be the provider for man... (How do I know...? Picture...) According to God’s plan, Adam was suppose to be the provider and Eve was suppose to be the providee... But Satan convinced her to change to the role, and everything went downhill from there...!
(Help you ladies...) God is trying to honor you by making the man provide for you, and some of you don’t want your man to work...! When Eve brought home the bacon, it brought chaos into the world... (Point) Whenever you get out of the will of God, you end up with a chaotic mess...! (Help you men...) God wants you to be the provider for your wife...! (OK for woman to work, but that’s gravy...) (Personal example...)(Point) If I’m the king of the castle, I need a queen... And the queen can’t be the (my) queen if she’s a slave on somebody’s job...!
You see, because she’s my queen, she makes sure that I’m treated like a king... And the queen has no problem being submissive to the king, when he’s treating her like the queen... Folks will say, “I don’t see why he’s with her...?” It ain’t for you to see...! Because, as the king, I see the potential in my queen of what she shall be... (Same in the church...)
Folks will say, “I don’t see what Jesus Christ loves the church, they....” But the fact of the matter is that He too sees the potential of what they shall be... Because the Bible says that, “It has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is...” (I John 3:2) I’m trying to tell you that when a man loves a woman, it is: A Sacrificing Love... A Sanctifying Love... A Sustaining Love... But likewise it is...
IV. A SECURING LOVE (V29)
Cherish: To take care of... It means to keep her from hurt, harm, and danger... It means that when the hellhounds get on her track, you intercept so they can’t get to her... It means to protect her... Make sure she has food, clothes, and shelter... Not spending your all on the physical, tangible things, but she ought to be special to you... When she steps out, she ought to look good, because in actuality, she represents you...! When a man loves a woman, it’s a Securing Love... Because he treats her with warmth and tenderness... He cares for her with affection and he appreciates her... When a man loves a woman, it’s A Sacrificing Love... A Sanctifying Love... A Sustaining Love... A Securing Love...
V. A SOLID LOVE (V31)
(Text...) Joined (cleave): It means to give to... (Picture) If you take to items and put glue on one side and on the side of the other and put them together, it won’t be long until the two become solid...! When a man loves a woman, it’s a Solid Love... IOW, he doesn’t worry about what his mama says...!
Some men will never mature because they’re still mama’s little boy... (It’s all right to love your mama...) But he must recognize that a man must leave (let go of) mama and cleave to his wife in order to have a marriage (love) that is solid...!
When I started this message, I tried to tell you (1) What type of love it is when a man loves a woman... And I tried to tell you (2) Who exemplifies this kind of love.... But when I think about when a man loves a woman, I think about Jesus Christ being a man and the church being a woman…
When I think about when a man loves a woman... I think about Jesus Christ who became a (1) Sacrifice for the church...
When I think about when a man loves a woman... I think about how Jesus Christ exemplifies this kind of love in an excellent manner... Because He saved the church by (2) Sanctifying her unto Himself...
When I think about when a man loves a woman... I think about the Perfect One who (3) Sustained us in this love affair... Because the Bible says, “Whatever you need, God will provide...” (How do I know... Matt 6:33)...
When I think about when a man loves a woman... I think about Jesus because His love is a (4) Securing Love... Because I’m a witness that He’ll hold you in the midnight hour...!
When I think about when a man loves a woman... I thank God for a (5) Solid Love... Because no matter what you say about me, I’ve got a Solid Love affair with God...
And because it’s solid, I hear Paul saying, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ...? For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God...” (Rom 8:35,38-39)
All I’m trying to say is that the love affair I have with Jesus is A Sacrificing Love... A Sanctifying Love... A Sustaining Love... A Securing Love... (How do I know...) Because one day I was sinking deep in sin... But I’ve got a love affair with Jesus...! Anybody in here in love with Jesus...?
