How to be a Great Kid
Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV)
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--
3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Look at our world… Is it not a terrifying world? These past weeks, we hear of kids being abused by Roman Catholic priests in North America. We hear in Toronto, seven year old Randal Dooley whose birth mother said: "He died worse than a dog being hit by a vehicle” who was murdered and abused by his father and stepmother. Then we hear of A 19-year-old student who had been expelled several weeks ago went on a shooting rampage, all dressed in black, in his former school in Erfurt in eastern Germany, killing at least 18 people and wounding some six others. Most of those who died were teachers. Another Columbine! The problem even goes hi-tech, I was at a meeting in my kids’ school, and it was revealed many are being harassed and bullied on-line. Folks, this is the real world… how can we have great kids in a world like this?
Look around who are the heroes kids can follow. Sharon, Arafat and Bin Laden are touted as heroes in parts of our world. They have pin-up posters of them made! Who do we have here in North America? Bart Simpson, Britney Spears? This week we may have Spiderman but we’ve got to get real, no one in this world is going to be bitten by a genetically altered or radioactive spider. No one is going to get a spider sense. Most of heroes we have, are the GI Joe type that shoot and ask questions later. It seems to me, the heroes we have sure do not look very good. Our heroes seem to pepetuate a culture of violence. That tells me kids today will have a tough time to be great citizens or great kids, they will struggle. How can we help them?
The Bible’s remedy is…
A. OBEY: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (v.1)
Be a great kid eh? Remember in tht time when this was written, violence erupted there too like today. They were riots like the ones we just had on May 1, at a mall downtown. Kids were treated like slaves, just as child pornographer Robin Sharpe wants to do today. Yet Paul says...Just obey the parents that God gave us. It is within God’s will “in the Lord” …“for this is right!” In the original text the word “obey” comes from two words, “under” and “to listen”. Literally “to listen under”, i.e. a conscious and deliberate listening, listening so as to really hear.
Here’s a test to see if you listen well…
1. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
3. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
4. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
5. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
6. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
7. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
8. Once you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall.
9. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
10. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
11. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeet.
You won’t get the joke unless you listen well and take time to digest the info. It’s not that kids don’t listen, it is rather they don’t listen well. In one ear, out the other. It is same with adults too! Too many things complicate and compete for our ears.
In our culture the biggest culprit is TV. TV critic Michael Medved notes that families in USA began falling apart around 1960—the time the first generation raised on TV hit adolescence. These kids grew up on the wholesome sitcoms of the 1950s. Yet by 1965 the family, by every measure, had undergone massive deterioration. TV’s message is …
· Instant gratification: Every imaginable problem can be solved in thirty minutes. "And the whole point of commercials," Medved adds, "is to make you want things and to want them now." Both of these elements undermine obedience, does it not? Makes for lots of shouting matches and tantrums. Problems are seldom worked out patiently, caringly, for long-term growth.
· Relentless negativity: The focus of TV news is relentlessly negative, Medved observes. What is deemed news worthy, what gets top billing – only the shootings. Disasters, scandals, riots, who divorced who, gossip,
· Selfishness because it creates what Medved calls "the syndrome of entitlement"—the sense that we’re all entitled to "ceaseless arrays of ecstatic pleasures"—just like the characters on "Friends" or "Ally McBeal." Programs like these teach that if some aspects of our lives—like our responsibilities at home, chores, mundane things—are not endlessly exciting, we ought to replace them. That’s why families fall apart cuz it is not as exciting as an episode of “Survivor” or tantalizing and exotic as a movie like “Out of Africa”
To create an atmosphere of obedience, a culture of obedience, we need to begin to use our God-given brains and not turn it off when we watch TV programs. Ask questions. Don’t let your brains go to mush, or be a zombie. Are u blindly accept that the X-files message that the truth is out there, in fact the truth is that that show will be canned after this season. Or is your life based on truth of Christ? See His obedience that goes for long-term gain. See His sacrifice that will bring lasting peace for the world. See His cross, which tells of delayed gratification, to create a heaven for us, where sin and evil is eradicated forever. See the truth that will set u free. Listen well to God’s definition of obedience… it is an obedience of chosen love, that is optimistic giving hope, delays gratification, goes for long-term redemptive gain not short-term happiness.
Some years ago, Erma Bombeck printed a piece about having the meanness
parents in all the world. It went something like this:
I had the meanest parents in all the world. When I was seven years old they
dared to spank me just because I told them I would not do what they asked me
to do to help around the house. My friend next door never got spanked. He
didn’t have to help at home. He had nice parents.
I had the meanest parents. I had to eat all my broccoli and carrots before
they would ever let me have dessert. My friend next door never had to eat
vegetables. He had fast food brought in with burgers and shakes and brownies
with all kinds of ice cream.
I had the meanest parents. They made me go to church every Sunday as long as
I lived under their roof, sit there in that boring worship service. My
friend next door could do as he pleased. He never went to church. Sunday was
a fun day for him.
I had the meanest parents. They made me work for my allowance. I had to get
a job helping an elderly old man with chores around his house. My friend
next door never had to do anything and he was given four times as much
allowance as I could ever earn. He had nice parents.
I had the meanest parents. When I turned sixteen, they made me earn points
before I could drive the family car. My friend next door was given a brand
new luxury automobile. My folks had bought an old jalopy for me to get back
and forth to school, but you think I’d drive that hunk of junk and park it
beside those Jeep Wagoneers, BMWs, Buicks and Mercedes? My friend had it
made.
Or so I once thought, but, when we reached age thirty, I had a change in
perspective. I had learned that my parents were not so mean after all. I was
experiencing: the pleasure of work, the reward of recreation, the strength
of a healthy body, the bonds of a strong marriage, the inward confidence
that comes from faith and the wonderful supportive fellowship that comes
from the Church as a community of believers.
As for my friend, things were not going so well: he was not finding his
niche in the workplace, nothing seemed to satisfy him, he was having
difficulty getting along with people who were not willing to do everything
just as he thought he knew it ought to be done, his marriage had not lasted
even two years, his body was getting out of shape, and he evidenced a
cynical outlook without any under-girding that comes from the assurance of
faith.
Erma came to understand that obedience to her parents ways instilled in her
lasting, life giving values.
Wanna be a great kid – first, listen well to God’s word about listening and following through your mom and dad’s instructions.
Pro. 4:1 (NIV) “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.”
Of course, if your mom and dad say it is OK to steal rob, and murder, you got to report them to the authorities. There is no way abuse of kids is OK with God, in fact to balance things reads Eph 6:4, parents are told not to exasperate their kids but bring them up to follow God’s word, right? Though the kids are to submit, parents they are not there for your amusement to torture, but to bring Christ’s redemptive love to them. To show Christ, the wisdom of living in His will.
B. HONOR: "Honor your father and mother” (v.2)
What does it mean to honor?
Honor Webster’s Dict. Def’n is “high public esteem; fame; glory; to earn a position of honor.”
Original context of where Eph.6:2 comes from Exodus 20:3-17 i.e. the 10 commandments.
I.e. this is something which is very close to God’s heart.
Honor in original Hebrew means “heavy” “weight.” Literally, “to lay it on them” - today take it to mean flattery. But honor in God’s word meant “I weigh you down with respect and prestige. I place upon you great worth and value.”
Note 1st four commandments - dealt with relationship with God. Most commentators teach the next 6 as commandments re: relationship with people. But the Jews teach honor mom and dad as relationship with God. Why? Because parents represent God to us when we are young. At early age, foremost relationship is with mom and dad.
Not just “a hey how you’re doing” , or a “see ya later, go hang out with friends”, not just a casual but heavy, weighty relationship. I love it when my kids lay a heavy on me, spontaneous joy in them that comes with a kiss, hug, jump up and down, run up asking a kiss, hug, don’t mind all four lie on top, wrestle to ground, maybe mom’s won’t appreciate that esp. with Sunday dress on and hair all made up.
Faith in God according to the Bible becomes intensely practical, comes down now to relationship, not just rules with parents. Look carefully at passage, does it say honor parents who are perfect, good Christians, spiritually mature, who don’t make major mistakes, who don’t let you down?
No, God commands clearly honor them regardless of their performance, behavior or dysfunction!
Why? Obey them out of your commitment to Christ (5:21). It requires faith to believe that somehow God can use imperfect people like our parents to help shape us into people He wants us to be. If we want to experience more spiritual growth, we’ve got to pay heed in honoring mom and dad. Maybe parents don’t deserve honor, yet there are no ifs and buts about it, honor them, it’s in the OT and the NT, can’t say that it does not apply because it just OT stuff.
Honor does not mean to excuse them of their sin, or trivialize pain they have caused you, but it does challenge us to see the truth of Gospel that our faith rests on. What ‘s truth of Gospel? Even when we did not deserve to be saved, deserved damnation, we were paid the highest honor of God – He became like one of us, suffered like us and died on the cross like a common criminal and He did all that to forgive us and He said “Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” and he opened up His arms and say “I love you. ” Confession: not many parents know exactly what they are doing, so forgive and love them – honor. Furthermore, there are no refunds, you are stuck with the parents you’ve got. So instead of resentment, transform that relationship, with the redemptive love of Christ with honor. Lay it on them, a heavy one!
Point to make: Honoring your mom and dad is a good barometer of how much you have grown in faith, to be like Christ. Wanna check how you have grown spiritually? Check how heavy your relationship is with mom and dad! On a scale of 1 to ten, how much honor is there?
To really honor mom and dad especially sinful imperfect ones - drives us on our knees more, depend on God more because we begin to feel the pain of disappointment and the rage of being letdown. Why should I honor them, they have abused me, they have not been there for me, they have forfeited any honor that is due to them. But if we do move towards them in love, with Christ as our only backup, i.e. letting Him be our Rock, we will know in a richer way what it means to trust God with our pain, unfulfilled longings for unconditional love and acceptance that only God can give. As Smalley and Trent has said: “Rejecting our parents is robbing from ourselves.”
Ya got to know this is serious stuff with God.
How important is this to God? Check out Ex.21:15, 17 (NLT)
15"Anyone who strikes father or mother must be put to death.
17"Anyone who curses father or mother must be put to death.
and Deut.21:18-21
18"Suppose a man has a stubborn, rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. 19In such cases, the father and mother must take the son before the leaders of the town. 20They must declare: `This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a worthless drunkard.’ 21Then all the men of the town must stone him to death. In this way, you will cleanse this evil from among you, and all Israel will hear about it and be afraid.
Death penalty - catch your attention? God views this as absolutely crucial stuff. If ya wanna experience blessing from God, it is absolutely critical to honor mom and dad. And especially today start making decisions to lay a heavy one on Mom esp. next week and on dear old dad!
Honouring parents as Dennis Rainey points out, could include these things:
1. Choosing to place great value on your relationship with them
2. Taking the initiative to improve your relationship
3. Obeying them until you’ve established yourself as an adult
4. Recognizing what they’ve done right in your life
5. Recognizing the sacrifices they have made for you
6. Praising them for the legacy they are passing on to you
7. Seeing them through the eyes of Christ, with understanding and compassion
8. Forgiving them as Christ has forgiven you
You say give some more examples, I need help me to honor, not very creative
Smalley and Trent (p.43-44) in The Gift of Honor got several responses from parents of various ages who were asked “What could My Children do to honor me?” Here is a sample…
1. On a day other than Mother or Father’s Day, it would mean so much to get a card or letter from our children letting us know they’re thinking of us.
2. The greatest present I ever received from my son was a cassette tape that looked back on several specific things I had done for him in the past.
3. Even though it’s difficult for me to do, my daughter always makes a point of hugging me when we get together.
4. As a single mom, when my (school-age) children do chores without being asked, or additional chores, I feel honored.
5. It honors me to see my children reaching out to help others who have been less fortunate than they.
6. I feel flattered and honored when my daughter asks my advice on struggles and needs in her life.
7. We appreciate the way our children tell us the truth, even when it means disagreeing with us or expressing an opinion different from ours.
8. We know our children are praying for us every day and that honors us.
9. When I see my daughter seeking after God, I can’t think of anything that brings me more honor.
10. When my children were in their teen years, they came to us to talk about “taboo” areas like drinking, sex and drugs.
11. Watching the way my son treats his wife and children, and hearing him say he learned it from us, is something that is more valuable than any present he could give me.
Honoring your parents is an attitude accompanied by actions that says to your parents:
“You are worthy. You have value. You are the person God sovereignly placed in my life. You may have failed me, hurt me, and disappointed me at times, but I am taking off my judicial robe and releasing you from the courtroom of my mind. I choose to look at you with compassion - as people with needs, concerns and scars of your own.”
Will you? If you do according to God’s word, you’re gonna be blessed “And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.”
C. BENEFITS:
“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth “ (v.3)
Practicing what you believe has great benefits. You may just have a better quality of life and longer one too. Dr. David Larson in his research, (as quoted in Chuck Colson’s Breakpoint.org article Mar. 19, 2002) “noticed a surprising pattern: The published data showed that religion, far from causing harm, actually helped protect against both mental and physical disease.
For example, studies have shown that older adults who frequently attend religious services may have healthier immune systems. Heart patients with strong religious beliefs are much more likely to survive surgery. Church-going folks also have lower blood pressure, even when risky behavior like smoking is factored in. Most dramatic of all, the simple act of attending church each week is linked with reducing risk of earlier death by about twenty-five percent.
Religious commitment also protects people from addictions and mental disorders. Consider: Alcohol abuse is highest among those with little or no religious commitment. Studies have found an inverse correlation between religious commitment and drug abuse in youth. The non-religious are also much more likely to suffer from depression and to commit suicide.
The standard view that associates religion with psychological problems does have one small kernel of truth. Larson found that people who believe in Christianity but don’t practice it do experience greater stress. People who believe in God but who neglect church attendance and Bible-reading, who are divorced or abuse alcohol, show higher levels of anxiety than the general population.
In short, the inconsistent Christian suffers greater stress than the consistent atheist.”
Dr. Larson’s scientific data affirms the truth of the Bible – that God somehow honor people who from early on practice what they believe. This could be a wonderful tool for witnessing, telling people forget buying into wrinkle or age-delaying skin creams, or looking for some fountain of youth, come to church, meet God and God’s people, practice true living faith, you’ll be better off! As Colson said: “Christians believe that God created humans to have communion with Him, and to live according to His laws. If we live contrary to God’s plan, the research shows that we pay a steep price in stress, depression, family conflict, and even physical illness.”
Conclusion:
You will pay a price for not being a great kid. Why not eh? Live better, longer, richer, Be a great kid?
Kids, commit your life to Jesus today. Be faithful to His church whom He loves and gave His life for. Join the youth group, classes, anything to help you follow Jesus better. He is the One who saved you and loved you. He is your security. He is your hero. He is the one who perfectly obeyed. Heb.5:8 (NLT) “So even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.” He could have not gone through the suffering but he went for the long term gain, because of that the world can be saved through His sacrifice. Learn from Jesus.
Perhaps you want to say to God: “I struggle to be a great kid. I mess up a lot, thank You for loving me and taking away my sins. Thank you Lord Jesus, for thinking about me, in a terrifying world. Please showing the way. Help me to forgive others as You forgave me and gave a new chance everyday. Help my mom/dad who are doing the best they can. Help me to show them Your love. Amen.”
Make a decision to obey the best you can, will you? It has to come from your heart, understanding truth is not out there, but in here, your heart that submits to Jesus’ way.
Go and lay a heavy one on mom/dad. Honor them. What can u do to show them value/respect, worth?
Last, don’t forget to claim God’s benefits for being a great kid.
