OPEN YOUR BIBLES TO GENESIS 3 & EPHESIANS 5:22
1. It’s easy to become confused & mixed-up in this society of ours.
a. So many opinions of what is right & wrong.
b. What is moral & immoral - correct & incorrect.
c. What is the role of the wife? The role of the husband?
d. What’s the proper definition of a marriage?
e. No longer are the words marriage, husband & wife used.
f. In their place are words like, ‘significant other’, ‘life partner’, ‘house buddy’, and the like…
2. SO What voice do we listen to? Where do we yield?
a. AS CHRISTIANS… our final voice is the WORD of God.
b. As the Creator & Sustainer of all things, He has spoken to us clearly in His Word and has a plan & purpose mapped out for every facet of life!
Heb. 1.1-2 God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, 2 has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds;
Paul the Apostle has already described life apart from God’s plan.
· Turn back to Ephesians 2:1ff & 4:17ff
· Things have changed for us who know Jesus personally and intimately… Life’s direction is different… stronger.
· It’s rooted in personal holiness and practical obedience!
SO FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, we will be on a biblical journey.
· God will unfold for us before our eyes, His order & plan for the home and the workplace.
· We will understand the roles & responsibilities of the:
· Husband… the wife… the children… the employee/employer…
THIS MORNING we begin with the wife… in 5:22-24
What an important, life changing person… the wife.
Now… Right at the beginning… I recognize that ‘submission’ is not a popular word in our culture today…
· What the Word of God says won’t be the topic on Oprah, or the latest best seller at Barnes & Noble.
· But I also recognize that it is a misunderstood truth.
· Submission is not an excuse for someone to make anyone a doormat, or whipping post.
· But it certainly has been used that way. WRONG!
But as we speak of submission, it may make some of you respond in the flesh, in the old person… You might get upset or disturbed…
· My prayer has been that this section of Scripture will motivate us as a church, revitalize our homes, and make us shining lights throughout Aurora…
WARNING: Be careful Ladies that you don’t fall into the trap thinking that men are your enemies… thinking men hate you… thinking perhaps that I don’t like you…
· I love you women as a shepherd does his sheep.
· I think you are the greatest gift that God has ever given us.
As some wise guy once said, "A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he’s finished!"
· As moms, as wives, as single ladies, as divorced or widowed…
Oh… to see a marriage saved! To see a couple ready for marriage.
· To see a person obey & surrender their will to Jesus… Awesome!
YOU SEE many years ago I learned that I had to be a God-pleaser and not a man-pleaser as a pastor… as a shepherd.
· God has called me to teach His Word, to give the full counsel of all He has to say to our families and homes.
· I want to present the Word to you and give you something to wrestle with, pray over, and decide upon.
· The choice is before all of us…
· We can either walk the way of the World OR of the LORD.
I. (5:22-24) The Submission of the Wife
There are really two words that describe the role of the wife in the family… submission & subjection.
1. (22) Submission is a POWERFUL WORD.
a. It literally means to “serve, willingly respond, to yield”
b. The wife is to yield & willingly respond to her OWN HUSBAND as to the Lord.
NOTE: We begin speaking to wives this morning but it is only the first half of the biblical roles for the home. GUYS… NEXT WEEK!
· BUT Husbands, when you throw around passages like this, and demand submission, and demand respect…
· You’re not being Scriptural or Spiritual!
· As a matter of fact, if this word is used, the home is upside down
MEN your wife is not your personal slave. She’s a helpmate, a perfect complement to the husband.
· I know that to be absolutely true, because Marie told me to tell you that!
Consider the life of John. He finally went to the doctor after weeks of serious symptoms. The doctor examined him carefully, then called his wife into the office.
"Your husband is suffering from a rare form of anemia. Without treatment, he’ll be dead in a few weeks. The good news is, it can be treated with proper nutrition."
"You will need to get up early every morning and fix your husband a hot breakfast--pancakes, bacon and eggs, the works. He’ll need a home-cooked lunch every day, and then an old-fashioned meat-and-potato dinner every evening. It would be especially helpful if you could bake frequently. Cakes, pies, homemade bread--these are the things that will allow your husband to live.
"One more thing. His immune system is incredibly weak, so it’s important that your home be kept spotless at all times. Do you have any questions?" she shook her head NO.
"Do you want to break the news, or shall I?" asked the doctor.
"I will," the wife replied.
She walked into the exam room. The husband, sensing the seriousness of his illness, asked her, "It’s bad, isn’t it?"
She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "What’s going to happen to me?" he asked. With a sob, the wife blurted out, "The doctor says you’re gonna die!"
NOTE: In the very beginning of time, when God created Adam…
· He breathed life into Adam and Adam came alive!
· It was Adam’s job, before the fall, to name the animals.
· So the elephants passed by, the giraffes, the monkeys…
· But none of them were a complement or match for him.
· Imagine the discouragement & disappointment.
Genesis 2.18 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."
God then took out a rib from Adam’s side and formed Eve and brought them together and performed the first marriage ceremony.
· Wife & the husband are perfect complements to one another.
YET along the way… man’s fallen nature corrupted this relationship. Men, especially began to act superior toward ladies.
· The Jews used to pray this prayer: “God, thank you that I’m not a Gentile, that I’m not a woman, and that I’m not a dog.”
· The Romans believed that a woman was just one step above a slave and many steps below a man. Women were the property of the husband and treated like a child.
· But God has said in His Word…
Gal. 3.28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Jesus Christ has truly LIBERATED women, placing the highest value possible upon you ladies… His own precious life!
Important to understand the point made here by the Holy Spirit…
· He is speaking of roles & responsibilities, not value or worth.
NOW: A key to understanding Biblical submission is to realize that Jesus Christ is the greatest example of submission.
· He was wholly submitted to the Father’s will.
John 4.34 Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.
John 6.38 "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.
Luke 22.42 "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."
· Jesus Christ, God the Son, willingly & voluntarily submitted…
· We look to Jesus as our Supreme example of submission…
NOW Let’s jump back to 5:21 for a moment…
· Submission in the home, begins with mutual submission to Jesus!
· Mutual submission in the fear of the Lord.
· There is a needed ATTITUDE and a needed ATMOSPHERE.
#1 - The ATTITUDE IS: A RECIPROCAL submission.
· HUSBANDS we have a responsibility to the be the spiritual head
· But it’s clear there is mutual submission necessary in the home!
#2 - The ATMOSPHERE?: Well, its A REVERENCE of the Lord.
Q: Is there a ‘fear of the Lord’ in your homes?
· A ‘Fear’ of the Lord is a healthy respect, awe, and reverence for God in His power and majesty.
· Is there that fear, that respect of God in our homes?
Unfortunately & Tragically: This FEAR has faded in recent years in the church. – A recent survey found…
· 25% of Christians lived together without ever getting married.
· Born again Christians are just as likely to get divorced as are non-born again adults. Overall, 33% of all born again individuals who have been married have gone through a divorce, which is statistically identical to the 34% incidence among non-born again adults.
APP: The world has not just crept into the church, it’s rushed right in and made itself at home in our pews & sanctuaries.
· But with a few decisions… with a few choices, we can stop it.
· The right ATTITUDES… the right ATMOSPHERE… Creates a home:
· That’s balanced, full of love, respect, & humility.
And so the Holy Spirit speaks through Paul:
· Wives, submit, willingly yield, voluntarily surrender to your husbands as you do to Jesus Christ.
Submission is not natural is it?. It runs counter to our human nature because in our flesh, in our old man, we refuse to submit to anyone or anything…
· You see it all over our culture today… Anarchy. Bumper stickers that say “Question Authority”.
· Movie stars & cultural icons exchange wives/husbands like cars.
· We don’t want to submit. We want to be the boss, one in charge
Romans 8.5-8 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
APP: By being in the flesh, we have a real HOSTILITY & OPPOSITION to the things of God. That’s our natural response.
· But to be spiritually minded brings life and peace.
According to Genesis 3, sin created an antagonism between the sexes, a battle between man & woman that still exists today!
· YET in Jesus Christ, Marriage is a cooperative effort.
NOTE: A biblical, Christ-centered marriage thrives in today’s world.
· Wives, submitting to their own husbands.
· Husbands, loving your wives as Jesus loves the church.
· Recognizing together God’s order in the home, God’s make-up.
· Submission is easy for a wife when she feels secure in a husband’s love for her, unconditionally. She knows without a doubt that he will be there for her!
Those are the roles but you can only do it by God’s strength.
· Marriage can be the most exciting thing earth, the closest thing to heaven on earth.
· People should be able to look at our marriage and see the mystery of Jesus Christ’s love for His church.
· But, Marriage can become a miserable hell on earth when husbands and wives do not pick up on their God-given roles.
· It takes work, diligence, and effort to invest in our marriages.
NOTE: There’s this natural but unspiritual desire in both the husband & the wife to rule over the home, to exact a power trip on each other…
· With the RIGHT ATTITUDE OF MUTUAL SUBMISSION.
· And the RIGHT ATMOSPHERE of a healthy fear of the Lord.
· The wife’s loving submission to the husband…
· And we’ll find in our next study, the husband’s responsibility to love his wife as Jesus loves the church…
SOME OF YOU WIVES MIGHT BE THINKING… ‘That’s fine and good Ed, but you don’t know my husband.’
· “He’s no Jesus Christ, that’s for sure!”
· He’s a CREEP and a real tough cookie…
· That’s not where Paul is going here… He’s not giving us an out.
· He says, in the same attitude you surrender yourself to Jesus, surrender yourself to your husband. Don’t rule over him.
· Look again at Ephesians 5:23-24
NOTE: There are many born-again women, who lead their homes and rule over their husbands… contrary to the Word of God.
· Sometimes it’s because the husband isn’t fulfilling his role.
· Sometimes it’s because the husband doesn’t have a strong walk.
· Other times the wife is truly more spiritual than him.
· But I’ve found the more spiritual a woman truly is, the deeper she will desire to do that which pleases Jesus Christ.
· Let’s turn to 1 Peter 3:1ff
· Submit to him… WHY? This may be the only way he gets saved.
BUT ED… my husband is a tyrant… He’s saved but you wouldn’t know it… there isn’t any fruit in his life.
I realize that there are some extreme cases out there…
· Drugs involved, sexual abuse, physical abuse, dangers to kids…
· Those are the times when you get out and surround yourself in the help of the fellowship.
· But see, most homes are upside down because of disobedience and apathy and spiritual darkness.
Solomon had a lot to say about marriage…
· AND HE SHOULD KNOW… he had 700 wives and 300 concubines!
Prov. 19.14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.
Prov. 12.4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
APP: By submitting your lives to Jesus and your husband, you may win him, you might soften him… and find a home filled with peace…
In a messed up marriage, in a difficult home…
· All it takes is 1 PERSON to begin to right the wrongs in a home.
· All it takes is 1 PERSON to begin to fulfill God’s role and watch Him bless your obedience and commitment to Him!
CONCLUSION -- And so as we look at our homes, at our roles…
It doesn’t matter if everyone is getting divorced…
It doesn’t matter if friends are living according to God’s Word…
It doesn’t matter what this world says is OK…
· Let’s follow Him no matter what the cost!
1 Samuel 15.22-23 Then Samuel said: "Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. 23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king."
ILLUSTRATION: I was interested in reading this past week of 4 seasoned Bible scholars who were arguing over which Bible translation was best. One said he preferred the King James because of its beautiful, eloquent, though ancient old English. Another said he preferred the New American Standard Bible because of its literalness and the way it moves from passage to passage with extreme accuracy to the original languages. A third man preferred the New Living Translation because of it’s simplicity in getting the message across although it was a literal translation.
But the fourth man said, “I personally preferred my Mother’s Translation.” And when the men chuckled, he said, “Yeh, she translated it. She translated into life. It is the most convincing translation that I ever saw!”
