The Church God Blesses: Part Two
Cornerstone Church
Rev. Gary A. Shockley
March 17, 2002
“The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” (2 Chronicles 16:9)
There are churches all over the world. Some have been around a long, long time. Some are brand new and meeting in strange places. But what kind of church does God search for and seek to bless?
1. First and foremost a God-blessed church has a great commitment to the great commandment. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, and all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37) Everything a God-blessed church is and does flows out of a passionate and unquenchable love for God and a desire to be and to grow in relationship with Him.
Last week we talked about Christianity as a kind of renegade faith that is not about religion but about relationship. It’s not about rules, regulations and rituals but about a personal, growing, life-transforming relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ.
A God-blessed church has a great commitment to the great commandment.
2. A God-blessed church has a great commitment to the great commission. “Therefore, Jesus said, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all that I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:18-20) And Jesus said, “in addition to the first and greatest commandment- to love God with heart, mind and soul—is a second and equally important commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves.”
A God-blessed church is always reaching out to meet people where they are-- to find a need and fill it and to find a hurt and heal it-- and to help others experience God’s love for themselves. A great commitment to the great commission.
3. I want to add what I believe is a third quality found in God-blessed churches and that is a great commitment to a great community—a passionate and unquenchable love for each other as the people of God.
Jesus said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples!” (John 13:35) A fighting, quarreling, bickering church, where people are polarized and doing their own thing is evidence that God’s blessing is not there. Have you ever been in a church like that? You can smell it as soon as you open the door. You can feel the ugly vibes in the air!
A God-blessed church has a great commitment to a great community. It we will be committed to these two things:
Cooperation- I heard someone say there are two ways Christians are united together. One is be being frozen together, and the other is by being melted together. Guess which one God wants?
In a peanuts cartoon Lucy demanded that Linus change TV channels, threatening him with her fist if he didn’t do it. “What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over?” Linus asks. “These five fingers,” says Lucy. “Individually they’re nothing but when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold.” “Which channel do you want?” Linus asks. Turning away, he looks at his fingers and says, “Why can’t you guys get organized like that?”
A God-blessed church is filled with people who function as a team. United by a common mission, guided by a shared vision, committed to doing God’s will together.
Listen again to what the Bible says about cooperation in Philippians 2:1-2
There is no room in the kingdom of God—and I would add in a God-blessed church- for lone rangers! We are in this together or we are not in it at all! A great commitment to a great community means cooperation. Secondly, I believe it requires:
Conflict Resolution- conflict is an inevitable part of human relationships. If you don’t experience some conflict in your marriage, your parenting, your work, your family—then you’re probably dead or you’re not being very real with others.
Anyone who knows me well will tell you I am not afraid of conflict. In fact my staff would probably tell you that I enjoy creating a certain amount of conflict. I see that as part of my job. Know why? Because out of conflict comes incredible creativity, new directions, new relationships, new possibilities—if you deal with it properly. That’s the key!
The Bible can inform us here. We read in the book of James chapter one verse 19, “My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.”
Now, does the Bible say, “Never get angry? Never be in conflict with another person?” No, because God knows as emotional creatures that’s going to happen. There are times when we’re going to hurt or be hurt by someone’s words or actions. God’s Word says, in Ephesians 4:26, “Don’t sin by letting that anger you feel gain control over you.” Circle “gain control.” And then it continues, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.” In other words, when you are angry at someone—and you will be—whether it’s your spouse, child, parent, co-worker, church member—whoever it will be—don’t sit on it—work quickly to resolve the conflict.
A couple of practical things here I have learned over the years. The first has to do with a way of preventing conflict and the second is a plan of action for resolving conflict once it happens.
1. How to prevent conflict: I have seen more relationships get really messed up because of something called “triangulation”. It’s easier for me to illustrate what triangulation is. I said something to Wally that hurt her feelings. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t my intention. But she was hurt by what I said. Instead of coming back to me directly to tell me how she was hurt and giving me a chance to reconcile Wally calls Ken. Ken hears her story. In fact he encourages her to tell all the juicy tidbits. Now he’s feeling badly for Wally—and is upset with me—so Ken calls me to tell me how upset Wally is. Now we have a triangle of conflict. And here’s how the poison spreads. What was once between me and Wally is now between Wally and me and Wally and Ken and Ken and me. So now I have two conflicted relationships. But what happens then when Ken mentions something to Steve at band practice and then Steve goes home to tell his wife Michelle? Next thing you know everyone is upset with someone and the conflict becomes unmanageable.
It doesn’t have to be this way! When Wally went to Ken he could have stopped the triangulation by saying, “Wally, I’m not the one you need to be talking to about this. You need to talk to Gary and tell him how you feel.” Wally would have called me and we would have worked it out without it spreading anywhere else. See how much more effective and healthy that is? Now, remember that the next time someone tries to pull you into a triangle!
Okay, but what do I do now that I’m already conflicted with someone?
This will surprise you but let me quickly give you an acronym I found recently as a way of showing you a healthy plan of conflict resolution. If you’ve been wronged go for P.E.A.C.E.
P- pinpoint the hurt. Stop and think about why you feel hurt. What did that person say or do that made you feel hurt or angry? Was it what they said? Was it something in your life that made you hear what they said in a hurtful way? Take some time to gain perspective and try to pinpoint the hurt.
E- Engage the other person in dialogue. After you’ve gained a little perspective on how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way invite the other person into a conversation. The Bible says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” In other words deal with it as quickly as you can. Call the other person. Don’t rely on email or letters. Call them in person.
A- Address the issue in love. Begin by affirming the relationship. Describe how you’d like things to be between you. Then describe your feelings. Identify the specific action or words that hurt you. Be honest but remember you are doing this in love. If your intention is to get even or inflict guilt on the other person God will not honor that. Instead approach them with the intention of making the relationship even better than it was before.
C-Consider their response. Really, really, really listen. Often times you’ll find they didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe they’ve been going through some tough stuff and it’s effected the way they dealt with you in that moment you were offended. We never know what’s going on behind the scenes of another person’s life. We need to consider their response.
E- Extend forgiveness. This is where you ultimately bear responsibility. Will you forgive or hold on to the anger? Forgiveness is the path to your own wholeness. It’s also the path to God. Jesus said, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14) Extend forgiveness. Say it verbally. Go for peace!
I want to encourage you this morning that if you have been out of sorts with someone else—even someone in this room-- then do not leave this building until you’ve had a chance to commit to being reconciled.
A God-blessed church has a great commitment to a great community that cooperates as a team and is committed to conflict resolution. We’ve got some work to do here-don’t we? Let’s ask for God’s help…
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen” (The Prayer of Saint Francis)
