Introduction: Submit. It’s not a word that our society likes! America celebrates personal freedom. Our forefathers, tired of submitting to the English government, wrote a document know as the Declaration of Independence. The very premise of this document is that freedom is given by God, as this famous portion reminds us, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” There is a truth reflected in that statement that often gets twisted. God did create all men equally. But God is a God of order also. Our forefathers recognized that truth too. That is why they established a new government. Society without order, without laws, would run amock. There needs to be submission of citizens to government, and government to established laws.
Well, in our sermon text today, God shows his people the order He established for marriage way back in the perfection of the Garden of Eden. He created man and woman equal before Him. Both were holy. Yet, both were given specific roles. The husband was to be the leader. The wife was to be his companion and helper. Because of sin, that relationship has been corrupted among man and woman over the ages. Tragically, because of sin, men have treated women as objects of conquest and women have rebelled against their God-given role.
So, when Christian husbands and wives carry out their God-given roles, they face ridicule and scorn from the world. Not only does the World rebel against this teaching of God’s Word, but Christians find their own selfish, sinful nature rebelling.
What is the remedy? Paul reminds us that by the miracle of baptism, Christ has made us spotless and holy, Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. As His Church, we have the opportunity so show our love and gratitude for His grace by embracing the roles He has given to each one of us. So we are urged in our text today, Serve Christ Every Day. As a wife, be submissive to your Husband (21-24) and As a Husband, love your Wife (21, 25-31).
I. As a wife, be submissive to your Husband (21-24)
Our text begins a portion of God’s Word which has been labeled the table of duties. Starting in 5:22 and going through 6:9, Paul addresses members of the Ephesian congregation in the positions they fill in life. You will notice that at the start of our text, Paul lays down an overarching principle, 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. It doesn’t matter, whether you are husband or wife, parent or child, master or slave, this principle is to be applied to all.
But added to that principle, Paul gives specific instructions to each believer in the station they have in life. Our sermon text is applied specifically to husbands and wives. Paul addresses the wives first: 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. God is saying that wives, if you really want to serve Christ every day, then submit to your husbands in everything.
Everything?! That goes against the grain of the American ideal of what a woman should be! It shouldn’t surprise us. The feminist movement in America goes against the very core of what God says. Such rebellion against the proper role of a wife started in the late 1800’s and came into full bloom in the mid-1900s. In 1963, Betty Friedan wrote a book titled ’The Feminine Mystique.’ She observed that many college-educated women did not use their training but, as she put it, “remained in their homes resigned to being housewives.” In 1966 she organized the National Organization for Women (NOW). NOW is openly hostile to men, viewing them as the oppressors of women and denouncing them for regarding women solely as sexual objects.
Their philosophy has tarnished the views which this generation upholds. Unfortunately, there are some very tragic consequences for the views of feminism. If you believe that you are your own person, even in marriage, you are dividing the unity which God established in marriage: “The two will become one flesh.” If a wife will not give up her promising career to nurture her family, there can be serious consequences. Our society questions why any woman would submit to her husband. After all, according to them, no liberated woman would “subject herself,” or “be subordinate” to a man, let alone “obey” him! The consequences: A tragic rise in divorces. Broken homes. Children raised by people who are not even their parents. Freedom from God’s will leads only to disaster!
God wants to bless marriages. He wants them to be full of joy. So He explains that following His will, that is wives submitting to your husbands, is pleasing to Him. When you lay things into the hands of your husband, God is pleased.
Illustration: The example which Paul gives us serves beautifully. He wrote, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Can you imagine what chaos would abound if the Church decided, “No, Lord, that whole thing about my sins being forgiven by your sacrifice, well, that just isn’t good enough for me.” Or what if the Holy Christian Church would say, “Lord, I just don’t thing you know how to rule over all creation for my sake very well.” We trust the Lord who has won salvation for us. We lay things our problems and cares before Him. That is the example that God has given for Christian wives. Trust your husband in everything.
Application: Maybe you are single and not married. Maybe you are in a marriage, where your husband doesn’t share your faith. God addresses you too. Through Peter, God made this application to Christian wives: 1Peter 3:1-6- “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” God says the real beauty of a woman cleansed in the blood of Christ is the way she obeys God’s will, even and especially when it comes to the role of being a wife. By living with that wholesome attitude, wives, you will be serving Christ every day and bringing glory to Him.
Transition: Paul not only addresses wives in this text. No, he addresses the husbands too. In fact, He addresses Christian Husbands multiple times so as to get God’s point across. Husbands, if you want to serve Christ every day, then love your Wife (21, 25-31)
Listen again to the text and see if you can catch how many times and how many ways God addresses the husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
The manner in which husbands are to interact with their wives is exercising the same sacrificial love toward her that Christ showed toward the Church. Paul goes back to the source of love, Jesus Christ our Lord. Consider what Christ gave up for us. Christ left the glories of heaven which he deserved, and came down to earth and was born into this sin-infected world. He endured temptation, ridicule and even persecution for us. He died a gruesome death on the cross for us. He endured hell for us. That is the example Christian husbands are given. A Christian husband is to love his wife with that same sacrificial love that Christ showed on behalf of the Church!
In fact, Paul goes even further. He goes back to the essence of marriage. He says, “Husband love your wife because she is part of you.” The 2nd reason that a husband should love his wife sacrificially is because she is part of him. If you love yourself, but mistreat your wife, you are in essence mistreating yourself. Normally, people take care of themselves. The wife is part of the husband; it’s written right in God’s original design, as Genesis 2:24 shows. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
Since she is united to you, like you are to Christ, the Lord wants you to feed her and care for her. Those words carry import. The first word Paul used means “to provide food for”, with the implication of a considerable period of time and the food being adequate nourishment. The second word means, “to take care of”, with the implication of cherishing and showing concern for her, doing whatever is necessary. Placing her first and foremost in your live and making her your number one concern even beyond yourself. That is how a Christian husband can do what verse 21 asks, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Illustration: Throughout history, women have been treated by men as lesser humans. Athenian women were of inferior status, often guarded by dogs, treated as fickle, contentious, and uncultured in comedy. In Jesus’ day, there was a prayer said by Jewish men thanking God in this manner, “Thank you for not making me an unbeliever or barbarian, a slave, or a woman.”
Application: Without the gospel, no man could ever have a proper view of what a true blessing a wife is. In Proverbs 31, the chapter on the virtuous wife, the husband is given this example of recognizing his wife as a gift, “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her... a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised... Give her the reward she has earned.” When you realize that your wife is a gift from your gracious Savior, who poured out his life-blood for you. And when you realize that He has given you the responsibility for cherishing that one precious soul just to show him how much you appreciate His grace, then you will do what He asks and go out of your way to win her over every day.
Conclusion: There is a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another’s burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another. A Christian husband or wife can serve Christ in their role every day by submitting to Christ’s design, ready to all the duties of the respective places and stations that God has allotted to us in the world.
If you are married now, you have a wonderful opportunity to serve Christ in this manner. If you are not married, let your dates and perspective spouses know what you have to offer in Christ. Seek a Christian spouse so that Christ can dwell in your marriage. If you do not plan on marrying, then encourage your friends and fellow believers to serve God in their marriages.
Christ has freed us from sin. For this we can greatly rejoice! In Christ, everything we do, yes even loving our spouse, can be done to thank him. Let us serve Christ every day. Amen.
