THE BASIS FOR GETTING ALONG
Effective Family Living Series. Part 1
Eph. 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”
That’s a tall order, isn’t it? Submit? For what? This is the intro. Text to the rest of Eph.5:22-6:9. This is the key thought surrounding these verses. Get along with others, c’mon, live in the real world, will ya?
A man was driving home from work one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t yet bought her a gift. So, the man rushed off to the nearest toy store and asked the sales clerk, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
The sales clerk replied in a condescending tone, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."
The overwhelmed man asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 and all the others are only $19.95?" "That’s obvious!" said the sales clerk. "Divorce Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, and Ken’s furniture.
This is the real world where relationships in families are a mess and it is in trouble. I don’t have to be genius or a prophet to realize the truth of that statement. Do you not agree? In all kinds of ways people have found ways not to get along with people. Now you tell me to submit to people, to such people, my own family members who don’t understand me? Look around, do we not see all sorts of tears and rips in relationships that bring so much pain and suffering. So why should I submit to such dysfunctional people?
Go to school or work you may see bullies, cliques formed that exclude, labels being put on people, office politics, look at u funny because u talk different, wear old clothes, smell different, etc. Because of that, I sense that in our hearts, at least when we get home, we can put the cares of the world behind us, we desire a home where people get along with each other. We want to leave all the dirt behind and have a home… But then the real world comes crashing in, as we step in there is strife, people still can’t along with each other, disagreements, fights, who does the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning, play, cook, feel exhausted… u go lock up in your room , that is if u have a room, wondering if there is anything that can relieve this pressure.
Inside there is a hunger brewing for a bit of heaven, to feel safe, loved, valued, worthwhile. People can build a house, but to build a home is something else. The success of current TV talk show “Oprah” with Dr. Phil, testifies to this hunger for effective family relationships, for home. Millions are tuned in to her show, looking for tips to get along. And why? Because of the human need for love. We protest we are not just numbers, or automated machines, or rejects from a factory. In our innermost being we sense life is precious. We want life to grow and flourish but we’ve got big troubles here in this world.
There is an escalation of violence. We see more and more violent toys, in video games, glorifying gore, blood and guts don’t like somebody, nuke them. In a world that gives tolerance a high value, more and more intolerance is shown. It is shown in the way many drive their cars without regard for the safety of others, as we in the news week after week of teens being killed while driving their fast powerful cars. It is shown in the movie that drew the most patrons in last 2 weeks “Panic Room”… story of a 3 crooks who can’t get along who broke into a home of a mother and her daughter who can’t get along with the father, then the crooks can’t get along with the mother in story in all ended up in a violent climax! Assaults in homes are on the increase, violence at home, even cream of society … It is shown, PoCo mayor Scott Young was charged with assaulting his wife Wendy. Even Christians are affected. Apparently, a recent study by George Barna showed, the percentage of born-again Christians who have been divorced (27) actually beats the national average by 2 points. Homes are being ripped apart, moms and dads torn away from each other and their kids. "While it may be alarming to discover that born-again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce," says Barna, "that pattern has been in place for quite some time." I.e the pattern of not getting along has always been there.
This further evidenced by story reported April 11, 2002 in the Toronto Star: “Near Haifa, rescue workers picked up the pieces of eight Israelis slaughtered on a bus. And at the Nablus camp, frightened Palestinian mothers comforted their children and watched their husbands and sons led away by Israeli soldiers in a mass arrest. Both sides grieved, as they have for the past 18 months, yet both seemed oblivious to the other’s pain.
"Thank God," said 15-year-old Ahmed Attalla, when asked what he thought of the Palestinian suicide attack near the Israeli coastal town of Haifa.
"I hope there will be more operations like that," he added, watching the men of his camp line up to be detained. "They will never break our will." Friday Apr. 12, 2002, Ahmed’s hate filled request was granted as a female suicide bomber killed at least six people and wounded 84 near a crowded market in Jerusalem. Al Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigade, the militant faction of Yasser Arafat’s Fatah party, claimed responsibility.
More and more we hear “let’s get even”, rather than “Let’s get along” is heard.
Yes our human history is a sad story of people not getting along with people. So much power struggles… so much rips and tears, pain and death! Beginning with the first man Adam blaming Eve for his own sin, then Cain and Abel, right down to today, with Little League coaches and parents, and if Stephen Harper and Joe Clark can’t see eye to eye, in conservative Canadian politics where’s Canada even gonna go with no effective opposition in Parliament? Where’s the hope for the future if we can’t get along? In homes today, wars are being fought, I know it, I came from a family that has fought wars, I know it can happen… It’s even in my kids. Everyday, there are fights over the silliest of things, what to watch on TV, when to go the bathroom. No one is unaffected by the disease of not getting along. How can a holy perfect God take any of this? Humanity’s record is shameful, if I were God I would have given up home of redeeming this world, let’s just forget it… Waste of energy, time, let’s take up mahjong instead. It is just too much to take, it seems hopeless… can humanity ever have hope, are we redeemable, can we just get along?
But the good news is, I am not God, so I don’t call the shots. Good news is the God who calls the shots is a God who chose not to forget our nightmarish world. The Bible tells me God chose to love… Jn.3:16 “For God so loved the world…” chose to do something that will remedy our broken world. He decided to get along with a messed up world. He decided to love! In the letter to the Ephesians, the writer, Paul, has spent the beginning parts explaining the basis for getting along… How God got along with us, even we don’t look too pretty, even when our record of human history stinks with twisted thinking, actions, with war, and evil. Looking to Jesus, he builds the case for getting along. The first thing he cites is the awesome, love and grace of Christ, that through him there is forgiveness of sins to offer, that it God who initiated the whole process of making us a part of His huge family… HERE ARE SOME HIGHLIGHTS…
In Eph. 1:3-10 (NIV)
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has BLESSED US in the heavenly realms with EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING in Christ.
(Then he elaborates the blessings for all humans who believe in Him…)
4For he CHOSE US (when you choose, choose the best… see in Superstore all the time, fruits and veggies section, all bad stuff, gets unchosen) in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he predestined us to be ADOPTED (conscious willingness to integrate/welcome in pro-active manner) as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—( with enjoyment and a very final decisive verdict) 6to the praise of his GLORIOUS GRACE, which he has FREELY GIVEN US in the One he loves (this was not something forced on God, freely given expressed in Jesus). 7In him WE HAVE REDEMPTION through his blood (our redemption came at a huge cost) , the FORGIVENESS OF SINS, (knowing we are all messed up) in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8that he LAVISHED ON US with all wisdom and understanding (it was given with unbridled passion). 9And he made known to us the MYSTERY OF HIS WILL according to his good pleasure, which he PURPOSED IN CHRIST, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment--to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
A. LOVE: God values ME!
Hence first thing we got to know in getting along with others, why we can think of submitting to others is to understand how God values me, and the rest of the world. When the Bible speaks of submitting to another, it does not say to do it out of blind faith, or gritting your teeth with every ounce of your self-will, and then just do it. Submit out of knowing who God is, what’s He all about, what He’s done, what He plans for us, who we are to a God who chose to love us and not get rid out us like a bad cold. The basis of getting along springs from the enjoyment of God’s mercy richly poured out to us love in forgiving us of our messes and the messes we create with our ingenious ways of getting ourselves into trouble, into an escalation of spiralling sin, that’s an abyss of misguided self-protection. The basis of getting along is the sweetness of the grace of God’s grace freely given to us, expressed in sins forgiven, being set free from guilt, because of a committed love which magnifies that glorifies, that humongousified (if there’s such a word) the majesty of a God who came for us because He values us. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us” says 1 John 3:16 (NIV).
In Ephesians 2
1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,
2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.
3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,
5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved.
6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--
9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
This passage in the Bible tells me that what I deserved is God’s wrath. Unresponsive to God and his ways, God came to our rescue with the person of Jesus Christ. By placing our faith in Him, we are saved. It is a gift, not something we can earn. Like any gift, all we need to do is just receive it, and say Thanks!
Practically, the basis of getting along is this: the Lord Jesus Christ in your life and mine. Without His life and His message we will be left with just a world that gets even not a world that can get along. God did not get even with us, He decided to get along with us, even when we are not ready for it. His way is redemptive, restoring, reconciling, renewing, loving. He redeemed us with a great cost, Jesus’ blood.
B. Steps to get along:
1. Be secure. Be secure about who u are. To God you are precious, loved, chosen, adopted, destined for glory, son and daughter whom he will never give away, sign away, or shoo away. So place your life in Christ’s hand. 1 John 3:1 (NLT) “1See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are!…” If you are not secure in Christ, you cannot submit nor get along with another with God’s power. It’s like today, people say they won’t fly on an airplane, cos they don’t feel secure. Only if they feel secure, will they feel free to fly. God calls us to fly, fly with wings as eagles, fly and soar high, with the breeze of His love carrying you, you are not gonna fall! So be sure of where you are with God. Just pray if u are not sure, make sure today! Perhaps pray like this: “God, I believe u love me. I’m insecure, and I am sorry for not trusting You, I have messed up bad. Come in life today, make me secure in the love of Jesus Christ. Thank you for dying for my sins. I receive Your gift of love to me with all my heart and with faith. Amen.”
Today if you pray that way, nothing will be able to separate you from the love of God guaranteed in Christ. I want to give you this Scripture: In Romans 8 (NLT) 35Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? 36(Even the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.") 37No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. 39Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I love that!!
2. Be risky: Out of the security, you take a risk, submit to another. Knowing that nothing can move you away from the secure position of a winner in Christ. You don’t need to jostle fight your way to heaven, scoring points. The way is clear, secure in Christ, you move towards others, in their messed ways, and in their messed up life. This is how u put into action your faith, your security in Christ. Rehearse Gospel in your life, “God loved me and gave Himself for me” and so I give my life for others…
I recently read a story about a king who decided to set aside a special day to honor his greatest subject. When the big day arrived, there was a large gathering in the palace courtyard. Four finalists were brought forward, and from these four, the king would select the winner.
The first person presented was a wealthy philanthropist. The king was told that this man was highly deserving of the honor because of his humanitarian efforts. He had given much of his wealth to the poor.
The second person was a celebrated physician. The king was told that this doctor was highly deserving of the honor because he had rendered faithful and dedicated service to the sick for many years.
The third person was a distinguished judge. The king was told that the judge was worthy because he was noted for his wisdom, his fairness, and his brilliant decisions.
The fourth person presented was an elderly woman. Everyone was quite surprised to see her there, because her manner was quite humble, as was her dress. She hardly looked the part of someone who would be honored as the greatest subject in the kingdom. What chance could she possibly have, when compared to the other three, who had accomplished so much? Even so, there was something about her the look of love in her face, the understanding in her eyes, her quiet confidence.
The king was intrigued, to say the least, and somewhat puzzled by her presence. He asked who she was. The answer came: “You see the philanthropist, the doctor, and the judge? Well, she was their teacher!”
That woman had no wealth, no fortune, and no title, but she had unselfishly given her life to produce great people. There is nothing more powerful or more Christlike than sacrificial love.
We often miss the value in the humble ladies of this world. Our eyes are dazzled by outward appearances. We see the accomplishments of others, we see how they are better than us, or we see how they are lower than us, we don’t see the value Christ place in another, so like the king we missed the significance of the humble teacher. How often we miss the value of those around us. Don’t miss it anymore, do that by remembering God values me, God loves me, therefore I know God values you and God loves you.
SO Submit to each other, serve each other, by seeing the value God placed on others, even when it is not clear that they deserve it. Matt.25 tells this story:
31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory.
32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, `Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,
36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 "Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?
38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?
39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 "The King will reply, `I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’
41 "Then he will say to those on his left, `Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,
43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 "They also will answer, `Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 "He will reply, `I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 "Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."
Therefore I encourage you to be like Jesus, submit to another, for you are not submitting to just Joe over here, or Mary over there in your home but when you submit you submit to Jesus, out of reverence for Christ! Just as Jesus submitted to us, by coming for us, lowering Himself from the level of God to the level of humans to redeem us. Just as He submitted us by not forgetting us, by valuing us, by laying down his life for us, by choosing to love messed up people like us. And so let’s love another freely, with the same measure that God has loved us.
Give your life to others, esp. those who sinned against you, hurt you, because that’s what Jesus did for us, who knows you may produce great people. Because of his love, service, giving his life, produced people who transformed others in love. Imagine a world without such love. Give to others in your home. Effective family living comes from intentional giving of yourself in Christ-like fashion, not from getting your own way. 1 John 3:16-20 (NLT)
16We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters. 17But if anyone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help--how can God’s love be in that person?
18Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions. 19It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord, 20even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
3. Be renewed daily: Unless we get the power from God, know security in Him, know for sure we are His, we would commit to risky service, living, get a shot of God to inoculate you against the bad news of world that wants to get even not get along! Be filled with the Spirit, the Bible says (Eph.5:18). Worship God, get your feet planted in God’s word. God’s life, God’s music, do that, not allowing voices of this world get to you. Get renwed with others in congregational worship like today, hearing positive messages from God’s word, get a lift, encouragement, from others who could bring the joy of God into your life. Let some believer touch you, hug you, share your hurts and be prayed over.
