Self Control
2 Peter 1:5-8 amplified
Faith is to a Christian what gasoline is to a car. Gasoline is necessary to run engine. That’s not all you need; air supply, vacuum hoses draw air, oil, or won’t go very far. The Christian faith too must have some other additives or you won’t make much progress.
Someone says, “I believe all I need it to believe in God.” True if you on your deathbed! But if plan on living here for a while you will need much more than faith or else you become very frustrated trying to live Christian life.
The text tells Christians to diligently add to there faith several things. Why? So you can be fruitful and functional. Read verse 8.
You and I already know too many dysfunctional Christians! You know people who will not come to Christ because they know too many dysfunctional Christians. Today it is hard to tell the difference between the “Saint’s and the Ain’ts”. They talk same, and act same.
We are all in the process of sanctification once we have been born again. We grow in Christ and reach New levels of living. It begins with faith ends with love.
From faith will grow virtue or holy living. We want to please God; he is our number one motivation for all we do. Out of holy living will come more 1st hand experiences with God called knowledge. Now we know God not by 2nd teaching but 1st hand experiences. From knowledge we will grow in self-control. Because the more we experience God the more of His grace we will experience to instill holy habits in following harder after Him. This is the personality profile of one who is Spirit-filled.
DEFINITION: Temperance is kjv word from 2 Greek “en” = fixed position, in place and “kratos” = power or strength. “The strength to stay in place.”
Different from self-discipline:
Self-discipline is good but motivated to achieve a goal. Anyone can do this. But Self Control is motivated by love for the Lord. Jesus said, “If you love me keep my commandments.” It is a fruit of Holy Spirit living in us. When love wins a victory in our lives it shows up in self-control. The strength to obey, and stay fixed in love with the Lord, even at great sacrifice.
It can be difficult to distinguish between self-discipline and self-control. Often on the surface they look the same.
Illustration: Two men walking through the airport and notice a magazine rack of porno in gift shop. Both men are Christians and they both feel the urge to look at those magazines. One man doesn’t go look at the magazines because he is exercising self-discipline; the other doesn’t go because he is exercising self-control. In both cases they walk past the temptation. The self-disciplined guy says, “This is something I should not do so I won’t do it. The Self-control guy says, “Even though part of me wants to see this I won’t because I know it would grieve God and I love Him so I won’t.
Turn situation around in another scenario. I don’t feel like reading the Bible but out of duty I do it anyway. This does not deal with the root. I need to find out why reading the Word of God is like duty rather than desire. Self Control says my aim is to please God. So I must find out why I don’t feel like reading the Word of God.
This is a vast subject that covers every area of our lives. I thought it wise to mention some of the more obvious problem areas where we tend to struggle with, and allow the Holy Spirit to produce self-control in our faith. Anger, tongue, overspending, and sex are an areas God expects our faith to produce self-control.
I. ANGER MUST BE SELF-CONTROLED.
3 types anger:
1. Sudden anger can be controlled:
Are you quick tempered? Known for a temper? Will Rogers said, “People who fly into a rage seldom make a good landing!”
Proverbs 14:17 “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly.” = God calls this person a fool. Slow down! James 1:19-20.
Anger causes physiological changes in body that are harmful to your health: Heart faster, blood pressure, mouth dry, trembling. I personally notice when I have been angry for a time or lost my temper that many times a day or two later I become sick! It weakens immune system.
2. Sinful anger must be condemned. What is sinful anger?
1. Anger w/o a cause. Mtt. 5:22
2. When you hate someone. We are to love people/ hate sin.
3. You desire revenge. Rom. 12:19 Vengeance is mine
4. You will not forgive someone.
Proverbs 19:11 “The discretion of a man defereth his anger.” Man of discretion analyzes “Why am I angry?” What is it that makes me so angry?
3. Stubborn anger is to be conquered. Eph. 4:26 “Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down upon your wrath; neither give place to the devil.” - Some people live with anger for 10 or more years = stubborn anger.
Bible shows in verse 31 how the devil will take any place you give him in your soul and grow a stronghold in your mind, will, or emotions. Note the order how anger will get out of control:
Read vs 31. First: Bitterness – someone offends you. If you don’t pull up roots of bitterness it defiles your soul (Heb 12:15). You must learn to forgive without expecting any apology or the devil will trap you.
Second: Bitterness turns to wrath Greek word = “to burn” or smolder. You continue to dwell on the offense or hurt.
Third: Wrath turns to anger on the outside- manifested in face, voice.
Fourth: Anger turns to clamor – loud speech. Illustration: You are having an argument with your wife. The wife says, “You don’t have to shout.” Husband says, “I’M NOT SHOUTING!”(In an obvious shouting tone!) Wife replies, “Oh good, then who is that idiot that is shouting?” Ladies I don’t recommend you say that!
Fifth: Clamor to evil speaking – say cruel things you don’t mean.
Sixth: Evil speaking turn to malice – desire to hurt.
How do I get self-control over my anger?
1. Recognize it. “I have a problem.” Accept responsibility and stop blaming everyone else for making you angry.
2. Repent of it to the Lord and ask forgiveness from God and other. “Show fruit of repentance” – What is your plan to overcome? Try harder? No! If you repent you will establish a plan of attack, get help, etc.
3. Renounce it = remember according to scripture you gave the devil a place in your life. Confess it as sin and ask God to take back the ground you surrendered to the devil.
4. Rely on Holy Spirit – You will have to pray more through out your day asking for help in your weakness. Slow down!
There is hardly a day that all of us do not experience some form of anger. But God is ready to help us if we allow Him.
Illustration from the Garden Eden “Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.” = he was burning with rage. God came and tried help him, but also made it clear he would have to come to God on God’s terms not his own. Then warns him, “If you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at door, it desires to have you, but you must master it.”
Cain had a choice of how he was going to deal with his anger. You do too! God is waiting to help you master any area you do not have self control over.
There is coming a day when God’s anger will be unleashed upon all who attempt to handle life on their own terms. The good news is that by trusting in God’s Savior Jesus you can avoid that Day of Judgment. John 3:36 “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on him.”
This offer is a gift in exchange for faith. It is not a reward for performance. How we respond to God’s offer determines our eternal destiny. It will also determine how we deal with present issues in our life today.
II. THE TONGUE MUST BE SELF CONTROLLED
World’s smallest but largest troublemaker!
James 3:5 read.
Gossip words are like fire: They burn and hurt someone every time. Romans 16:17 “Watch out for those that cause divisions” Living Bible says “Stay away from those”
Illustration: “But preacher he/she is my friend!” Obey God anyway! “What if it is my wife?” Correct her. Husband? Use the Word to appeal and allow Holy Spirit to correct them.
Gossip words spread quickly: “setteth on fire the course of nature” Gossip is a two way problem. One who tells gossip and the one who listens to it has a problem!
If you have Holy Spirit in you then you feel that little tinge in you when you say things about other people that you shouldn’t.
Ask God to put a guard over your lips. Read Ps 141:3
III. SPENDING MONEY MUST BE CONTROLED.
Overspending is a spiritual problem. It causes many marital problems. Need to discover the spiritual root; not content, trying to satisfy a need. Some people go shopping to cope with stress. That’s okay if it is within your budget but not okay if you are trying to use it as a coping mechanism or something deeper within.
High incomes are not immune!
Root of overspending is selfishness- for some it is feeling deprived of something or loneliness. It could be a way of compensating for a lack of intimacy in marriage. It temporarily fills a void where boredom or sadness exists. A person tries fill that void with materialism.
Fruit of overspending = stress, debt, frustration. Adictive personality that spends money (credit cards) to deal with some stress in their life. Average credit card is $8,000. If you paid the minimum it would take you 24 years to pay it off.
Application of self-control:
1. Have a Biblical plan.
2. Establish priorities – God first! This is the outside indicator of whether or not you really trust God.
Do you believe God or do you just believe in God?
No giving of tithes = no commitment
IV. SEXUAL BEHAVIOR MUST BE CONTROLLED.
SEE I Thes. 4:3-8
Expound – vessel is your body, some say wife.
The fastest way to self-destruction is to be sexually in bondage or out of control.
Beware of rationalizing excuses:
1. “I can handle this!” But you have fallen into the trap many times before. Heed 2 Tim. 2:22 “Flee- but pursue …” with certain kind of people!
2. “I deserve this happiness and God wants me happy.” No, God wants you holy! Holiness brings happiness. See Eph. 5:3.
Help:
Accountability. Get someone to hold you accountable.
Counsel with a person of wisdom.
Identify the bait Satan uses to easily trap you. Set up perimeters.
Conclusion: Remember this is not self-discipline but self control. They look similar but are not the same. Self-control’s goal is to love the Lord.
