Mes #321-100302
File #: phi04-07.ser
Text: Philippians 4:1-4
Title: Make It Right
Introduction:
· It would seem like there is a lot to be angry about lately.
· Over the past years we have seen many wars unfold.
· Wars that have taken a new flavor.
· We now watch from our telelvisions everynight how battles in the Middle East play themselves out.
· We watch as tanks drive up and down the streets in the West Bank, Gaza Strip and other parts of Israel.
· We watch as Prime Minister Sheron and Yaser Arafat seem to be in constant struggle.
· They walk what might seem like a political tightrope trying to get the other party to succumb to their plan for peace in the Middle East.
· Making each move trying to push the other into an agreement that will look favourable. Yet peace alludes.
· We watch a little longer and then we see locally how even in this past week as members of the Zig Zag crew, an organizations who does grunt work for the Hell’s Angel’s have been caught setting a police officers van on fire while it sat in her drivinway.
· They also went back sometime later trying to firebomb her house.
· And although unsuccessful, we begin to get the idea of the tension there is within gang relations.
· We can also watch as Allied forces bomb and try to force out Al-Quiada army who are taking refuge in caves in the mountains of Afghanistan.
· We maybe watched on television this week as we heard the news of American forces who lost their lives in the combat.
· It hardly makes sense doesn’t it?
· Support programs in place in Shilo
· It would seem like events like these dull our understanding of the tradegy of conflice.
· With Canadian troops involved in the fighting in Afghanistan, thestress for family at home increases.
· At CFB Shilo, the Military Family resource centre is providing help.
· Executive director Jennella McIntyre says they offer deployment support programs, counseling and special events that bring families of deployed soldiers together.
· McIntyre says they also offer an emergency childcare program.
· About 40 soldiers from Shilo are in Afghanistan.
· I watched as Canadian Military left from Winnipeg this week and saw the sadness in family and loved ones as they watched their husbands, wives, friends, children, parents go off to war.
· Conflict has a price – for some the price has cost them their lives, for others it has cost them security, for others it has tossed their lives upside down and instilled fear within them.
· Yet this morning there is a conflict that takes place that doesn’t often get in the evening news.
· A conflict that takes place between brothers and sisters int eh LORD.
· We need to realize that although all conflict is unique, we must not lose sight that conflict within the church and between brothers and sisters has its effects.
· There is a price to pay for any conflict, and this morning we want to see Paul’s formula for successful conflict resolution.
· For I believe if we handle conflict in an appropriate manner, we can come through the other side stronger.
· This morning in just a few verse, Paul has outlined how he wanted two friends to handle their conflict.
· This morning as we think about the conflict we face with fellow believers, we want to look at what Paul has to say so that we can resolve differences between fellow believers.
· This morning I want to look at four different principles in successfully handling conflict with a fellow believer
1st Word of Council: Have a Sure Footing (v1)
· I want to deal with first things first.
· As Paul says in verse one he talks of his love and pride in the Philippians.
· That beign said, he tells the Philippians to stand firm in the Lord.
· How important it is in all situations, regardless of what our situation may be, to stand firm in the Lord.
· To maintain a godly focus and perspective.
· I believe the most dangerous conflict that can take place in the church when two people or parties have little focus on God but rather themselves.
· If a person is not reading the Bible, praying, attending worship regularily, faithfully sharing their faith, then they can be a dangerous person to have a conflict with.
· This is the foundation that Paul begins with.
· It is a statement that should really precede every aspect of our lives
· But this is especially true I believe when we face issues of conflict.
Illustration;
· One day, a father took his son and one of his son’s friends on a fishing trip. They got to their camp sight, and everything was just perfect. The weather was warm but not hot, the lake was calm, and they had a level campsite. They raised their tent, cooked their dinner, and went to bed anticipating several days of great fishing. When they awoke the next morning, they discovered that a cold front had come through during the night. It was now in the low 40’s and a cold wind was blowing. They stayed in their tents most of the day and occupied themselves telling stories and playing silly games with one another to make the best of a bad situation.
· They went to bed that night hoping that things would be better the next day. The next day was more of the same. Only now, it began to rain. Once again, they tried to wait it out and occupy themselves in the tent. But by the end of the day, everyone was on edge and angry at one another.
· They decided to pack up and head home.
· The moral of the story - They discovered that when fishermen don’t fish, they fight.
· When you and I forget why we are here and turn our focus away from the job that we have been given, it is then that we start to fight with one another over things that have no eternal significance whatsoever.
· Who cares what color the carpet is or whether or not someone who uses your room messed it up or what date the church picnic is on and whose house it’s at? Yes, voice your opinion about these things, but if the decision doesn’t go the way that you think it should, don’t go getting angry at everyone and letting it destroy your relationship and your witness.
· We are here to bring people to Jesus! All this other stuff is just stuff. Never forget what the priority is. If you’ve got to get angry at someone, get angry at Satan. He’s the one that we are fighting!
i) Trusting God gives us a foundation to handle conflict
Psalm 125:1
1 A song of ascents.
Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever. NIV
Philippians 3:10
10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, NIV
2nd Peace of Concil: Work For Resolve (v2)
· Paul plead with these two women.
· So we see the passion to which Paul fealt concerning disruption and conflict in the church.
· He knew the damage that could be done if this wasn’t settled quickly. Remember 1 Corninthians.
· We aren’t told what the problem was.
· Could it have been a minor theological disagreement, maybe engaged in civil suite or just at disagreement about some issue – maybe with ladies group, worship style, Sunday School, church decorating, and the list could go on and on.
· What is it that they disagreed, Paul did not mention but to say deal with and deal with it quick
· It grieved Paul to see them at odds, and so it should when we see others or ourselves at odds especially with others in the church.
i) Don’t sweep issues under the rug.
· Now maybe they could have swept this issue under the rug.
· Maybe they could have found resolve by one of them going done the street to another church at least for a while.
· Or maybe they could sit on separate sides of the sanctuary so that they don’t have to rub shoulders with us then we can survive it out.
· Paul says, no Paul pleads with Eudia and Syntheche to come to agreement.
· Does this mean that all issues will come to complete resolve – no. There are many issues which we will not agree on.
· When we finish the ceiling and paint the walls we aren’t all going to like the selection of color that is chosen, but we need to agree sometimes to disagree especially when it comes to issues of personal taste.
· But we must work things out to the point that at the end of the day we look each other in the eye and say “I love you and am concerned about what is happening in your life.”
Illustration:
Denial
Pretend it Didn’t Happen
· “You don’t go look at where it happened,” said Scott Goodyear, who starts 33rd [speaking of race-car drivers who have been killed in crashes at the Indianapolis 500]. “You don’t watch the films of it on television. You don’t deal with it. You pretend it never happened.”
· The Speedway operation itself encourages this approach. As soon as the track closes the day of an accident, a crew heads out to paint over the spot where the car hit the wall. Through the years, a driver has never been pronounced dead at the race track. A trip to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway Racing Museum, located inside the 2.5-mile oval, has no memorial to the 40 drivers who have lost their lives here. Nowhere is there even a mention. Source unknown
· Pretending something didn’t happen does us no practical good.
· If there has been an offense or disagreement it may not help to harp on it over and over again, but it does even less to deny it happened – pretend and go on as if ignorance is bliss.
3rd Piece of Counsel: Seek Out Godly Mediator (v3a)
· The third piece of advice is to seek out a godly mediator.
· The prescription as outlined in Matthew 18 is of viatl importance to handling conflict.
Matthew 18:15-16
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ NIV
· Relize that when someone hurts you or offends, the first thing you do is go to that person.
· If you don’t find resolve then bring someone else along.
· Notice that neither Paul nor Christ says, if someone does something wrong go around and try to get as many people on your team so that you can win the war.
· It is easy to talk about the faults of others to everyone but the one who has offended you.
· And so we can hide behind others by telling people our version.
· The most dangerous thing you can do in conflict is to go against what is prescribed in Matthew 18 – write this down somewhere, because it will save you trouble down the road. – talk to the person first, if that doesn’ t work then you get the loyal yoke fellow and then finally the church.
· Falure to follow this simple pattern makes resolution much more difficult and in many cases impossible.
· But there is a need for a godly person to come into the midst of difficult situations to come and give an unbiased perspective.
i) If needed, bring in a third party
4th Piece of Counsel: Keep a Godly Perspective of Grace (v3b)
· The forth piece of counsel is that we should keep a godly persepective of Grace.
· We need to realize that we are talking about people who are infinitly loved by the Almighty God.
· We need to realize that we are talking about people who have supported and encrouaged others in their walk with God.
· We must be careful in evaluating people based on single experiences.
· And so we forget all that they have done to encourage others in their faith and we harp on the issue that upsets us.
· I believe Paul is bringing perspective to this.
· Its something as you see people who agree on virtually everything but then on some small issue they find disagreement – and it is on that one idea they are willing to go to war.
Illustration;
Cartoon
· May we know that God works in the midst of differences and we need to work through them.
· Now we can’t know if these women were battling over, but Paul
i) Remember we are dealing with fellow believers.
· Does not mean that all disagreements are with fellow Christians, but for this passage we are dealing with fellow believers.
· I believe when we have disagreements with those outside the church, we are then required to have more grace.
5th Piece of Counsel: Rejoice In The Lord (v4)
· It begins with setting a firm foundation in the Lord, and it comes to the place where we can rejoice in the Lord.
· One thing that conflict will do is it will steal your joy.
· We know what it means to stare at the roof and allow the actions or words of others keep us up.
· We allow it to ruin a day that could have been better spent serving the Lord.
· But when we allow disagreements to consume oru thoughts and consume our lives it steals our joy.
Illustration:
· I sat across the table from a fellow who was angry.
· I think he really didin’t know anything else.
· But he began retelling me accounts of things that had happened in his life and he told me of one insident that had really upset him.
· I watched as he told the story.
· He started talking louder and he began getting more enraged.
· As he finished the story I asked a couple of questions and found out that it was an event that had happened 30 years before that event.
· As we talked he wouldn’t admit he was angry but it was so evident he was going to take that insident (it was a small insident) someone had come and stopped in as they were getting ready for bed – just thought they would stop in and it ignited a dispute that I’m sure the person who stopped never knew.
· He let incidences like that consume his life and steal his joy.
· Paul gives perspective in this again by saying – “Rejoice in the Lord…”
· Can you say you rejoice, or is their some incidence that is controlling your life, some disagreement that you are willing to hold onto and steal your joy.
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
NIV
Conclusion:
· Corl’s husnband was killed in an accident last year. Jim, only 52 was driving home from work. The other driver was a teenager with a very high blood-alcohol leve. Jim died instantly.
· The teenager wa sin the emergeny room for less than two hours.
· There were other ironic twists: It was Carol’s 50 birthday, and Jim had twon plane tickets to Hawaii in his pocket.
· He was going to surprise her.
· Instead, he was killed by a drunk driver.
· Debbi Smoot a friend of Carol’s asked her a year after the accident “What has helped you get through this?”
· “Her eyes welled up with tears. I thought I had said the wrong thing, but she gently took my hand an said, “It’s all right, I want to tell you. The day I married Jim, I promised I would never let him leave the house in the morning without telling him I love him. He made the same promise. It got to be a hard promise to keep.
· I remember running down the drivway, saying “I love you’ thorugh teeth clenched when I was made, or driving to the office to put a note in his car. It was a funny challenge.
· “We made a lot of memories trying to say ‘I love you’ before noon every day of our married life.”
· “The morning Jim died, he left a birthday card in the kitchen and slipped out to the car. I heard the engine starting Oh no, you don’t buster, I thought. I raced out and banged on the car windown until he rolled it down. “
· “Here on my 50th birthday, “Mr Jame E Garrret, I Carol Garret want to go on record as saying I love you!”
· I know the last words I said to Jim were “I love you!”
· It puts an eternal perspective on this doesn’t it?
· WE can get caught up tien petty issues of life.
· But when we face each situation as if it wasthe last chance we had to be with our spouse, family member or fellow brother or sister in Christ – would we make an effort to make things right.
· We will have conflict, but I hope this morning that you will see how God wants to work through that conflict.
· Don’t let the sun go down on your anger – deal with what is between you and a fellow believer.
· Don’t wait, don’t leave it.
