Proverbs 25:11 says, "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances."
A Hard Heart or a Broken Heart – Your Choice
Jesus said that people in the days of Moses were permitted to divorce because of the “hardness of men’s hearts”. Divorce is not caused by adultery, abuse, or people simply “growing apart”.
Friendships are not destroyed by gossip, thoughtlessness, or a slanderous word.
The relationships in families between father and son; mother and daughter; brother and sister are not ruined by fights and squabbles.
The relationship between a man and his God; a woman and her God is not broken because of his/her sin.
There is separation and loneliness because we withdraw from his presence and he sets us apart from him when we will not turn toward him.
It all comes down to one issue. It is simply the hardness of the heart.
The opposite of love is not hate: it is apathy.
Hardness is the decision to not care about another anymore. It is the decision to be apathetic toward someone. There is a gritting of teeth and the setting of the jaw – a determination to not love; not trust; not give; not take; not play; not work; not touch that person any more.
There are some who have hardened their hearts against God.
If there is ever going to be reconciliation with God – there must be a breaking of the hardened heart.
And how does that happen?
It happens when God knocks at the door of our heart. Sometimes when you hammer on something hard it breaks and shatters. And sometimes it just gets harder.
The choice is yours.
This morning I want to look at David’s heart with you.
David’s Heart sas soft and tender toward God in his youth. In the fields with the harp – singing songs of praise and worship as he watched his father’s flocks.
Eventually he became a man of God. He took on the giant called Goliath. He spent years hiding from a jealous king. He became the king and united all of Israel in the service of God. And then he sinned.
Oh – it was not the first sin in his life. But this sin he covered, he hid, he “managed”.
I won’t rehearse the details of the scandalous story that is the backdrop of chapter 12.
Most people know them anyway. Suffice it to say that King David has committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of one of his most valiant soldiers. (The stories in the news today about adultery in the military and rank-and-privileged cover up are nothing new.) When it was discovered that she was pregnant, rather than confess his wrong, he tried to cover it up. In the process he ordered the murder of Uriah, the woman’s husband.
After the days of mourning were completed, he moved Bathsheba to the palace to make the cover-up complete except for one thing that is mentioned in the last verse of 2 Samuel 11: "But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord." It is so certain that you can take it to the bank that whenever you read words like that in the Bible, you haven’t heard the end of a story. Such is the case here.
Nearly one year transpired between the events of chapter 11 and those of chapter 12 - a year in which David lived a sham - the life of a hypocrite.
And what was soft and pliable became tough and hard. He lied, he murdered, he hid the truth.
Could David ever become a man of God again? Would David ever be tender toward God again?
Yes but only because – God knocked at the door of his heart and wanted to come back into his life.
At the right time; the right person; with the right words, hammered his hardened heart and it was shattered.
Then and only then can the broken heart be mended and what was hard can be soft again.
At the right time…
After David sinned almost a year passed. This was a time of pretence and hypocrisy. The root word of hypocrite is actor. A person who acts like all is well in their life.
It is a kind of “spiritual whistling in the dark”.
That is when someone walks in the dark shadows and is afraid but whistles to show that they are not fearful.
Hypocrisy is simply pretending. This was not an easy time. A Pretender is someone who pretends to be something he is not. Like the TV show only it’s not as easy to pull off as on TV.
It warps the soul. After the breaking, David writes about what was really going on in his heart. The guilt and the shame and the pain.
Psalms 32:4-5
3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
At the right time – things began to happen.
2 Sam 12:1a
1 The LORD sent Nathan to David.
God is in charge of the right time. We belong to him and he reaches out to us – at the right time.
If you are concerned about someone you love. A Friend, relative, associate or neighbor, of some sort. A Dad; Mom; Husband; wife; son; daughter; Grandchild; friend at work; or a neighbor next door
God will reach out them at the right time with the right person…
At the right time; The right person…
God always reaches out to the person with a hardened heart with the right person. Right people are never self-appointed – they are always God appointed.
I know a church that went from a couple hundred people to about 40 because some people began confronting others with their sin!
We are brothers and sisters - not tattle tales and rat finks. This is wrong! The last thing we need is to have self-appointed "sin monitors" in the church and the community.
We must not have vigilante Christians roaming the streets of our city and the halls of our schools, universities, and businesses.
Yet, there must be a time and a person to confront the sin which hardens the heart.
The right person is one that God sends! It is God who is offended and hurt by the hardness of your heart.
It is God who must knock at the door of that heart. It is God who sends someone to deliver the message.
The right person is someone who we respect as having God’s authority.
In other words this is a “A steward of God” who comes at the right time.
Prophets: (those with the gift of preaching) are stewards of God as they deliver His truth to the ears of those who would hear. Nathan was a prophet of God. Billy Graham is a prophet of God. To a much lesser extent – I am a prophet of God.
Pastors: Elders in the church are stewards of God – they are responsible to teach by word and example the rest of the church the ways of God.
Parents are stewards of God – they are responsible to raise the children God gave them to know and understand His ways.
People: All Christians are stewards of God – all are called to gently and lovingly correct and encourage each other.
That means you must be close to the person and they know you care about them. John Maxwell is famous for saying "People don’t care what you know until they know you care."
How do you know if you are the right person in someone else’s life?
Very rarely will God use a deliberate approach as with Nathan and David. Quite often God simply uses someone to deliver his message without the delivery person even knowing! I have been used that way more often than I care to know.
Once had a lady at BCC come to my office and accuse me of talking to her co-workers because of what I said in a sermon.
Are you one of the people God has called to be a steward in someone’s life?
If you are not sure – do not speak! Except to God. Trust God to send the right person.
At the right time; The right person; The Right Words…
At the right time the right man (Nathan) came to David with the right words. He told a story about a powerful and wealthy man who stole a poor man’s pet lamb and cooked it for his guest’s dinner.
David was appalled at the callous disregard of this man.
Isn’t amazing how the human heart is so quick to condemn others and yet it can be so blind with regard to itself?
2 Samuel 12
5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die!
6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."
David seems totally unaware that he has just slipped his head into a noose of his own making. As quickly as he said the words, Nathan drives home the truth.
2 Samuel 12
7 Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ’I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul.
8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.
9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites.
At this point I see David in my mind’s eye as sitting there with his mouth open in utter shock. Referring to Nathan’s approach to David, Alexander Whyte once said, "Nathan’s sword was within inches of David’s throat before David even knew he had a sword!"
The right words that can reach a person are always words of the heart. They are never merely clever and manipulating. They are never simply brilliant legal footwork. They simply help a person see the reality of their life.
God gives the words that hammer a hardened heart. People in the early church listened to the preaching of Peter and there hearts were hammered by the power of the word in Acts 2:37.
The following words come from THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE, by Gary Smalley and John Trent:
His leaving had been abrupt and unforeseen. His wife had come home from shopping one day and found the note on the refrigerator. The words were brief and cold. He was tired of trying to make their marriage work. He had found another woman he said he really loved. He was leaving. He had already seen a lawyer and had the divorce papers drawn up.
Two weeks later, he drove into the driveway, got out of the car, but left the motor running. The woman was in the passenger side of the car. There was a lot of shouting on the porch when he coldly refused to come in. He dropped off the papers in a manila envelope, stormed off the porch and drove out of their lives, leaving their family in shambles.
He refused counsel. He refused to seek reconciliation. He refused to listen to the church. He set his jaw in disobedience to God and disregard to anyone who approached him. It appeared that he would never turn around.
What can be said to a man like that to get through the thick walls of rationalization and self justification he has erected around his heart?
One night, when everyone else was asleep, his oldest daughter wrote him this letter:
Dear Daddy, It’s late at night, and I’m sitting in the middle of my bed writing to you. I’ve wanted to talk with you so many times during the past few weeks. But there never seems to be any time when we’re alone. Dad, I realize you’re dating someone else. And I know you and Mom may never get back together….
Don’t think that Mom asked me to write this. She didn’t. She doesn’t know I’m writing, and neither does Brian. I just want to share with you what I’ve been thinking.
Dad, I feel like our family has been riding in a nice car for a long time. You know, the kind you always like to have as a company car. It’s the kind that has every extra inside and not a scratch on the outside. But over the years, the car has developed some problems. It’s smoking a lot, the wheels wobble, and the seat covers are ripped. The car’s been really hard to drive or ride in because of all the shaking and squeaking. But it’s still a great automobile - or at least it could be. With a little work, I know it could run for years. Since we got the car, Brian and I have been in the back seat while you and Mom have been up front. We feel really secure with you driving and Mom beside you.
But last month, Mom was at the wheel. It was night time, and we had just turned the corner near our house. Suddenly, we all looked up and saw another car, out of control, heading straight for us. Mom tried to swerve out of the way, but the other car still smashed into us. The impact sent us flying off the road and crashing into a lamppost.
The thing is, Dad, just before being hit, we could see that you were driving the other car. And we saw something else: Sitting next to you was another woman. It was such a terrible accident that we were all rushed to the emergency ward. But when we asked where you were, no one knew. We’re still not really sure where you are or if you were hurt or if you need help.
Mom was really hurt. She was thrown into the steering wheel and broke several ribs. One of them punctured her lungs and almost pierced her heart. When the car wrecked, the back door smashed into Brian. He was covered with cuts from the broken glass, and he shattered his arm, which is now in a cast.
But that’s not the worst. He’s still in so much pain and shock that he doesn’t want to talk or play with anyone. As for me, I was thrown from the car. I was stuck out in the cold for a long time with my right leg broken.
As I lay there, I couldn’t move and didn’t know what was wrong with Mom and Brian. I was hurting so much myself that I couldn’t help them. There have been times since that night when I wondered if any of us would make it. Even though we’re getting a little better, we’re all still in the hospital. The doctors say I’ll need a lot of therapy on my leg, and I know they can help me get better. But I wish it was you who was helping me, instead of them. The pain is so bad, but what’s even worse is that we all miss you so much. Every day we wait to see if you’re going to visit us in the hospital, and every day you don’t come. I know it’s over. But my heart would explode with joy if somehow I could look up and see you walk into my room.
At night when the hospital is really quiet, they push Brian and me into Mom’s room, and we all talk about you. We talk about how much we loved driving with you and how we wish you were with us now. Are you all right? Are you hurting from the wreck? Do you need us like we need you? If you need me, I’m here and I love you. Your daughter, Kimberly
A week after sending her father that letter, Kimberly stayed home with Brian and her mother rather than attend an evening high-school football game.
Actually, nursing a broken heart, she just didn’t feel like cheering and laughing with friends. That evening, her father showed up at the house to talk to her. "Kimberly. How’s your leg, honey?" "My leg?" "I got your letter." "Oh...well, it hasn’t been doing too well." "I’m sorry I hurt you so badly, Kimberly. You don’t know how sorry I am. Your letter came when I didn’t know if I could ever return to the family. I felt I’d gone too far... but your story showed me how much pain I’d caused you all. Is your Mom upstairs? I’m not promising anything, but I think we need to get some help. There’s a lot we have to work out. I’m going to give it all I have."
No magical words to make things right – God reaches out to you and there is a moment of decision.
At the right time, the right person, brings the right words there is a moment of decision. When Nathan said the words “You are the man” the moment of decision came
The earth stopped turning; the rivers stopped flowing; the waves stopped crashing against the beaches. The stars stopped twinkling in the skies above.
In heaven the angels stopped breathing until David spoke. It could have gone two ways. David could have denied it. He could have been angry and ordered Natan dragged from the court. He could have ignored it and continued the pretence of all being well and the heart of David would have gotten harder and harder until nothing could break it.
But when David spoke he said “I have sinned”
No extenuating circumstances are brought up. No "temporary insanity" plea is lodged. No blame is shifted to Bathsheba. No denial is made. No excuses are given.
A Hard heart can become harder or Hard heart can shatter – You choose.
What is God saying to you?
What are you choosing to do?
