One Flesh Relationships
(How to be sexually and spiritually satisfied)
Proposition: You must enter into a one-flesh relationship to be satisfied.
I. By understanding its construction. (Gen 3:22,23)
A. Defined.
1. By the world, just sex. (Gal 6:19, II Sam 13:2,14,15)
2. By God, a physical manifestation of a spiritual commitment. (Proverbs 6:32,5:18-20, Ecc 9:9, Mal 2:14-16, Eph 5:33)
B. Acquisition.
1. Seek a life partner, not a body. (Flesh is flesh. sex is 90% mental.) Prov 18:22,19:14,12:4,31
2. Desire to hide nothing from your partner. (Psalm 32:3-5)
3. Desire to put your partner’s needs and desires ahead of your own. (Song of Solomon 5:2-7)
4. Work at it. Communicate! Know everything about your partner’s heart by being exposed to it as you come to know their body by regular exposure to it. (Song of Sol 5 & 7)
a. Honeymooners and newborn Christians want to know everything.
b. God and husband wants to know everything.
c. Church and the wife stays aloof.
C. Wrong approach.
1. Sex first - wrong priority, no commitment, guilt
2. Sex only - constitutes living a lie. Physical commitment without wanting the spiritual. However, the spiritual is there anyway. This is why adultery and fornication are wrong. It is defrauding a commitment. The law of decreasing return jades sex and trying to make it more than it is produces pornography.
D. Failure to establish one-flesh relationship causes frustration and perversion.
1. Little or no commitment
a. Leads to secrets, hiding
b. Causes distrust and prevents opening up.
2. Causes lust and activates the law of diminishing return.
a. Fantasies become more satisfying than reality.
b. Can lead to homosexuality and bestiality.
E. One flesh cannot be severed by divorce.
1. Glued. Gen 3:23 Cleave like Elmer’s wood glue. Wood breaks before the bond.
2. Destroys the soul. Prov 6:23, I Cor 6:15-17. You can only split yourself so far before you have nothing left.
3. Destroys ability to concentrate and commit.
a. Mental images will come from similar circumstances. You won’t be able to concentrate on the one you are with if you have been with too many.
b. It is easier to cheat twice if you’ve ever cheated
once.
II. By understanding its spiritually.
A. Defined.
1. By world = church membership, good works
2. By God = accomplished by New birth - John 3:3 - new creature like Eve was a new creature; Marriage - Eph 5:25; Unholy relationship - II Cor 6:15,16.
B. Possible.
1. Like Adam’s bone in Eve, we need to have Him in us and yet we are actually in Him and from Him. II Cor 5:17;Eph 1.
2. Like God and Christ are one - John 10:30;17:21
3. Jesus was the physical manifestation of the spiritual union of the Godhead and our new lives are the physical manifestation of the spiritual commitment and the gluing already in us.
4. Seeking Christ as a life partner to love and not just a thrill giver. Love God with all your heart. Acts 8:19-20.
5. Desiring to hide nothing from Him. Psalm 139:23
6. Desiring to put God’s will ahead of your own. Rom 12:1,2; I Peter 4:1-3
7. By deliberately working at it through yielding. Rom 6:19;Eph 5:18
C. Wrong approach.
1. Not making the commitment - Men hate a tease, so does God. Like wanting to have a baby without intimacy; it is impossible. John 3:3,Rom 10:9,Acts 2:38 Birth is a good tie in here. A child is fruit of at least a commitment of the flesh, if not the spirit. Often a birth is the result of perversion or of the will. The new birth is not of the will or the flesh, but is from God and pure.
2. Works only - Bible reading, praying, church attendance, and baptism are not satisfying in the flesh although they are in some ways fruitful (head knowledge). They become work and working too hard can actually hurt. In the physical realm a couple can try too hard to have a baby and actually decrease their chances of having a child. A couple can be intimate in a car or hurry through their intimacy before the parents get home and get some pleasure, but not true fulfillment that comes from a loving, committed relationship. So also, the external religious activities only become fruitful and satisfying when they are natural and not forced as a true spiritual relationship is developed. They will not give you a legal claim to the Kingdom nor make you one with the Saviour. A woman can be intimate with a man and tell the world that she is married to him, but with no legal agreement or ceremony she can lay no claim to his treasure or time and he leaves with no obligation to her. You can claim the name of Christ, perform the acts of a Christian and still not be a part of the Bride. Matt 7:21-22
D. Failure to establish causes frustration and perversion.
1. Works do not give assurance. Rom 8:16
2. The harder you try, the more you fail, the more guilt, and the less satisfaction. Rom 7
3. Because it becomes less satisfying you turn to the occult, Eastern religions, "science", cults or in reality to man which will fill your mind, but leave your soul hungrier. Matt 12:43-45
E. True relationship cannot be severed.
1. We are one with Him and sealed. John 17:21;10:28,29;Eph 4:30;Rom 8;Heb 13:5
2. It would require surgical removal which would scar His body and bring shame to the Atonement. Heb 6;II Cor 5:17; Eph 1:22,23
3. When sin tries to sever us from Christ all it does is removes the joy of our salvation and our effectiveness to Him. Psalm 51
