Introduction:
The Bible is full of great stories! I’ve heard it said if you are looking for a mystery, or a thriller, or a love story, or one containing a great hero or heroine – whatever your desire, you can find it in the Bible. The text before us, in this study, is certainly one of the greats. Maybe you are already very familiar with this story, but if not, I think by the time we finish, not only will it be perhaps one of your favorites, you will appreciate the valuable lesson it contains.
In this lesson, we are going to study a lady of great character and intelligence – her name is Abigail. All we know about her is summed up in this one chapter, yet she comes through as one of the most notable women in the Old Testament. As we study Abigail, I think you will soon appreciate her wisdom, her decisiveness, and her sensitivity. She clearly had great interpersonal skills and an enduring patience. As it is with all the characters in the Bible, good or bad, their stories are recorded for us in Scripture for a purpose – primarily, our learning. I trust we will benefit greatly as we study the Biblical character of Abigail!
Historical Background:
The setting for I Samuel 25 is the days of David. A man who has already been chosen to be the next King of Israel, but he’s not king yet. Instead he is being hounded by his predecessor, King Saul. King Saul is hunting him down because he’s insanely jealous over David’s popularity and all his conquest. It all began one day when David returned victoriously from a battle with the Philistines. Ironically, David was fighting them on behalf of Saul – "So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and prospered; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. And it happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments. And the women sang as they played and said, ’Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.’ Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, ’They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?’ And Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on" (1 Sam. 18:5-9).
As time goes on, Saul’s jealousy and contempt for David grows stronger and stronger. By now, the setting for our text, David and about 600 men are on the run and they are trying to escape the sword of Saul. David is one of the three central characters in our chapter. The other two are Abigail (of course) and her husband, Nabal.
The Text:
Vs. 1: Samuel, the last Judge of Israel has died (around 1080 BC). After Samuel’s burial, David and his men go to the wilderness of Paran. Paran was a wilderness area located south of Judah, and north of Sinai. Israel camped there after leaving Sinai during the Exodus and sent spies to scout out the Promised Land from Kadesh, a location in Paran (Num. 10:11-12; 13:3,26). Ishmael made his home there after Abraham was forced to send Hagar and him away (Gen. 21:21).
Vs. 2 – 3: Nabal (Abigail’s husband) lived in Maon (May-ahn), a village in the hill country of Judah. However, his business was in Carmel (about 8 miles North of Maon). What was his business? It was obviously sheep and goats.
Nabal (up-close): Nabal was a rich man, a wealthy rancher, a Calebite (a descendant of Caleb). Incidentally, his name in Hebrew means fool. The text informs us that he is a harsh and evil man. The Hebrew word translated as harsh has a variety of meanings including: churlish, cruel, grievous, hard (hearted), heavy, obstinate, rough, stiff (necked), stubborn, and trouble. Are you starting to see the picture? This man was rotten to the core! In vs. 17, his own household says, “he is such a worthless man that no one can speak to him.” Believe it or not, he had a wife, and as she is the heroine in our story! Let’s see what the Bible has to say about her:
Vs. 3b: Abigail was not only intelligent, she was beautiful as well! I don’t care what generation you are from, that’s a winning combination! She had it all, brains and beauty. Now, I want to make sure you see the picture. We’ve got a princess married to a jerk. We’ve got a winner married to a loser. This relationship itself will provide one of our lessons in this study after we gain a deeper understanding of it.
Vs. 4: Verse 2b and 4 go together. From them, we learn it’s sheep shearing time. Nabal is in Carmel shearing his massive heard of sheep. David, in the wilderness of Paran, hears of Nabal’s activity. Why is this of any concern to David? David and his six hundred men are on the run. They’ve been living off the land for several weeks now. They’ve actually been guarding those three thousand sheep of Nabal. Now it’s customary, as well as honorable in days of old, that when somebody guarded your sheep for several weeks, when sheep-shearing time came you compensated them. Now this wasn’t mandatory, but it was an ethical thing to do. It’s kind of like our American custom of tipping when certain services are provided, thus it was generally expected.
Vs. 5-8: Are you beginning to understand the plot here? Can you begin to see it unfolding? David and company have been helping in the guarding of Nabal’s massive flock of sheep. As a matter of fact, the text informs us that they did a superb job. They worked well with Nabal’s shepherds not insulting them, also none of Nabal’s livestock came up missing during their tenure as guards. Nabal’s own servants confirmed this truth (cf. Vs. 15-16). So, as is the custom, upon learning that Nabal is shearing his sheep, David sends ten of his men to Nabal to collect their “tip.” Now what do you think Nabal’s response was to this request? Let’s see:
Vs. 9-11: In a nutshell, Nabal insulted them! Not only were David’s men insulted, David and his family honor was impugned. Nabal brashly asks, “Who is David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many slaves are running away from their masters today! I have bread and water, and I have meat that I killed for my servants who cut the wool. But I won’t give it to men I don’t know.”
What a bigoted, stubborn, greedy grump. Nabal wasn’t just unkind and mean, he also wasn’t very smart. His name fits him well, he is a fool. His reply is not the type of thing you say to six hundred fighting men who are on the run for their very lives and who have performed you a service for many weeks and now they are starving to death and you tell them you can’t give them a little food. I wonder how David will react? Let’s see:
Vs. 12-13: To say David was furious would be putting it mildly. I must admit, I can understand David’s anger, although I don’t necessarily agree with the course of action he chooses. Nonetheless, David tells four-hundred of his men to “strap on their swords” because we are heading over to Nabal’s place to settle the score.
With a serious and apparently inevitable confrontation looming, it would appear that this story needs a cool headed, level thinking, intelligent hero to intercede. Actually, our hero turns out to be a heroine – Abigail.
Vs. 14, 17: Meanwhile, back at the ranch in Carmel, one of Nabal’s servants could see what was happening and he wisely went to Abigail (Nabal’s wife). The servant asks Abigail to think things over and see what she can do. After all, certain disaster for all is on the horizon and no one could talk to that idiot Nabal! Excuse my choice of superlatives, but I believe this to be the sentiment of those in Nabal’s household.
Now, before we look at what Abigail did, I want to ask you a question. What would you have done if you were in her shoes? Remember now, this is a bad marriage. She’s a princess married to a toad! He is a no-good, greedy, foolish, slime-ball of a man. Their marriage was probably arranged in childhood, as many eastern marriages were. She probably had little or no say in the whole thing, but she has had to live with this man all this time. Now, to top all off, she hears that there is somebody out there who’s looking to kill him and more than likely his entire household. It is safe to say that now her life would be in danger. With all that, I ask you again, if you were in her situation, what would you do? I wonder how many women today, given a similar situation, would have simply packed their bags and hit the road? Do you want to know what she did? Let’s see:
Vs. 18-32: I realize this is a long reading, but Abigail had a large mess to fix which took much persuasion. So what did she do? She didn’t run out, rather she gathered up an enormous amount of food and provisions (look at it again in verse 18) and heads to David. When she reaches David, what does she do? Falls at his feet, places the blame upon herself and tells David to pay no attention to that worthless excuse of a man Nabal. Why? For as his name is (fool), so is he – a fool. She tells David, “Nabal is his name and folly is with him…” in other words, she says “Fool is his name and folly is his game!”
Is there a lesson hidden within this section of text for us today? I believe so!
Lesson #1 – Differences Between a Husband and Wife Don’t Mean That a Marriage Can’t Continue.
How many couples today rush blindly into a marriage only to dissolve it a few months or years later due to unreconcilable differences? Our world today is full of them! Sadly, many marriages today are dissolved due to situations far less disquieting than Abigail’s.
A study of divorced couples shows that after a year of divorce, 60% of men and 73% of women feel they made a mistake and should have tried harder to make their marriage work.
Do you think Abigail had to try hard to make her marriage work? Do you think there were many days in her marriage that she had to think hard for reasons why she should stay? Let me share some statistics with you. I realize they are a bit dated; nonetheless, they will suffice in proving the enormity of this problem within our society.
In 1976, 2,133,000 marriage licenses were issued in the United States -- and 1,077,000 divorces were granted. A ratio now of 1 to 2! The US Census Bureau gave the following figures:
In 1920, 1 divorce for every 7 marriages.
In 1940, 1 divorce for every 6 marriages.
In 1960, 1 divorce for every 4 marriages.
In 1972, 1 divorce for every 3 marriages.
More frightening, it is estimated that as early as 1990, divorces will outnumber marriages. Well, we have lived beyond the 90’s, and though I haven’t read any updated statistics, it wouldn’t surprise me if this prediction isn’t true! Why do so many marriages end in divorce? I think is safe to say most people aren’t as willing as Abigail to “tough it out” and make it work. Not only that, I believe several myths have become prevalent mindsets in many couples who are struggling in a marriage:
Myth #1: The grass is greener outside my marriage. The conflict you are in may give that impression. That is seldom the case after the divorce. The truth: what looks so green is usually the weeds.
Myth #2: The kids will be better off. The truth: Divorce, even under the best of circumstances, has a devastating effect on children. Kids will always want their mother and father to be together.
Myth #3: Divorce is justified in my case because I’m not in love anymore. The world has taken over this person’s thinking. The truth: The same God who commanded people to love their enemies will gladly help couples who want to learn to love each other again.
Myth #4: Divorce will make me happy. Happiness is determined by a person’s attitude, not by circumstances. The truth: While some people subsequently come to experience happiness, most experience guilt, loneliness, and anxiety.
Myth #5: Divorce will set me free. There are all kinds of prisons. The truth: Divorce doesn’t really free you; it shackles you in a different way.
Myth #6: It is God’s will for me to divorce. Satan has told that lie millions of times. The truth: God has declared that He hates divorce (Mal. 2:16).
If anyone was ever in a situation, outside of unfaithfulness, that certainly warranted a divorce, it would have to be Abigail. I would admonish any couple who are contemplating separation, especially due to certain difficulties in their marriage, to take time and study Abigail.
Oh, by the way, if you think you’ve heard it all, regarding Abigail situation, well, unless you’ve read ahead, you haven’t! Let’s continue with our text:
Vs. 32-37: Abigail’s plan worked, and David calls off his invasion. After all Abigail has been through, she goes home to her husband, Nabal, and look how she finds him. Does your Bible read the same as mine? Of course it does, I’m being facetious. He’s drunk. Isn’t that fitting? This fool is drunk as a skunk!
We are not finished! There are a few more valuable lessons we can learn from Abigail’s wisdom. Let’s take a look at them, and then we will finish our text, bringing our story and lesson to a close.
Lesson #2 – A Wife’s Primary Role is to Support Her Husband
The second key point I want you to see from this lesson is: A wife’s primary role is to support her husband. You see that’s what Abigail did, risking her own life to meet David on the trail. Ladies, when you said, "I do" to the man to whom you are married, you at that moment accepted a role that called for you to help him, to lift him up, and to support him. Now don’t misunderstand, he has all sorts of responsibilities to you too and those are outside of the time limitations of our lesson today. But, God made woman to be, “A helper fitted for her husband" (cf. Gen. 2:18). The word “helper” comes from a Hebrew that has the connotation of a jigsaw puzzle. It’s like every man is made with pieces missing, but when the, right woman comes along, she puts in those pieces and she makes him whole. Thus, she supports that man, she makes the two of them the one flesh.
If any women ever had a good reason not to support her husband, one could make an argument for Abigail. After all, he certainly wasn’t meeting her halfway in their marriage. He wasn’t meeting her at all. There was no give and take here, only take. There was no compromise in this marriage, it was all one way, his way!
It would have been easy, and even understandable for Abigail to have met David on the road and simply said, “David, I don’t agree with anything that terrible husband of mine does, please, don’t hold any of this against me. Look, I’ve brought food and supplies. Spare me my life, and do as you wish with him. Be my guest to put me out of my misery!”
If this had been Abigail course of action, one that I’m sure most of mankind today would probably agree with, I wonder if things would have turned out as they did? Look at our text once again:
Vs. 38 What, do you suppose, brought about Nabal’s death? I suppose it could have been a natural cause. It could have been liver failure, since he appeared to be an alcoholic. Well, we don’t have to speculate for the text tells us that the Lord struck Nabal, and he died (vs. 38).
Had Abigail chose a different course of action, I wonder if God would have approved? I wonder if the outcome would be the same?
Before we leave this topic (the wife’s role in supporting her husband), I think we should review a few key verses in Proverbs: An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life (Prov. 31:10-12).
Abigail stands as a extremely strong example for wives today. She did her husband good, although he didn’t deserve it, all the days of his life. Let’s return to our text one final time for it’s in the conclusion of this story we find our final lesson.
Vs. 39-42: Did you catch David’s comment upon learning of Nabal’s death? It is somewhat subtle, but it is key: Blessed be the Lord, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and has kept back His servant from evil…” (cf. Vs. 39). What is David saying to us here? To put it into our words today, I think David is saying, “Praise the LORD! Nabal insulted me, but the LORD has supported me! He has kept me from doing wrong.” What an interesting statement! Recall the story line of our text. Do you remember any mention of God speaking to David? Did God in a dream, or a vision warn David against an attack on the household of Nabal? Did God send heavenly beings to David advising him against his current course of action? Did David pray to God, seeking council regarding how to deal with Nabal? In all these situations, our answer has to be NO! So, how did God keep David out of trouble in this situation? Yes, of course, God used Abigail! From this we make our final point.
Lesson #3 – God Can Work in Your Life, even in Bad Situations
To say that Abigail was in a bad situation (regarding her marriage to Nabal) is an understatement! It would have been easy for her to have become withdrawn, depressed, timid… she could have easily slipped into a “place blame somewhere” mode. I could see her perhaps blaming herself, or blaming her parents, or even blaming God. She could have allowed the circumstances of this marriage to “drag” her down such that her faith in God is diminished. She did not! Notice again verse 27: “Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant; for the Lord will certainly make for my lord and enduring house…”
This doesn’t sound like a women who has allowed her pitiful marriage to affect her faith and trust in God. As a matter of fact, she has complete confidence in God. Notice verse 30: “And it shall come about when the Lord shall do for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and shall appoint you ruler over Israel…” She didn’t say, “If the Lord…” she said, “When the Lord…” - this is a confident, faithful women!
Our text doesn’t give us overwhelming confirmation of Abigail’s faith and commitment to the Lord. We can only speculate as to how strong her prayer life and commitment to worship was. Nonetheless, given what we have, I think it safe to assume that she had a fairly strong relationship with God. After all, if her faith and commitment were weak, I doubt God would have used her to change the course of action David had selected in dealing with Nabal. So what’s the point? I believe Abigail used her relationship with God as a means of support in helping her survive day-to-day in this awful marriage.
Like Abigail, we too should lean on God, using Him to help us survive our daily struggles. Paul said, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also my be manifested in our body” (2 Cor. 4:7-10). What is Paul really saying here? Simply that, we have this treasure from God, but we are like clay jars that hold the treasure. This shows that the great power is from God, not from us. We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. At times, we may not know what to do, but we do not give up the hope of living. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed. We carry the death of Jesus in our own bodies so that the life of Jesus can also be seen in our bodies.
Finally, Abigail’s situation (poor marriage) reminds me of Paul’s teaching’s on separation in 1 Corinthians, chapter 7: "But to the married I give instructions… that the wife should not leave her husband" (vs. 10). Paul doesn’t elaborate as to the “why’s” here, but the Bible as a whole certainly does! God’s intent for a man and women who join as one in marriage is for this union to be one for life! I believe Abigail was well aware of this fact. She simply wasn’t going to leave her husband, no matter how bad it got!
Paul also said, “A woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband… Or how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Cor. 7: 13-14, 16).
From our text, I gather that Abigail was never able to change her husband. But that point is irrelevant here. The key is, she never gave up, she didn’t allow her situation to affect her faith and God continued to work in her life!
Conclusion: Abigail stands as a strong example for the world today. Her situation in marriage, her struggles, her disappointments along with her wisdom, her faith and commitment are valuable lessons for us all - especially anyone who might be struggling today in a marriage.
