I. It means husbands are to give themselves completely to and for their wives.
A. Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;"
B. Ephesians 5:2 "And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor."
C. Chrysostom, a minister in the early church ¡V (Paraphrased from Barclay¡¦s Letters to Galatians & Ephesians) ¡V ¡§If it be needful that you should give your life for her, or to be cut to pieces a thousand time, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not... Christ brought the Church to His feet by His great care not by threats nor fear nor any such thing. So conduct yourself towards your wife.¡¨
D. A tyrannical husband demanded that his wife conform to rigid standards of his choosing. She was to do certain things for him as a wife, mother, and homemaker. In time, she came to hate her husband as much as she hated his list of rules and regulations. Then, one day he died--mercifully as far as she was concerned. Some time later, she fell in love with another man and married him. She and her new husband lived on a perpetual honeymoon. Her new husband was committed to her and her interests. Joyfully, she devoted herself to his happiness and welfare. One day she ran across one of the sheets of do’s and don’ts her first husband had written for her. To her amazement she found that she was doing for her second husband all the things, her first husband had demanded of her, although her new husband had never once suggested them. She did them as an expression of her love for him and her desire to please him. He had won her devotion by his demonstration of selfless love.
E. Marriage is a lifetime covenant: one man, one woman, under God.
F. In Thornton Wilder¡¦s play, The Skin of Our Teeth, the character Mrs. Antrobus says to her husband, "I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I married you because you gave me a promise." She takes off her ring and looks at it. "That promise made up for your faults and the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married, and it was the promise that made the marriage."
G. I Corinthians 11:11 "Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord."
II. It means husbands are to desire conformity to Christ for their wives
A. Ephesians 5:26-27 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish."
B. Christ¡¦s desire for the church is that it might be holy and pure.
C. II Corinthians 11:2 "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."
D. Alice Peterson, Leadership ¡V Men have the tremendous privilege and responsibility to take women seriously, to call forth all their gifts.
E. Husbands are to love their wives to the degree that they protect the sanctity and purity of their wives and of their marriage.
F. Husbands should be first stirred to be holy (separate and untouched by evil) unblemished and then to stir their wives by love to be holy and without blemish.
G. I Corinthians 13:5-6 (Darby) Love... ¡§Does not behave in an unseemly manner, does not seek what is its own, is not quickly provoked, does not impute evil, does not rejoice at iniquity but rejoices with the truth...¡¨
H. Lewis B. Smedes, (Marriage Partnership, Vol. 8, no. 1). Love is fair when it builds up both the lover and the beloved, when it increases both and diminishes neither, when it brings them close and lets them be separate, when it nourishes both and leaves neither wanting.
III. It means husbands are to care for their wives with the same devotion they care for themselves.
A. Ephesians 5:28-29 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:"
B. A Christian husband is to care for his wife with the same devotion that he predictably demonstrates as he cares for himself.
C. Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
D. Matthew 19:5-6 "And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
E. Ephesians 5:31 "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
F. Joined = to glue together; to be joined in the closest union possible; to be so totally united that two become one.
G. Harold Smith gave this definition of marriage: It is two people who give expression to marital oneness. Two people, usually polar opposites somehow commit themselves to building a framework for physical, emotional and spiritual oneness by accepting, respecting and unconditionally loving each other.
H. Never be yoked to one who refuses to be yoked to Christ.
I. II Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?"
IV. It means husbands are to provide for her needs.
A. Ephesians 5:29 "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church:"
1. Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
2. Nourish ¡V to nurture, bring up, feed, clothe, and look after....
3. I Timothy 5:8 "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."
4. He is to provide for her physical needs (food, clothing, shelter)
„h A husband’s reactions to his wife’s colds during seven years of marriage: First year: "Sugar dumpling; I’m really worried about my baby girl. You have a bad sniffle and there’s no telling about these things with all the strep going around. I’m putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest. I know the food’s lousy, but I’ll be bringing your meals in from Rozzini’s. I’ve already got it all arranged with the floor nurse." Second year: "Listen, darling, I don’t like the sound of that cough and I’ve called Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl, just for Papa." Third year: "Maybe you better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy. I’ll bring you something. Have we got any canned soup?" Fourth year: "Now look, dear, be sensible. After you’ve fed the kids and got the dishes done and the floor finished, you better lie down." Fifth year: "Why don’t you take a couple of aspirin?" Sixth year: "I wish you’d just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening." Seventh year: "For Pete’s sake, stop sneezing! Are you trying to give me pneumonia?"
B. Emotional needs (warm and tender affection, appreciation, security and esteem)
1. Cherish ¡V to soften by heat, to keep warm as a bird covers its young with its feathers.
2. Scott Bolinder, Marriage Partnership, Vol. 5, no. 1. ¡§When my mother, the obvious sensitive one, would disintegrate into tears for whatever reason, my father would simply hold her and let her be. In a less obvious way, I learned that sensitivity could mean responding with a strong, silent, and perhaps even bewildered embrace.¡¨ He saw her needs and knew how to respond.
3. I Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
C. Spiritual needs
1. Joshua 24:15 "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."
2. The worse form of spousal abuse is to have a loving Christian wife, to reject Christ as your Savior and then to die without Him allowing your dear sweet wife to go through every day of the rest of her life on this earth with the full awareness that you are burning in hell for eternity, that you did not think enough of her to give earnest heed to her faith or her Savior.
3. Ancient marriage prayer, Marriage Partnership, Vol. 6, no. 3. ¡V May we two live our lives so happily together that God may enjoy our union of heart and spirit with each other!
4. A study once disclosed that if only the wife attended church regularly 15 percent of that family¡¦s children will remain faithful in church attendance. If only Dad attends regularly, 55 percent remain faithful. If both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 72 percent remain faithful. If neither attend regularly, only 6 percent remain faithful.
