We as people are always looking for a quick fix to life’s problems. Whether it’s the quickest weight loss fad or the fastest computer, we’re always looking for the easiest, fasted way to achieve our goals. We’re a generation of microwave popcorn and fast food.
This mentality also passes over to our spiritual lives as well. Christians are continually looking for the quick fix to spiritual maturity. Whether it’s the latest best selling Christian book or a popular seminar going from church to church, we’re always looking for that one method to spiritual breakthrough. Some Christians are like quick fix junkies, going from church to church, method to method, fad to fad, looking for that one magic method to give them a deep spiritual life with God.
Today we finish our series Deepening Your Life With God, through the New Testament books of 1 and 2 Timothy. We started this series all the way back in September. We’ve seen throughout this series that there is no quick fix to a deeper life with God. Spirituality isn’t like a packet of microwave popcorn that you can pop in the microwave oven and enjoy just one minute later. True Christian spirituality takes time, effort, and most of all relationships to grow deep.
Throughout these last six months we’ve seen that there are three absolute essentials to a deepened life with God. The first absolute is ACCURATE BELIEFS. Our beliefs about God must line up with what God is really like or we can’t hope to develop a deeper life with God. This is why 1 and 2 Timothy have emphasized the need for sound doctrine four different times (1 Tim 1:10; 6:3; 2 Tim 1:13, 4:3). This is these two letters emphasize the importance of the Bible so much as well. This is why Paul wrote in 2 Timothy that all scripture is God breathed and therefore important to our spiritual development (2 Tim 3:16). Accurate beliefs are essential because our actions flow from our beliefs.
The second essential is being involved in SPIRITUAL PRACTICES. Numerous times these two letters from Paul to Timothy encourage us to live godly lives. Back in 1 Tim 4:7 we saw the command to train ourselves to be godly. The Bible calls us to engage in spiritual practices that will cause us to grow in our devotion to Jesus. These spiritual practices range from daily Bible reading to weekly worship, from daily times of prayer to giving of our finances to ministry. Its impossible to grow deep with God without engaging in these spiritual practices.
The third essential is participating in AUTHENTIC CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY. We’ve seen that 1 and 2 Timothy have a lot to say about how to structure the church, how to select church leaders, and how to order our relationships with each other in the church. In 1 Tim 3:15 Paul called the Christian Church "the household of God" and "the pillar of the truth." That’s how important it is for us to participate in community with other Christians. It’s impossible to grow deep in isolation, but we need the input of other followers of Jesus in the context of a Christian community.
So these are the three essentials. Different factors hold us back from these three essentials. Ignorance and false teaching holds us back from accurate beliefs. A lack of motivation and time constraints hold us back from participating in spiritual practices. But I think the number one thing that holds people back from authentic community is fear.
People are afraid of being hurt by other people, so they build up walls of protection around them. Let’s face it: The closer you get to people, the deeper those people can hurt you. We build up walls because we’re afraid of being betrayed or laughed at, being judged or abandoned. So we avoid real community with other Christians, places where we really let down our guard get involved in the lives of other Christians. We may go to church, but we make sure to make a quick escape after the service, talking to no one along the way. People are held back from authentic community by fear.
And the truth is that if we engage in authentic community, we will get hurt. The risk is a real one. Yet without authentic community, we won’t grow deep in our life with God, at least according to the Bible. All the quick fix substitutes marketed by religious companies can’t compensate for a lack of authentic community.
Today as we finish this series we’re going to talk about dealing with the painful relationships we’re likely to face when we participate in authentic community. We’re going to find that not only is authentic community an essential for a deep life with God, but that a deep life with God will help us deal with these painful relationships. We’re going to look at three kinds of relationships that we’re likely to get hurt in, and how a deepened life with God can help us deal with these painful relationships.
1. DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO DISAPPOINT US (2 TIMOTHY 4:9-13)
We’re going to start by talking about people who disappoint us. The section of 2 Timothy we’re going to look at today contains all kinds of different names in it. To us these people are unknowns with strange sounding names, but we need to remember that behind every single name we read is a story. Some of these stories are about people who disappointed the apostle Paul.
Look at vv. 9-13. Paul is writing from the city of Rome, the capital of the Roman Empire. Paul writes this letter sitting in a Roman prison cell awaiting his trail before the Roman government. This letter is Paul’s last one before his execution. Within months of writing this letter, Paul was led out to the third milestone marker on the Ostian Way in Rome and beheaded (Dictionary of Paul and His Letters, "Paul and His Letters"). The exact place of his execution is called Aquae Salviae, and on that location today stands a church called Saint Paul Outside the Walls. Paul was executed sometime during the year of 65 A.D.
Timothy receives this letter from Paul in the city of Ephesus. Timothy had been assigned to the Ephesian church to help them sort through some difficult problems. Yet in this final letter Paul knows that his life is nearing its end, so he asks Timothy to leave Ephesus and set sail for Rome as soon as possible, so they can be together one last time.
Demas, who we’ll talk about in more detail in a moment, had abandoned Paul and gone to Thessalonica. Thessalonica was the primary port city of Macedonia, just above Greece. We know that there was a thriving church in Thessalonica that Paul had started some years earlier. Most historians think Thessalonica was where Demas was from, that he had gone home.
Chrescens had gone to Galatia. He didn’t abandon Paul like Demas had, but apparently he was away on a ministry trip. Galatia was a region in central Asia Minor that was settled by Celtic tribes from ancient Gaul. Titus had gone to Dalmatia. Now when I first read about Dalmatia I thought that was the city where they got the idea for the movie 101 Dalmatians. But ancient Dalmatia was a mountainous region on the Eastern shore of the Adriatic sea. Apparently Titus had finished his work in the city of Crete and had gone on another ministry trip.
From Paul’s ministry team, only Luke remains with Paul. Luke of course was a medical doctor who accompanied Paul on his ministry trips. Luke wrote the gospel of Luke, in addition to the book of Acts. As we’ll learn a bit later, there were Christians from Rome also with Paul, but from his own ministry team, only Luke remained.
Many Bible scholars believe Tychicus was the guy who hand carried 2 Timothy from Rome to Ephesus, to hand deliver the letter to Timothy. Tychicus is mentioned in Acts, Ephesians and Colossians as one of Paul’s key leaders (Acts 20:4; Eph 6:21; Col 4:7). Tychicus was probably Timothy’s replacement in Ephesus, so Timothy could set sail for Rome, picking up Mark along the way.
We’ll talk more about Mark in a minute as well.
Finally, Paul wants Timothy to stop at the home of Carpus in Troas on the way to Rome. Troas was a city named after the ancient Greek city of Troy because the ruins of Troy were ten miles outside of town. Apparently Paul had left his writing materials and books in Troas with Carpus, and now that he’s stuck in prison he wants them with him. Perhaps the parchments refer to Paul’s copy of the Old Testament scriptures. The "cloak" refers to a thick circular poncho. As winter approaches, Paul needs to be kept warm in the drafty Roman prison .
So in the midst of his imprisonment, Paul needs companionship, his books, and something to keep him warm.
But I really want to focus in on Demas and Mark, because these were two people who had really disappointed Paul. Demas is probably short for the longer name Demetrius. Demas is mentioned as one of Paul’s key ministry people in his letters to Philemon and to the church in the city of Collosse (Philemon 24; Col 4:14). But something happened, and Demas had abandoned Paul. He fell in love with this present world. He probably grew tired of the hardship and struggles that characterized Paul’s ministry team, the long days, the dangerous travel, the beatings and imprisonments. He grew weary of long journeys with not enough food, being away from his family for months at a time. He yearned for the comfort of home, a life free from the hardship and struggles of full time ministry. So he went home, home to Thessalonica, home where it was safe and warm. But he left Paul virtually alone. He’d disappointed his friend and mentor Paul. Clearly Paul writes with a broken heart when he thinks about Demas and his divided affections.
Mark had once had a very similar story. On Paul’s very first ministry trip years earlier Mark had been one of Paul’s first ministry team members. But according to the book of Acts, Mark abandoned Paul early on in the trip (Acts 13:13). When Paul and his key leader Barnabas wanted to go on a second ministry trip, Barnabas wanted to bring Mark again, but Paul refused. After all, Mark had disappointed them earlier, and Paul figured that he couldn’t count on Mark to be there when they needed him. But Mark was Barnabas’ cousin, so he wanted to give Mark a second chance. The disagreement between Paul and Barnabas got so intense that they parted company. So the book of Acts leaves us with the impression that Mark is a guy you can’t count on, a guy who disappoints you.
Yet here we find Paul asking Timothy to bring Mark to him because he views Mark as having something to offer in ministry. Obviously something’s happened in Mark’s life, and that something has so impressed Paul that he wants Mark by his side for his last days. And of course, eventually Mark would go on to write the gospel of Mark, which is the second book in the New Testament.
Both Demas and Mark were people who disappointed Paul. Yet Paul is able to respond with them with grace. WHEN WE DEEPEN OUR LIVES WITH GOD, WE CAN FACE PEOPLE WHO DISAPPOINT US WITH GRACE.
Paul was able to give Mark a clean slate, a fresh chance. I’m sure Paul do the same for Demas as well, once Demas got his heart right with God.
If you involve yourself in authentic community, people will disappoint you, just like they disappointed Paul. You’ll have your own Demas and Mark in your life. I think about a guy who mentored me in my spiritual life here at LBF Church. We met each week to talk about how to be a better husband, studying the Bible, praying together, and encouraging each other. One day I found out he was divorcing his wife, and since then he’s been married two more times. I was disappointed.
People will disappoint us in the Christian community. They won’t do what they promise to do at times. They won’t do what we expect them to do.
As a pastor I constantly struggle with disappointing people. People have all kinds of expectations of what a pastor should do; some of those expectations are realistic, but many of them aren’t. Perhaps a phone call I forgot to make or a visit that I couldn’t get to. Often as my head hits the pillow at night I wonder who I let down that day.
Yet a deepened life with God helps us respond to people who disappoint us with grace. Rather than getting mad or bitter, we forgive. Rather than using our disappointment as an excuse to leave the church and separate ourselves from authentic community, we show compassion. A deepened life with God gives us a reservoir of grace to draw from, so when people do disappoint us, we can show them grace.
2. DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE US (2 TIMOTHY 4:14-18)
But Paul also deals with people who oppose him in his closing words to Timothy. Look at vv. 14-18. Alexander the metalworker was one of Paul’s opponents. Alexander was an especially painful opponent because Alexander was a Christian. We first met Alexander back in 1 Timothy, where we learn he had actually been kicked out of the church (1 Tim 1:20).
Most Bible teachers believe Alexander was part of a faction in the early church that was anti-Paul. These people questioned the legitimacy of Paul’s calling as an apostle of Jesus Christ. They didn’t view Paul’s twelve letters as Scripture. They didn’t like the fact that Paul refused to insist that non-Jewish Christians follow the Jewish laws. This faction would follow Paul around wherever he went. As soon as Paul would leave a town, they’d show up with a whole list of areas where Paul was wrong, and they did him a lot of harm. Paul mentions this same group in Galatians, 2 Corinthians, Philippians, and here in 2 Timothy. Paul warns Timothy to be wary of Alexander, because even though he’s been kicked out of the church, he’s still actively opposing Paul’s message.
The other opponent is the Roman government itself. Here we learn that Paul has already had his preliminary hearing--what he calls his "first defense"--before the Roman authorities. No one stood with Paul that day except Jesus. Yet Jesus comforted and empowered Paul to not only defend himself, but to even share the good news of Jesus Christ with those who were present. Like Paul’s speeches before government authorities in Acts, this defense turned into a sermon where he shared the good news of Jesus.
Paul’s assurance of deliverance does not mean that he thinks he’s going to be acquitted of his accusations and set free. He already said earlier in this chapter that the time of his departure was drawing drawn near, that he expects this trail to end with his execution. So his assurance here isn’t that he’s going to be set free, but that Jesus will stand with him to the end and empower him to finish well. He’s confident that his death will launch him safely into God’s heavenly kingdom.
Here we find how a deepened life with God helps us deal with those who oppose us. WHEN WE DEEPEN OUR LIFE WITH GOD, WE CAN FACE OPPOSITION WITH COURAGE.
Christians around the world face opposition from outside the church. I think of an Iranian Christian named Mehdi Dibaj. In 1993 Mehdi Dibaj was accused of apostasy by the Iranian government. I’ve read Mehdi Dibaj’s defense at his apostasy trial in Iran many times, and I’m always amazed at the incredible courage he showed as he stood before the highest court in his country and unashamedly confessed his allegiance to Jesus Christ. In June of 1994 it cost Mehdi Dibaj his life.
But in many ways the opposition that comes from within the Christian community is even more painful. Paul expected Rome to oppose him, but when people like Alexander stood against him, it was especially painful. Yet if you’re part of authentic community, the time will come when you’ll experience opposition from a Christian brother or sister in Christ. This is especially true if you serve in a leadership capacity in a church. And let me tell you: it’s painful, because the church is supposed to be a place of healing and compassion, yet we can often tear each other to bits. One pastor I know told me this week he simply feels like giving up.
A deepened life with God won’t guarantee us that opposition will never come, but it will help us face opposition with courage. Although I try to listen to my critics when they voice opposition about me, ultimately I have to remind myself that I live for the audience of One. I’d hate to stand before God with accolades and acceptance by all my Christian friends, but with the disappointment of God. Sometimes pleasing God means accepting the fact that some people won’t like you, some people will criticize your ideas, and some people will downright despise you.
As we enter into a giving campaign called Beyond Every Limit, I’m already anticipating some people who criticize me. Every time we go through a campaign there are always a few people who criticize. Yet, even as we went through Investing In Life back in 1996 and Enlarging Our Territory back in 1999, we must ultimately seek to please God with our leadership. There will be times when we make mistakes, but it’s important that we’re willing to go forward with courage when we believe God is leading us forward.
A deepened life with God gives us courage to face opposition.
3. DEALING WITH PEOLE WHO ARE SEPARATED FROM US (2 TIMOTHY 4:19-22)
The last category of people is those who are separated from us. In contrast to the other two kinds of people, these are the people we like being around, but for whatever reason we can’t. These are people who move away or who circumstances cause us to have to part ways.
Look at vv. 19-22. The husband-wife team of Priscilla and Aquila were clearly people Paul liked hanging out with. Paul first met them in the city of Corinth, after they’d been kicked out of Rome for being Jewish. They became an important part of Paul’s ministry team, and clearly Paul wished they weren’t separated by so many miles.
The household of Onesiphorus another one of those people Paul loved being around. Back in chapter 1 Paul described how Onesiphorus had often refreshed Paul’s spirit (2 Tim 1:16). There we learned that when Onesiphorus traveled to Rome, he searched for Paul until he found him, unashamed of Paul’s status as a prisoner. These are the people we love being around because they renew our soul and encourage our hearts. Don’t you love people like that in your life? They make up for all the Alexanders.
Paul mentions a few other people like this here as well. Erastus is one of those people Paul misses. But Erastus is on a ministry trip to the city of Corinth, in modern day Greece. Paul would also love to be with Trophimus. But Trophimus got sick, and had to stay in Miletus. Miletus was a city on the Western Coast of Asia Minor about 37 miles South of Ephesus.
Then Paul closes by relaying greetings from some of the Christians in the city of Rome. Early church tradition claims that Linus and his wife Claudia became key leaders in the Roman church.
Clearly Paul misses a lot of people. He misses Timothy enough to ask him to drop his ministry assignment to sail to Rome. He misses his old friends Priscilla and Aquila, his coworkers Tychicus, Erastus, and Trophimus. Yet various circumstances had separated them.
Here we find how a deepened life with God helps us deal with those who are separated from us. WHEN WE DEEPEN OUR LIFE WITH GOD, WE CAN FACE THOSE WE ARE SEPARATED FROM WITH HOPE.
The Bible describes hope as being like an anchor for our soul, that grips us in times of loneliness and uncertainty. Paul demonstrates this kind of hope here, as he yearns for the company of close friends in his final days.
One of the painful parts of being part of a church family is the fact that people sometimes move on. My wife and I were part of a church plant for two years back in the late 1980s. We poured our life into that church plant for those two years, investing our time, our money, our energy, and our efforts into seeing that church start and grow. We became extremely close to many of the people there, sharing our lives with each other at a deep level. And then after two years, God called Chris and I to return back here to LBF Church, so I could come on staff. Our last Sunday at that church was as painful a day as I’ve ever experienced, as we said goodbye.
I see this pain when people move away after being part of our church for many years. I see it when various circumstances move people on to another church.
Part of being part of a community where your life is not your own is realizing that God might call you or someone else to move on. You know, I would absolutely love to spend my entire ministry as the pastor of teaching here at LBF Church. And let me reassure you that I have no real aspirations to move on. Yet I could never say, "I’m here at LBFC for life" because my life is not my own, it belongs to Jesus. So that kind of promise is not for me to make. Yet I know that if the day were to ever come for me to move on, God would help us face that day with hope.
One of the exciting parts of being part of a community with other Christians is you know you’ll have eternity with each other in heaven. Even if circumstances separate us for a time here on earth, even if jobs take us out of state or God’s calling moves us on, we can be sure of an eternity of community with each other in heaven. That doesn’t stop it from hurting when we have to say goodbye, but it does give us hope in the midst of the pain.
An anchor for our soul, to keep us firm and secure when we’re lonely for people we miss.
CONCLUSION
To be part of authentic community with other Christians is to risk being hurt. Yet our involvement in authentic community, as well as the other three essentials of a deepened life with God can help us deal with these painful relationships. Accurate beliefs, spiritual practices, and authentic community deepen our life with God, so we can face these kinds of relationships. We can show grace to those who disappoint us, we can show courage to those who oppose us, and we can show hope when we are separated.
In short, it’s worth it to be part of authentic community. Our church is imperfect, and we make our fair share of mistakes, but as we share our lives with each other we can grow deeper in our life with God together. As we worship together each weekend, as we share our lives in small groups, as we serve together, as we give together, God helps us put down deep roots. May God never allow us to settle for anything other than authentic community with each other, so we can grow deep together.
