Parental Responsibility
In many ancient pre-literate societies values and virtues were often passed from generation to generation through the wisdom tradition. Many elders formulated wise sayings whereby the younger could learn general principles concerning the usual operation of life circumstances. These sayings, if adhered to, provided practical guidance for daily conduct. The book of Proverbs is a collection of such sayings used by ancient Israel. Within this collection are instructions for the operation of the most basic social institution -- the family. Specifically, the book of Proverbs addresses several topics concerning the family -- parental responsibility, marital fidelity, characteristics of virtuous and contentious women, and sibling relationships. Within its verses Proverbs gives instructions whereby the family unit can function successfully.
One primary family issue addressed by Proverbs is that of parental responsibility. It is the duty of parents to instruct children to keep the law. The parents’ words of wisdom serve as a continual reminder to the children of the law and righteousness (6:20-23; 1:8-9).
20 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. 22 When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. 23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
Through parental instruction, children gain wisdom that they retain throughout their lifetime (4:1-5; 22:6).
6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Parental instruction then serves as a combatant to evil. Children are continually reminded of their parents’ good doctrine (4:1-5).
1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. 2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. 3 For I was my father’s son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. 4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. 5 Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.
Consequently, children gain a respect for the wisdom of the elderly (20:29) and learn appreciation for the safety found in wise counsel (11:14).
29 The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head.
14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
Children who live according to their parental instruction eventually become wise themselves. They willingly receive rebuke, correction, and instruction (15:5; 13:1).
5 A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.
1 A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.
They do what is pure and right (20:11) and learn a responsible work ethic (10:5).
11 Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.
5 He that gathereth in summer is a wise son: but he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame.
Such children keep the law (28:7), respect God and the king, and do not become revolutionaries (24:21-22).
7 Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.
21 My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:
22 For their calamity shall rise suddenly; and who knoweth the ruin of them both?
In fact, they begin to seek after the wisdom of their parents. Wisdom becomes sweet to their taste (24:13-14).
13 My son, eat thou honey, because it is good; and the honeycomb, which is sweet to thy taste:
14 So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.
Such wisdom enables them to avoid temptation such as the seductions of sexual temptation (31:1-3).
1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. 2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? 3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
For such reasons the child who lives by his parents’ instruction brings joy, pride, and rejoicing to the family (10:1; 15:20; 23:15; 27:11).
1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.
15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.
11 My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him that reproacheth me.
On the contrary, children who have rejected or have not received parental instruction bring shame and grief to their family (10:1; 17:21; 17:25; 19:26; 28:7).
1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
21 He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy.
25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.
26 He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
7 Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.
Such children place little or no value on the wisdom of their parents (13:1; 15:5; 19:27).
1 A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.
5 A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.
27 Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.
They often mock and scorn obedience to their parents (30:16-17).
16 The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough. 17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.
In fact, they despise their parents and may even curse, rob, or mistreat them (15:20; 19:26; 20:20; 28:24; 30:11).
20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.
26 He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
20 Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.
24 Whoso robbeth his father or his mother, and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.
11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
They not only abandon the wisdom of their parents but also surrender or waste any inheritance from their parents (17:2).
2 A wise servant shall have rule over a son that causeth shame, and shall have part of the inheritance among the brethren.
Instead of finding virtuous uses of money, foolish children choose to squander their wealth on harlots, excessive food, and wine (23:19-21; 29:3).
19 Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way. 20 Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: 21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.
3 Whoso loveth wisdom rejoiceth his father: but he that keepeth company with harlots spendeth his substance.
Thus harlots, gluttons and drunkards become their companions (23:21; 28:7; 29:3).
7 Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.
Moreover, they devour and oppress the poor (30:14).
14 There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.
Despite their despicable lifestyle, these foolish children remain pure in their own eyes (30:12-13).
12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. 13 There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.
Such a child is the demise of his family (19:13).
13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Not only do parents have the responsibility to instruct their children in the law and in wisdom, they also must provide discipline and correction for their children. Parents are exhorted not to withhold correction from their children (23:13) because correction saves them from both eternal punishment and destruction in this life (19:18; 23:14).
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Correction removes children’s foolish attitudes and actions (22:15) and gives them the wisdom to live successful lives (29:15).
22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Discipline is necessary from a loving father, just as discipline from the Lord is an indispensable aspect of God’s dealing with His children (3:11-12).
11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: 12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
Because discipline is an essential part of being a loving parent (13:24) it produces a wise child of whom his parents can be proud (29:17).
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Parents also have to bear the responsibility for the family’s financial matters. Parents must keep accurate financial records in order to assure that the needs of the family will be met (27:23-27).
23 Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds. 24 For riches are not for ever: and doth the crown endure to every generation? 25 The hay appeareth, and the tender grass sheweth itself, and herbs of the mountains are gathered. 26 The lambs are for thy clothing, and the goats are the price of the field. 27 And thou shalt have goats’ milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens.
Parents also have the responsibility to work hard and to provide financial increase for their family (14:4).
4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.
Furthermore, parents are responsible for leaving an inheritance to their descendants (13:22).
22 A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.
All responsibilities in life, however, are accompanied with many blessings. So the responsibilities borne by a parent are rewarded by the many blessings that accompany a righteous family. A righteous family’s home is founded upon wisdom (9:1; 24:3) and will flourish and stand (12:7; 14:11).
1 Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars:
3 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:
7 The wicked are overthrown, and are not: but the house of the righteous shall stand.
11 The house of the wicked shall be overthrown: but the tabernacle of the upright shall flourish.
Their home is neither troubled from within nor judged from without (11:29).
29 He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart.
The descendants of such a home are the glory of the parents (17:6) and will be blessed as their parents were blessed (20:7).
6 Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.
Moreover, it is better to have financial problems within a peaceful, righteous family, than to have prosperity among a house of strife (17:1).
1 Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.
