From the Very Start
A Look at the Ancient Text of Genesis that speaks with Amazing Present-day Relevance
Love’s Hidden Partner
Ann Landers received a letter from a reader that went like this:
Dear Ann Landers: Why would any husband adore a lazy, messy, addlebrained wife? Her house looks as if they’d moved in yesterday. She never cooks a meal. Everything is in cans or frozen. Her kids eat sent-in food. Yet this slob’s husband treats her like a Dresden doll. He calls her “Poopsie” and “Pet,” and covers the telephone with a blanket when he goes to work so she can get her rest. On weekends he does the laundry and the marketing.
I get up at 6 a.m. and fix my husband’s breakfast. I make his shirts because the ones in the stores “don’t fit right.” If my husband ever emptied a wastebasket, I’d faint. Once when I phoned him at work and asked him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home, he swore at me for five minutes. The more you do for a man, the less he appreciates you. I feel like an unpaid housekeeper, not a wife. What goes on anyway? —The Moose (That’s what he calls me.)
Ann’s response is classic. She responded:
A marriage license is not a guarantee that the marriage is going to work, any more than a fishing license assures that you’ll catch fish. It merely gives you the legal right to try.
Genesis 24
- near the end of the Abraham story in Genesis
- Sarah has passed away
- Abraham knows he needs to get a wife for Isaac.
[24:1] “Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. [2] He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, "Put your hand under my thigh. [3] I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, [4] but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."
[5] The servant asked him, "What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?"
[6] "Make sure that you do not take my son back there," Abraham said. [7] "The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ’To your offspring I will give this land’--he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. [8] If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there." [9] So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.” Genesis 24:1-9 [NIV]
Abraham demonstrates…
* cultural responsibility to Isaac
o We also have a cultural responsibility to help our children find mates. We teach our children how to find a mate by…
§ Our personal life
§ Our teaching
§ Our practice of marriage
* covenant responsibility to God.
o Abraham knows that he must remain faithful and loyal to the covenant he has with God. This includes the life his son will lead, where his son will live and who his son will marry. We too have a covenant with God. That’s what the baby dedication in January was all about – we entered into a covenant with God to raise these children as His – given over to him in every moment of life.
The servant is committed to…
* Abraham’s purpose
[10] Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. Genesis 24:10 [NIV]
Call me twisted, but the mere fact that servant actually made the long journey and looked for the right woman is a wonderful testimony to me of his commitment to his master’s purpose. I mean, he could have taken the loot and ran. He could have taken all the jewelry, gone to some desert oasis for a few weeks and kicked back – then returned to Abraham and made up a story of giving the dowry to some girl who refused to come home. But he is too committed to Abraham to do such things. He rides the camels through the desert to fulfill Abraham’s purpose.
But additionally, he does this through a commitment to Abrahams’s principles:
* Abraham’s principles
[11] “He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water. [12] Then he prayed, "O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. [13] See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. [14] May it be that when I say to a girl, ’Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ’Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’--let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master."” Genesis 24:11-14
Again, the servant could have just walked into town, put up a sign advertising: Rich man named Abraham looking for a wife for his son. She will be the mother of many nations and will have a fancy gold nose-ring as well!”
But instead, he has learned from Abraham’s life and faith to handle this differently; he acts in faith and prays! This is a servant who is committed not only to Abraham’s purpose, but also to Abraham’s life priorities!
[15] Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. [16] The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. Genesis 24:15-16 [NIV]
Now, we meet Rebekah. And see what we learn about her:
Rebekah demonstrates a wonderful Godly character…
[17] The servant hurried to meet her and said, "Please give me a little water from your jar." [18] "Drink, my lord," she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. [19] After she had given him a drink, she said, "I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking." [20] So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Genesis 24:17-20 [NIV]
* in her service
She certainly didn’t have to do this. She had no way of knowing this would reward her, or benefit her. But showing God’s character in her own life, she serves this stranger. This is a very important trait of Godliness throughout the book of Genesis – we’ll mention it again in a moment. She gives water to all the camels – quite a fair bit of work.
Yet the servant, is still waiting and watching.
[21] Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful. Genesis 24:21 [NIV]
Why is he still waiting and watching? This is a two-fold quest. Not only does she have to have the right kind of woman, she has to be willing to leave home. Which we quickly discover about Rebekah.
[26] Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, [27] saying, "Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives." [28] The girl ran and told her mother’s household about these things.” Genesis 24:26-28
- She runs home. Important? I think so. I think it demonstrates what we will see proven further about her later in the story. Rebekah demonstrates Godly character…
* in her submission
Jump with me near the end of the story:
[54] Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there. When they got up the next morning, he said, "Send me on my way to my master." [55] But her brother and her mother replied, "Let the girl remain with us ten days or so; then you may go." [56] But he said to them, "Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master." [57] Then they said, "Let’s call the girl and ask her about it." [58] So they called Rebekah and asked her, "Will you go with this man?" "I will go," she said. [59] So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. Genesis 24:54-59
She is immediately submitting to God’s will in this story. Whatever God has in store, she’s willing to do. How much better would all of our lives be if we as men and women had this willingness to submit to one another? How much closer would we be as a family of believers if we submitted to one another? How much more clearly would our friends and family hear our message of God’s love if we were submissive to each of them in God’s plans and will like Rebekah is?
Notice how Rebekah’s family responds:
The family…
* hosts their visitor with hospitality
[29] Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, and he hurried out to the man at the spring. [30] As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. [31] "Come, you who are blessed by the Lord," he said. "Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels." Genesis 24:29-31
Now this is a lost art in our modern culture. The act of hospitality was of incredible importance in ancient times. And it is a mark of spiritual maturity yesterday, and still today. Look at how often in the book of Genesis alone hospitality reveals Godliness. And look how often the ungodly are inhospitality.
Now, let me just touch on this for a second. Hospitality isn’t the practice of opening up your home and having someone to dinner. Its something far deeper than cooking a meal and setting the table. Hospitality is about making someone feel ‘at home’ with you, around you. Its welcoming the stranger as they are, and making them feel like they belong. When someone is hospitable around you, they feel comfortable, safe and at peace in your presence, in dialogue, in their own journey of faith. This is really hard to get at in thirty seconds… but it will come up again. Trust me. And this family doesn’t just provide room and board for the servant, they welcome him into their home and their hearts. They host him with a wonderful hospitality.
But also, this family…
* hears God’s plan through faith
The servant spend about half the chapter telling the family what we’ve already read. Listen to their reponse in verses 49-51:
[49] Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn." [50] Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. [51] Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed." Genesis 24:49-51
Now my NIV text translates the final verb in verse 51 “as the Lord directed.” But there’s a fair bit of editorial flavoring going on there. As the NAS and NRSV will reveal in their translation, the word in Hebrew is the word (transliterated into English here) Dibar – coming from the word ‘to speak.’ “As the Lord has spoken” they respond.
Spoken? Where in this story has God spoken? There are no quotation marks belonging to God here.
With Adam and Eve, God walks and talks in the garden.
With Noah, God apparently spoken audibly.
Later in Exodus, God will speak to Moses through a burning bush.
Here, God speaks – but not so obviously. His speaking is hidden. In fact, throughout the entire story God is present and very real – but hidden. God speaks through the actions and attitudes of His people. And Rebekah’s family hears God’s plan – through the people of the story.
Finally…
Isaac shows faithfulness by…
* Trusting God to provide for his future
* Taking Rebekah as his wife
Listen to the end of the story:
[62] “Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. [63] He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. [64] Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel [65] and asked the servant, "Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?"
"He is my master," the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.
[66] Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. [67] Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” Genesis 24:62-67
Do you hear it? There’s something here that rings funny in our 21st Century American ears – but is absolutely critical to understanding the point of this story:
Isaac – meets Rebekah, takes Rebekah, marries her and then loves her. In America we’d do that differently. When I married my wife, I met her, fell in love with her, married her and then took her. But these are different times. Love is different.
Make no mistake, This is a love story! Because love, for them and for us, is about devotion!
Here, the key for a successful marriage is devotion! And in their devotion, each person in the story, especially Isaac and Rebekah, are devoted not just to one another, but to a hidden partner – God!
Husband - God - Wife
The best marriages strengthen the bonds in the marriage in every direction!
We get easily caught up in taking care of ourselves, focusing on our problems and chasing after every possible promising lead in life. And the whole time we neglect the cornerstones of our life – our relationship with God and our marriage.
And there are all kinds of books, self-help guides, talk shows, and programs promising to make your marriage so much better. And some of that is very useful in life. But none of it will help make up for misdirected or forgotten devotion.
What brought Isaac and Rebekah together, and what will keep them together is devotion – to one another and to God!
My goals in marriage:
* Continually re-tie the knot binding me to God and to my mate! We call getting married tying the knot. This is something I have re-do very intentionally very often.
o I do this to keep myself from drifting away from either of my partners in marriage!
* Constantly loosen any bond that pulls me away from God or my mate! There are all kinds of demands and devotions which left unchecked will wedge themselves between you and God and between you and your mate:
§ Your job or career
§ Your friendships
§ Your temptations
§ Your pride
§ Your fears
§ Your lack of intimacy…
o You have to release your bonds to these struggles.
o You may need help in doing this…
Homework:
1) Pray for your spouse and pray against your own selfishness (like we did before!)
2) Communicate in some overt way your devotion to God and to your mate.
3) Pray with your spouse three times:
a. before you do something fun
b. after you have a fight
c. before you make love
- A few final thoughts
When you pray and you’re not married this is valuable, but powerful. Use discretion and discipline to protect your purity and your commitment to God first and foremost.
When you date do so in a manner that demonstrates devotion to God, to your faith and to your future mate
Men and women – never assume that God or your mate already ‘knows’ of your devotion. Assume every day this will be your last chance to vocalize or demonstrate that devotion.
