Sunday Morning February 3, 2002 Bel Aire Baptist Church
Series: Kingdom Business [#5]
BUILDING FAMILIES THAT WILL LAST
Genesis 24
Introduction:
1. In this series, we have identified the stewardship of life, the stewardship of prayer, the stewardship of the Bible, and the stewardship of money.
2. Today we will look at being good stewards of something that is becoming extinct.
[Play video clip: “Endangered Species”]
3. Statistics show that 1 out of 3 households with children are missing the father. It’s pretty hard to say that our men ought to be the leaders of the household when they are not there.
4. It should not be surprising that 1 out 5 teenagers report that they hate their life and it doesn’t matter whether they live or die.
5. Over 50% of our nation believes that it is not morally wrong to have sex before marriage.
6. When polled about what people like to do in their spare time, 25% said they liked to stay home with family. Isn’t that great? Those taking the survey seem to think so, but what about the other 75%; or the fact that more people reported that they would prefer watching T.V. than spending time with family?
7. Things are looking worse and worse for our families, but it doesn’t have to be this way. So what can we do?
8. I want us to identify three things this morning that will enable us to build families that will last. We will be using Isaac as our example. We find our story in Genesis 24.
Building On The Right Foundation
In our story, we find a progression that is very important. Now I realize that there are some huge differences here in building a family because of the differences in time, culture, and traditions; but there are also some extremely important principles that we must notice.
Those of you that are married have already experienced what I am going to preach about in this first point. That is great! Use this opportunity to teach it to your children or grandchildren. Youth and singles, listen up.
Dating:
Although Isaac did not get to date Rebekah because the custom was arranged marriages, there are still several items here that pertain to dating.
1. Abraham went to great lengths to make sure that his son’s wife was going to be of Israelite descent. He could not allow Isaac to marry a Canaanite woman because they did not worship the same God.
a. So what does this mean for us? The Bible says that we are not to be unequally yoked. Now some would say that this is talking about inter-racial marriages but that is not correct. God is telling Christians to not marry unbelievers. When a Christian marries an unbeliever trouble is sure to follow.
b. If God does not want Christians to marry unbelievers then what is He telling us concerning dating?
Dating Principle #1: Never date someone without realizing that you could fall deeply in love with that person and marry him or her.
2. In verses 5-9 Abraham explains to the servant that God will provide a wife for his son because God had made a promise to him concerning his offspring. Abraham was so sure of this promise that he told the servant that if the woman would not come back with him that he would be released from the oath.
a. The servant also took this very serious because who did he ask for help? That’s right, God.
b. For those of you that are dating, it is not just a good idea, but very important that you do as the servant did and ask God to lead you to the right person.
Dating Principle #2: Marriage is serious business. It is a part of God’s plan in your life whom you marry. Make sure you include God in your decision.
Note: It is not a sin to not get married. It does not mean that something is wrong with you. I don’t believe that God intends for all of us to marry. After all, Jesus did not get married. But for those of us who do marry, realize that God must be at the center of your decision.
3. Also notice that our text points out the fact that Rebekah was a virgin. If this were not an important fact, it would not be in the Bible.
Dating Principle #3: Sex is a part of God’s design for marriage and is a special gift intended only for marriage. Your purity is important not only to you and your future spouse, but it is also important to God.
Building God’s Way
Marriage
Using the word sex from the pulpit makes us uncomfortable doesn’t it? You may be worried about what your kids or youth are thinking but I will assure you they have heard about sex. They may not have had accurate information in the past, but they do now.
Sex is what brings two people together and unites them as one. When you have sex, whether you went through a marriage ceremony or not, in God’s eyes you just chose your spouse. If you don’t believe me, read verse 67.
Marriage is serious business.
Matthew 19:4-6
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Jesus said Himself that God joins the man and woman together.
Verse 67 shows us two things about marriage that are necessary for it to work.
1. Isaac loved his wife.
Ephesians 5:25-30
22 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
23 To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
24 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
25 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
26 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-
27 For we are members of the body.
Men we are to love our wives like Jesus loves us! That is a love that does not quit. That is a love that does whatever it takes. Even die!
Marriage Principle #1: Husbands, love your wives as you love yourselves.
2. Because of Rebekah, Isaac was comforted when his mother died.
Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Women, I know you probably do not like these verses. In Genesis 3:16 we are told that women will not like God’s plan.
Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Ladies you must fight the temptation to not submit to your husbands. A godly wife submits to her husband out of love for him. Ladies you are to be a comfort to your husband not a hindrance.
The Bible tells us about wives that don’t want to follow God’s blueprint for marriage.
Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
If you didn’t notice, that is not real positive information.
Marriage Principle #2: Wives, submission is not slavery. Submit to your husband and not only will it be pleasing and comforting to him, but it will please to God.
I must stop at this point and make sure you haven’t shut me off. Whether any of us like it or not, this is the truth of the Word of God.
Marriage is not easy and if it were not for Christ, my marriage would probably be over. It is Christ Who holds marriages together. That is why the design of marriage and family is important. I don’t know about you, but about the time my marriage began to start going pretty “smoothly”, (you know not fighting every moment), we had our first child.
Children
Don’t get me wrong, I was like Isaac in Genesis 25:21. We did not think we could have children and we prayed for a child, and God answered that prayer. What a gift! My 3 children are all wonderful gifts from God, but I will assure you that children make a marriage more challenging, especially if God’s “blueprint” is not being used.
1. Children and youth, listen to me. Ephesians 6:1-3 tells you how to treat your parents.
Ephesians 6:1-3
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother”- which is the first commandment with a promise-
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Children’s Principle #1: Children obey and respect your parents.
2. Now, parents it’s your turn. I know your children are probably almost perfect, but God tells you how to teach them and what to do when they “mess up”.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Parenting Principle #1: Teach your children in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Parents, that means you first must know what the training and instruction of the Lord is. In order for you to be an effective teacher, you must not only know these things, but you must also model them.
3. While you are teaching your child, there will be times that you must discipline them.
Proverbs 23:13-14
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
See, God says that not only is it o.k. to spank your children, but that if you really love them you will. If you don’t believe in spanking your children when they need it, then you are saying that God is wrong. “Whip their behinds” and not only will it help them, but you will be in obedience to God.
Just a little side note: If you are one of those parents that have not yet learned to count to 3, you would be doing yourself, your family, and your child a favor to learn. You know what I mean. “When I count to 3 I am going to spank you. 1, 2, 2 ¼, 2 ½, 2 ¾ , etc… I want to scream at them, “Whip them”.
Illustration:
My wife’s aunt that is now with the Lord could never count to 3 with her children or her grandchildren. One day, while my family was at her house, my son Tharon was misbehaving. My wife told him not to that again or she would spank him and Tharon preceded to tell her that she had not counted to 3 like his aunt. My wife quickly counted to 3 and jumped up and spanked him. Guess what? My wife never has had to count to 3 again.
Parents stop threatening your kids and do what you say you are going to do. Who is in charge at your house? Is it you or your child?
Parenting Principle #2: If you love your children you will discipline them.
Grandparents
We have identified the roles of everyone in our families except one. Many of you fall into this category. You are grandparents.
I can’t say a whole lot about being a grandparent because I am not one, but I do know this: Grandparents must help teach these children in the ways of the Lord and must model it for them.
I can remember many times in my life that I went up against my parents, but I can’t ever remember going up against any of my grandparents. When my grandparents taught me how to do something, it was the right way to do it.
Grandparents you have a lot of influence over your grandchildren. Use that to their benefit.
As a parent, I have a request of grandparents here this morning. Grandparents, when your child or your child’s spouse disciplines your grandchild, stay out of it! I know you hate to see that child disciplined. I know you hate to hear that precious child cry, but it takes away the effect of the discipline when you jump in and brutalize the parent for doing their job.
Illustration:
When Tharon was 1 year old, we were visiting my parents and Tharon began to throw a temper tantrum. I got up to go spank him and my mother said, “You can’t spank him in my house”. Now I want to tell you that even a 1 year old understands that. I quickly picked up Tharon, went outside on the front porch, and spanked him in front of the neighbors and anyone else that drove by. I can now spank my children inside of my parent’s house.
Conclusion:
1. God has given us a plan for dating, for marriage, and for raising our children. There is no other plan that will work as well.
2. We saw a family last week make the greatest change in their family that could ever be made. Each one of the family members made the decision to make Jesus their personal Savior. If you are here this morning and you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior, you are without hope. Not only are you destined for an eternal hell, but you are also tearing up your family. That affects any family here that has a family member of the age of accountability that does not know Jesus as their Savior. You want a strong family? Make Jesus a part of it.
3. Christians, are you following God’s guidelines for your family? If not, why not? You do care about your family, right?
4. This may be the day that husbands and wives need to flood the altar and give their marriage over to Christ. This may be the day that dads and moms need to flood the altar and give their children over to Christ. This may be the day that grandparents need to flood the altar and give their grandchildren up to the Lord. Singles this may be the day that you need to flood the altar and commit to God that you will remain pure until you find that spouse that God has for you. Singles you may be saying, “It’s too late for me. I have already had pre-marital sex.” I want to say to you, “God will forgive you if you will ask Him to.” You may have already blown it, but ask God to forgive you and commit to Him today that you will begin a life of purity starting right now. You can’t change the past, but you can control what you do in the future.
5. Today we must decide just as Joshua told the Israelites. Who are you going to follow? I can’t speak for your family, but for my family and me we are going to follow the Lord.
