From the Very Start
A Look at the Ancient Text of Genesis that speaks with Amazing Present-day Relevance
Sacred Marriage
- A few months ago I received an invitation to perform a wedding ceremony for a young woman who had grown up in my youth ministry. As we traveled to and enjoyed Meghan & Travis’ wedding, there were a number of memorable moments:
o The beautiful picture
o The gorgeous invitations
o The nervous groom
o The beaming bride
o The kid who fell
- But my remarks? Who is going to remember my remarks? No one remembers what the preacher says in a wedding; we just hope he doesn’t go long.
- But I struggled with writing a new ceremony anyway. Call me an idealist, I wanted to try to explain why God created marriage. So I asked him; “God, why did you create marriage?” As I prayed and considered the question at hand, I found myself drawn to a fairly predictable text: Genesis 2.
§ Genesis 2: 18+
· God looks at the man and sees its not good for the man to be alone.
· Adam views the animals and isn’t impressed (Aren’t you glad Adam didn’t take a strong liking to the walrus?
· So, Adam takes a nap and Eve is formed
· BUT – why?
§ Verse 18 – Remember, God makes an observation: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
· Its not Adam that notices this, but God.
· Its not about happiness, loneliness… So what is it about. Remember our rules of reading the Bible – read the context; notice what precedes and follows a text.
· Following the story of Eve’s creation: “And the man and the woman were naked and felt no shame.” Hmm.
· What precedes this story?
§ Go back to verse 15. Notice the verses immediately preceding this observation!
· “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’ The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
§ God knows what is coming – the temptation and the tearing away of humanity from this intimate life Adam has known. The rest of time as we know it, humanity will be looking and longing for some kind of supernatural re-capturing of intimacy with God.
§ SO, God creates as ‘Ezer!
עֵזֶר – ‘ezer – “helper suitable”
What is a suitable helper? I did a little research. Listen to a few of the other times the word ‘Ezer shows up in our Hebrew Testament:
“Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay.” Psalm 70:5
“O house of Israel, trust in the Lord – he is their help and shield. O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord – he is their help and shield. You who fear him, trust in the Lord – he is their help and shield.” Psalm 115:9-11
“I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2
I know marriage is wonderful. Some of the highest, happiest and best moments of my life have come in marriage. But what is God’s purpose in the creation of marriage isn’t about making us happy?
What if God created marriage to make me more holy!
God created in Eve a helper for Adam – to help him with the lifelong pursuit for holiness that will begin after the fall. This is a partner for holiness. God wants to use my marriage to grow me and shape me in holiness!
God intends marriage to be a safe place to discover my struggles with selfishness
- A bride was very nervous. It was right before the service. She wasn’t sure she could even walk down aisle. Her mother gave her some words of calming wisdom. She said to her. “Honey, there’s only three things you need to focus on. If you focus on these three things, you’ll be fine. The first is walking down the aisle. Just focus on walking down the aisle of the church. I know its rather long, but just concentrate on that. Don’t get caught up with those on either side of the aisle. Just focus on getting to the end of the aisle. Next, focus on the altar. It is your destination today. Make your way down the aisle to the altar. There you will stand before God with the man you love and will make vows to God and him. God will also make vows to you. Focus on the altar that represents the love God has for you in Jesus Christ. Last, focus on the hymn that the soloist will sing. In poetry and song, the hymn embodies God’s love for you in Christ, your love for your husband and his love for you. So, to help you not be so nervous, focus on those three things. Walking down the aisle, standing before the altar and listening to the hymn.”
The bride was very thankful to her mom for her words of advice. The family and friends gathered watched as she walked down the aisle and noticed a look of calm determination on her face. But as she passed them, they began to chuckle quietly. For along with the look of calm determination, she was mumbling three words over and over to help calm her nerves. As she passed them, they heard her saying, “Aisle, Altar, Hymn. Aisle, Altar, Hymn. Aisle, Altar, Hymn.”
- Marriage isn’t a lifetime of chances to change someone else – a safe place for me to discover changes I need to make inside of me. Nothing has revealed my own struggles with selfishness like being married.
That’s the reason you are making a ‘till death do we part promise – if you didn’t you’d leave – not because of someone else’s selfishness, out of embarrassment or indulgence of your own!
God intends marriage to be a learning environment about His covenant faithfulness
- Seeing our own struggles with covenant faithfulness, seeing someone else’s work in covenant faithfulness gives us a small, yet significant, insight into the nature of God’s commitment to us in His covenant faithfulness.
- Covenant faithfulness is a lifetime work – God has been faithful with us since our creation – and the more of our lives we spend learning to be faithful, the greater our growth in Christ and in our marriages.
God intends marriage to be a living testimony to the world about His love and grace
- A husband and wife are going through a difficult time in the marriage, now in its 12th year. So, the wife suggests that if each of them would just make a few small changes in their lifestyle and habits everything would be much better. Towards this end, she suggests they each make a suggestion each day. They’ll right down these suggestions and place them in a designated box. This way they can identify those little idiosyncrasies which might be driving their partner mad. The wife is then quite faithful in this new responsibility. Each day she looks for a habit or decision which her husband needs to change: putting the jelly lid back on the jelly jar, putting a certain lid back down after use, recoiling the garden hose after watering the garden…
- At the end of the appointed month, they each take out their suggestions and read through them. The husband reads his and agrees that many of these are areas where he would like to make changes. He shares with his wife, “I hope that if I can right a few of these it will make your day easier.”
- The wife begins reading the suggestions the husband wrote her. Each says the same thing. “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.”
- Anyone can identify faults and expect improvements. It is only through the lens of grace and agape love that we learn to love someone in full view of their shortcomings and faults.
- As the world discovers a different kind of love, a different kind of effort, they see a model or example of God’s love – a love that goes far beyond ‘what you do for me.’
So here’s your homework – become an ‘Ezer. Don’t try to ‘fix’ your spouse – work on your end of the deal this way – get ‘you’ out of God’s way. Since God wants to use you and your marriage to shape each of you in holiness, the best thing you can do is get you out of God’s way.
Since God wants to use my marriage to make me more holy, I will begin a practice of praying, where I…
ž Admit My Struggles with Selfishness
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3-4
Spend time each day confessing your struggles with selfishness – Don’t confess your spouses – just yours. Name them over and over and ask God for help in facing them.
ž Give Honor to My Mate
“Honor one another above yourselves.” Rom. 12:10
Spend your prayer time honoring, elevating, lifting your spouse in prayer. Fill your prayer with praise and thanksgiving for your mate.
ž Renew My Commitment to Our Covenant
Ask God to give you the conviction, the courage and the commitment to deepen and grow in your marriage covenant. Faithfulness in this covenant is going to take a lifetime of recommitment and growth.
Once a day, every day for the next seven days, pray like this!
- If you are here with us this morning and you are unmarried, please don’t leave under the impression that the only ‘ezer you can have is your spouse. Hardly. God provides people in our lives who act as his agents of growth to us. My point this morning is that in marriage we are intended to be ‘ezers to one another. God has people in your life who are moving you also towards holiness. If you find yourself one day considering marriage – then please remember these thoughts and consider if this potential spouse is someone who will allow God to use them to help you grow in holiness.
- If you are here this morning and your mate is not; perhaps your mate rarely, if ever, partners with you in the faith – please don’t be discouraged. First of all, God is using you to help that mate grow in their journey of faith. You may or may not see progress as you’d like to on in the ways you’d like to. But stay the course. Pray this prayer. Your selflessness and sacrifice will be powerful tools of God as He works to bless and love your spouse. Secondly, remember that God is using your spouse to grow you as well. Whether she or he knows it or not, God is using them to help you grow in holiness. And thirdly, always remember where God is in this: God is where God always is when His people struggle or wonder or question – in the midst of the challenge, in the long hours of uncertainty. God is and will continue to be with you.
- If you are married – and your spouse is here with you, I’d like to ask you to stand together at this time. I have a few vows I would like you to share in this morning. I’m sure they’re not the one you shared in your wedding – since I wrote these for this sermon and I probably wasn’t at your wedding.
- I’d ask you to repeat after me:
My Beloved
This morning I pledge
To be an Ezer to you
With God’s help
I will do all I can
To remove My selfishness from our marriage
When I fail
Please surround me with love
As a first step
I will pray
Against my selfishness
And in honor of you
Each day this week.
- Each day this week – pray. Pray against your selfishness; pray in honor and adoration of your mate; pray for courage and commitment to grow in your marriage covenant. And remember the Apostle Paul’s beautiful hymn of love describe God’s love for us and our goal of love for one another:
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always "me first," doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.” 1 Cor. 13 :4-7 (The Message)
