"Heaven Help the Home!"
Author: Dr. Neal Gray
Passage: Psalm 127:1, KJV
Purpose: Unless God builds our home, we labor in vain. The Lord must be at the center, both individually and as a family. Then God will make our roles of husband, wife, and children, very clear and joyful. Heaven will help our homes! The Lord will help our homes! Amen.
INTRODUCTION
Opening
I admit it: I’m a Christian. And it is Christ, His desire, and His gospel that motivate my actions. Okay. And I care for people’s well-being, too.
I also understand that the Christian family home is the most dynamic means of spreading our Christian faith. A Christian home stands out in bold relief in a pagan society. Christian families produce Christian children much better than unbelieving families. I love it when a person tells me, "Pastor, I’m a 3rd generation Christian." Paul knew of such a person, Timothy:
"When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also." (2 Timothy 1:5)
Friends, God can save pagan, unbelieving children--but He shouldn’t have to! Our homes must--really must--provide the distinctive Christian environment for our children. The disappearance of such homes from the scene alarms me. It ought to shake us awake. We can be helped only when we realize that it is God who must build our homes.
Scripture
Our Scripture is as follows:
"(A Song of degrees for Solomon.) Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain." (Psalm 127:1)
A FEW FAMILY "STORIES"
Introduction
Your family life can be, and should be, a life that includes many fun and rewarding things. Besides the wonderfulness of the husband/wife relationship, children are so rewarding. Here are a few jokes, or maybe true stories!
You Be Jesus!
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancakes off the griddle.
Their mother saw a teaching opportunity for a moral lesson. So Mom chimes in: "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ’Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’"
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
Why Did God Do That?
A father was at the beach with his son, a four-year old. As they walked together on the shore, they came to where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to heaven," the dad replied.
After a few moments of thought, the boy asked, "Did God throw him back down?"
A Wife is Good?
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny, a boy in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying as though he had a stomach ache, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife."
Ask the Real Blessing
The pastor’s wife invited some people to Sunday dinner after church. At the table, she turned to their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"Mommy, I don’t know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you have heard Mommy say when she talks to God," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head. "Lord," she started out so solemnly, "why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
Take My Allowance
After the church service one Sunday morning, a little boy walked up to the Pastor. "Here, Preacher, I want to give you half of my allowance this week," and he put two quarters in the pastor’s hand.
A bit stunned, but gratified as the little boy’s generosity, the Pastor replied, "Well, thank you, Tommy. But why?"
Tommy quickly answered, "Because my Daddy says you are one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had."
THE ART OF FAMILY LIVING
Introduction
Okay, well, let’s take a stab at preaching, shall we?
The Lord is waiting for us to get more serious about our family lives. As unhappy as the news is, I tell you today that your family and your children are at risk.
For example, I cry to think how common it is today for your child to be made to feel "unusual, strange, or different" from others at school, just because he or she is a Christian.
Parental Rejection Taught as Normal
So common it is today for the basic foundations of Christianity be at odds with even the teaching given at public schools. One of my seminary professors told the story of his daughter hearing such things.
Their daughter, Bev, burst into the house one afternoon. Finding Mom and Dad, Bev said, "Mom. Dad. I’ve got to tell you that I really love you and I don’t reject you. Our teacher today told us that, ’Many of you hate your homes, and that is okay. There is a sense in which you should reject it all.’ I just wanted you to know that I don’t reject you, and I don’t reject our home." Isn’t this horrible?!
During my early college years, I remember one physics professor asking us why a certain phenomenon happens. No one knew the answer. Hearing no answer he said, "Well...Jesus doesn’t make it happen." Even though I wasn’t a Christian then, his words seemed so very inappropriate.
I thank our God that many Christians are in the public school teaching profession; may the Lord increase their tribe!
==> Friends, without strong Christian homes, your children’s faith will not survive in the pagan society. YOUR HOME IS GOD’S GIFT FOR YOU TO RAISE GOOD, GODLY CHILDREN. Your home is the right place to correct the misguided teachings of this unbelieving society we live in.
The First Model Home
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a model society; nor do we have model homes. God displayed His model home in the Garden of Eden.
Remember, Adam had all of the friendly companionship of the animals. He lived in the plushest environment ever known. He even enjoyed the presence of God Himself. But GOD SAID SOMETHING WAS LACKING. He said that it was not good that Adam should be alone. So, God created Eve to form the first family. That family, God said, WAS GOOD.
God commanded Adam and Eve to have children, (see Genesis 1:28). This was and is the Divine design--to live in families with children. A model home.
Disruption in the Model Home
But as we all know, disruption came to the model home. What caused the disruption? Simple: Disobedience to God’s Word. Disobedience was the source of that disruption. Anyway you say it, SIN was the problem.
Sin drove the first parents out of the lovely garden and into hard work. Sin caused friction among brothers, leading even to murder. Sin disrupted family life then, and the pattern continues even today.
==> Now, parents, you may not want to hear this next statement, but it is one of the keys to it all: IF THERE IS SIN IN YOUR LIFE, YOU CAN EXPECT DISRUPTION IN YOUR FAMILY LIFE. It is going to happen.
==> Disobedience to God always, always, ALWAYS brings disruption.
God’s Divine Design for the Family
Since disobedience to God is the problem, it makes sublime sense to take care of that problem ASAP! You and your spouse have to ask, "How can we structure our family and our everyday life such that we will not sin."
==> We have to START AT THE BASICS, GOD’S BASICS. The FIRST THING IS TO OBEY GOD.
There simply is NO SUBSTITUTE FOR THIS ONE. Being a follower of Jesus but purposefully disobeying God is a sure recipe for disruption in your life. Why have you decided that being a "casual follower," a "part-time follower," a "one-foot here and one-foot there follower" is good?
Listen to me, you can’t expect that being "HOT" on Sunday and "COLD" on Monday will bring any satisfaction. All you will end up with is "LUKEWARM." We know what the Lord says about lukewarm, namely:
"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of My mouth." (Revelation 3:15-16)
God sent His Son, Jesus, to bring you back into the family of God. And you are in God’s family. I know you; you desire to be numbered among those who are called, "Christians." Being a part of God’s family is not a part-time relationship. Either you love Jesus, or you don’t. God help us.
SECOND, realize that God made a man and a woman to live together--one man and one woman--in the most intimate relationship ever, as husband and wife. Being a husband or a wife doesn’t mean that God is cut out of the plan. No.
The closer each partner moves toward God, the closer he or she is to each other. Moving closer to God automatically brings us closer to our spouse! And closeness to God brings the other person into focus.
==> The psalm (127:1) brings the concept into focus for us: "Except the LORD build the house...except the LORD keep the city...." God does the work: He builds; He guards. His primary requirement for us is that we each move closer to God. Husband and wife both moving closer to God. This is right.
The Husband Leads
Let’s talk about the husband for a moment. God’s divine design is that the husband is the head of the home. Because, and only because, it is God’s divine design, this provides authority in the relationship.
But any authority in the Christian life-style is tempered by the condition of submission. None of us are leaders in our own right; WE ARE, BY NATURE, SERVANTS ALL. But some of the servants are given roles of leadership.
==> That’s the situation with the husband. He is not "better" than the wife. But in God’s divine design, he serves by leading the family.
The Husband’s Role
Let’s get rid of some bad ideas that float around about the husband’s role:
1. The husband is not a dictator.
2. The husband is not superior in any way.
3. The husband is not the exclusive decision-maker.
4. The husband is not always right.
5. The husband is always responsible to God for his actions in the family.
==> Wives, let me hit you with a challenge: are you making it easier or harder for your Christian husband to function in his role? Often a wife will say, "My husband just won’t function as the leader of our home." Really? Is it that he won’t take the leadership, or that you won’t yield it to him?
The Wife’s Calling
Okay, since I’m there already, let’s talk wives. I’m sure you’re aware, (probably painfully aware!), that the Bible calls on you to "submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord," (Ephesians 5:22).
==> The crucial question here is: are you willing to submit yourself, not first of all to your husband, but as unto the Lord, to His plan for your functioning in the marital relationship?
The Wife’s Role
Don’t let anybody fog up the issue for you. IF YOU CANNOT SUBMIT TO YOUR CHRISTIAN HUSBAND’S LEADERSHIP, then your problem is not only with your husband. You problem is also with your Lord. You have not faced the basic issue of the Lordship of Christ in all areas of your life.
Submission to Christ will bring all other submission issues into clear focus: "Except the LORD build the house...except the LORD keep the city...."
==> GOD FIRST, HUSBAND ALONGSIDE. Submit to God to allow Him to build your home. He will do it when you yield. The Lord will never intrude, however, where there is disobedience.
Happy Marriage Recipe
I told you that the husband, and the wife, will move closer to each other as they move closer to God. It’s true. YOU CAN ALSO PURPOSEFULLY MOVE CLOSER TO EACH OTHER! Here is a recipe for a happy marriage. It has been floating around for awhile, but you should hear it:
Ingredients Amount
Love 55 gallons
Warmth 2 cups
Forgiveness 1 cup
Hope 4 spoons
Tenderness 1 gallon
Faith in Christ 1 truckload
Laughter 2 pints
Actions
(Alter the amounts as needed.)
1. Combine love and warmth
2. Mix thoroughly with tenderness
3. Add forgiveness, blend with friendship and hope
4. Stir in faith and laughter
5. Bake with sunshine, God’s warmth, and your smile
6. Serve daily in generous helpings
==> And, PLEASE LET HEAVEN HELP YOUR HOME! Heaven will--when we invite God to live there! Use this recipe to move closer to your children, too!
The Children You Love
Let’s talk children. Do you remember the day? That little "other person" came into your home.
At first there was no one else, just us two. Then all the indications pointed toward...something’s happening here! The doctor called. Pregnancy! Think of it, OUR BABY!
She was born, warm and wiggly. Hungry, too. Hungry for food; hungry for attention. You cared very much about everything she did. She never asked, "Who am I?" She somehow knew she was yours, the object of your love, THE LIVING PROOF OF YOUR ONE-FLESH RELATIONSHIP.
Loved. Wanted. Cared for. Most children in normal homes start out that way. And the Bible assumes that children are naturally loved and cared for.
"Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" (Matthew 7:9)
Jesus asks this question in a way that implies there is only one possible answer: No loving parent would give a child a stone to eat when the child asked for bread. And of course that is true. You love your children.
But what happens to fray the parent-child relationship? Why so often do the bonds of love wear thin and even break during the tough teen years? Why does a parent so often resent the bold presence of his children a mere 10 years or so after he has welcomed them so warmly into the world?
The answer is the same: "Except the LORD build the house...except the LORD keep the city...." God first, husband or wife alongside, children very close behind.
"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward." (Psalm 127:3)
That other "little person" came from you! Please keep loving your children, no matter what they may say, think, or do.
Some Guidelines for Raising Children
While I could spend hours with the books that have been written on rearing emotionally healthy children--while keeping your own sanity--I’ll only offer a few broad suggestions for raising children:
1. Practice a sincere respect for your child’s worth, from the very beginning of life.
2. Provide all of your child’s basic needs, but be somewhat choosy in providing his or her wants.
3. Expose your children to real life experiences. Use births, marriages, deaths and disasters as teaching times.
4. Talk to your children everyday! Teach them to follow the Savior Jesus at every moment. Help your child set worthy life’s goals.
5. Teach your child the "how-to" of daily life, so that he or she may function in society without frustration.
6. And, set reasonable, livable limits for your child’s behavior.
Some don’t’s, never’s, and you’ll be sorry’s:
* Don’t threaten--you’ll ruin your own authority
* Don’t bribe--bargaining makes both of you losers
* Don’t lose your temper--a clear demonstration of your own lack of control
* Don’t refuse to explain--they will go elsewhere to find out, and you will be on the outside
* Don’t use sarcasm or embarrassment--the fastest way to demolish any relationship, and,
* Don’t dash their dreams--your ticket to widen the generation gap!
==> I’ll put it in the positive: when a child lives with parents who believe in him, he instinctively holds a higher view of himself and of his brothers and sisters, too. Everybody’s sense of worth is enhanced.
Parent, are you frustrated in child rearing? The title of one of Dr. Dobson’s books says it well, "Parenting Isn’t for Cowards." You are the parent. You are the Christian adult. Be strong in the Lord.
Live by this age-old method, GET YOURSELF CLOSER TO YOUR GOD: "Except the LORD build the house...except the LORD keep the city...."
Try Him. See for yourself if my claim and the Bible’s claim and so many other Christian parents’ claims are true. Our very best Lord will build your home with solid strength that is gentle and lasting!
CONCLUSION
Priorities for Family Life
To close this message, let me give you some workable, practical, priorities for your family and church life.
1. First priority is your personal relationship with Jesus.
2. Second relational priority is your relationship with your spouse.
3. Close behind your spouse comes your children.
4. Church is next.
5. All others after that.
Don’t let the world keep you from God. Don’t let the world, or even your church, keep you from your family.
==> But, but, BUT...don’t keep yourself from God. Don’t keep yourself from your church. And don’t keep yourself out of touch with your family.
The Lord Builds Our Home
The idea of the psalm is that God wants to build our home: "Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it." The main difference between Christians and others is that we take God seriously.
* We really do believe that He is the central reality of all existence.
* We really do pay attention to what He is and to what He does.
* We really do order our lives in response to that reality and not to some other.
==> PAYING ATTENTION TO GOD INVOLVES A REALIZATION THAT HE WORKS FOR OUR GOOD. And one place that God works--if we open ourselves to Him--is in the home. Heaven help the home! The Lord builds the home!
May we experience this year nothing less than "Heaven helping our home!"
AMEN.
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| Copyright 2002 |
| Practical Holiness Ministry (r) |
| "BRINGING PRACTICAL IDEAS TO |
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| 8510 Fowler Ave -- Baltimore, Maryland 21234 |
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