God’s Perfect Family Man
DBF 1/6/02
Genesis 30
A. Jacob’s Poor Example
B. Jacob’s Twelve Sons
C. God’s Perfect Provision
What is a perfect family man?
Is it a father who is present with his children as they grow?
Is it a husband who loves his wife and family above all else?
Is it a friend in sickness and in health?
Is it someone you can talk to without the private thoughts you share ever being revealed in places they should not?
Is it someone who reverences their parents, and continually provides for them?
Is it someone who catches moose and caribou and provides it to the family?
Is it someone who teaches all that is right to his family and sets the example that is often difficult in the present day?
This perfect family man is something somewhat different if you ask anyone here in
Dillingham and it is different if you ask anyone from anywhere. What we normally look at is our own family and search for what best attributes we would see in our Father, Uncles, older relatives and brothers.
That there is a great void in what we here feel are :Perfect Family Men is not surprising. It’s not that easy to go and get a #1 Best Seller entitled “Being the Perfect Family Man”, because that would be biased in our current situation. If I were a politician, my idea would probably be something akin to “I can do anything, as long as my family or the media do not find out.” If I were a movie star protecting and hiding my siblings while I was seeking myself would probably be what I believed to be the perfect family man. We often see the best human virtues by parents that are not well to do in this present age, but this still does not answer our question: What is God’s perfect family man. Let us look into the situation with Jacob in chapter 30 of Genesis and see some things that we should prayerfully avoid.
Jacob’s Poor Example Vs. God’s Desired Example
30And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.
Genesis 30
1And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die. 2And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb? 3And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her. 4And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her. 5And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son. 6And Rachel said, God hath judged me, and hath also heard my voice, and hath given me a son: therefore called she his name Dan. 7And Bilhah Rachel’s maid conceived again, and bare Jacob a second son. 8And Rachel said, With great wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and I have prevailed: and she called his name Naphtali. 9When Leah saw that she had left bearing, she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife. 10And Zilpah Leah’s maid bare Jacob a son. 11And Leah said, A troop cometh: and she called his name Gad. 12And Zilpah Leah’s maid bare Jacob a second son. 13And Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed: and she called his name Asher.
A good marriage is not one where perfection reigns: it is a relationship where a healthy perspective overlooks a multitude of “unresolvables.” James Dobson
As we read the beginning of our Chapter today we see that all is not paradise in Jacob’s family, and this extends from several sources.
Rachel envied her sister Leah; envy is grieving at the good of another, there may be no sin more hateful to God, or more hurtful to our neighbors and ourselves.
Rachael did not consider that God made the difference in her life and her relationship, and that in other things she had the advantage. We as people must continually guard against the fleshly narcissistic desires within us that tend to allow us to turn into ourselves and our own best interests continually and instead give ourselves fully in service to Christ. We should not evilly envy the things of others which causes us to have evil desires towards any of our fellow-servants.
Jacob loved Rachel, and therefore reproved her for what she said, and this is what God would expect of a Godly family man. Faithful reproofs show true affection and Godly love. But he quickly followed up the good practice with one of folly, much as his grandfather Abram his done previously.
At the persuasion of Rachel for her lack of providing children, Jacob took Bilhah her handmaid to wife, that, according to the usage of those times, her children might be owned as her mistress’s children. If Rachel’s heart had not been influenced by evil passions, she would have thought her sister’s children nearer to her, and more entitled to her care than Bilhah’s. But children whom she had a right to rule, were more desirable to her than children she had more reason to love. As an early instance of her power over these children, she takes pleasure in giving them names that carry in them marks of rivalry with her sister. See what roots of bitterness envy and strife are, and what mischief they make among relations.
At the persuasion of Leah, Jacob took Zilpah her handmaid to wife also. See the power of jealousy and rivalry.
We should admire the wisdom of the Divine appointment, which joins together one man and one woman only; for God hath called us to peace and purity.
Marriage was instituted in Paradise when man was in innocence (Gen. 2:18-24). Here we have its original charter, which was confirmed by our Lord, as the basis on which all regulations are to be framed (Matt. 19:4, 5).
4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
It is evident that monogamy was the original law of marriage (Matt. 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16).
16What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
This law was violated in after times, when corrupt usages began to be introduced (Gen. 4:19; 6:2). And we meet with the prevalence of polygamy and concubinage in the patriarchal age (Gen. 16:1-4; 22:21-24; 28:8, 9; 29:23-30, etc.). Polygamy was acknowledged in the Mosaic law and made the basis of legislation, and continued to be practiced all down through the period of Jewish history to the Captivity, after which there is no instance of it on record.
Jesus Christ our Lord corrected many false notions that existed on the subject of marriage (Matt. 22:23-30),
23The same day came to him the Sadducees, which say that there is no resurrection, and asked him, 24Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. 25Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother: 26Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh. 27And last of all the woman died also. 28Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. 29Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. 30For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven
Christ placed it as a divine institution on the highest grounds. The apostles state clearly and enforce the nuptial duties of husband and wife (Eph. 5:21-33;
21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Col. 3:18, 19;
18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Pet. 3:1-7)
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Marriage is said to be “honourable” (Heb. 13:4), and the prohibition of it is noted as one of the marks of degenerate times (1 Tim. 4:3). We can easily see the degeneration of peace in the family of Jacob in and between his four wives.
Jacob’s Twelve Sons
14And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son’s mandrakes. 15And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son’s mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night for thy son’s mandrakes. 16And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son’s mandrakes. And he lay with her that night. 17And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son. 18And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband: and she called his name Issachar. 19And Leah conceived again, and bare Jacob the sixth son. 20And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun. 21And afterwards she bare a daughter, and called her name Dinah. 22And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb. 23And she conceived, and bare a son; and said, God hath taken away my reproach: 24And she called his name Joseph; and said, The LORD shall add to me another son.
The desire of most Jewish women became to be the ultimate mother, the mother of the promised seed--the “Messiah”. This was good in itself, with the honor of having many children, and the reproach of being barren. This was a cause of this unbecoming contest between these sisters and would be a reproach that stretches to this very day. The truth appears to be, that they were influenced by the promises of God to Abraham; whose posterity were promised the richest blessings, and from whom the Messiah was to descend.
The sons in order are: (Leah)Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, (Bilhah)Dan, Naphtali, (Zilpah)Gad, Asher, (Leah)Issachar, Zebulun, (Rachel)Joseph, and Benjamin. There is also a sister Dinah through Leah.
These would become the twelve tribes of Israel that would come into the promised land. God would miraculously provide for the nation through there fortunes and misfortunes.
Will you turn with expectation to God again today? As he has provided for HIS chosen seed from the beginning, HE seeks to continue to do so today. Will you turn to HIM with your most urgent needs today? Will you follow HIM through what may seem as misfortunes for your benefits as well as your families?
God’s Perfect Provision
25And it came to pass, when Rachel had born Joseph, that Jacob said unto Laban, Send me away, that I may go unto mine own place, and to my country. 26Give me my wives and my children, for whom I have served thee, and let me go: for thou knowest my service which I have done thee. 27And Laban said unto him, I pray thee, if I have found favour in thine eyes, tarry: for I have learned by experience that the LORD hath blessed me for thy sake. 28And he said, Appoint me thy wages, and I will give it. 29And he said unto him, Thou knowest how I have served thee, and how thy cattle was with me. 30For it was little which thou hadst before I came, and it is now increased unto a multitude; and the LORD hath blessed thee since my coming: and now when shall I provide for mine own house also? 31And he said, What shall I give thee? And Jacob said, Thou shalt not give me any thing: if thou wilt do this thing for me, I will again feed and keep thy flock. 32I will pass through all thy flock to day, removing from thence all the speckled and spotted cattle, and all the brown cattle among the sheep, and the spotted and speckled among the goats: and of such shall be my hire. 33So shall my righteousness answer for me in time to come, when it shall come for my hire before thy face: every one that is not speckled and spotted among the goats, and brown among the sheep, that shall be counted stolen with me. 34And Laban said, Behold, I would it might be according to thy word. 35And he removed that day the he goats that were ringstreaked and spotted, and all the she goats that were speckled and spotted, and every one that had some white in it, and all the brown among the sheep, and gave them into the hand of his sons. 36And he set three days’ journey betwixt himself and Jacob: and Jacob fed the rest of Laban’s flocks.
37And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods. 38And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink. 39And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstreaked, speckled, and spotted. 40And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ringstreaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban’s cattle. 41And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods. 42But when the cattle were feeble, he put them not in: so the feebler were Laban’s, and the stronger Jacob’s. 43And the man increased exceedingly, and had much cattle, and maidservants, and menservants, and camels, and asses
After faithfully serving for fourteen years, Jacob was willing to depart without any provision, except God’s promise. Although he had in many ways a just claim on Laban’s substance, and it was the will of God that he should be provided for from it.
We see the change in Jacob in that he referred his cause to God, rather than agree for stated wages with Laban, whose selfishness was very great.
It appears that Jacob acted honestly with Laban, when none but those of the colors agreed upon should be found among his cattle. Laban selfishly thought that his cattle would produce few different in color from their own.
Jacob’s course after this agreement has been considered an instance of his policy and management. But any providence was done by intimation from God, and as a token of his power and provision. The Lord will one way or another plead the cause of the oppressed, and honor those who simply trust in his providence.
Laban couldn’t complain of Jacob, for he had nothing more than was freely agreed that he should have; nor was Laban injured, but greatly benefited by Jacob’s services for the past years. May all our mercies be received with thanksgiving and prayer, that coming from his bounty, they may lead to the Praise of God.
Whatever our hopes, whatever our desires we should place our hopes and desires in the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob indeed the God of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
This is the first step in walking towards a position as a Perfect Family Man in the Eyes of Christ. Every man will have to answer one day to God for the direction his family takes. I pray that your feelings are as Jacobs…”As for me and my family we will follow the Lord.” In so doing you will daily become more and more like our Lord and Savior and daily a more fitting example of what God intends a Family Man to be. The first step of course is to accept “Jesus Christ” as your Lord and Savior. If you have not done so you can do so now. If you have any prayers or needs please let us know we would love to pray for you. In all things continue to strive for the light that is in Christ Jesus Our Lord.
Closing Prayer.
