¡§PRAYING FOR YOUR CHILDREN¡¨
Luke 18:1
¡§Now He was telling them a parable to show
that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart¡K¡¨
What is your plan for succeeding as a parent?¡K as a family?
First of all, I hope you have one¡K a plan that includes biblical goals for your family and especially for raising children. Every Christian family needs a biblical strategy for raising, educating and equipping their children for living for Christ in the midst of a fallen world. One purpose of this series is to help you develop or refine one. If you are a normal Christian parent then you probably have read articles, books, seen videos about marriage, parenting methods, schooling options and may have even attended various seminars, conferences and workshops. These are or can be good things.
But I want you to know something if that is what you are counting, depending on to make it as a family or a parent, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment or failure.
Over the last 30 ¡V 40 years, more books have been written and more seminars given about marriage and family life than in all the preceding 2000 years of church history and yet there are more troubled families today than in any other era of church history. We have all the how-to¡¦s by so-called experts, but families are coming apart at a higher rate than ever before within the church. The same issue is true in parenting. We may own or consult stacks of books on raising children, go to the finest seminars on the how-to¡¦s of Christian parenting or schooling and yet we have more problems per square inch today with young people in the American church than at any previous time in church history. I am not talking about kids who got saved from non-Christian homes and now attend, but those who have grown up in the church¡K those who have had good parents with good methods, good activities and all different types of schooling¡K
ƒá I want to talk with you today about the one resource in parenting you cannot do without¡K
ć I want to talk with you today about the one part of parenting that you cannot leave out and still succeed.
ć I want to talk with you about the easiest and simplest thing to do as a parent, yet the one thing that is the quickest and easiest to be put aside or forgotten when things get hectic or schedules get full.
ć I want to talk with you about the one essential you will fall back on in every season of your life
I want to talk with you about praying for your child¡K
Review: Series „³The Word On Parenting (4 major parts or divisions to this study)
ƒá Part 1: God and Your Child (How God sees your child, value, goals for¡K)
ć Part 2: You and Your God (Your walk with God as foundational to all you will do as a parent)
Today we begin Part 3: You and Your Child [Loving, teaching, training, disciplining, setting boundaries, honoring, valuing, communicating with and other factors that go into providing the right environment for your children. Growing godly children requires the right environment.
I.e. Psalm 128¡K 1 How blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, Who walks in His ways. 2 When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands, You will be happy and it will be well with you.3 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine, Within your house, Your children like olive plants Around your table. 4 Behold, for thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the LORD.
Wife: fruitful vine --- source of life and nourishment, bearing fruit
Children ¡V little olive plants ¡K individuals, own bents and traits, yet born to reproduce after their kind.
What God¡¦s sunlight is to a plant, your prayers are to your child.
Just as God¡¦s sunlight is essential to the healthy growth and development of a plant,
so your prayers are essential to the healthy growth and development of your child.
TITLE: Praying For Your Child
Big Idea: Growing godly children involves depending on God in prayer.
It is possible to pray and not really depend on God, but it is not possible to depend on God without praying.
Growing godly children involves depending on God in prayer.
Primary Text: Luke 18:1 ¡§Now He [Jesus] was telling them a parable to show that at all times they
ought to pray and not to lose heart ¡K (to not give up)¡¨
I am not going to teach you the parable, but the principle as it applies to parenting:
Principle: Parents ought to depend on God in prayer at all times and not lose heart (give up)¡K
I want to talk about:
ƒá The Seasons of a Parent¡¦s Prayer
ƒá The Substance of a Parent¡¦s Prayer
ƒá The Seriousness of a Parent¡¦s Prayer
1ST The Seasons of a Parent¡¦s Prayer
ƒá Season before you have children¡K. Praying perhaps to have a child
Some couples are blessed to have children quickly/ easily¡K
Some couples pray for years and silently ache for God to bless them with a child¡K
ć Season of Pregnancy: Praying for a healthy child and healthy mom
ƒá Season of the parenting the early years: infancy ¡V toddler
All new to you at least the first time¡K
Fearful as a parent¡K do the right thing, good parent, right choices, health and safety of child.
ć Season of Parents of Pre-school years: Pray for Salvation, unique needs of your child; (patience for you)
ƒá Season of Parents of Grade Schoolers: friends, protection, success¡K
ƒá Season of Parents with kids in early Teen Years: puberty 13 ¡V 15ish
You¡¦re Asking: Who is this kid? Whose kid is this?
Your Teen : Body is changing and mind is racing with new thoughts and feelings (Who am I?)
ƒá Season of Parents letting go: Begins with the Driver¡¦s License --- until leave home
Everything changes when your growing child begins to drive¡K date
You begin to realize that you are losing control¡K and no matter how hard you try to direct their lives, they are on their way to making their own decisions and experience the consequences of those decisions; I promise you if you haven¡¦t discovered the importance of prayer before this, you will discover it now. Its all you really have. Its what will make the difference in you and your child.
ƒá Season of Parents of Young Adults & beyond¡K for their marriage, for them to have children, healthy pregnancy, Then you begin all over again with grand children¡K if God so blesses you with them.
If I could write one verse over all the seasons of a parent¡¦s prayers I would write:
(2 Cor 12:9) And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
ƒá Paraphrased: "God¡¦s grace and presence is all you really need. His power works best in our weakness." So lets admit need to depend on God and rejoice in our weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through us and in us as we depend on God in prayer.¡¨ (My grace, presence and power is sufficient for you.)
ƒá You may have prayed to have a child and you¡¦d make great parents, but God did not give you one.
(My grace, presence and power is sufficient for you.)
ƒá You may have prayed for a healthy child and healthy mother, but God may have entrusted a child with special needs to you¡K (My grace, presence and power is sufficient for you.)
ƒá You may pray for the health and safety of your child and to do the right thing, but God may not always answer yes to your heartfelt prayer¡K and inspite of your prayers for patience you find a part of you that you have never seen and do not like. (My grace, presence and power is sufficient for you.)
ƒá You may pray for your child to make the right choices with friends, and dating and other things¡K but they may not always make the right choices¡K.(My grace, presence and power is sufficient for you.)
ƒá You may be dealing with a prodigal son or daughter and need to accept that you can¡¦t fix it because you have an adult child making his or her own sinful choices no matter how good a parent you¡¦ve been¡K
(My grace, presence and power is sufficient for you.)
If you are fortunate you will learn to depend on God in prayer early in the seasons¡K
ILL: Lessons learned early on¡K
Pregnancy¡K Toxemia, C-section, J&K head-bangers¡K teaching dependence on God in prayer in each season (teenage heart break, medical crises, accidents and illnesses, launching off on their own¡K)
2ND The Substance of a Parent¡¦s Prayers
What are we to pray for when it comes to our children?
To some extent it depends on the season that they and you are in¡K. (you will know what to pray for)
But there are also foundational things to be praying about consistently and never give up¡K
1. SALVATION: Your child¡¦s salvation¡K. That he or she would come to understand the gospel and trust in Jesus Christ as savior preferably at an early age.
2. COMMITMENT: Your child¡¦s commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord as well as Savior ¡K your child will love the Lord with all his or her heart, soul, mind and strength¡K (for some = Repentance)
3. IDENTITY: Your child to learn, know and believe who he or she is in Christ¡K image of God, valuable to God no matter how they look, feel or perform¡K St., secure, loved, New ID in Christ¡K
4. CONVICTIONS ¡K that your child will develop convictions from the Word of God that will control the choices of his or her life¡K (will not be without struggles¡Ki.e Butterfly strength comes from the struggle)
5. FUTURE ¡K. Schooling, possible mate, career, career, ¡K (When early on)
6. PURITY of God ¡K desire to please God over self¡K.(heart, mind, body¡K Who do you dress for?)
7. PROGRESS in the faith
8. POWER of God¡K they would experience the works of God in their own lives in response to prayer¡K
I.e. Let us get down on our knees and look for it¡K Let¡¦s pray about it son/daughter¡K
DON¡¦T PRAY IT SAFE PARENTS!!!!
9. PALS ¡K Offensively„³ Christian friends/ teachers that reinforce their faith and godly walk¡K +peer psi
Defensively „³ remove people of questionable character from their lives¡K
10. PROTECTION¡K
¡K from the evil one
¡K from getting away with sin / deceit (exposure)
(Dozens more: worship, joy, love the word, hate sin, love righteousness and people, glorify God, respect those in authority, wisdom, faith, understanding, discernment, life partner¡K, full armor, humility¡K serve God¡Kgood parents¡Ketc.)
¡§TO HOW TO¡¦S¡¨ :
ƒá Strategic Praying: Journal & Cards:All of the above and very special situations that each may have faced or is facing. Planned praying through the week. If you are blessed with a believing spouse: Praying together ¡K don¡¦t lose heart.
ć Spontaneous Praying:
All the time as God brings to mind¡K
As special situations & Crises that occur¡K. ILL: Healing of John¡¦s Skull¡K
If I were to write a Scripture over this section it would be James 5:16b ¡§The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.¡¨ Restate for a praying parent: The labored prayer of a godly parent is powerful and effective and accomplishes more than you¡¦ll ever know. Never give up.
3RD The Seriousness of a Parent¡¦s Prayer
We said: Growing godly children involves depending on God in prayer.
AND: It is possible to pray and not really depend on God,
but it is not possible to depend on God without praying.
Are you really depending on God?
Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it;
John 15: ¡§Apart from me you can do nothing¡K apart from depending on Me as your life blood and
life force you will not see spiritual results¡K includes in your parenting¡K
1 Tim 2:1-4 First of all {OF THE UTMOST PRIORITY}, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men¡K(includes our children)
Hebrews 4:16 ¡§Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.¡¨
Did not say let us draw near to a stack of books on parenting¡K. Seminars and conferences¡K the sermon on Sunday¡K a method of schooling on Monday¡K did not say draw near to your own ideas and abilities¡K
He said let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.¡¨
Are you raising children? Then you are in a time of need and God (king of heaven..universe)
has mercy in grace stored up for you¡Kto help you¡K
James said¡K We do not have because we do not ask¡K or we ask amiss¡K
All the seasons of prayer for parents involve times of testing and growing:
I want to leave you with the secret to the Words of Jesus in Luke 18:1 ¡K ought always to pray and not lose heart (give up) „³ A Prayer to Pray and a Promise To Believe
ć Prayer to Pray
Eph 3:14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name,16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
ć Promise To Believe:
Eph 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 21 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
God is bigger than any problem you or your child will ever face. God is able to do more than you can ever dream of asking Him for ¡K Do you really think your child is the exception to God¡¦s power and ability?
Do you think you child¡¦s choices are too big for God?
ILL: Jim & Carol Cymbala & Daughter Chrissy
Psalm 50:15 ¡§Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver you¡K¡¨
All my talking about prayer faced a severe test several years ago when Carol and I went through the darkest two and-a-half year tunnel we could imagine. Our oldest daughter had been a model child growing up. But around age 16 she started to stray. ¡K She not only drew away from us, but also away from God. In time, she even left our home. There were many nights when we had no idea where she was.
As the situation grew more serious, I tried everything. I begged, I pleaded, I scolded, I argued, I tried to control her actions. Nothing worked; she just hardened more and more. Her boyfriend was everything we did not want for our child.
How I kept functioning through that period I don¡¦t know. Many a Sunday morning I would put on my suit, get into the car to drive to the Tabernacle early, ahead of Carol¡K and cry for the next 25 minutes, all the way to the church door.¡KWhile this with Chrissy was going on, we learned that Carol had cancer needed a hysterectomy..
Like any mother who loves her children Carol; was smitten with tremendous fear and distress. Her family meant more to her than a choir. One day she said to me, ¡¥Listen, we need to leave NY. I¡¦m serious. This atmosphere has already swallowed up our daughter. We can¡¦t keep raising kids here. If you want to stay you can --- but I¡¦m getting our other children out.¡¦ She wasn¡¦t kidding. She elected not to pack up and run after all. And it shortly after her surgery and at a very low point that God gave her a song that has touched more people than perhaps anything else she has written:
IN moments of fear, Through every pain, every tear,
There¡¦s a God who¡¦s been faithful to me. When my strength was all gone,
When my heart had no song, Still in love He¡¦s proved faithful to me.
Every word he¡¦s promised is true; What I thought was impossible, I see my God do.
He¡¦s been faithful, faithful to me, looking back, His love and mercy I see.
Though in my heart I have questioned, Even failed to believe, Yet He¡¦s been faithful to me.
When my heart looked away, The many times I could not pray,
Still my God, He was faithful to me. The days I spent so selfishly,
Reaching out for what pleased me; Even when God was faithful to me
Every time I come back to Him, He is waiting with open arms, And I see once again.
He¡¦s been faithful, faithful to me, looking back, His love and mercy I see.
Though in my heart I have questioned, Even failed to believe, Yet He¡¦s been faithful to me.
Were we calling on the Lord through all of this? In a sense we were. But I couldn¡¦t help jumping in to take action on my own, too¡Ktrying to make something happen¡K but the more I pressed, the worse Chrissy got. Then one November, I was alone in Florida when I received a call from a minister whom I had persuaded Chrissy to talk to. ¡§Jim¡¨ he said, ¡§I love you and your wife, but the truth of the matter is, Chrissy is going to do what Chrissy¡¦s going to do. You don¡¦t really have much choice, now that she¡¦s 18. She¡¦s determined. You¡¦re going to have to accept whatever she decides.¡¨
I hung up the phone. Something very deep within me began to cry out. ¡§Never! I will never accept Chrissy being away from you Lord. I knew if she continued on the present path, there would be nothing but destruction awaiting her.
God strongly impressed me to stop crying, screaming or talking to anyone else about Chrissy. I was to converse with no one but God. In fact, I knew I should have no further contact with Chrissy¡Xuntil God acted. I was just to believe and obey what I had preached so often--- Call upon Me in the day of trouble and I will answer you! I dissolved in a flood of tears. I knew I had to let go of this situation.
¡KOne cold Tuesday night during the prayer meeting, ¡KAn usher handed me a note. A young woman whom I felt to be spiritually sensitive had written: Pastor Cymbala, I feel impressed that we should stop the meeting and all pray for your daughter.
IN a few minutes I picked up the microphone and told the congregation what just happened. ¡§The truth of the matter,¡¨ I said, ¡§although I haven¡¦t talked much about it, is that my daughter is very far form God these days. She thinks up is down, and down is up; dark is light and light is dark. But I know God can break through to her, and so I¡¦m going to ask Pastor Boekstaaf to lead us in praying for Chrissy. Let¡¦s all join hands across the sanctuary.¡¨ ¡KTo describe what happened next minutes, I can only employ a metaphor: The church turned into a labor room. The sounds of women giving birth are not pleasant, but the results are wonderful. There arose a groaning, a sense of desperate determination, as if to say, ¡¥Satan, you will not have this girl. Take your hands off her --- she¡¦s coming back.¡¦
Thirty-two hours later, on Thursday morning, as I was shaving, Carol suddenly burst through the door, her eyes wide. ¡§Go downstairs!¡¨ she blurted. ¡§Chrissy¡¦s here.¡¨
¡§Chrissy here?¡¨
¡§Yes. Go downstairs¡K..It¡¦s you she wants to see.¡¨
I wiped off the shaving foam and headed down the stairs my heart pounding. As I came around the corner, I saw my daughter on the kitchen floor, rocking on her hands and knees, sobbing.
¡§Chrissy?¡¨
She grabbed my pantleg and began pouring out her anguish. ¡§Daddy¡XDaddy¡XI¡¦ve sinned against God. I¡¦ve sinned against myself. I¡¦ve sinned against you and Mommy. Please forgive me---.
My vision was clouded by tears as hers. I pulled her up from the floor and held her close as we cried together. Suddenly she drew back. ¡§Daddy,¡¨ who was praying for me? Who was praying for me?¡K.On Tuesday night who was praying for me? {That same Tuesday evening Chrissy was awakened by a terrible dream/nightmare. In it she could see herself heading toward a bottomless pit. She felt terrified, realizing her sin was leading her straight to Hell. But as she dreamed, she also felt God holding her back from the edge and lifting her up. IN the midst of her fear God was telling her how much He loved her.}
Through all of this Carol and I learned as never before that persistent calling upon the Lord breaks through every stronghold of the devil, for nothing is impossible with God. For Christians in these troubled times, there simply is no other way.
Carol: I wish I could tell you that our nightmare with our daughter was something unusual; something you will never need to face in your own family. But you know as well as I that similar struggles are being played out every day in families across the country. Perhaps you¡¦ve seen your own children sliding away from you an inch at a time, or maybe you feel you¡¦ve lost them years ago. If you have faced such a challenge in your own family, your faith may be under assault as mine was. Although I struggled through out the ordeal¡K.I can honestly say that God is faithful. I can also tell you from painful experience that the very worst thing you can do when your children or someone you love is in trouble is to begin doubting God¡¦s power or desire to save them. Believe me He has not forgotten our situation or us. He has promised to hold our hand as we stand on His promise to recover the precious property Satan has tried to steal.
If we are going to fight, our battle can only be won through prayer. We must draw closer than ever to God, believing in His faithfulness. ¡§Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you.¡¨ These are not empty words but a clear promise from Almighty God. Through out the struggle however, long or short it mast; we will certainly be attacked by confusion. We will be tempted to give up. But just as God gave me grace to stay, even when I wanted to run, he will give you the grace to do what ever it takes to fight for your children.
In ways you cannot possibly imagine, God will use the very attack of Satan on your children¡¦s lives to accomplish great things for His glory. Don¡¦t let the circumstances fool you. Don¡¦t let your faith be shaken. God¡¦s love is so powerful it can touch any heart, even the heart that seems impossibly far from Him.¡¨
