How to Handle Failure and Loss - Rom. 8:26-31
Have you ever known someone who seemed to enjoy success in nearly every aspect of their life? Many of these folks struggle to handle failure and loss because they have grown too accustom to triumphs. People who are unable to deal with an imperfect set of circumstances often sink into depression, anger or isolation.
Illustration:Hope means hoping when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all...As long as matters are really hopeful, hope is mere flattery or platitude; it is only when everything is hopeless that hope begins to be a strength.
G.K. Chesterton, Signs of the Times, April 1993
Hopelessness often creeps in to the minds of those who cannot seem to handle any kind of failure or loss. Let us look at a few guidelines for allowing the Spirit of God to help us deal with all types of failure and loss:
1. Believe that God is able to deliver you from any disappointment in a way that will bring goodness, blessings and greater glory to Him and His purposes in your life. Those who believe in Him will not be disappointed, Paul wrote in Romans 5. There is great power in believing God for His promises.
We are able to tolerate misfortune and hardship and disappointments when we know that God is able to intercede for our good in all things. (Rom. 8:28)
Illustration:"Here it appears either Paul or Barnabas went too far. It must have been a violent disagreement to separate two associates who were so closely united. Indeed, the text indicates as much.
"Such examples are written for our consolation: for it is a great comfort to us to hear that great saints, who have the Spirit of God, also struggle. Those who say that saints do not sin would deprive us of this comfort.
"Samson, David, and many other celebrated men full of the Holy Spirit fell into grievous sins. Job and Jeremiah cursed the day of their birth; Elijah and Jonah were weary of life and desired death.
"No one has ever fallen so grievously that he may not rise again. Conversely, no one stands so firmly that he may not fall. If Peter (and Paul and Barnabas) fell, I too may fall. If they rose again, I too may rise again."
Martin Luther.
2. Thank God in advance for the way that His word and His Spirit will work in and through you for greater godly character as a result of the failure or loss. When we see God’s purpose in every disappointment we are able to over ride any feelings of depression. God is greater than any problem, failure or loss because He is sovereign in all situations.
3. Do not think it is strange or unusual to experience failure or loss. Many godly people throughout church history have undergone terrible defeats, failures and difficulties, but have exhibit resilience by the power of God’s Spirit working in them both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (Phil. 2:12-14) Thank God in advance instead of giving in to a feeling of complaining, murmuring or disputing. Be bigger than the problems you face with the help of Christ who helps you do everything He asks you to do. PHil. 4:13
4. Learn how to accept difficulties, failures and loss in a way that will lead to new and better doors of opportunity. Often times, as in the case of Joseph, Job and Paul, failures provided new opportunities for them to exhibit great displays of God’s mighty power in their lives. We can be assured that God is not going to let anyone down despite how we may feel at the time.
5. Gain a Biblical perspective by reading , studying and meditating on His word during times of failure and loss. The word of God has a sanctifying power that lifts us up above and beyond any failure and loss pointing us to things above. Give yourself a heightened perspective when by spending at least 15 minutes every morning reading and studying God’s word. Then you will make your ways prosperous and then you will have good success. (Josh. 1:8)
6. Be prepared to live, accept and be content with imperfections, disapointments and critical people. Know that God is able to fight all battles for you. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and curse not. (Rom. 12:14) God is able to use critical people to open up the silver lining beyind every dark cloud.
7. Remember that Jesus said, "As the Father has sent me so send I you." (john 20:21) Recognize that Jesus experienced great hardships, pains and loss but He went all the way to Calvary for our sake. Fix your eyes on Jesus who is the author and perfecter of your faith with His eyes on the joy that was before Him. (Heb 12:1,2)
Perhaps you need to take an inventory of all the joys, benefits and blessings you have in Christ and also in your heavenly home. Give thanks with a grateful heart, take a walk and praise God in song making melody in your heart for all the riches you have in Christ. All the spiritual blessings in the heavnely places in Christ are already yours - praise Him out loud.
8. Do not have such a judgmental, perfectionistic or lofty expectations about yourself or your accomplishments. Often times people set themselves up for feelings of failure and loss because they have unrealistic expectations. Have a sane estimate of your own abilities. (Rom. 12:3)
Stop comparing yourself with others since God has made you unique with special talents that only you possess. Engage in some kind of service where the Lord can use you to multiply His image, His kingdom and His message to those who are in greater need.
9. Remember that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. (Rom 3:23) Do not think that you have to be perfect in order to be accepted by God. Paul wrote, "Oh wretched man that I am, who will separate me from the body of this death." (Rom. 7:25) Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. IN Christ we find victory over any failure, loss or disappointment. Sing the song, "There’s victory in Jesus, my Savior forever. He sought me and bought me with His redeeming blood. He loved me ere I knew Him and all my life is due Him. He plunged me to victory beneath the cleansing flood."
Appropriate the victory given to you in Christ by orally expressing your thanks to Him in song.
10. Realize that some people try to deny their failure and so repress feelings that need to be dealt with. Recognize that these are not your problems. Do not allow others to project their problems to you. Take up the shield of faith. Set boundaries to protect yourself from people who are trying to project their problems to you.
11. Some people attack and judge others for their own failures. The Pharisees tried to do this with Jesus and the Jewish leaders did the same with Paul. Yet, Paul knew that he could be sorrowful yet always rejoicing, poor yet making many rich, having nothing and yet possessing all things. He knew that the best response to angry, judgmental people was to refuse to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good.
Paul and Jesus concentrated on doing good wherever they could and did not throw their pearls before swine. Do not waste your time on those who do not think they need a physician. Jesus said, "I did not come to healthy but to the sick."
12. Do not internalize failure or loss. Allow the grace, love and acceptance of God’s sovereign rule to overcome any feelings of depression you might have.
There are times when people need to seek medical help for clinical depression, but many times we need the reassurance that God’s grace, love and acceptance buoys us up when we fall into the pits of remorse or sadness.
13. Thank God for His forgiveness when you sin. Apply the power of The Spirit’s cleansing by quoting and praying, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9)
God’s Spirit is ready, willing and able to lift you back up on a rock that is higher than any human defeat.
14. Get around the company of people who love, trust and accept you for who you are. If you are always around negative people it will be hard to overcome feelings of failure and loss.
Find a fellowship that you can fit in with that does not condemn, criticize or speak negatively of you because of past failures. Go to places where you can pursue righteousness, love, and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." (2 Tim. 2:22-24)
15. Read and memorize I Cor. 13:4-7 allowing it to flood your mind, emotions and mouth with words of assurance that His love is greater than any feelings of failure or loss you might have. He is really for you. He loves you. He accepts you. His love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. His love for us never fails. Know that God hates the sin but always loves the sinner.
A man approached a little league baseball game one afternoon. He asked a boy in the dugout what the score was. The boy responded, "Eighteen to nothing--we’re behind."
"Boy," said the spectator, "I’ll bet you’re discouraged."
"Why should I be discouraged?" replied the little boy. "We haven’t even gotten up to bat yet!"
Source Unknown.
Do not let anything discourage you. Hope in God’s ability to help you do everything He asks you to do with the help of Christ who gives you the strength and power. (Phil. 4:13)
Conclusion:
