Taking the Good with the Bad - Romans 12:1-3
Introduction - Why do you suppose that many people live stressed out by anger, fear and worry? What are some of the reasons that more people seemed to suffer from burn out and fatigue than ever before. It is important to remember that "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Rom. 8:1) When we are able to completely surrender our rights, problems and perspectives to the Lord then we can fully appropriate the fact that we are under no condemnation. Just like Charles Wesley’s song, "No condemnation now I dread. I am my Lord’s and He is mine." Let us look at a few guidelines to help us stay on the track of no condemnation thinking, feeling and doing.
1. Be willing to roll all of your cares, fears and feelings of anger on to the Lord. (I Pet. 5:7) When we cast our burdens on the Lord we find that He is our ever present help and stay. However, those who fail to give God His rightful place in their lives will suffer from self-destructive tendencies in trying to control their own outcomes. Pray at all times in the Spirit.
2. Your conscience may be particularly apt to be harsh and critical on yourself because of your conditioning. Ask the Lord to give you the grace to not internalize hurt since we can learn to be greater than any problem through Christ Jesus our Lord.
3. Learn to lovingly accept whatever God allows to come into your life since He is able to deliver you from any and all problems. Thank Him for the truth of Romans 8;28 that He is able to work all things together for good as long as you love Him and are called according to His purpose. God always helps us find a way when there seems to be no way, but He also allows us to get into difficult situations so He can show how powerfully sufficient His grace is in whatever trial, adversity or hardship we may face. (2 Cor. 12:9,10)
4. Confess your sins to God and to one another if you habitually struggle in seeing how all things (both the good and the bad) work together for good. Some of us need to pray and consciously look for ways that the Lord can utilize our weaknesses and confessions of our sins for His greater purposes. It is not what is on the outside of person that will defile them but what comes out of their hearts - hate, envy, jealousy, and evil desires. (James 4:1-4) When we are willing to confess our sins of commission, omission, wrong attitudes and faulty assumptions we will be cleansed in a way that the Spirit can work in new and unhindered ways.
5. Learn to forgive one another as God has forgiven you. Sure, you have been hurt and abused and been taken advantage of , but who hasn’t been? Jesus said, "If you do not forgive your brother, neither will I forgive you." (matt 6:15) Stop thinking of yourself as better than others and realize that the more loving people should be more forgiving.
6. When you do feel angry realize that it is telling you that something is wrong. Anger is a signal that we think we are in danger of losing something that matters to us. Maybe we need to be more like Joseph and surrender even the most important securities we have to the Lord’s care. Then we will be able to enjoy the peace that passes all human understanding. Joseph allowed God to carry out His broader plan through him regardless of the pain, anger and fear of uncertainty he must have felt by being sold into slavery in Egypt. He said to his brothers at the end of his 18 years in the captivity, "You meant it for evil, but God turned it for good for the saving of many lives." (Gen 50:20) The Lord is always able to turn tragedies into greater triumphs. Do not think that everything has to go your way in order to see God’s plans, processes and performances carried out in your life.
8. Let sadness be a pathway to greater joy in your life. Feelings of sadness signal hurts that need to be processed. Often sadness is a warning light that allows you to attend to some problem that needs fixing before the engine of your heart can operate at full capacity. Do not deny your feelings of sadness but give them to the Lord and He will sustain you. Otherwise you will be unable to love, laugh and feel the needs in the lives of other people and become insensitive. People who suppress their grief become depressed, prone to illness and resort to overeating or other substance abuses that indicate they are relying on an unhealthy crutch instead of praising God for His great love, joy and fulfillment. "David wrote, "You will make known to me the paths of life. In your presence is fullness of joy and in your right hand are pleasures for evermore." (Psa. 16:11)Sing of the mercies of the Lord forever.
9. Give all of your fears, feelings of uncertainty and doubts over to the Lord’s care. Those who try to deny fear keep themselves out of touch with the humble position we are in by having to depend on God for courage. Paul wrote, "God has not given us the Spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7) Only when we are willing to admit that fear drives us to greater dependence on the Lord are we able to see the advantages that feelings of fear create. God said to Isaish, "Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will help you. I will rescue you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isa 40;31) There are more commandments in the Bible to "Fear Not" than any other imperative given by God. The Lord wants us to pray throughout the day, "The Lord is my light and my deliverer, whom shall I fear. The Lord is the strength of my life. In this I will be confident." (Psa 27:1,2)
Do not be afraid of being vulnerable as that allows the Lord to deliver you and show Himself mighty on your behalf.
10. Rework your perceptions of what is ideal. Maybe you are setting your expectations too high. Pray the prayer of St. Francis of Assissi, ’Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Maybe you need to take advice from Paul where he wrote, "Do not think too highly of yourself, but think so as to have sound judgment as God has granted to each of us a measure of faith." (Rom. 12:3) Maybe you need to give up some of the ideals that come from your family, your education, or your culture instead of from God.
11. Be grateful for the good things that you have. The good things that you have are for many just a dream. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing and in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." (I Thes. 5:16-18) People who are grateful for what they have are seldom made happy when they get new things.
12. Reconfigure some of the misbeliefs and distorted perceptions you have about the ideals and realities of life. Even Jesus had to suffer many indignities in order to accomplish all of God’s will. The Lord Jesus said, "As the Father has sent me. So send I you." (John 20:21) Do not think that you are better than Jesus. Even He had to take up his cross daily and deny himself and His own desires to please the Lord in all respects. Job finally learned how to rework his own distorted misbeliefs at the end of his life when he wrote, "Lord (a full acknowledge of God’s control over all areas of His life), now I know that you can do all things and no purpose of yours can be thwarted." (Job 42:1,2) Only when we give up our rights to the Sovereign Lord are we going to enjoy peace, love and total spiritual blessings that we have in Christ.
12. Follow the example of the apostle Paul who wrote, "I am sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. Poor, yet making many rich. Having nothing and yet possessing all things." (2 Cor. 6:3-13) Let us learn how to live with the ironies of life knowing that His Spirit will give us everything we need according to the true knowledge of Jesus Christ and His promises. (2 Pet. 1:3-8) The greatest human Christian, the apostle Paul, experienced the height of fulfillment because he practiced what he wrote, "Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good." (Rom. 12:21)
13. Process and value some of the negative feelings you have knowing that will not kill you but can provide you with greater Christlikeness. Fear, anger and feelings of uncertainty in conflicts are a part of life. John wesley said, "I have never known more than 15 minutes of fear, anger or anxiety. Whenever I feel negative emotions overtaking me I just close my eyes and thank God that he is still on the throne reigning over everything and I take comfort in His control over all things. Praise God that He is able to deliver you from any problem, any predicament and any person who might be causing you trouble.
14. Expect badness and weakness in other people. Do not be surprised when somebody abuses you, criticizes you or takes advantage of you. Even John wrote of Jesus, "He trusted no man because he knew what was in man." Put on the full armor of God so you are prepared to stand in the evil day. Often times the reasons we get hurt is that we are unprepared with the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation the sword of the Spirt (having memorized scripture that we can quote to ward off these darts of accusation). Know that you do not have to see events as either bad or good, but that all things can work for good.
15. Learn to practice loving less than ideal circumstances. If things are not going the way you would like give it over to the Lord - He will sustain, direct and enable you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (Phil. 2:13,14) Resist the temptation to complain or argue or contest with God. The Lord often allows difficulties to come into our life so that we can become more holy, more mature and more knowledgable about how He works in ways that are beyond human understanding. All things do work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.
16. Resist the temptation to throw others away when they are less than perfect. This often happens in many families when we get tired of dealing with a family member who irritates us. Some people go from friend to friend or from one group to another because they have not learned how to deal with less than ideal people or situations. Stay connected with people regardless of the problems involved. Ask the Lord to help you see the good in people and love the sinner while hating the sin. Trust the Lord to help make any reality your friend rather than your enemy by using it to help you mature socially, culturally, emotionally and spiritually. Count it all joy when you encounter various trials knowing that the trial of your faith works patience. (James 1:2-5)Keep things in perspectives by singing and praying, "May the mind of Christ my Savior be in me from day to day. By His love and power controlling all I do and say."
17. Be willing to set boundaries with people who you are unable to live at peace with. Paul wrote, "As far as it is possible, be at peace with all men." (rom. 12:19) There are some people or jobs or situations that are beyond our ability to cope with. Acknowledge this and ask the Lord for a way of escape so that you can find a place and people where you fit. God will help you eventually find a place where you can maximize your contributions to Christ’s cause, His glory and His kingdom priorities. Ask the Lord to help you memorize and quote Proverbs 3;5,6 in every situation where you feel yourself getting fearful, angry or stressed out. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insights. In all your ways (Through praise, music, scripture memory, conversation, service, writing, teaching, witnessing, obeying, fellowshipping, etc) acknowledge Him (as Lord who controls everything) and He will direct your paths."
