It is reported that one in two marriages end in divorce. What begins at a wedding ceremony usually with a minister, parents and friends increasingly ends in a courtroom with a judge, lawyers and strangers. The average marriage now lasts seven years.
Fifty-five percent of all Americans say a divorce is acceptable if the marriage isn’t working out. As the number of divorced persons in our society increases, the probability increases that a person’s friends, parents, siblings or children will be divorced. The more divorced people an individual knows, the more ’normal’ divorce will seem to that individual. The less aberrant or deviant the person perceives divorce to be, the greater the probability that that person will divorce if his or her marriage becomes strained.
Forty percent of all marriages each year are remarriages. Eighty percent of all divorced persons eventually remarry... about three years after the previous relationship is terminated.
The saddest fact about divorce and remarriage is that Scripture plainly teaches that God does not approve of either one. Many who profess to be God’s people are ignorant of or ignoring the Lord’s instructions regarding divorce and remarriage.
Let us examine these issues in light of God’s revealed Will given to us in the Holy Scriptures.
Many believe that the Lord Jesus Christ condones divorce and remarriage. To support their conviction, they usually cite MATTHEW 19:9 which reads: "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. "
For us to fully understand Christ’s statement in MATTHEW 19:9, we must consider the full context in which we find it.
In VERSE THREE, we have the Pharisees coming to Jesus with the intent of ’testing’ Him. The Pharisees wanted to involve Jesus in a religious discussion in which Jesus might provide them with ammunition needed to repudiate Him as a false teacher or blasphemer. On this occasion, they question Him on the controversial subject of divorce and remarriage.
Note very carefully the question they pose to our Lord: "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" or, in other words, ’Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?’
First, the Pharisees ask Jesus to give His interpretation of what is "lawful". The "law" that governed God’s people, at this time, was the Law of Moses. So, the Pharisees are asking Jesus, ’Does the Law of Moses permit a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?’
It is crucial to understand that, at that juncture in time, there were two schools of thought concerning the topic of divorce - that of the rabbi Hillel and that of the rabbi Shammai. These two rabbis differed in their interpreting the meaning of "uncleanness" in DEUTERONOMY 24:1.
Hillel taught that the term "uncleanness" meant anything displeasing to the man; that is, it could be his wife’s displeasing appearance, displeasing cooking or house cleaning, displeasing temperament, or even snoring. Basically, Hillel took the position that the man could lawfully divorce his wife for any cause he wanted to.
Shammai, on the other hand, stated that "uncleanness" in DEUTERONOMY 24:1 referred specifically to the wife’s having had premarital sex with another man. He stated that DEUTERONOMY 24:1 referred to the same situation presented in DEUTERONOMY 22:13-14. Thus, the Mosaic Law permitted divorce and remarriage only in the case where the husband learns, on wedding night, that his wife is not a virgin.
Returning to MATTHEW 19, we now understand the Pharisees’ question much better. They were wanting Jesus to take sides on this controversial subject. Will He side with Hillel or Shammai?
Instead of answering their question directly, Jesus explains to the Pharisees that God’s original design for marriage never included divorce... let alone remarriage. In MATTHEW 19:4-6, Jesus states that divorce was never part of God’s will for men and women who enter into a marriage covenant and become "one flesh".
Indeed, in MALACHI 2:16, God says He hates divorce. And, so, in conformity with God’s original will, Jesus commands: "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." THAT IS GOD’S WILL FOR THOSE WHO MARRY.
In MATTHEW 19:7, the Pharisees then ask: ’why did Moses [in DEUTERONOMY 24] deliver a commandment that establishes divorce?’
In VERSE 8, Jesus rebukes them by stating that the only reason why God made a provision for divorce at all was the "hardness" (perversity and carnality) of their hearts... NOT because God thinks it to be good or virtuous.
In VERSE 9, Jesus answers their original question regarding what is the lawful "cause" or "reason" given by Moses that permits a Jewish man to divorce his wife. Jesus states that it is not lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any other reason than "fornication". Here. Jesus states that the correct interpretation of "uncleanness" in DEUTERONOMY 24:1 is premarital sex.
Indeed, the Hebrew word in DEUTERONOMY 24:1 translated "uncleanness" is ERVAH. The literal meaning of this Hebrew word is pudenda or genital. The term is used 53 times in the Old Testament and it always refers to literal or figurative illicit sex.
DEUTERONOMY 24:1 speaks of a man finding-out that his wife is not a virgin. Again, this situation is also spoken of in DEUTERONOMY 22:13-14.
I would have you to note that DEUTERONOMY 22 allows a man to have his new wife publicly stoned to death if he can prove his wife was not a virgin at marriage. DEUTERONOMY 24 allows the husband, in the same situation, to take a less extreme course of action - divorcement.
When Joseph was engaged to be married to Mary, he noted that she became pregnant. He, naturally, believed that Mary was guilty of ervah or fornication. He had some alternatives as to how to handle the situation. According to DEUTERONOMY 22, he could have taken her to the city elders and have her publicly disgraced by having her stoned to death.
According to DEUTERONOMY 24, he could also take the alternative of giving her a divorce certificate.
MATTHEW 1:18-19 states that he did not want to follow the DEUTERONOMY 22 alternative and have her publicly disgraced by stoning. No, instead, he was going to take the DEUTERONOMY 24 alternative which was a quiet divorcement.
It is perfectly clear that the Mosaic Law only allowed a man to divorce his wife for one cause - finding his wife to not be a virgin. To divorce his wife for any other reason and then to remarry is committing adultery. That is what Jesus teaches in MATTHEW 19:9.
The next big question is this: DOES THE LAW OF MOSES, WITH ITS REGULATIONS ON DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE, APPLY TO US TODAY?
The answer is: NO !!
The Law of Moses was granted to the Jewish Nation as part of the covenant God made with the Nation at Horeb (DEUTERONOMY 4:1-8; 5:1-2). Jesus has ushered in a new covenant (HEBREWS 7:12, 18-22; 8:6-7; 9:15). The old Mosaic covenant with its laws have been nailed to the cross (COLOSSIANS 2:14; GALATIANS 3:13-14, 23-26).
So, we now ask, ’WHAT IS THE LAW CONCERNING DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE UNDER THE NEW COVENANT OF JESUS CHRIST? WHAT SHOULD THE CHURCH BE TEACHING AND UP-HOLDING?’
In MATTHEW 28:18-20, Jesus told His apostles to make disciples of all the nations, teaching them to obey those commandments He had commanded them.
What did Jesus teach His apostles about divorce and remarriage?
In MARK 10:9-12, Jesus teaches that the New Covenant re-establishes God’s original intent regarding marriage. That is, marriage is for life and "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
In MARK 10:10-12, in private, Jesus lays down the regulations of the New Covenant: "Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." See LUKE 16:18, too.
Please note that JESUS INSTRUCTS HIS APOSTLES THAT MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME CONTRACT. THERE ARE NO JUST CAUSES FOR DIVORCE AND TO REMARRY IS ADULTERY.
Is this truly what the Apostles understood the Lord to teach? Was this what the Apostles taught in the Church? Yes.
In 1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-11, the Apostle Paul teaches that a married couple should not separate or leave each other. But, if they do, they are not to marry another person but, rather, remain unmarried or be reconciled to their original spouse: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
In ROMANS 7:2-3, Paul gives us further insight and instruction on this matter. Paul explains that the marriage covenant or law that binds two into "one flesh" is in effect until one or both spouses die. Until your spouse dies, you are married to them... even if you are separated. If your mate is still alive, to marry another would be committing adultery. If your marriage partner dies, however, the marriage covenant or law is dissolved and you are free to marry another: "For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. "
This may be viewed as extremism on the matter of divorce and remarriage but we must remember that God’s original design for marriage did not include divorce. Jesus has re-established God’s original design during this period of the New Covenant or Testament.
It is so crucial for us to take the wedding vow seriously. It is so important to teach our young people God’s standards.
