“All Right…Who Did It?”
1 Cor. 7:2-5
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. [3] The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4] The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. [5] Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Illust:
· I remember mom getting all of us four boys together and asking that most famous question, “Who did it?”
· When the question was asked “Who took a hammer and hit moms good living room table leaving a big dent in the wood”….I had to confess it was me.
· Mom still brings it up once in a while when I’m home…and shows me the dent.
Whenever a marriage falls apart the usual question is the same…”Who’s fault was it?”
I have always found out that it usually takes two people to see a marriage spiral downward…but there always seems to be one who plays a major part.
There are such problems in a marriage such as:
A. INCOMPATABLILITY:
· It is true that you don’t put a donkey with an ox to plow.
· It is also true that you don’t put two people together who fight against each other…both having no similarities.
· But I have also seen where the differences in a marriage was for the good….one persons strength helps the weaker one.
B. FRIGINESS/COLDNESS:
· There are those marriages that has a spouse that seems to have no feelings or relationship skills.
· There are needs that need to be met in a marriage for both the woman and the man…if these needs are not fulfilled…may lead to unfaithfulness…and many times to!
C. SELF-CENTEREDNESS:
· One refusing to yield their rights…always winning.
· It is best for us to realize that when we get married…we give up our rights for the other.
· The scripture we read…shares this.
1. THERE COMES A TIME WHEN WE ASK THE QUESTION…”WHO DID IT”?
I guess the proper way to answer this question is to ask….”Who can fix it?”
Illust:
· Most of the talk shows are spent talking about who had the affair, who was cheating on who…or how many people they have been sleeping with.
· Much of our news consists of broken marriages and broken homes.
· Yet the world still cries out….”How can my marriage be fixed.”?
· Everyone dreams of a happy home…If this were not true then there would not be so many re-marriages!
2. I BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE!
· It is the unselfish union of two people who care more about each other than themselves.
Illust:
A cynic defined marriage as, “A community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves…making in all, two.”
Illust:
Miguel de Cervantes in his 17th Century novel said, “Marriage is a noose.”
Illust:
Robert Louis Stevens said, “Marriage is like life…it is a field of battle not a bed of roses.”
Illust:
· A Pastor who was in the ministry for many years was asked the question, “When was there a time when the occasions left you speechless?”
· He said it was one of his first funerals and he went to the casket to talk to the husband of this lady who hardly ever had attended church.
· He was told that they had been married for 57 years.
· He didn’t know what to say so he said to the man, “57 years is a long time.”
· The man said without hesitation, “Too long, she was meaner than blazes.”
Illust:
· Poet Francis Quarles wrote in 1635, “Let all thy joys be as the month of May and all thy days be as a marriage day.”
· Alfred Tennyson said, “Marriages are made in heaven.”
· Andrew Jackson said…”Heaven will be no heaven for me if I do not meet my wife there.”
· Martin Luther declared…”There is no more lovely, friendly and charming a relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.”
3. THE FOUNDATION UPON WHICH A HAPPY HOME IS BUILT IS TRUST AND AFFECTION
· A beautiful, modern home does not necessarily mean happiness
· A handsome husband or a beautiful wife does not assure happiness
· Plenty of money or lack of money does not assure peace of mind
Only where there is love and confidence….where there is respect and honor…there the real home is found!
Illust:
On a talk show the question was asked, “What makes a great lover?”
Well you can imagine what they might say.
But the answer was:
“A great lover is someone who can satisfy one women all her life long…and who can be satisfied by one women all his life long. A great lover is not someone who goes from woman to woman. Any dog can do that.”
4. A LIFETIME PARTNER IS GOD’S DESIGN AND YOUR NEED…MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE INSTITUTION
· It was founded upon God’s design.
· When Adam looked at Eve he said, “She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.”
· God didn’t say, “Try that critter for a while and if you don’t like her…I’ll try to redesign her for you”
· God didn’t say, “This is the best I can do for you.”
Illust:
One poet expressed himself:
I think that I shall never see
A girl that’s lovelier than thee
A girl whose touch is soft and warm;
A girl whose figure is right in form
But one thing must be clear, by heck.
She had better not spend this entire check.
5. MARRIAGE IS AT IT’S BEST WHEN IT LEAVES FOND MEMORIES
Illust:
· A man and his wife talked about their financial needs and the husband was forced to ask the boss for a raise the next day.
· The boss decided he was worth it and gave him the raise. The man could not wait to get home to tell his wife the good news.
· When he walked in the house he blurted out to his wife…”Honey Guess what I got the raise.”…..then he noticed that his wife had made a wonderful meal and even candles lit at the table.
· He wondered who tipped her off to his new raise. His wife placed a note on the table that said, “Honey, I knew you would get the raise…all the little things I have done tonight for you is to say how much I love you.”
· As his wife walked away from the table she dropped a note from her pocket. He picked up the note as she left and read it…it said, “Honey, I’m sorry you didn’t get the raise…all the little things I have done tonight for you is to say how much I love you.”
· His wife left a memory of unconditional love…not based on what he did or did not do!
· Fond memories does not necessarily mean of the good times….it’s the hard times that we remember also…the times we both made it through together.
· Some of you who have lost your spouse…hopefully you have many wonderful memories!
· For some…all they may have of marriage is abuse or an un-loving spouse!
6. MARIAGE IS NOT JUST FOR MAKING BABIES
· This may come of a surprise for many here today!
· But do you realize that some cannot have children…does this mean they should not be married?
· Babies can be a result of marriage…but does not have to be.
· Marriage is two people who love each other and desire to spend the rest of their lives together.
· Doctors say that those who are married have a longer life then those who are not marriage.
· If your not married today….let me warn you that if you chose the wrong spouse…your life might be shorter.
7. DANGER SIGNALS OF A SHAKY MARRIAGE:
a. A couple that uses a public situation to cut each other down.
b. A husband who uses his wife as the butt of his jokes.
c. Couples who say they have no problems and have never had a fight
d. A husband who calls his wife ugly names
e. A husband who makes excuses for being away from home
f. When a spouse shows very little attention to their spouse
g. A husband who helps little around the house
h. Constant bickering and nagging
i. When the husband and wife both work…and he goes his way and she goes her way.
j. Couples who cannot have disagreements…rather fights
k. When the couple has non or little physical contact
l. When the in-laws try to run a couples life
m. When the children are not well-behaved or well-mannered
n. When a couple spends all their time in every activity in and out of the church without every spending much time with each other.
EVANGELISM:
1. How does your marriage rate today?
2. Would you like to make your marriage better?
3. First, Ask Christ into your life!
4. Then make a commitment to each other for a lifetime…
5. Some marriages here today may be shaky to say the least!
6. Not only do you need to make a commitment to God…but to each other!
