How to Start Your Life Over
John 3:1-16
Introduction: Have you ever played the game ‘If I had my life to live over again’? The older and more experienced you get, the more you probably play this game – the more you say to yourself “gee, if only I had a second chance!” And as life goes on it gets worse. And you begin to fret about the things you’ve not had a chance to do, and you think about it. Martin Luther King’s reflected on this theme just before his death. He wrote: ‘Shattered dreams are the hallmarks of our mortal lives.’
One of the most agonizing problems of our human experience is that few, if any, of us live to see our fondest hopes fulfilled – the hopes of our childhood and the promises of our mature years are unfinished symphonies. And so you start to say to yourself, “Well, if I had my life over again …”
If I had my life to life over again I’d love to make 10 million per year playing basketball with Larry Bird and the Boston Celtics. Of course starting my life over and playing pro basketball would also require different genetics - I would need to be 7’1” instead of 6’1” and I would need to get rid of my “white Man’s disease” – I can’t jump! This is just a fantasy but it helps me explore my more realistic desires and receiving new genetics is just what we’re going to talk about today.
When it comes to having a relationship with the God who made us, unless you start again you’ll never make it. Did you notice that in the Bible reading from John’s Gospel that Jesus is so uncompromising, so abrupt, so clear on this point, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again,” (v3); “I tell you the truth, no-one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.” (v5). Now the word ‘unless’ is categorical, isn’t it? Unless there is rain there are no crops. Unless you’re born again there’s no Christianity. You have to start again. Verse 7: “You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ ” So Jesus is quite categorical here, a person cannot become a Christian unless he or she is born again. They cannot enter the Christian life unless they’re born again. It is fundamental to the Christian experience.
In today’s scripture we’re going to discover three steps you can take to start your life over. The first step is…
I. Start your life over by having your own private talk with Jesus Nicodemus was a man of distinction and outstanding character. He was intelligent, honest and upright. John in his gospel tells us: “Now there was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; this man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, "Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him" (3:1-2).
No doubt, Nicodemus, who was a member the Sanhedrin, had heard about Jesus. Perhaps he came at night so he could have a private meeting with Jesus and ask all the questions he wanted to ask. He was a religious man. We know that he took his religion seriously because he was a member of the Pharisees sect. They were strict, narrow, traditionalists. He was “a ruler of the Jews." He was one who is first or preeminent among his associates. He stood in a high position among the ruling class in Jerusalem. This would indicate that he was a member of the Sanhedrin. Nicodemus was a man of discernment is seen in his estimation of Jesus. “We know that You have come from God as a teacher."
Most importantly, in this episode, we see that Nicodemus was a seeker - a person who was sincere in his quest for the kingdom of God but, nevertheless, a spiritual failure in spite of all his religious knowledge and enthusiasm. Here was a sincere man with a sincere hunger for truth who came to have a private talk with Jesus in the quietness of the night away from those who would distract. He came to Jesus at night so that he could have a private conversation concerning his own very personal needs.
Jesus had something he did not have. Nicodemus, like each of us, was seeking for that something more in life – looking, longing for spiritual bliss and truth to fill the hole that’s felt in the heart. Nicodemus was a man whose whole life was a religious exercise yet he realized that Jesus had something he did not have.
One of the messages of John 3 is just that! You may have all sorts of Christian activity like Wesley: grew up right and go to the right university much like Nicodemus, having all the trappings of faith. You may even have had missionary service, even taught Sunday School. Or perhaps even served in ruling councils such as church boards, like Nicodemus. You may have founded your own ‘holy club”; done excellent work in church organizations; perhaps even figured out a method of spirituality like Wesley and Nicodemus; got a routine even of Bible reading and praying but that is not enough to give you true eternal life that is born from above and felt deeply in the heart.
The first step this scripture teaches us is that to start your life over you need to leave your own empty religious efforts behind and have our own private talk with Jesus. The second step is…
II. Start your life over by understanding your need The phrase ‘born again’ was not invented by former president Jimmy Carter. It wasn’t coined by Ronald Reagan to get the votes of the Southern Baptists. And it doesn’t refer to a narrow, emotional, cultic, fringe type of Christianity. I loved my mother very much, but so often she used to say, “I’m a Christian, but I’m not one of those born-again types.” And I had to say to her, as I have to say to you, that there is actually a necessity of new birth, an absolute necessity.
This isn’t loony fringe. It’s dynamite. And it’s about a Creator God who breaks into our lives, miraculously. It’s not something bizarre for dogmatic, crazy people. It’s not an option - it’s a necessity. And there could have been nobody who was more shocked to hear that you had to be born again than the man whom we see in chapter 3, verse 1. No one would have been more shocked than this man in our passage: ‘Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council.’ So this man had supposedly all the right credentials to be accepted by God. If anyone would be accepted, he would be: he has so much to commend him. Surely he doesn’t have to start over, not him! He’s a disciplined man: he’s a Pharisee. He’s on the Jewish ruling council. He was a learned man: “You’re Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus (v. 10). This man was a senior teacher in Israel. He’s even quite an open man, and he comes to ask Jesus a question. So he’s disciplined, able, learned, open. He’d have been honest in business, a law and order man. He’d have been a faithful husband, a church leader, diligent in his Bible reading, and absolutely fanatical about morality (as the Pharisees were). So no one was more moral, legalistic, and upright than this man. He’s the model of middle class respectability. And so he would have been deeply shaken when Jesus says to him, “You need to be born again.” It would have been a terrible shock when Jesus steps back and draws a separating line between this man and real relationship with God, and says, “Unless you are born again you cannot know God.”
Nicodemus is shaken when Jesus says, “You need to be born again.” And so he replies: “How can a man be born when he is old? Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb to be born!” (v. 4). So Jesus says, “I’m not talking about physical things, I’m talking about spiritual things. You need to be born physically, “Flesh gives birth to flesh …” “Yes, you do need to be born physically, but you also need to be born spiritually: “… but the Spirit gives birth to spirit” (v. 6). And Nicodemus, all your religious credentials: disciplined, religious, able, learned, moral – they’re not good enough.” None of them are good enough. And we therefore have to conclude that if a thoroughly good man like this needs to be born again then you can be absolutely sure that you need to be born again, and I need to be born again and so does the whole of humanity.
Now why is this so? Well, the Bible says that at one stage or another we have all said, “No!” to God as God. That is why we need to be born again, because we’ve all said that to Him. We don’t want Him to be God over us, we’ve all done a Frank Sinatra: “I’ve lived a life that’s full, I’ve travelled each and every highway; but more, much more than this, I did it my way.” I’ve put myself at the center. I was absolutely central to all that I did, that’s what’s going on here. We’ve all said, “No!” to God as God. We’ve all said, “Look God, I’ll take friends and family and fun and falling in love and food and fitness and all those things. But actually I will run my life my way. And my life will be about my goals, my agenda, my desires. I will be the main character, and God, you can be a footnote. You may give me each breath, but you can be a footnote, because I’m going to be god and I’m going to be central.”
Now we’ve all done that. That is the problem. I’ve done that, you’ve done that; even Nicodemus, for all his credentials, had done that. And when we treat God like that, when we use Him and ignore Him. Although to us it may seem a small thing, we actually die in the spirit world because of it. And so we need to be born again, because it kills us when we behave like that. It’s an absolute necessity therefore to be born again. So what then is new birth? What does it mean to be born again?
Well, let me tell you, the first thing is this: it doesn’t mean turning over a new leaf. It doesn’t mean “I’m going back on the diet; I’m going to give up the smoking or turn over the new leaf for the umpteenth time. I’m not talking about another set of resolutions, it’s not about saying, “Well, I must get more moral.” You couldn’t have got more moral than Nicodemus. No, this new birth is a radical change that God does. It’s not something that I do. It’s what God does through the power of the Spirit. You can see it in verse 8: “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it’s going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” So it’s not something I do, it’s something God does – and it is miraculous.
This is a miraculous intervention from God. God brings us back to life as new people in the spirit. He radically changes us and our thinking. So this is a supernatural act of God in which He takes the Holy Spirit and implants the Spirit in our hearts. In other words, God gives us a heart transplant. That is what is being spoken of here. And He gives us a changed mind, will and emotion; and our whole personality wants to go in a different direction. So we start to like the way that He thinks. And consequently we start to try to act in His way.
I once had a conversation with a very close friend of mine about his Christian walk. He said to me, “Al, to tell you the truth, I’m never going to keep it up - being a Christian.” I said, “Well, given your track record, I’d agree: you won’t. What do you think will need to happen,” I said, to keep going as a Christian?” He responded, “It’s going to take a miracle for me to keep going as a Christian!” “Exactly” I said. We all need a miracle in which God causes a radical change to take place in our hearts. And you cannot do it yourself.
So, how do you start your life over? First, leave your own empty religious efforts behind and have our own private talk with Jesus. Secondly, realize that you need a miraculous transformation of your heart and the third step to starting your life over is …
III. Start your life over by responding to Jesus’ invitation. Jesus answered and said to him, ""Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.’’ (verse 3) Jesus answered, ""Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. (verse 5) Twice Jesus answered. Twice the condition given by Jesus was the new birth. Twice the ultimate fulfillment of these conditions was entrance into the kingdom of God. But what was the question? The very obvious question on the mind of Nicodemus was: “How do I get into the kingdom of God?” Jesus answered and with the answer gave the invitation: “Come on in!
John, reflecting on the meaning of the Jesus/Nicodemus conversation, states God’s most dramatic invitation to us in verse 16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” So what did God do? The first thing we see, He loved the world (that’s us). What did He do? He gave His one and only Son, the Lord Jesus. So God allowed Jesus to die on the cross to take the punishment we deserve. Perhaps you’ve seen pictures of Jesus hanging on the cross: Jesus in the middle between two thieves; the soldiers are all around, Mary, His mother, is nearby – and He cries out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:45). Now if Jesus is the Son of God, why is He forsaken? The Bible says Jesus was forsaken so that we need never be. He died and took the sin I deserve for saying, “I will do it my way. I’ll run my life my way. I know you’ve given me life, God, but I’ll take the gifts and I’ll ignore you, the Giver.” That is a problem before God, and Jesus died so that we can be forgiven for that.
And as you see Him dying there, you see Him dying for all the times that you’ve sinned against Him, so that you can be right with God. Jesus died for you as a provision for and as an invitation to be born again into His Kingdom.
Conclusion: So how do you start your life over? Like Nicodemus go to Jesus privately and confess that you’ve done it your way long enough. Like Nicodemus you will find that Jesus will know what you need even before you ask. Go to Jesus and ask him how you can know and experience God’s presence in your life. You will find that with your request will come Jesus’ invitation to enter into God’s kingdom, God presence. God’s Holy Spirit will then do a transforming work in your heart and in your life you will, indeed, get a second change, you will get to start your life over.
