What Parents Owe Their Children:
An Attitude of Gratitude
Sunday, November 25, 2001
For many this week, Thanksgiving was a very different holiday.
Usually, on Thanksgiving, we stress about the Turkey coming out too dry. We vacillate over which pies to make… and how many pieces to eat. We struggle with arranging our schedule to make room for travel and for visiting guests. We anguish over the Cowboys kicking a one-point conversion instead of going for two…
But this year there was a different flavor, a different taste to the Thanksgiving holiday. And for evidence, I point you to that great revealer of American sentiment, that source of wisdom and wit… The funny pages.
Notice the theme of the Thanksgiving comic strips this year:
[Comic strips]
- Snuffy Smith – “What cause your fainty spell, parson” “I took up a collection at church to benefit victims of teorrism an’ everybody contributed – even Snuffy Smith.”
- Born Loser - Policeman helping up the born loser – “Guess I have a lot to be thankful for after all.”
- Hi and Lois - Heroes wear many hats
- Baby Blues - Mom says, “This place is incredible! Everywhere I look there are toys, clothes, food, books and kids.” Dad hears here and asks, “Are you feeling frustrated?” “No, thankful.”
- Family Circus – After PJ’s block tower has crumbled, his sister encourages him, “Don’t worry P.J. we’ll rebuild! It’s the ‘Merican way!”
- Dennis the Menace prays, “We give thanks for family, friends, heroes and freedom.”
- From B.C. – “Greater Love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” “I will never leave you for forsake you.” – Jesus
[Each of these strips was part of a collaborative effort to raise money for relief – check out www.networkforgood.org]
In these times, what parents owe their children is an attitude of gratitude. To raise our children, to model the Christian life for the kids around us, without thankfulness as a central practice is to impoverish the Christian faith and to sour the Christian soul. Children need to seen in us an attitude of gratitude.
Why is gratitude so important? Gratitude is a curative element of the Christian life. To live with gratitude inoculates our hearts against some of the most gangrenous diseases present in our culture. Through the practice of gratitude, God gives us an antidote to some very toxic contagions spreading throughout humanity. Allow me to demonstrate.
Gratitude is an Antidote for Grumbling
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7 (NIV)
Written on the entrance to a Sunday School classroom: Do not grumble because you do not get what you want; be thankful you do not get what you deserve!
In Budapest, a man goes to the rabbi and complains, "Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?"
The rabbi answers, "Take your goat into the room with you." The man in incredulous, but the rabbi insists. "Do as I say and come back in a week."
A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before. "We cannot stand it," he tells the rabbi. "The goat is filthy."
The rabbi then tells him, "Go home and let the goat out. And come back in a week."
A radiant man returns to the rabbi a week later, exclaiming, "Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there’s no goat -- only the nine of us."
There is much in life to be thankful for, isn’t there?
Consider all the ways in which the Bible speaks out against complaining and grumbling. Gratitude vaccinates us against such unhealthy human tendencies.
Gratitude is an Antidote for Greed
In North America we live in this overpower consumeristic culture. No doubt, the approaching Christmas holiday can bring out the worst of this in all our lives. We live frantically thinking we’d be happier if we just had a little more money, a little more of this, a little more of that…
The Bible warns us against loving money, quite clearly and quite frequently. We know chasing after money and possessions is just chasing after the wind. If we are going to help our children recognize and value the peace and joy and hope of relationship with Jesus, we have to teach them to store up a different kind of treasure.
“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6: 20-21 (NIV)
Gratitude is an antidote for the empty promises of greed.
Gratitude is an Antidote for Conceit
In our effort to shoulder the responsibilities of life, the challenges of career and the needs of our families, we can easily start to think our selves as an army of one – a self-made-man or a self-made-woman… faster than a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings in a single bound…
Gratitude reminds of the one who is our strength and our shield.
“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.” Psalm 107: 19-22 (NIV)
Gratitude is an Antidote for Contempt
It has become far too easy for us as human beings to treat other people as object or as tools or as resources or as anything else not demanding our respect. Yet clearly Jesus Christ teaches us to love each other, to value one another as unique and special creations of God.
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3: 15-16 (NIV)
How can I look down on someone else, treat them with bitter scorn or disrespect if I am thankful for them. The waitress who brings my food, the salesperson at the mall, the neighbor who never mows his lawn, the brother-in-law who is rude at every family function, the mean-spirited boss… Gratitude prevents me from treating them in an un-Christlike manner.
How are member of the family of Christ to relate to one another and to the world? In gratitude. We’ll get back to this thought in a minute.
Note for now, gratitude cures a great deal of diseases that plague people like us. I like talking about gratitude as a vaccine because it is something we have to go get. And when you go get a vaccine, it has to enter your bloodstream and work its magic all through the insides of your body.
In a similar manner, thanksgiving is something that has to work its way through the inner parts of our soul. We can give lip service to gratitude once a year on the fourth Thursday of the month. But if gratitude is going to do its work, we have to let it penetrate our hearts, our minds, our bodies and our souls. And when it does, it produces a miraculous effect in our lives.
Allow me to make a few observations about an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude is a Course of Action
Gratitude shows itself in how I pray
“First, I tell you to pray for all people, asking God for what they need and being thankful to him. Pray for rulers and for all who have authority so that we can have quiet and peaceful lives full of worship and respect for God. This is good, and it pleases God our Savior” 1 Timothy 2: 1-3 (NCV)
Scottish minister Alexander Whyte was known for his uplifting prayers in the pulpit. He always found something for which to be grateful. One Sunday morning the weather was so gloomy that one church member thought to himself, "Certainly the preacher won’t think of anything for which to thank the Lord on a wretched day like this." Much to his surprise, however, Whyte began by praying, "We thank Thee, O God, that it is not always like this."
Gratitude shows itself in how I worship.
“Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100: 1-5 (NIV)
Worship that recognizes God’s presence and God’s power must be worship filled with gratitude. When worship is a duty, the words I say and sing might mention thankfulness but gratitude is rarely on my lips. Instead, in relationship with God I am overcome His awesome presence, His unending love, His indescribable power and by the unbelievable notion that He has initiated and sought out a relationships with me. All I can do is say thank you.
Gratitude shows itself in how I live.
“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2: 6-7 (NIV)
“Dear your honor,” wrote an eight-year old boy to Judge Archie Gringold of St. Paul, Minnesota. "I thank you so much for letting my mom and dad adopt me. I’ll be nine soon, and I’m in the Cub Scouts ... "Here’s a picture of me. I’m also giving you four cents, because you deserve it." Judge Gringold put the four pennies into a children’s fund. "It makes it all worthwhile," he told the Chicago Daily News.
How real is gratitude that is never expressed? Gratitude not expressed is gratitude that doesn’t exist – whether it’s to people or to the Lord.
Gratitude is a Conviction about People
“How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?” 1 Thessalonians 3:9 (NIV)
“Every time I think of you—and I think of you often!—I thank God for your lives of free and open access to God, given by Jesus” 1 Corinthians 1:4 (The Message)
“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1: 3-6 (NIV)
When my daughter and I pray each evening, I ask her, “Who do you want to thank God for?” Yes, I know the grammar there leaves much to be desired. But I love how her heart prays for people already. She always has someone to thank God for. The same should be true of each of us.
When gratitude gets into our soul it changes the way we view people; we learn to see each other as unique and priceless creations of God. We no longer can tolerate viewing people from a utilitarian or judgmental point of view. Instead, we become thankful for who people are, what we learn about God from them, how God works in our lives through them… Gratitude gets into our soul and changes our convictions about people.
Gratitude is a Condition of the Heart
Gratitude isn’t some good communication tool you can add to your people skills. We’re talking about a change of heart; a characteristic of life in Christ that has to be cultivated over a lifetime.
“Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.” Colossians 4:1 (NLT)
“Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 6: 16-18 (GN)
An estimated 1.5 million people are living today after bouts with breast cancer. Every time I forget to feel grateful to be among them, I hear the voice of an eight-year-old named Christina, who had cancer of the nervous system. When asked what she wanted for her birthday, she thought long and hard and finally said, "I don’t know. I have two sticker books and a Cabbage Patch doll. I have everything!" The kid is right. Erma Bombeck, Redbook, October,1992.
Mark it down as an inflexible rule of human self-disclosure: The person with an ungrateful heart is the one who believes that everything God does for him is too little and anything he does for God is too much.
