Honor your Father and Mother
Exodus 20:12 IHCC 11/11/01
EX 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
I have heard many people comment about the declining situations of our families and of young people today. Some of them just complain about kids and their actions and how bad they are, some of them actually voice a concern out of love, and still others are just so overwhelmed with how awful our world has gotten and it seems to stem from our children. If only we could restore some respect. I thought I would share something with you that I read as I was studying for this sermon. It reads like this:
Honor, here is a word that calls for an attitude of respect, reverence, and obedience on the part of children toward their parents. How shockingly old-fashioned it sounds to our modern ears!
Some of you are shaking your heads with approval, smiling from ear to ear saying to yourself it’s about time somebody said something like that. But for those of you who are shaking your heads this statement was not yesterday. It was written in 1938 by the great preacher Clovis Chappel. Some of you who are shaking your heads in agreement were teenagers when this written, and apparently Mr. Chappel was writing about your behavior. Having honor among the family is something that we have long dealt with. Starting with Cain and Abel, when Cain killed Abel out of jealously. Can you imagine the dishonor Adam and Eve felt when one of the two sons they had raised became a murderer? Being a parent is not easy! Having children that honor you or obey you means you have to raise some pretty fantastic kids! In order for this to happen I find that both parent and child have a responsibility to one another, and to God and it is wrapped up in this 5th commandment.
Honor your Father and Mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
So today let’s take an indepth look at what we can do to restore honor and create children who will honor.
Many people think it is the responsibility of the children to follow this command, but if you think about it the only way a child will honor is if they are taught to live honorably.
Looking at this commandment we need to be aware of several different things.
1. What will honor God the Heavenly Father?
We need to realize that the family is a design from God. We can fool around with it and create alternate lifestyles as much as we want, but when we do we only pollute the fundamental idea of a family. It started with Adam and Eve, and progressed into Noah, Abraham, and then the nation of Israel. God was working with, and still working today with the growing, and extending family. Therefore we should do our very best to create the biblical foundation of a family. Where Dad and Mom love, honor, and respect each other and if children come along they should care for those children and instruct them to live in accordance with God’s will ….The family is God’s design let’s continue building it up as God intended.
We also need to understand that God did not create the family to be our number one priority. Jesus said in
MATTHEW 10:37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
Jesus is saying don’t make the family the number one consideration. He says I am the number one consideration; I am the Lord, not your kids. I am the Lord not your family. I am the Lord, not your marriage. I will never surrender my Lordship to any of these things. (Briscoe, Playing by the Rules) It’s when we flip the roles and put God in the back seat that we start to run into problems. Remember the family was His idea and we need to honor him with it not replace him with it.
2. Why should we follow this commandment?
1) We should follow it because God said too, and that should be good enough. It is a command from God to us that we are to obey, respect, and honor our parents and that responsibility does not end when you leave the house to go to college or get out on your own. Even today I am to respect and honor my father and mother.
Paul reinforces that statement by saying in
Colossians 3:20
COL 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
It pleases God that I should Honor my father.
Ephesians 6:1
EPH 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
It will give you a much happier life if you are living in accordance with your parents and their wishes. There will be less conflict and more harmony
2) If you listen to the command the outcome of honoring your father and mother is not as much for the parents as it is for the children. We will live long in the land that God has given us if we obey this command. Verse 3 of Ephesians says that our life will go well and you will live long.
3) Is illustrated to us by the way of Grimms Fairy tale.
The story tells about some parents who had two children and one grandfather living with them under the same roof. The Grandfather was getting a little old and sloppy. At mealtimes he tended to get his soup and porridge in places they shouldn’t have gone. The Grandfather got worse and worse and the parents were concerned with the example he was setting for the children. They finally didn’t allow the old boy to sit at the table with the family anymore; he had to sit in the corner of the room. Being isolated didn’t help him either in fact it just allowed the situation to deteriorate until the old man couldn’t eat with utensils at all. Still concerned with the example he might be setting for their children they decided to put his food in a trough and took away his knife, fork, and spoon; so he was made to pick up his food with his fingers and stuff it into his mouth.
One day the parents noticed the children playing in the shed. They had some wood, a saw and a hammer and some nails. The parents asked them what they were building. The children responded “We’re building a trough for you when you get older.”
Moral of the story is honor your father and mother because one day you’ll want your children to do the same to you.
3. How do we follow this command?
I. If you want to be parents who are honored then love your children with a Godly Love
Even God encouraged His son with words of comfort and pride.
LUKE 3:21 When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."
1JOHN 3:1 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
Parents encourage your children as God has encouraged us with praise and affection. They need hugs and kisses and words that affirm their proper behavior and attitude. Make sure you spend time with your children! Not just quality time, but quantity time!
II. If you want to be parents who are honored then discipline your children with Godly discipline
The blanking Cornflakes – A mother was having a hard time with one of her boys. He was disrespectful and had a filthy mouth. She asked her minister what she should do about it and he told her the next time he disrespects you are uses filthy language smack him. So the next morning the two little boys come down the steps and the mother ask the older of the two boys the one she was having the trouble with what he wanted for breakfast. He said I want the blankty blank cornflakes. She said what did you say?! I want the blankty blank cornflakes. The mother took the box and hit the little boy upside the head and knocked him clean out of his seat. She turned to her other son and said what would you like for breakfast and he said “I don’t know, but it sure ain’t cornflakes!”
Discipline is a teaching tool for behavior and is necessary in a family setting. I am full aware of the differences in discipline styles and I know that there are all kinds of controversies about how to discipline children. I also know one thing to be true no matter how you discipline and it is this…discipline is good for everyone! Everybody needs to learn to obey. And God has instructed parents about discipline in Proverbs.
PR 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
PR 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
PR 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom,
but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
If you do not discipline your children you can pretty much count it as a fact that they will grow to be adults with no boundaries in their life.
If you do not teach your children to respect you and others, then they will respect no one and especially you when they are older.
If you never tell your children no then they will grow up to believe they should have everything in life, and when they don’t get it, they will whine and cry until they do.
If you think catering to your child’s every whim will create a happy child, you are wrong, what you will create is a spoiled adult who will never be satisfied or content with anything in life, because they think they deserve the very best all the time.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not an advocate for beating your child, or crushing their spirit, or ruling over them with an iron fist, in fact Ephesians 6: 4 says
EPH 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
In other words don’t drive your kids nuts, and realize that they are kids and they will act like kids. But be consistent and fair. You know your children will never like being punished.
A little girl’s Prayer: A little girl was being punished by eating alone in the corner of the dining room. The family paid no attention to her until they heard her pray a portion of the 23 Psalm: “Thank you Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.”
Children don’t usually like the reasoning behind the punishment.
But as parents we are required while our children live with us under our roof to raise Christian God fearing, respectful, and emotionally healthy kids. You can’t do that as a parent if you let your children rule over you.
Bill Cosby said:
A parent’s responsibility is not to his child’s happiness; it’s to his character and discipline builds character.
III. If you want to be parents who are honored be parents worthy of Honor
Mom’s and Dad’s we need to be aware that our children are a mirror reflection of us.
Percentage of American teens who say they want to be like their parents: 39%
Charis Conn, (Ed.), What Counts: The Complete Harper’s Index
Why is that? Why such a small percentage? Maybe it is because we as parents aren’t always worthy of honor. Do you walk your talk?
Some teenagers asked their fathers permission to go to a R rated movie. He asked them if there was any foul language, or sexual immorality in it. They said yes but it was not bad and there was just a little scene where there was sexual situation. The father said no you may not go. They protested but the father stuck to his guns. He got up and went into the kitchen leaving the teenagers dejected. A few hours later he said he felt bad about not letting them go to the movie and he had made them brownies. He assured them that he used the best ingredients, the best sugar, and chocolate, and oh yes he had gone out in the backyard to get just a little of fido’s dog poop to really give it flavor. They were shocked and wouldn’t eat any. The Father reassured them that it was just a little amount and that they would never know it was there. They wouldn’t eat it no matter how much the Father tried to get them too.
Parents when we say that something is not appropriate for our children because of language, sex, violence, then what make appropriate for us to watch. Just because we are adults? If we send our children out of the room because we want to watch something that is “for adults”, then we need to question our habits and ask ourselves if we are living honorably
What did Jesus say
Matthew 18:3 he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
I try to live by a bit of advice I received. “Do everything in life as if your children were watching you.” Would they understand, would it hurt them, would they be disappointed in you, would they be ashamed of you? Parents, when we behave honorably, children will find it easier to honor us.
4. What part do Children play in Honor your father and mother
Most kids think their parents are lame, boring, old fogies who’s only purpose in life is make rules and ruin their fun. Get over it. Think about what you owe your parents. You have a place to live, you have food, your parents worry about your decisions and are there to pick you up after a bad one and support you in the good ones. Your parents pray for you, your parents love you unconditionally. They know what you need and try to supply it.
A Christian psychologist was counseling a young teenage girl who was angry with her parents. She ended her counseling session by saying “I don’t owe my parent nothin’”. The Christian counselor responded by saying “When you get home take a look at your belly button. You owe them your very life!” Most of us have parents that we may think are commonplace, but thank God for them. They are the lovers of our lives and wish but nothing but the best for us. Honor them, because there will come a day when they are gone and you will wish they were still here. If you are child of a parent the absolutely is not worthy of any honor then start honoring God. Live loving him, and living by his rules. Apply them to your lives and view him as the loving parent you are void of in your life.
The Mineola Messenger printed an article entitled "Children and Their Changing Attitude Towards Their Parents." Let me read it to you:
Age 4: "My parents can do anything"
Age 8: "There might be one or two things they don’t know."
Age 12: "Naturally, my parents don’t understand."
Age 14: "I never realized how hopelessly old fashioned they are."
Age 21: "You would expect them to feel that way; they are out of date."
Age 25: "They come up with a good idea now and then."
Age 30: "I wonder what Mom and Dad think I should do?"
Age 40: "Let’s be patient until we discuss it with our parents."
Age 50: "What would Mom and Dad have thought about it?"
Age 60: "I wish I could talk it over with them one more time."
All of us are children, make sure that if you have parents that are still here honor them.
Being a parent is not easy and being a child is not easy. There is one that makes it much easier though. Jesus Christ if you have wonderful family, or a family falling apart you need a Savior. Jesus is waiting to be honored by your devotion and your love for Him. He has already proven his love for you, won’t you give him your life, your family, your love,
