Three Things Every Husband Wants His Wife To Say
November 10, 2001 First Baptist Church, Chester, Illinois Mike Fogerson, Speaker
Introduction:
1. Last week we looked at 3 things every wife wants to hear her husband say.
A. Some women called me this week and offered a few more things they would like to hear.
a. "Here’s the credit card."
"Let’s go out for supper. Which restaurant do you want to go to?"
"That outfit is very slimming!"
"I’d love to go to your parents house for the weekend."
b. Thank you for your advice and guidance ladies!
B. Gentlemen, last week you were given three things to say/do to help your marriage.
a. Ladies, today it is your turn.
b. Many of your men made decisions to say what needs to be said last week, ladies your going to be given the same challenge this week.
2. "Three things every husband wants his wife to say" is this week’s message.
A. Heb. 13:4
HEB 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
a God wanted marriages to be honored by everybody. (ETS)
b A healthy marriage takes lots of work. (ESS)
B Wives. I hope you’ll take this message to heart by saying one of these things to your wife this week. (Objective)
a Who will say what needs to be said? (Probing Question)
b Let’s look at three things that every husband wants to hear his wife say.
*pray
1 "You’re the man."
A Men and women get married with certain expectations. She believes she can change her husband, He believes she won’t change. Both are WRONG!
GE 3:16 To the woman he said,"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." This is your curse ladies!!!!!
a Paraphrase of the curse: Ladies, you do your best to change your man.
*Men interpret this as highly disrespectful....so we reject the advice.
*This has knotted panties from Moscow and Memphis!! Why?
*Women interpret this as men withholding his love....which gives the woman a stronger desire to change her man. MELTDOWN!!!!!
b This is why Oprah and Dr. Phil are millionaires.
B Originally God created men and women as equal partners (Gen 2:18)
GE 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." "How did we get from Gen. 2:18 to Gen 3:16?" SIN!!!
a Man ruling over women...never mentioned again in the Old Testament.
*Not in the gospels...Acts.....You have got to go to Paul’s writings.
Is Paul Anti-Woman?
*Gal. 3:28/29
[28] There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. [29] If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.
pHIL. 4:3
[3] Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
Is Paul Anti-Woman? Absolutely Not!!!
b (Paul’s Philosphy: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.)
He addressed the issue of women being under the leadership of their husband because.....there was a problem.
C God made your family with the man as the intended leaders of your home.
(We believe John 3:16, Eph. 2:8,9, Romans 10: 9-10, John 10:10....why do bug out when we read Eph. 5:22-23?)
EPH 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. [24] Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
*We read the word "Submission" and we go "Ugh!" We don’t like to hear it, especially when we a Baptist says it to a woman.
a Are wife and husbands equals...Yes. Partners...Yes.
b The man is a leader among equals.
*I can see why women who....don’t believe in God, Jesus, resurrection, forgiveness of sin, communion of saints would have trouble with Eph. 5.
*For the woman who believes....Ephesians 5:22 is simply God’s instruction to the woman.
*Just like Eph. 5:25 is God’s instruction to the man. EPH 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Look over to your husband and say, "You’re the man."
2 "Yes we can."
A "It takes two to tango."
a It only takes one not to tango.
b 1CO 7:1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. [2] But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
*Your marriage is a place to dance till your hearts content. (You will need a partner)
B Ladies, it’s not just YOUR husband. Most of us were made that way.
a Just as women need the nonsexual touch (which men should give), the men need the sexual touch.
b Some wives think its funny to be the Queen of Denial...it’s incredible frustrating to your husband.
C According to scripture, I Cor. 7:3-4, wives have the duty to fulfill their husbands sexual desires. (If you don’t do what the bible says.......it is sin.)
a [3] The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4] The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
*Wives if you withhold your body because of revenge, punishment, manipulations, Your messing up.
b [5] Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6] I say this as a concession, not as a command.
*Ladies, if your saying "no" all the time, you better be doing a lot of praying.
*vv:6 Paul is saying, You can pray and play. You don’t have to observe abstinence to pray.
3 Honey, I was wrong, will you forgive me?
A A newspaper classified caught my eye recently,
a FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Brittannica. Excellent condition. No longer needed. Wife knows everything.
b Ladies, regardless of what you think...you don’t know it all
"Your husband doesn’t need a Playboy play mate. They simply need a playmate. Means not always complaining, nagging, honey-do list’s"
B PR 27:15 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; 16 restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
a PR 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
b Ladies, Do not criticize your husband to other people. Speak only positive.
*When you point out faults, do it privately and out of love.
*Martin Luther: "Let the wife make her husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."
*Does this mean that the man comes homes, vegges on the couch and doesn’t do anything at the house? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Helps For House Work:
Make a Work inventory
Estimate your present division of labor
Create a fair division of labor.
C Ladies! There is a God and your not it.
a Romans 3:23 "For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
*You’ve made a mess! If (and when)you do mess up...fess up and ask for forgiveness.
b Men! Let’s talk about forgiveness!
Mt 6:14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. [15] But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
*Men...When your wife asks for forgiveness (genuinely repentent.....forgive.
If you don’t, you’ve got an obedience problem. The bible tells us too.
"Every marriage is made up of two sinners. Every good marriage is made up of two good forgivers."
Conclusion:
1 You get what you pay for. Healthy marriages takes a lot of work. (ESS)
A We’ve looked at three things every husband wants his wife to say.
* "You’re the man."
* "Yes we can."
* "Honey, I was wrong. Will you forgive me?"
B Wives. I hope you’ll take this message to heart by saying one of these things to your wife this week. (Objective)
a You can either say these things this week.....or
b You can chose not to. These are things you husband loves to hear.
2 Who will say what needs to be said? (Probing Question)
A A couple was celebrating their 50th Anniversary. In the reception line a young woman praised the senior bride. "I don’t know how you’ve stayed married to one man for 50 years. I haven’t met anyone I want to stay with for 50 years."
a The older lady looked at the woman and said, "Don’t get married until you met the man you want to stay with for 50 years."
b Most of you have made the decision to get married. (That is a long term commitment.)
Do you remember these words.......
"I, take you to be my spouse and partner, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death; as God is my witness, I give you my promise."
*How long did you say you’d stay with your current spouse? Till you die.
*You can keep your word or ..........be a liar.
*"But I’m not happy. So what. Get happy.
(God never intended you stay in a relationship where your being beaten (physically or emotionally)...God does intend you stay in all other marriages and make them work.
B Who will say what needs to be said, ladies?
a I hope you’ll take this message to heart and say one these things this week.
b Pray
