MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
CENTRAL CHRISTIAN, BROWNSVILLE, TX
A. Today is Father’s Day, & as such it is a very special day for most families in our nation. And while fathers may not always be everything that they ought to be, it is interesting to note that when Jesus wanted to illustrate the love & the nature of God, He chose to have us think of God as a heavenly father.
And when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, Jesus told them to begin with these words, "Our Father, who art in heaven."
Probably the best-known parable that Jesus told is the one we call "The Parable of the Prodigal Son." In one way or another, most of us can identify with the prodigal. And maybe that is why we have given it that name.
But it has been suggested that the point of the story is really more the loving & forgiving & waiting father than it is the prodigal son. It is about a father who waits & waits until finally his son comes back home again. Listen as I read that familiar story to you once again.
[READ Luke 15:11-14.]
ILL. Recently I listened to a friend of mine talk about his father who is now in his 70’s & who has always lived in the same little town in Illinois.
Well, as my friend grew up during the WW2 years his father was almost a stranger to him. His dad went to work early in the morning before he was up, & often came home late at night after the family had gone to bed. And when they did see him he was so tired & irritable that you really didn’t want to spend much time around him.
But his dad worked hard at providing them a good home - a place of security - a place where their needs were met. And recently, their relationship has deepened & become much stronger. He says that he is so thankful that they now have had the opportunity to grow to appreciate each other as friends & not just as father & son.
ILL. Do you remember when you brought your first child home? When our oldest child, Patty, was born fathers were not permitted to hold the baby while it was still in the hospital. You just got to look through the nursery window & imagine what it would be like. Mothers got to hold them but fathers didn’t.
And when you look at your newborn baby you realize just how fragile life is, & what an awesome responsibility is now yours to provide for its present as well as future needs.
B. As I reflect on this, if I had it all to do over again there would be two mistakes I hope I wouldn’t make the second time around.
Number one, I would realize how important it is to spend "quality" time with my children. I realize that is an overused word. But when my kids were growing up I was so busy. And of course, if you’re doing God’s work, then you really don’t have to worry about your family, do you? Oh yes, you do!
If I had it all to do over again, I would listen more, & ask more questions, & attend more activities with them.
2. My second mistake was that I didn’t realize how fast the time would pass. I somehow thought I had plenty of time to be with my children & to influence & mold their lives. But that time passes so fast.
If you’re a young father this morning & you have little children, please realize that this time is not going to last very long, & you need to use it while you have it within your grasp.
PROP. This parable about the waiting father teaches four very important lessons. I’ve put them together in clusters of three words each.
I. YOU ARE FREE!
A. First of all, it teaches that a loving father should be able to say to his children, "You are free!" These are words of release, & words of confidence expressed about your child. "You are free."
Child psychologists have long told us that the first few years of life are extremely important because that’s when attitudes are shaped, & decision-making mechanisms developed.
In those first few years as they watch Mom & Dad, as they listen, as they observe, their personalities are formed. And if we’re going to have much influence on them it must be in those first few years, because all too soon they begin to grow up.
B. Then comes a time when children almost resent parents. It’s a time of rebellion - a time of flexing muscles & saying, "I want to be free."
And even though you may realize that your child is not mature enough & not prepared to face life alone, there will come that point in time when you have no other choice as a parent but to say, "You’re free."
ILL. Last year the City Council of Dallas, in an attempt to re-establish law & order to their city, debated setting a curfew for children 17 years old & younger. It was proposed that if they were caught out on the streets after 11:00 a $500 fine would be levied against the parents.
Teenagers hated the idea. Parents weren’t very hot on it either. But the City Council was saying that parents are responsible for their kids. And the kids were out of hand. They were up too late, doing things they shouldn’t have been doing. So the City Council was considering a curfew where parents would either have their kids home by 11:00 or pay the city $500.
ILL. Compare that to the little town of Dermott, AR. Dermott had a similar problem. So, I’ve been told, the city council decided that if the parents could not control a child that they could pay $100 & assign the responsibility for punishing that child over to the city.
And the punishment that the city was considering was this: A child that was deemed “out-of-control” (ignoring curfew or certain other ordinances of the city) could be sentenced to be put in stocks for a period of time on the front yard of the City Council building. The severity of the offense would determine the amount of time spent in the stocks. Interesting idea, isn’t it?
SUM. Well, whatever the circumstances, with every child - good child, bad child - the time comes when that child stands up & says, "I want to leave the nest."
And some of them are going to experiment with that far country. Hopefully, they will come to their senses & come back home again.
So a loving father says, "It’s your decision. You are free. I’ll pray for you. I’ll be waiting for you when you come back. But you are free."
II. I LOVE YOU!
A. Secondly, a loving father ought to be able to express to his children these words, "I love you!" These are bonding words - a foundation upon which a family is built - a love that is always there & consistently the same.
I think we make a big mistake as parents if we tell our children, "If you’re good, Daddy will love you. But if you’re bad, Daddy won’t love you."
No, real love is always there. If you do bad we don’t like the bad, but we still love you.
ILL. When my grandchildren were small I noticed that if they were doing something wrong & you told them, "No, no." Or even if you had to spank their little hands or something, it wasn’t long until they came back to you to be reassured of your love. They knew that they had done something wrong. Now they needed to know, "Do you still love me?"
It is so important then that you take them in your arms & reassure them that even though they have done something you don’t like, you still love them & your love relationship is still intact.
B. Now love is not always hugs & kisses. Sometimes love has to be tough. We discipline because we love. There are times when you must draw the line & say, "Here are the boundaries & you are not to go beyond them."
ILL. Dr. Joyce Brothers tells about a survey of more than 2,000 5th & 6th grade children. She discovered in this survey that the children who were the most solid emotionally, who had the best image of themselves, who were doing best in school, were the children who came from homes where there was strict discipline.
Discipline given in love communicates that we care for you all the time. When you’re bad we love you. When you’re good we love you. But we want you to realize that there are limits as to how far you can go.
III. I FORGIVE YOU!
A. Then a loving father ought to be able to say, "I forgive you!" These are words that reconstruct a relationship - words of reconciliation - words that tear down the walls that have been built.
God is a loving father. And like the waiting father in this story, when we come home again He is anxious to forgive us. You don’t see this father saying, "You made your mistakes. You made your bed. Now lie in it."
No, when he comes home the father quickly shouts to the servant, "Bring the best robe & sandals, & a ring, & kill the fatted calf. We’re going to celebrate because he was lost & now he is found. He was dead & now he is alive again."
That is so important. I think virtually every child will do something along the way that will cause Mom & Dad to be disappointed. Then how will you react? You can choose never to forgive & always to hold a grudge & remind the child constantly of the wrongs done, or you can forgive & forget & go on.
ILL. My preacher friend says that he can remember vividly his mother & his grandfather arguing over some money that Grandpa had loaned Mom & Dad to invest in their business. They hadn’t been able to pay it back just when he thought they should. So they argued & shouted at each other about it. As a result, for years they didn’t go to Grandma’s & Grandpa’s house because of a grudge between them.
Even at Christmas time if Grandma wanted to give them presents she had to sneak them in because Grandpa wouldn’t approve. On the other hand, his Mom & Dad wouldn’t think of going out there, either. They were far too proud. And for years the children were deprived of knowing & loving their grandparents because each one was too proud to say, "I forgive."
B. Life is just too short for such grudges. And if there are differences in your family now is the time to tear down the walls & rebuild the bridges so that there can be a loving & forgiving relationship once again.
ILL. I love the story about the little girl who went to Sunday School. When she came home with her Sunday School papers, she & her mom were leafing through them & they came to a picture of Jesus. Her mother asked, "Do you know who that is?" She said, "Well, I don’t know his name, but I do know he goes to our church."
IV. I ENJOY YOU!
Finally, a loving father ought to be able to say to his children, "I enjoy you!" There ought to come a time in life when we can sit back & say, "I really enjoy being with you. You are more like a friend to me now then you are a son or a daughter. I enjoy your company & I enjoy talking & just spending time with you."
ILL. Max Lucado, in his book, "Applause from Heaven," tells about flying home after having been gone for more than a week of speaking engagements.
He says, "I know that my wife & our two daughters will be waiting at the airport for me. And as I walk down the long corridor & round the bend & into the terminal, I’ll see my wife & she’ll have a big smile on her face, & my two little girls will be there. Then my youngest daughter will begin to applaud because Daddy’s been gone & now Daddy’s come home."
Then Lucado adds, "One of these days we’re going to walk down the long corridor through the pearly gates onto the streets of gold. We might see Paul over here & Peter over there & maybe Moses & Elijah."
"But finally," he says, "we’re going to round the bend into the throne room of God, & there on the throne will be God the Father. And by His right side Jesus the Christ." "Then," he said, "we’ll hear the applause of heaven & begin to enjoy God, & God will begin to enjoy us for all eternity."
CONCL. If you’re still wandering around in the streets of the far country this morning, I hope that somehow God is speaking to you & that you recognize your need to come home. I can assure you that the Father waits. He waits. He looks down the road of your life & waits to see your form as you walk back home again.
And when you come He’ll receive you with open arms & assure you of His love. We offer His invitation this morning & pray that you will respond to it as we stand & as we sing.
