Session One
First Down: Focus on the Goal
A. It’s hard to keep focused in a marriage.
a A successful football team will line up for first down with one clear goal: To execute the play as a single unit. Not flawlessly, just successfully.
b Matthew 19:5-6
"[5] and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? [6] So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
*The play we are trying to execute is to become O____.
B. Men and Women tend to focus on different areas.
a Women tend to focus on significance inside the home/family.
Men tend to focus on significance outside the home/family.
b Husband and wife will drift apart.
C. A better focus comes by acting like Christ.
a When we both seek Jesus two things happen.
(1) We draw c_____ to God.
(2) We draw closer to e_____ o_____.
b MT 7:24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. [25] The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. [26] But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. [27] The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
D. There are two ways for us to focus on and draw closer to God.
(Matt. 7:26)
a L________ to God.
b D_______ what He says.
How do we talk and listen to God? (Ex.33:11)
What are two things we can do to follow Jesus?
1.(Sundays)
2.(Money)
Questions To Ask Yourself:
1. Do you agree that if you and your spouse grow closer to Christ, it will benefit your marriage? Why or why not.
2. List two things that you and your spouse can do together to focus on Christ.
Answers:
one, closer, each other, listen, do
Session Two:
Second Down: Commitment
A. Commitment to the right things makes a marriage s______.
a As a couple commit to each other, your marriage and your home.
b If your committed to getting YOUR way, YOUR agenda, YOUR dreams, YOURSELF.....YOUR marriage is in deep w_____.
B. Commitment is nurtured by spending t_____ together.
a It’s not quality time that matters. It’s just time.
b Get a_____ and spend some time together.
C. Do you remember these words.......
"I __________ (insert your name), take you______(insert your spouses name), to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death; as God is my witness, I give you my promise."
a You are either going to keep these vows...or your not.
b You swore to God you would. This is a big deal!!!
*You’ve got to have the right attitude. "I’m going to keep my promise."
*You’ve got to protect your marriage.
Questions:
1. On a scale of one to 10 (ten being perfect), rate your general attitude about your marriage. Are you being realistic? Would your spouse agree with your assessment? How can you improve your attitude?
2. Will you schedule "alone" time for your spouse and for each one of your children in the coming week?
Answers: Safe, weeds, time, alone
Session Three:
Third Down: Honor
A. Love that keeps marriages together gives honor in all four domains of life. (E______________, I______________, P___________ & S____________)
a Eph. 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
"Successful marriages are successful because both parties meet the needs of their spouse."
b Wives need their guys to.........care for her emotional honor.
How can you do that men?
Husbands need their gals to......care for his intellectual honor.
How can you do that women?
B Adam and Eve are a great case study in honor
GE 2:23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,’ for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
a Adam and Eve’s marriage started just like yours......in love.
*In chapter 3 Eve falls as prey to the serpent and breaks Dad’s only rule!
GE 3:8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. [9] But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"
GE 3:12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."
b Adam blamed his wife. Ouch!!! TWO BIG MISTAKES!!!
(1) He blamed God for giving him a c_____ wife.
(2) Adam gave Eve reason to d____ his love for her.
C. Sexuality-Physical Honor
a Lust is adultery. Period.
b We don’t ever need to discuss our sexual life with anyone other than our spouses and God. (On RARE occasions, a clinically trained therapist who believes God brings healing.)
"God gave sex to you and your spouse to enjoy p________."
D. Spiritual honoring (I Peter 1-5,7)
1PE 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, [2] when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. [3] Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. [4] Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. [5] For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
a If you know the Lord, vv:1-5 are not a license for someone to walk on you. It’s simply God’s instruction to you. S_________ isn’t a simile for doormat.
b Verse 7 isn’t your license to nag either. It’s simply God’s instruction to your husband.
1PE 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
a Men, Your wife is God’s little girl. *If you mistreat her, Big Daddy has no time for you!
b Ladies, what possible reason could you have for not wanting your husband to be a godly leader in your home?
Questions:
1. Write on a 3x5 card three things that you are doing that is taking honor away or holding honor back from your spouse.
2. What one specific thing will you do to respond to your spouse’s basic need to hear you love her or to know that he has your respect?
3. Write down a blessing that you will deliver to your spouse in the next 24 hours.
4. What does your spouse do that shows they honor you?
5. What do you do that shows you honor your spouse?
Answers: Emotional, Intellectual, Physical, Spiritual, Crummy, Doubt, Privately, Submission
Session Four
Fourth Down: Teachability
In football, your 4th down is your LAST play before the other team gets the ball back. It’s do or die time!
A. Seek A_______. (Not from just anybody.)
a Find a couple in your church (or the church next door.)
b You can trust them to keep a c________.
c They are on their first marriage. (Why do people get advice from divorced friends?)
d They have celebrated at least 10 more wedding anniversaries than you.
B. Seek out a m__________. (Pastor/a chosen couple)
a It’s free.
b You’ll get scriptural guidance, prayer, practical guidance.
"I don’t know of one divorced couple who took biblical advice and stuck with it."
Lawyers are advocates. Pastors are mediators.
C Pick up your messes.
a P_________ will stop you from picking up your messes.
b No one else will.
D Be t________.
a Realize that there is a God and......your not it.
b Give your marriage your all and don’t stop short.
Questions:
1. Write down a mess that you need to clean up and go clean it up.
2. If your marriage is bad, do you believe that you and God can heal it?
Answers: advice, confidence, mediator, pride, teachable
