YOUR CHILD - - - A TRUST FROM GOD
Psalm 127:3; Malachi 2:15; Selected Others
“Why does God entrust us with children?” Or stated differently, “What is the goal or purpose of parenting?” In preparation for this series on Christian parenting, I have read or skimmed dozens of books, articles, web sites and essays on Christian parenting. Many of them are good. But I have made an interesting discovery: very few spend any time or space on the biblical purpose of having children or God’s goals for parenting. Most teach ways to succeed but never define success. Successful parenting is more than survival.
BIG IDEA: PARENTING IS TO BE PURPOSE DRIVEN!
When we lose sight of our purpose or where we are supposed to going in the mission of parenting we begin to substitute any number of approaches to parenting:
(Note: see Bruce Wilkinson, Spritual Breakthroughs for more development of these. I have adapted some of his to this message)
1. Ostrich Approach --- Bruce Wilkinson calls this the close-your-eyes-and-hope-for-the-best-parent.
Just take care of basic needs, shuttle them around, feed them keep clothes on their backs and look the other way… it will all work out in the end.
2. Delegator Approach--- Believing that good leadership always means delegation, this parent uses others to raise his or her children: childcare, day care, schools, camps, counselors, scouts, coaches, church and anyone else out there they can delegate parental responsibility to raise their children.
3. Neiman Marcus Approach --- This parent believes that if he or she just provides the child with the best of everything then all the child’s needs will be met. Nothing but the best for my child – clothes, toys, schools, a car ….
4. Warden Approach --- This parent runs a tight ship like the Von Trapp father in Sound of music. These drill instructor parents focus on keeping all external behavior in line with a detailed set of rules. Their kids would describe them as rigid, critical, meddling and angry.
5. Busy Bee Approach --- Kids need to learn how to program mom and dad’s palm pilot just to get time with them. This parent’s focus is career advancement not kids. (And it is often justified because of the kids).
6. Church Mouse Approach --- This parent believes that the more time the kid spends in church, Sunday school and youth group, the better off they will turn out. There is some truth to that but sometimes church is used like punishment. ILL: Me & counseling --- Why are you here? Parents are making me talk to you. So I am your punishment. Yup! Go home. Come back when you want to grow up and want to talk with me… You want to go or stay? Stayed…
7. Taxi Cab Approach --- Parenting is simply a transportation problem. They believe that lining up a full calendar of events and activities is what makes a successful family: (Sports, music, drama, dance, cooking, woodworking, karate, youth group. These worn out parents aren’t purpose driven, they are activity driven --- driving theirs kids anywhere and everywhere.
We can all see a little bit of ourselves in some of these. But underlying these are truth-deficient approaches to parenting often lurks a sinful compromise: slothfulness, self-centeredness, greed, materialism, fear, legalism and irresponsibility. (Bruce Wilkinson, Experiencing Spiritual BreakThroughs, 204)
PROP: PARENTING IS TO BE PURPOSE DRIVEN
All that we do is to be driven by the over-all purposes God has given us for parenting.
TRANS: ASK AND ANSWER TWO QUESTIONS: “WHY?” and “HOW?”
1. Why? “Why does God entrust us with children?” (purposes and goals)
2. How? “How do we go about that?”
1. WHY? --- “WHY DOES GOD ENTRUST US WITH CHILDREN?” (PURPOSES AND GOALS)
If parenting is to be purpose driven then we must understand God’s purpose (s);
Purpose Statement
Parents are entrusted with children to raise up godly offspring
in order to powerfully influence the world for Jesus Christ.
1. God entrusts Us With Children….
Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a (His) reward.
Psalm 127:4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.”
Your children are God’s most serious assignment in your life.
“Gift/ heritage” = that which may be passed on as a permanent inheritance, but an inheritance
in the sense of a trust. In law = ‘the confidence reposed in a person by giving him nominal ownership of something, which he is to keep, use and or administer for another’s benefit (in this case Gods’s). Something that belongs to another but has been entrusted to you
for you to care for, for you to teach, for you to love, for you train up, for you to protect… but in accordance with the instructions of the giver… the true owner: God the creator…
Steward or managers of that which belongs to another: God.
“Arrows” --- we are to make sure they are aimed toward the right destination not just to do with what we please.
ILL: The story of two paddleboats & cargo…
Two paddleboats left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. As they traveled side by side, sailors from one vessel made a few remarks about the snail’s pace of the other. Words were exchanged. Challenges were made. And the race began. Competition became vicious as the two boats roared through the Deep South.
One boat began falling behind. Not enough fuel. There had been plenty of coal for the trip, but not enough for a race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor took some of the ship’s cargo and tossed it into the ovens. When the sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as the coal, they fueled their boat with the material they had been assigned to transport. They ended up winning the race, but burned their cargo.
God has entrusted cargo to us, too: our children. Our job is to do our part in seeing that this cargo reaches its destination. God has entrusted His children to us…precious cargo
2. To Raise Up Godly Offspring…
(a) God commands married people to have children
Genesis 1:28 “God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it…” This does not mean that everyone will have children, they won’t. But it does tell us that from the beginning God it has been God’s plan to fill the earth with people and to do so through parents raising children…
(b) God desires godly offspring
God introduces marriage in Genesis 2 with Adam and Eve:
Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Apostle Paul refers back to this passage in teaching on marriage in NT:
Ephesians 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
JESUS: Matthew 19:6 "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
Notice that the two shall become one (a new creation bound by covenant with God)
Malachi 2:13-15 (NIV)
Context: Religious leaders of God’s people were breaking covenant with God and divorcing their wives and in so doing they angered God and endangered their children:
Malachi 2: 13 “Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.
Mal 2:14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Mal 2:15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”
"Did you catch that? On creation day, God set in place a big idea, a master plan, and He put it in the safekeeping of two people --- a father and a mother. He didn’t just put this plan in place for the selfish pleasure of the couple… God wanted something from them. He was waiting for it, counting on it, and depending on it so the rest of His plan could work: Through the union of man and woman/husband and wife, He is seeking godly offspring. That is on the top of His list when it comes to reasons for marriage. In God’s mind and plan marriage is the starting point for filling the world with people who will love Him, worship Him and serve Him." (Bruce Wilkinson, Experiencing Spiritual Break Throughs)
Why doesn’t he use the Hebrew word for children?
“offspring” --- zera (seed) can mean children but mostly is used of family members or descendants.
Godly offspring doesn’t mean godly kids (although that’s part of it), but godly grown children… adults
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even (so that) when he is old (mature) he will not depart from it.”
ASK: What is the fruit of the apple tree?
ANSWER: (not an apple) Another apple tree … full grown that bears fruit of its own.
Psa 71:17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Psa 71:18 Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next
generation, your might to all who are to come.
ILL: Relay race --- Baton of salvation and godliness
Isn’t God awesome? He could have populated the earth with millions godly offspring without involving Mom’s & Dads…, but in His master plan He chose to use us to do it.
Parents are entrusted with children to raise up godly offspring
in order to powerfully influence the world for Jesus Christ.
3. In order to influence the world for Jesus Christ
Matthew 28:19,20 “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
2 Corinthians 5:19, 20 “And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. {20} We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.”
Matthew 5: salt and light…good works 14} "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. {15} Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. {16} In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven
Why should any one believe us?
Answer: Because of the difference God is making in our own lives
“Children are redemptive. They call us to die to self and to yield to Christ as Master and Lord.” (Rainey)
Children bring out the best in us and children bring out the worst in us. It doesn’t take very long after having children for us to see the selfishness that lurks within (us)… the anger that can be easily kindled… the laziness that bids us quit…
God in His grace has given us a new nature and a new power for living; And once we understand and accept that even in the midst of difficulty, people will see Christ in us… And so God uses children to help us grow …God uses our children to teach us more and more about His love, His forgiveness and His grace. God has entrusted us with the shaping of the soul of each child we are privileged to raise.
John 14:12 I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.
IN the context of teaching about the power of prayer and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in the lives of believers in Christ…our lives, Jesus tells us we will do greater works than even He has done while on earth….
Which is a greater work…?
A 250 pound body builder lifting up a great weight…
Or a 130 pound frail human lifting up an even greater weight?
Christ did miracles in the power of God as God…
We frail, redeemed, prone to sin human are enabled in the power of God to raise children in a fallen world. We frail humans are enabled to do this in the power of God…
Whatever it is that befalls us passes through the hand s of a sovereign God, who loves us and cares for us….
If you are raising a problem child… the world sees how the power of God helps you do that.
If you are suffering from … the world then sees how God empowers you to do that….
If you have been hurt, betrayed or used… the world sees how the power and presence of God allows you to have peace and grace and forgiveness and love…
Children are precious to God… and He entrusts them to us to care for, raise, train, love, forgive, equip and release for the kingdom….
PROP: PARENTING IS TO BE PURPOSE DRIVEN
Parents are entrusted with children to raise up godly offspring
in order to powerfully influence the world for Jesus Christ.
2. How? How can we actually raise godly offspring that influence the world for Christ?
TRANS: Ten Steps To Raising Godly Offspring
1. Love the Lord With All Your Heart --- “powerful teaching is not about, ultimately, about the teacher’s techniques; it’s about the teacher’s heart.” (Wilkinson) Our children will be impacted by the things we truly devote our lives to… the things we love. We must start in our own heart relationship with the Lord (Salvation/ Sanctification).
2. Know and Obey God’s Word Yourself …. Deut 6:6-9 Right after telling parents they must start by loving God, Moses then tells them they must love God’s word…His commandments… His scriptures. Ask God for devotion and feelings… He wants you to succeed.
3. Involve your children in prayer … bring Christ into the picture… “lets pray about it” Pray for and with your children.
4. Tell Your Children about how God is working in your life. (Psa 78:3-4) “…what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. {4} We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. 7 Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.”
5. Teach Your Children the Word of God. (Deut. 6 [authentic living], Eph 6, 2 Tim 3:15 (NIV) “… from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus…” Never too young…. Reading, talking… sharing… using…
6. Lead Them To Accept Jesus As Their Savior (don’t force it, …) help them to understand the simple truths of the Gospel… and who Jesus is and what He ahs done for them… choose this gift for yourself… (pray with them…)
7. Teach them the assurance they have once they trust in Christ … Saved only once…
8. Encourage and Train them to Love and Serve the Lord… first priority and everything else is part of it. Involve God in different aspects of their lives… fellowship / community / friends…
9. Listen to their heart… modeling His grace, His forgiveness and His love (I’m not perfect, you’re not)
10. Never never never never never never give up. Parenting is a life long process that changes over time. Even when we are old we teach some of life’s most valuable lessons. Don’t meddle in their lives but still be their in their lives.
(Adapted Wilkinsons 7 steps to this)
Hendricks: “You only know the quality of your parenting
when you see what your grandchildren become.”
That is a role I am just learning & begins with praying for them every day.
What do I want you to take home today?
KNOW: Parenting is purpose driven. Purpose is to raise godly offspring. And some basics to do that.
DO: Some of the basics we have talked about
FEEL: CONFIDENT--- that God is enough for your past, your present, and your future. God is bigger than any problem you and your child may encounter.
Some are encouraged --- you’ve been doing well or your kids are doing well.
Some are discouraged --- perhaps a child (young or grown) is not doing so well. Or a little discouraged because of mistakes you’ve made and the guilt you feel. Whatever you do right now, you must not be defeated by the past. Satan would have you beat yourself up for mistakes you have made. God would have you experience His cleansing of your heart and soul and mind; And God would have you take charge of the present. We don’t have to live in the swamp of regret or in the fog of doubt. Why? If we parent according to God’s Word, we can count on His blessing.
