Restorative Justice #5: Abigail, The Peacemaker
1 Samuel 25:2-44
Trinity United Methodist Church, Providence
October 21, 2001
Rev. Anne Grant
We displayed a transparency that said:
USE YOUR POWER TO MAKE PEACE
1. Beware of anger.
2. Act with holy boldness.
3. Humble yourself.
4. Be generous.
Today our Bible story is about a very troubled marriage.
Sometimes, even people in good marriages have disagreements
And they may spark at each other.
One couple was riding along in their car,
And they were having an argument.
They were so angry at each other!
So fed up with each other over everything!
They couldn’t do anything right--neither one of them.
Each one was being stubborn,
stewing in their own corner of the car
Hearts as hard as stone,
Shouting one moment,
Sullen and silent the next, glaring at each other,
Each one was trying to comprehend what it had been
that ever possessed them
to marry such an insufferable person as
The one sitting so close in that car.
And they rode along like that for miles from the city to the country,
They passed a mule--a stubborn, lonely mule--
Eating all by itself out in the meadow.
And the husband glared over at the wife and asked her:
"It that your relative?"
She looked out the window at the mule
And pondered the sight of it, and said to him:
"Yes. By marriage!"
Now, in a healthy marriage, they each might have giggled
And realized they were being foolish.
In a Christian marriage,
they might have realized they were being unfaithful to Christ,
and confessed to each other, and asked God to melt their hearts,
And agreed to learn how to listen and talk
with respect to each other,
to get counseling, to receive help.
Our message this morning is very simple:
Use your power to make peace!
I’m going to preach it to you,
and you’re going to preach it back to me:
Every time I point at you and say:
Use your power to make peace!
You’re going to point back at me and say it to me:
Use your power to make peace!
In whatever arena you have power, at home, at school, at work,
In the community association,
Use your power to make peace!
Use your power to make peace!
In our scripture this morning,
We meet a very wise and generous woman named Abigail.
She is married to a very foolish and mean-spirited man named Nabal.
They lived about 3,000 years ago in Judah
in a culture where men liked to believe
they had all the power, and that women were inferior.
One man might be married to many women
Who bore his children.
His wives were no better than his servants or his slaves.
That’s how he treated them.
There were two very powerful men in her story.
One of them had just brought down a giant and won a war.
And he was about to become king of all Israel,
He would eventually bring together a divided nation,
He would write over a hundred worship songs
That would be sung for thousands of years.
Anybody know his name? [David.]
But David was not the hero of this story.
Because he had gotten tangled in a snare of his own anger,
Why? Because he and his men had been insulted.
They had protected Nabal’s shepherds and flocks
Through the lambing season when they grazed from place to place.
They had protected them from Philistine raiders
Swooping down from the mountains.
None of the shepherds were harmed.
None of the lambs were stolen.
And now the wool was being gathered.
It was time for David and his men to be repaid
With a banquet of appreciation.
But instead of an invitation, they were insulted by Nabal.
When we see David in this story, he’s very angry.
He is determined to take revenge.
When the Jewish law said an eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth, what it meant was
don’t take any more than what was taken from you.
If somebody took your eye,
You have no right to take their life.
The most you can take is an eye.
If they broke your tooth, you can’t break their back.
Don’t escalate your assaults against each other.
You may take no more than what they took from you.
That was the justice of the Jews.
All that changed when Jesus taught us about God’s mercy,
But David knew better than to fight to the death over an insult.
David was certainly not the hero of this story.
The other powerful man was Abigail’s husband, Nabal,
A fabulously wealthy man, feared throughout the region,
Hundreds of people there worked for Nabal.
But he was not the hero of the story.
He was foolish, stingy and mean-spirited.
When he insulted David, he almost started a war
That would have devastated every household for miles around
If it weren’t for the quick thinking and decisive action
Of his wife, Abigail.
In a culture that said women had no power,
God gave Abigail all the power she needed
to be the hero of this story.
Turn to 1 Samuel 25:2, and follow along. Let’s hear the story:
READERS’ THEATER: Abigail, the Peace-Maker (1 Samuel 25:2-35)
A. = NARRATOR
B. = DAVID
C. = NABAL
D. = SERVANT
E. = ABIGAIL
1. NARRATOR: A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.
While David was in the desert, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. So he sent ten young men and said to them,
2. DAVID: Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’"
3. NARRATOR: When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited. Nabal answered David’s servants,
4. NABAL: Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?"
5. NARRATOR: David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. David said to his men,
6. DAVID: Put on your swords!
7. NARRATOR: So they put on their swords, and David put on his. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.
One of the servants told Nabal’s wife Abigail:
8. SERVANT: David sent messengers from the desert to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them.
Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing.
Night and day they were a wall around us all the time we were herding our sheep near them.
Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.
9. NARRATOR: Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys.
Then she told her servants,
10. ABIGAIL: Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.
11. NARRATOR: But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. David had just said,
12. DAVID: It’s been useless — all my watching over this fellow’s property in the desert so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!
13. NARRATOR: When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said:
14. ABIGAIL: My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say.
May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name — his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent.
Now since the LORD has kept you, my master, from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, may your enemies and all who intend to harm my master be like Nabal.
And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my master, be given to the men who follow you.
Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD’s battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live.
Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling.
When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the LORD has brought my master success, remember your servant."
15. NARRATOR: David said to Abigail,
16. DAVID: Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.
17. NARRATOR: Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said,
18. DAVID: Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.
If you were a movie producer telling this story,
You might start right in the middle of things
With a wide-open camera panning over
treacherous, rugged mountains
And miles of desolate wilderness,
And then suddenly into your camera lens
would come this long line of 400 men marching.
They’re carrying swords, ready to fight to the death.
And your camera moves up this line of determined men
Dissolving from face to face, And finally it comes to the leader,
zooms in for a tight close up of his face,
And we see how angry he is.
Rage is written all over David’s face,
And we know he’s ready to kill anyone who gets in his way.
We want to get out of his way as fast as we can.
So the camera pulls back again to show this long line
Driving with fierce determination across the rugged terrain.
And then in the corner of the screen,
We see a small speck moving fast.
Beyond it we see a caravan, a line of donkeys carrying something,
And we realize they are on a collision course,
Heading directly toward David and his army,
The camera pans back over the line of donkeys
Weighed down—not with armed soldiers,
But with unarmed servants and baskets of food and flasks of wine.
We see the lead donkey, and we realize its rider is a woman,
riding as fast as the donkey will go.
She’s urging it faster, faster!
We see a closeup of her face, and the determination in her eyes,
And we know this woman is on a mission.
She intends to confront David and his army
in all their rage and fury.
Again the camera shows us David bent on revenge.
He is wending his way down into a ravine with his men,
We cut to the woman on the donkey starting down the same ravine.
Suddenly David sees the caravan coming toward them.
He calls his army to stop and draw their swords,
And they stand ready to attack.
We see the woman stopping her donkey, jumping down,
Scrambling over the rugged rocks,
running toward David.
He holds out his sword as a warning.
But she ignores it.
Her face, her hair, her clothes are streaked with dust and sweat.
She falls on her knees before him.
She humbles herself, with the words pouring out of her mouth.
She repeatedly calls him her lord
And refers to herself as his servant.
She begs forgiveness for her husband’s foolishness.
She implores David to think about God’s purpose for his life.
She offers up to him the gifts she has brought.
David looks at the donkeys laden with food.
The camera dollies down the line of servants
with their welcome gifts
And it cuts to the faces of David’s hungry men
Who are suddenly delighted at the prospect of a banquet
Without shedding any blood, without losing any lives.
And David thanks Abigail for saving them all
From a very costly and tragic mistake.
We’ve already said that the message today is
Use your power to make peace!
Use your power to make peace!
But there are some other lessons for us to learn:
1. The first lesson for us is to beware of anger.
Anger is a natural part of life.
In the Bible, God gets angry hundreds of times.
Anger is helpful in that it signals us that something is wrong.
Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m angry until I notice
That I’m clenching my teeth. And I say: "Oh, that’s interesting.
I’m clenching my teeth a lot lately.
What is it that I’m angry about?"
If we never feel anger it may be a sign that we’re in denial.
And that’s very dangerous.
The important thing that we read in Eph. 4:26 is: "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Thomas Jefferson, who drafted the immortal words in our Declaration of Independence, that we are "endowed by the Creator with certain inalienable rights," warned:
"When you’re angry you count to ten.
When you’re very angry you count to 100."
Jefferson was right.
If you’re still angry, just keep on counting, and do not do
the thing you thought sounded like such a good idea
while you were angry.
When we act out of anger, chances are we’ll be sinning.
If we look back over our lives, most of us
have learned the same lesson David learned that day
that our own anger again and again and again
has led us astray from the will of God.
It’s all right to be angry.
Let God use your anger to show you what’s unjust in the world
And what God is calling you to do about it.
But do not let the anger lead you into sin like David did.
Sometimes when we stay angry it’s a sign
That we’ve forgotten who’s in charge.
If we remember who’s in charge,
We will be able to feel genuine thankfulness and praise
And address the injustices around us in a wise
And productive way.
No matter how foolish the people in power may be,
they are not the ones finally in charge.
So when you’re angry, start counting
And ask God to show you
What God wants you to do about the situation.
2. The second lesson:
If we want to use our power to make peace
we must sometimes act with holy boldness.
When God shows you something you can say or do
to bring peace in any situation,
don’t worry about what others will say.
Some people will say: who does she think she is?
Who does he think he is?
Don’t you worry about it.
Just be obedient and act with holy boldness.
Abigail didn’t pay any attention to the prejudice of her culture.
Her culture told her she was only a woman and she had no power.
Her culture told her she must be subject to her husband’s wishes.
But she knew her husband was making a huge mistake.
She had no time to consult with anyone else.
She took charge of a whole lot of food
That was probably intended for her husband’s banquet
And commanded the servants to load it up
And she didn’t just send them at their own risk.
She took responsibility for her decision
And sneaked out to meet them and ride ahead of them
as the leader of this peace delegation.
It does not matter if you are a woman or a man,
You are made in the image of God,
You are not inferior to anyone else,
Because of your race or sex or education,
No matter what your culture says.
When God shows you something you can do to bring peace,
Do it, and don’t worry about what anyone else may say.
3. The third lesson
if we want to use our power to make peace
is to humble ourselves like servants.
Abigail was a very wise woman.
She knew David was doing something very misguided,
But she didn’t go to him and say,
"What kind of a fool are you?!"
Instead she humbled herself.
She fell on her knees before David,
She called him her master 11 times.
She called herself his servant 6 times.
That was the best possible way
To get him to listen and change his behavior.
Come in a spirit of humility.
It is the best possible way to make peace.
4. The fourth lesson
is to be generous because no matter how much we give,
we can never outgive God.
Abigail didn’t think twice about letting go of all that food that
Her husband wanted to keep for his own men.
Abigail knew Nabal and his men would never enjoy their banquet
if they were killed in the midst of eating it.
She was lavish in giving everything she could to make peace,
to right the wrong her husband had committed.
The sacrifice was worth it.
So: Use your power to make peace!
Use your power to make peace!
That’s the story of how Abigail stopped a war and made peace.
Now Abigail is going home.
She finds her husband in the middle of his banquet,
He’s very drunk. So she doesn’t tell him anything
Until the next morning.
Then she tells him the whole story.
And we see a mixture of emotions in him
That confuses him so much his body can’t contain it.
He has been disobeyed.
The food and wine he wanted to protect are no longer his.
They are being devoured by his enemy.
He and his men would have been slaughtered,
But they were saved by a woman.
Like so many people who expect to be in control
And then realize there’s nothing they can do about the situation,
Nabal’s confusion turns to panic.
I remember seeing that panic in my own father,
He was raised to be a man in control, and he was a godly man,
Very spiritually grounded, very faithful.
He would never have lied or stolen or committed adultery.
But he was a prisoner of his own rigid control,
I remember so clearly one day when he was confronted,
I could see the confusion in his eyes. I could see the panic
In that moment when he suddenly realized he was not in control.
My father grew spiritually through that experience.
He mellowed and became more gracious, grew closer to God.
But the confusion and panic was more
than Nabal’s body could bear.
Scripture says: "His heart failed him and he became like a stone."
Ten days later, Nabal was dead.
When David found out Nabal had died, he praised God.
He sent a messenger to Abigail asking her to marry him.
He liked that peacemaker, that strong woman,
Who took such decisive action and prevented a war,
The woman who called David to be faithful
To God’s plan for his life
And not to be led astray by his own anger or by the insult of a fool.
David didn’t want a submissive, shrinking violet for a wife.
He wanted to be married to someone with holy boldness,
Someone able and willing to confront him
If he ever again forgot God’s purpose for his life,
A woman able to call David back to the pathway God intended.
And that’s how Abigail became queen of Judah, then of all Israel.
Because she was obedient to God and not to man.
She was full of holy boldness,
She was willing to humble herself.
No matter how much Abigail gave away,
She could never outgive God.
She was generous, able to let go of the things that didn’t matter
In order to grasp the pearl of great price—peace among neighbors.
I read a true story written by Louis Mayer
from his childhood in New Brunswick, Canada.
He had gotten into a fight at school when he was quite a small boy,
And he was feeling bitter, filled with resentment
And a desire for revenge.
His body hurt, but his mind hurt more.
And when he got home,
he was muttering threats about what he would do
To the other kid if he ever got the chance.
The older boys were helping him
build his vocabulary on that subject.
His mother didn’t seem to be paying any particular attention
And went around her work in her usual serene manner.
She was a gentle woman who loved God
And never doubted that God was guiding every part of their lives.
The next day they were out in the country on a family picnic,
And she called Louis aside:
"Louis, come here a moment. I want to show you something."
She took him to a little clearing that faced a rugged,
towering mountain on all sides.
"Now, Louis," she told him, "say what I heard you say yesterday."
Louis began to feel embarrassed and he protested:
"But I don’t remember saying anything wrong."
His mother persisted:
"I do," she replied. "You said ‘Damn you!’"
He couldn’t keep anything from his mother, and they both knew it.
"Yes, I remember now," he said.
She touched his arm gently.
"Say it now," she commanded.
Louis repeated it as quietly as he could.
His mother smiled patiently.
"Louder, son, say it louder. Whatever you say,
you must be willing to say it as loud as you can,
to shout it for all to hear."
He didn’t want to do it,
but it never occurred to him to disobey his mother.
So he faced the mountains and he shouted
at the top of his lungs:
"Damn you!"
Right back it came, like thunder. Like a voice from heaven it denounced him.
Now, said his mother. Try it another way. Say, "Bless you!" instead.
Louis took a long breath and yelled, "Bless you!"
Back it came at him, strong and clear and welcome: "Bless you!"
"Which do you prefer, son?" his mother asked.
"It’s entirely up to you.
Whatever you say to others and to the world returns to you.
Your life creates an echo.
Choose you this day, whom you will serve.
You can choose to bless,
or you can choose to curse.
Every day, every hour, You have that choice, Louis."
Years later, Louis Mayer had a bad accident
that nearly killed him.
For many weeks, the doctors didn’t know if he would live.
He lay in the hospital bed in pain and misery
And heard his mother’s voice again:
"You will have your choice as long as you live."
He pondered what he should give the echo to give back to him,
And he said to himself,
"I am not afraid to die, but I want to live."
The last word, live, echoed back to him,
strong and clear in his mind.
Live! It multiplied into life and strength and power.
As he recovered his strength, he knew he was getting back
The exact echo of what he had put in.
If he had put in hatred, meanness, and revenge,
He would get them back.
If he tried to speak love, kindness, forgiveness,
they would be returned to him like an echo.
Louis B. Mayer, "The Echo,"The Guideposts Anthology, ed. Norman Vincent Peale (Pawling, NY: Guideposts Associates, 1953) pp. 209-212.
Nabal means fool.
We never have to look very far to find a fool,
Not just all around us,
But all too frequently hiding right inside us.
David means beloved.
No matter how much David fell short
Of God’s promise for his life—
Even when his anger almost led him to start a war—
Still God loved him and God loves us enough
To correct us, to keep calling us to accountability
By sending peacemakers into our lives
Who see God’s purpose for our lives clearer than we do
And help us grow up into all that God intends us to be.
Even when we fall short like David did,
And let our anger get the best of us,
God sends in the peacemakers with their holy boldness
And their servant’s heart to turn us away
From our bitterness and desire for revenge,
And to transform us just like Abigail did for David.
Abigail means my father’s joy.
When you and I become peacemakers,
When we turn others aside from their anger,
From their desire for revenge,
From their readiness to make war,
We become the joy of our father in heaven,
We become the joy of our heavenly parent,
In whose image we are made.
We begin to look more and more
Like our heavenly Mom and Dad.
Do you want to bring joy to the heart of God this week?
Then listen to what God is showing you about making peace—
In your group of friends, your family, your household,
your neighborhood, your school, your job—around the world.
Who is it in your life who is angry today like David was?
Who is determined to take revenge?
Who doesn’t care if they are fueling the flames of war?
God has called you and me to become servants
To load up our donkeys with good things,
To speak to the hearts of those bent on revenge,
To appeal to their highest sense of whom God made them to be.
So the lesson today is:
Use your power to make peace!
Use your power to make peace!
Let’s pray:
Lord show each one here how to use your power to make peace. When we meet those who are bound up in anger
Or when we find anger in ourselves
and resentment and the desire for revenge,
Show us how we can be obedient servants of yours
and make peace. Amen.
